77: Social anxiety is nervous system injury trauma

Jackdaw
@Jackdaw202
As a therapist I would never underestimate the effects of having a narcissist as a close relative or partner. It can devestate your personality and beliefs about yourself. It can leave you with PTSD. Yesterday I worked with someone who lost her children to a powerful narcissist. It's not a case of being stoic or changing your mindset, it requires action to free yourself. Distance above all is needed if you find yourself locked in with a narcissist, and changing your life to achieve that distance can be an enormous challenge.
Like all hard things though, it can be done.

The Narcissist Box
@NarcissistBox
Self-isolating for more than a month slows down your healing 👇🏼
When you self-isolate a lot, it deregulates your nervous system more, and you’ll get to a point where you realize that your life has gotten small and that you crave connection and joy again.
@theworkoutwitch

Elizabeth Shaw - Overcoming Narcissist Abuse.
@CoachElizabethS
What's crazy is a narcissist's ability to mistreat others, then act as if they're the victim.

StrongManGuide
@StrongManGuide
Jan 2
If you feel calmer without them,
That’s the answer.

Bogus
@Boguswok
Take it personal. At this age people definitely know what they’re doing, trust me

𝓐𝓷𝓭𝔂‬
‪@andychester.bsky.social‬
Everything had its meaning

Workplace Mental Health Resources
@Stopworkplacebu
Being disliked by toxic people is the #1 sign you’re winning in life.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
The reason why covert and malignant narcissists get away with their manipulation, is not because they are particularly smart. It’s not because their lies and manipulation tactics are “skilled.”
It’s because their behavior is so detached from humanity that most people won’t believe they’re doing what they’re actually doing. It’s simply too inhuman.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Narcissists won’t just lie about you, they will say the complete opposite of the truth. You might be one of the hardest workers and they will accuse you of being lazy to everyone they speak to. You might be one of the nicest people and they will accuse you of being mean or being a bully.
They’re trying to erase the person they feel threatened by with murderous motivation.
Make no mistake, the malignant narcissist wants anyone who threatens their ego dead. That’s their secret fantasy. Yes, they are that depraved.

gabrielle
@legitimatetiger
realizing everything you experience is a projection of your own consciousness and it’s never that serious, you can just say fuck it and decide it no longer controls you

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Many of us try to see the best in people. Narcissists see a mirror darkly version of you that isn’t you at all and they’ll see it so firmly, they’ll try to make it who you are. It’s like they NEED you to be a diminished version of yourself. Over time, we might even start to believe their negative, abusive perspective of us. And that’s their goal; spiritual murder

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Malignant narcissists will throw their own children under the bus to protect their false public image. They’re more concerned about what random people think of them than their own family. 🧵
Why? Because they exist entirely in their false self which means their sense of self is based entirely on what outside observers perceive them as.
When a person sees them for who they are, that person is deemed a threat to their reality and labeled a non-entity by the narcissist and must be discarded from reality, i.e. smear campaigned, sabotaged, or worse.
Most often this is the people closest to them that must be discarded because it’s the people closest to them who can see what they really are

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Accountability is a narcissist’s breaking point. Once you challenge their “version” of events or ask for an apology, a narcissist will choose their ego over you every time.

Debby
@BalogunAbass12
Stay away from people who don’t see your efforts but never miss your mistakes.

Thee Aries
@GiftedAsia
Jan 3
Having to walk on eggshells cause the people around you can’t take accountability is a miserable life

Every time we try to establish a new belief, it would be useful if had all the available evidence and the time to make a considered decision. But in much of life we don't have that luxury (no time, evidence). We have to rely on our beliefs to guide our actions.
WILLIAM JAMES, DK

Camp can't fix you because you aren't broken.
WILL & GRACE

Søren Kierkegaard was the first to acknowledge we experience the same anxiety when we realize we have the freedom to make even the most terrifying decisions. "The dizziness of freedom", it increases our self-awareness and sense of personal responsibility.
DK THE PHILOSOPHY BOOK

Libriscent
@libriscent
I don’t understand grown people that do not understand that treating people poorly results in those people not wanting to be around them

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
There’s a terrible moral reversal in narcissistic families: the psychologically healthy person in an otherwise toxic system is the one labeled as “mentally ill.” The person with intact empathy, moral consistency, and reality-testing, is a threat to the narcissist’s facade, so the toxic system has to neutralize them. The easiest way to do that is to pathologize them.
So the family flips reality:
The most psychologically grounded person becomes “the problem.”
Normal reactions to abuse are reframed as mental illness, instability, or defect.
Relentless pressure, gaslighting, and punishment are applied until trauma finally appears—and then that trauma is used as “proof” that the label was correct all along.
Meanwhile, the dishonest, cruel, or morally hollow members are declared “healthy” precisely because they conform to the pathology of the system. Their lack of empathy, denial, and cruelty are treated as normal because they don’t challenge the family’s false narrative.
What makes it especially grotesque is the circular logic:
We abused you because you were “mentally ill,” and the damage we caused now proves you were mentally ill.
This is deeply entrenched character assassination as a control mechanism. The scapegoat isn’t broken; they’re the healthy one who’s been broken down. And the family’s claim to health is not psychological health at all, but successful moral dissociation.

Libriscent
@libriscent
a narcissist wants a relationship where they do whatever they want and you don’t complain. that level of delusion is wild

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Jan 4
Malignant narcissists thrive on attention. Particularly that of being a victim or a hero. This elevates their irrelevance in society up to quick relevance.
In order to do this, they must find someone to vilify and they must make themselves out to be a victim.
They will look for someone they can scapegoat best.
Who they can vilify.
Who they can twist things around and make to look like a bad guy.
This is their handicraft; their true profession. Once they’ve decided to scapegoat somebody, they‘ll take everything they can about this individual, even innocuous harmless behaviors, and make it look offensive. This is the process. 🧵
They’ll look for others they can manipulate into agreeing with them that this designated scapegoat is offensive or dangerous or absive. Some people will be hard to convince, other narcissists will see what the lead narcissist is up to and will be eager to join in on the scapegoating. The bandwagon effect begins. It becomes organized character assassination: the sacrifice of a scapegoat to satisfy the entitlement of a mob of pathological narcissists.

Debby
@BalogunAbass12
Don't react to shıtty people. Not giving them a reaction when they DESPERATELY seek it, is far more powerful! & they ALWAYS end up looking like a 🤡

Libriscent
@libriscent
People who genuinely like themselves are ruthless with access because solitude is not a punishment to them.

Wealth Director
@wealth_director
People never gossip about how you helped them.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Jan 4
One of the lesser-talked-about effects from spending years in survival mode, all of your energy is conditioned to activate when survival is at stake. You learn to function under threat, urgency, and fear—not desire, curiosity, or choice.
So when the abuse finally ends and you’re in a safe place, the nervous system doesn’t suddenly come back online. It often does the opposite.
You feel empty. Exhausted. Unmotivated.
Tasks that aren’t urgent or survival-linked don’t trigger energy release.
“Wanting” feels unimportant, not because you don’t care, but because wanting was unsafe or irrelevant for so long.

Now your system is relearning how to mobilize without the constant threat.
This isn’t laziness. It’s a predictable outcome of prolonged danger.
If this resonates, know this: your system kept you alive.
Show yourself some understanding — and respect.
You deserve it.

Workplace Mental Health Resources
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 4
Authentic individuals often irritate toxic people because their genuine nature and refusal to conform expose the insecurities and deceit of the latter. By prioritizing honesty and integrity, authentic individuals challenge the toxic person's facade and manipulation.

KABUGO
@Kabugo_
That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

Libriscent
@libriscent
Be cautious of people who get upset at your response to the harm they caused. They hurt you, you react, and then they make you the issue. That’s manipulation.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Just a reminder for every survivor who grew up being abused by narcissistic parents and are now living with trauma or CPTSD: please go easy on yourself. Everything is harder for you. You’re not lazy, you’re not a “procrastinator.” You are operating inside a storm of mental turbulence that most people don’t have to fight through. And we’ve been living in this storm for so long that we can forget that it’s still there. So remember that and be gentle with yourself. For what you’ve been through, for what you’re still living with, you are doing AMAZING 🙌 📷 📷🙂

𝕁.
@inkedupjayy
Some friendships expire the moment you stop being their therapist.

Debby
@BalogunAbass12
You don't need revenge. People who carry ugliness inside eventually collapse under the weight of their own behavior.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉
@Shadaya_Knight
People aren’t really checking up on you. They’re watching how you’re doing compared to them.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Narcissists don’t just project their flaws onto other people — they install them. This is projective identification, and it’s one of the most dangerous psychological tactics they use. 1. They can’t tolerate their own flaws Anything that threatens their inflated self-image — envy, deceit, insecurity, cruelty, malicious intent — is impossible for them to admit. So instead of facing it, they shove those traits into someone else. 2. They pick a target who can carry the projection Usually someone empathetic, self-reflective, or vulnerable. Someone who second-guesses themselves. Someone with a history of abuse trauma. Someone who already plays the “peacekeeper” role. 🧵
5. And then the narcissist attacks, devalues, or discards the target Because now, getting rid of you feels like getting rid of their own shame, fear, envy, or cruelty. This is why the narcissist’s rage can feel disproportionate: they’re not fighting you — they’re fighting the part of themselves they refuse to acknowledge. This is also why the abuse feels personal and targeted: because it is. 6. Why they do it Because the narcissist’s entire psychological survival depends on: avoiding shame avoiding self-awareness avoiding responsibility protecting their fantasy self-image They project those inner threats to an external target/person. Destroy the target = destroy the evidence.
7. The tragic result The victim walks away confused, traumatized, and loaded with psychological debris that never belonged to them. The narcissist walks away feeling “clean,” reset, and ready to repeat the cycle with someone new.

Workplace Mental Health Resources
@Stopworkplacebu
If your voice held no power they wouldn't try to silence you.

Camus
@newstart_2024
Ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro on dealing with narcissists:

They're so toxic they'll harm you physically, mentally, emotionally, physiologically, or financially.

Your body keeps the score — you'll pay a price just by staying close.

No pill fixes them. No loyalty. No changing them.

Get out as soon as you can.

50-sec clip — powerful warning

Elizabeth Shaw - Overcoming Narcissist Abuse.
@CoachElizabethS
They treat you badly because something is wrong within them, not you. Kind people don't go around destroying others.

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Abusive controlling types were studied at length in clinical settings by Dr. Lundy Bancroft, 99% did not change even after months/ years of intensive work.
Brain scans show an abuser’s brain is literally wired differently, they are incapable of feeling empathy.
I remember this when I wonder if the narcissistic abuser could have changed.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Hyper-consideration of others at your expense is not empathy—it’s conditioning from growing up with narcissist parents.

PHUTI SEMENYA®🇿🇦 ⚖️
@PhutiSemenya14
Jan 9
Abusive people are the nicest in public. They are so kind to everyone except the victims.

levityintx
@levityintx
Charlie Munger said it best, "Toxic people can hinder someone's path to success, he advised.
"The great lesson of life is get them the hell out of your life — and do it fast," Munger said of toxic people.

The_Narc_Decoder
@NarcDecoder
Narcissists don't want to resolve issues or conflict. They want to win, be right, and be in control. You can't reason with someone who doesn't listen, manipulates, has to be right, think they know it all, is entitled, rages and disrespects, uses fear, threats, bullying, and intimidation, devalues, needs to blame you for everything, is committed to misunderstanding you, and is emotionally immature.

-

“What the herd hates most is not so much the different opinion itself, but the audacity of the one who dares to think for themselves… something they themselves do not know how to do.”
- Arthur Schopenhauer

-

“I have led a toothless life. A toothless life. I have never bitten into anything. I was waiting. I was reserving myself for later on—and I have just noticed that my teeth have gone.”
— Jean-Paul Sartre

Workplace Mental Health Resources
@Stopworkplacebu
Authentic individuals can sense when someone is a hater no matter how hard they pretend.

KABUGO
@Kabugo_
A narcissist doesn’t destroy bad people... bad people fight back. They hunt the kind ones, the patient ones and those who still explain themselves.

Debby
@BalogunAbass12
We live among dangerous, jealous and evil people with a friendly face.

Camus
@newstart_2024
Dr. Ramani Durvasula unleashes truth on narcissistic abuse:
“I don't forgive them. I will never forgive them. They took away my safety. How the hell do you forgive that? I don't. And I sleep fine at night.”
Healing isn’t forced forgiveness — it’s becoming your authentic self, even if that self says “no forgiveness.”

The_Narc_Decoder
@NarcDecoder
If you expose a Narcissist. They'll attack you from every angle. Online, offline, anywhere they can reach. They'll try to silence you!
Narcissists thrive on control and fear. When their carefully constructed image is threatened, their instinct isn’t reflection, it’s retaliation. They’ll weaponize lies, manipulate situations, and turn allies against you. They want to make you question your reality, your courage.
But here’s the truth, their attacks don’t define you. Every smear, every plot, every attempt to intimidate is a testament to the power of the truth you dared to speak.
Stand firm. Document. Protect yourself.
Their chaos is a reflection of their own insecurity not a reflection of your strength.
You survived the deception.
Now survive the backlash and rise stronger than ever before.

Cindy☘️
@Indemosyd
Being smart is a curse.
You see the game, the lies, the patterns but you still have to play dumb to survive

Seán Ono Lennon
@seanonolennon
Too many people I know are getting black pilled. It’s hard to resist the darkness. Stay positive y’all.

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Call out a narcissist’s asshole behavior and watch how fast the conversation shifts. It’s no longer about what they did but about how you brought it up. Your tone and timing are the problem. Your feelings are the issue.
🚩Narcs do this to avoid accountability

Sheshn ▪︎ Men's Confidence Mentor
@sheshn94
This is why I don’t even bother with people who are like this.
Just notice, observe, and if I’m gonna communicate I just tell them my own boundaries.
If they argue my boundaries I simply leave

Matthew Coast
@MatthewCoast
People are allowed to delete you off social media, delete your number, and stop spending time with you. They don't owe you an explanation. If they don't like your energy anymore, you're toxic to them now, or you're affecting their mental health, they're allowed to cut you off. Period.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
I can forgive a mistake. I can’t forgive intentional evil. I just can’t

Workplace Mental Health Resources
@Stopworkplacebu
Smear campaigns don’t start because you’re wrong.
They start because you’re right.

Workplace Mental Health Resources
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 7
Being disliked by mean spirits is a blessing.

Claressa Gwoat Shields
@Claressashields
Jan 7
Please don’t ever trade your authenticity for approval. Let people dislike you.

KABUGO
@Kabugo_
Signs you’re feeding a parasite:
1. They call you selfish when you say “no”.
2. They disappear when you need help.
3. They sulk when you protect your privacy.

The_Narc_Decoder
@NarcDecoder
A narcissist doesn't just shatter your heart, they destroy your confidence, distort your reality, and make you believe you deserved the pain.
They bombard you with affection until you're hooked, then withdraw it leaving you desperate to fix what they broke. Their game. Make you addicted to their approval while they erode your self-worth.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Jan 9
The narcissist doesn’t hate you because you did something wrong or offensive. They hate you because you did something right and it threatens them.

Kharis
@kharis_micheal
Unfortunately there are no benefits to being a good person.

LawrenceDCodes
@LawrenceDCodes
Some of us are wired neurogically in such a way that a flood of dopamine and serotonin washes our brains upon the knowledge we've done something good for someone. That's worth it's weight in gold.

The Wily Survivor
@WilySurvivor
If you've found yourself drinking more around the narcissist, it isn't random. When your nervous system is constantly on edge, anything that brings temporary relief could start to feel necessary.

Godfroy
@g0dfr0y
Yep, those who are not awake, what we could call NPC's, allow for those types of things to happen....

LADE HERSELF
@Thebiglade
Remove that soft spot you got for people because they ain't got none for you

Ron Shillman
@shillman1
I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Narcissists actually think their ability to lie and manipulate makes them smart and skillful.
As if being “good” at being abusive is something to be proud of.
There’s a reason why the rest of us don’t engage in that sort of behavior…and it’s not because we’re stupid

Allie
@allie__voss
I’m begging people to go make friends
Stop setting so many arbitrary “boundaries,” stop discarding people and cutting them off for every difference of opinion or inconvenience, stop staying in, stop prioritizing yourself at the expense of your relationships, GO MAKE FRIENDS

HumanBeingAwkward
@humanbeingawk
one reason you may find yourself exiled from friend groups, a toxic family and even jobs is you naturally outshine the group leader due to being intelligent or attractive, talented, unique, kind, authentic. especially if you embody traits the group leader is pretending to have

Kanye’s Diary
@kanyesdiary2
DON'T overshare just because someone is being nice to you, you idiot.