March 1, 2024
Other people catalyze in you reactions. They generate them in you. Lacan said that the unconscious is an internalization of other people. In object relation theory everything is relational. Other people are critical,they control your inner space. When this triggering by other people becomes overwhelming we get autism. Autism is avoidance of others. And the avoidance of process of othering. Othering is recognition of existence of other people as external
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzrc_2pTX60
March 1, 2024
The autistic person is incapable of othering. Because he is overwhelmed with stimuli coming from other people. Autistic people avoid othering. Same applies to borderline PD people. Othering implies that other people are not you and can never be as you. You're reliant on yourself 100% to be you. When othering fails in narcissism, you are critically depended on other people in order to be you. Leads to repetition compulsion, can't see others as separate.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzrc_2pTX60
Mar 1
When you fail to other your self, when your self fails to develop, you end up without an ego. You internal structures are disrupted and chaotic, and disorganized –it's a failure of othering the self –it's pathology. When you fail to other people, when you don't regard them as separate or external, or not you – it's a pathology. Othering failures are pathologies. Possibly most severe. Psychosis is major othering failure. Fantasy is attempt to compensate.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzrc_2pTX60
March 1, 2024
People need to embrace their own nothingness because if you are something, you are outside God. God includes everything. To become a part, you must become a nothing to become a part of God. To heal God, you must mend the vessels. As the Kabbalah puts it, you must disappear in order to reappear as God. It's not that God inside you. It's that you are inside God. The relationship is reciprocal. Your mental illness is God's mental illness. God has to heal.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T7rprjz83Y
Mar 2
The law is black and white. But emotions are not. People are complicated. We pretend to be motivated by one thing, but when really it's much more personal. Sometimes when you get to the bottom of emotional conflict, the legal dispute takes care of itself.
🎞️ WILL & GRACE
Mar 2
Why did you have to do this? I've tattled this town into a paradise.
- You see Ned, your city-wide nagging compressed all of our town's mis-behavior into one small place. Creating a glittering diamond of super-evil.
🎞️ THE SIMPSONS
Mar 2
In Italian dubs, Moe has been renamed "Boe", because the voice actors thought "Moe" sounded too similar to the southern Italy slang "mo'", meaning "now".
https://doc.qanswer.ai/Moe-Szyslak.pdf
Mar 3
Can we dress now Ms Walker?
- Absolutely not. No.
🎞️ WILL & GRACE
Mar 3
It means your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one.
🎞️ Back to the Future Part III (1990)
Mar 3
🏉 Rugby Viadana 1970 - Valorugby Emilia
Mar 3
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 14a gior, 2024-03-02, 14-54-23, Rai Sport HD
Mar 4
There's a big caveat here that almost always gets missed in content regarding social anxiety disorder: someone can exhibit all the same symptoms listed for SAD, but if they are really autistic, then the treatments/therapy for SAD can do a lot more harm than good. For autistic people, fears associated with social situations are usually coming from a lifetime of failed attempts at socializing.
The fear isn't "irrational"; it comes from real, repeated trauma (CPTSD) —
Mar 6
We can feel what others feel. Therefore why would we want to hurt ourselves...
Mar 6
If I unintentionally cause a mortification to a narcissist, should I apologize to him/her?
- No contact.
Mar 6
Because narcissist impose a Shared Fantasy in all types of relationships, not only intimate but in friendships, workplace, church, army, whenever someone can serve narcissist as source of supply, the narcissist impose Shared Fantasy. In shared fantasy, he is god and you are worshipper. He is in control, you are coerced. So advice is: no contact. No Contact is set of 27 strategies that I designed in 1995 and it's still best advice there is.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNYYsbgSnso
Mar 6
Second advice is you cannot go no contact (you can't lose your job, can't move away), is gray rock. Gray rock means to render yourself uninteresting to the narcissist. A bad source of narcissistic supply because you're “stupid” or “incapable of curiosity”, not a worthy object to be owned. Don't draw attention to yourself, minimize yourself. Hide yourself. If you are forced to stay. My first advice is to disconnect, resign. Because it can end really bad.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNYYsbgSnso
Mar 6
If narcissists are mortified, narcissist can be narcissistically injured – it's when you challenge, undermine the grandiosity in some way – the self perception or self-image. You cause them discomfort by doing this. But they can also be mortified. Narcissistic mortification is if you shame the narcissist inadvertently even! In public. The narc is giving presentation but you raise hand and say "Sorry this slide is wrong". Mortification. You become enemy
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNYYsbgSnso
Mar 6
Well, narc doesn't have enemy (because of “omnipotence”) but you become something to be quashed and crashed. Destroyed forever and ever. He is going to pursue you for years, in all future careers. Are exceedingly vindictive when exposed to mortification. This is known as external solution of mortification. So when a narc is shamed or humiliated in public in front of audience that matter to him – he's going to ruin your life. Period. He focus on this
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNYYsbgSnso
Mar 6
New Scientist promotes narcissism in July 2016
"in this modern world it pays to be a bit narcissistic"
https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg231
Mar 6
The Simpsons, the Ireland episode
Mar 6
The Simpsons, the Ireland episode 🇮🇪
Mar 6
Le petit baigneur (1968) 🇫🇷
Mar 6
Linda Evans in 'The Rockford Files'
Mar 6
🇮🇪 Ireland
Mar 7
Where this goes wrong is if somebody crosses or betrays the INFJ. And sadly people often do this to us because we're unassuming and we're pretty kind people. This makes some people think they can lash out at us and take out their bitterness on us. It makes them think that they can boss us around. Well if this happens enough times or badly enough, the INFJ can turn the tables on that person and use their weaknesses against them.
🟥 The INFJ Circle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sOOvu1qt3Y
Mar 7
The cause is hidden. The effect is visible to all.
— Ovid
Mar 8
Mar 9
If you're doing great things for God, you don't have time or energy for molehills.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wdv7NRX05s
Mar 9
You need to be brutally honest, Steffy. Don't just tell me what you think I want to hear.
🎞️ Bold and the Beautiful - 2021 (S34 E82) FULL EPISODE 8442
Mar 9
I never meant to hurt anyone, I just wanted to be loved.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
Mar 9
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-09, 15-27-11, France 2
🇮🇹 - 🏴
Mar 9
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations U20, 2024-03-07, 21-13-33, L'Equipe
🏴 - 🇫🇷
Mar 9
🏉 Sei Nazioni, 2024-03-09, 16-18-09, Cielo
🇮🇹 - 🏴
Mar 9
Mar 9
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-09, 17-46-00, France 2
🏴 - 🇮🇪
Mar 9
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-09, 18-44-20, France 2
🏴 - 🇮🇪
Mar 9
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-09, 18-44-20, France 2
🏴 - 🇮🇪
Mar 10
How many of us are hiding? Because of things we've gone through, hiding our potential. Hiding our personality, hiding our smile. You have so much to offer but the way many people handle hurts, failures and disappointments is to isolate. To disengage. Turn their feelings off. Push down any emotions. Not pursuing any dreams. They show up at work but they're not really there. They have great ideas but they never share them. Defense mode, not participate, hiding
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
God can't heal what's hidden. He's asking you to come out. To get back, engage. But he is not going to force you. You have to make that choice to come out of isolation. Come out of fear. Come out of shame. Come out of regrets and get back in the game. That part that you've lost, can I encourage you, it's looking for you right now. The joy, talent, the favor, the confidence, is knocking on your door. The creative You. The outgoing you, compassionate you.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
People can't make you feel inferior unless you give them permission. They don't determine your worth and value. What they say, how they treat you – doesn't change what God made you to be. Now quit giving them permission.
I dealt with it they way many of us do: went into hiding, I wasn't outgoing. I shrink back, unsure of myself, wonder what people would think. Letting someone else determine value.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
I had to make that decision to come out of hiding. To not worry what other people think. To not let disappointments take my passion. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be up here today. Is there some area that you need to come out of hiding? You've let what didn't work, what someone said, how you were raised cause you to shrink back? Unplug? Now we're not seeing the best of you.
Maybe you've let disappointment, or a mistake cause you to hide your personality.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
The enemy will whisper his lies, trying to deceive us into hiding. “You're not talented enough”, “You've made too many mistakes”, “You'll never be successful”, “You come from wrong family”. You need to ask yourself where are these thoughts are coming from? If they're negative, discouraging, pushing you down, making you feel unworthy, you can be certain they are not from God. Let them in one ear,out another.
People don't determine our value. Not negative chat
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
You have to do your part: come out of hiding. Come out of shame. Come out of guilt. And get back in the game. We need you. Your family needs you fully engaged. Healthy and whole. Your friends need you. Not the partial you. But the full you. The outgoing you. The loving you. The friendly you. Who told you that you will never be happy again? That disappointment ruined your future? The enemy wouldn't tell you that if he'd knew this wasn't going to happen.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
When you go through hurts, mistreatment, bad breaks, there's this natural tendency to isolate. Disengage and become angry. We put up these defenses and think, this is just who I am. I'm bitter because of bad childhood, I'm angry because company did me wrong. I've given up on my dream because I made so many bad decisions. There's so much more in you. You just let that defense mechanism cause you to isolate. Thinking it's the way to deal with it. Where are you
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRFr20Aqqo
Mar 10
No one ever erected a statue to a critic.
🟦 Werner Erhard
Mar 10
When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
🟦 Margaret Drabble
Mar 10
This sounds like commercial for Duolingo:
Mar 10
Stop proving that you were ok.
🟦 Werner Erhard
Mar 10
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-10, 16-11-50, France 2
🏴 - 🇫🇷
Mar 10
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-10, 16-11-50, France 2
🏴 - 🇫🇷
Mar 10
"It's nothing to be alarmed about" scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVyzTAbNXls
Mar 11
A lot of problems that people have in social realm is they're not practical. If you're thinking in terms of what you really want it changes the whole game. If you want somebody to do your bidding, to help you, to finance your film whatever, if you come at from this is what I deserve, please give me this, I'm so brilliant, it has no effect. But if you think in terms of how they think the stories the wanna hear, interest them, the game changes. You have the power to influence them.
🟦 Robert Greene
Mar 11
I've spoken to different psychologist and psychiatrists who do not believe in generalized anxiety disorder or social anxiety disorder. And they think it's a function of your unmanaged ADHD or trauma. Social anxiety should be social anxiety whenever you're in a social situation but you're saying that when you can be yourself you don't have that social anxiety.
🟥 Social or Situational Anxiety?
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8eDSDoagrfs
Mar 11
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito at Oscars 2024 and Michael Keaton
Mar 11
🇩🇪 Drug related deaths in Germany
Mar 11
🇫🇷 Brittany/Bretagne
Mar 11
Mar 11
The way you're leading your life now, hiding, living for your father, making comments about people who have done nothing but being who they are, doesn't sound exactly heroic to me.
🎞️ WILL & GRACE
Mar 12
When a narcissistic person seeks someone it's because it works for them. And that means supply and often status. So if you were doing well – that made you quite attractive to them. What happens to our self-esteem once we are in narcissistic relationship is an entirely different story though. Folks with lower self esteem may be more prone to getting stuck in these relationships. Devaluation, invalidation, self blame are more automatic.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjSMCTd6L40
Mar 12
You healthy self-esteem would represent a threat in this relationship. And we get indoctrinated into silencing ourselves. So we never leave narcissistic people. Feeling small, as if we're competition. When we get out of relationship our self-esteem can restore. The more stable and accurate our self-esteem was to begin with, the smoother the process of healing. Self-esteem is not about thinking yourself as great. It is about seeing yourself accurately.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjSMCTd6L40
Mar 12
The appearance that the cult leader has – everything they're doing is to armor against the shame inside, the grandiosity, the clothing, the lifestyle it's all just to protect against any of that ever getting revealed. And God forbid it gets revealed. Because then you as the cult member you're f*cked. If you expose it in some way, they're coming after you.
- There's subset of narcissism – compensatory. Make up for shame that they feel.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuoCLh9lo5o
Mar 12
People never change. They just get better in hiding who they are.
🎞️ Fantasy Island (2020)
Mar 13
There's no point in ever pressuring somebody who has terrible behavior. He has shown you time and time again through his behavior who he is – so all the psychologizing in the world about ADHD, CPTSD, “take responsibility”, watch these videos – that's your mind playing tricks on you that somehow you can get control over this terrible situation. It's very unlikely you can force somebody to change.
🟥 Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syWJHEvTCS8
Mar 13
If you were raised by a toxic parent, you may be anxious, hypersensitive and distrustful of other people. You may isolate yourself. You may choose to be alone. And people may assume that you’re arrogant or that you think you’re better than them. But you’re just trying to avoid the toxicity. Because when you were raised in this type of environment and you become aware of it, you begin to see it everywhere. And you feel like there’s nowhere to go but within yourself.
Mar 13
I don't have to defend myself. I don't have to beg them to hear me. When clients begin to become aware of how their childhoods have impacted them, they often struggle with the need, belief or feeling that they should tell their parents what they think and know. You can't make someone acknowledge how they harmed you. How their words affected you, their inability to love in consistent way allowed to believe that the world is safe.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ0Rf5Gk_b4
Mar 13
Mar 14
Mar 15
When we were regularly told maybe we're told to stop running because it makes dad mad, or when we're crying we're told that we're being too much, we end up internalizing a belief that we're responsible for someone else's emotions. For how they feel. For what they think. We end up learning that our joy can upset other people, or that our crying and emotions are undesirable. So we start to disconnect from ourselves.
🟥 The Holistic Psychologist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NkixrTO3TU
Mar 15
We end up becoming more attentive or hypervigilant to the people around us. We're always worrying about if we're upsetting someone. Some of us even end up going into a caretaker role. Where we're always on the lookout for something anyone else could want or need, and in the same time we're neglecting ourselves. We become adult who doesn't know and value oneself. We end up over-relying on other people to feel good about ourselves. Codependency.
🟥 The Holistic Psychologist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NkixrTO3TU
Mar 15
Although often overlooked, sensitivity to emotions is one of the most common symptoms of high functioning autism. These individuals can function in day-to-day life but struggle to control their emotions the same way that neurotypical, or non-autistic people, are able to do. For example, a frustrating morning experience like running out of milk or being cut off while driving can cause irritability and difficulty concentrating for the rest of the day.
https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisprogram
Mar 15
So called "mild" autism doesn't mean one experiences autism mildly. It means you experience their autism mildly. You may not know how hard they've worked to get to the level they are.
(adam walton)
Mar 15
most NT people classify or describe someone's autism is based on how it effects or impacts THEM, not how it effects the autistic person. People are aware of my ADHD/autism, but they still can't seem to understand why I struggle as much as I do, because to them, it SEEMS like it shouldn't effect me as much as it does. Then it becomes a character flaw to them...
Mar 15
It sounds as though high-functioning means your challenges are less. What it really means is whatever struggle I'm going through, you can't see them. Putting in a huge amount of effort behind the scenes to appear to be doing really well. The key here is the amount of effort that it takes to do really well. All of these times we've been pushing ourselves to our absolute limit, behind the scenes where you can't see it.
🟥 Autism From The Inside
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIdJ-IVNc_g
Mar 15
Neurodiversity is a concept, it was developed by a social worker and an autism advocate named Judy Singer. She talked about it as an allegory with biodiversity. So in any healthy ecosystem we need to have a huge diversity of plants and animals and species to make that ecosystem work well. As humans, the concept of neurodiversity is the same so that autistic ADHD people, are part of same community rather than there is a norm.
🟥 PBS Vitals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rxzC4OBaOs
Mar 15
High-functioning are very rigid. They're very structure and order oriented. They make lists. Go through robotic routines. They're very predictable, machine-like. They have repetitive and restrictive habits. And very often people find them very odd because they're very compulsive and insistent on these habits, procedures, routines. They're devoted to them. And they become very dysregulated, very anxious if they can't carry out these routines.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GjuAdqi1nA
Mar 16
Autism spectrum disorders are very often misdiagnosed as personality disorders. NPD should never be diagnosed before the end of adolescence and early young adulthood. Pathological narcissism is not pathological when it occurs in children and in adolescence. Narcissism generally is very healthy in these two phases of separation and individuation when we acquire identity, when we differentiate roles, when we learn to be what we later become.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV9yVbe5iFo
Mar 16
Learning to become, taking on the world, exploring our environment, assuming risks –these requires grandiosity –it requires narcissism. Healthy narcissism underlies a regulated sense of self-esteem, self-confidence and a sense of self-worth. But Asperger's and other autistic spectrum disorders can safely be diagnosed even at the age of 3. The Asperger's disorder patient is self-centered exactly like narcissist. Patient is like imitating and not behaving
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV9yVbe5iFo
Mar 16
The narcissist switches between social agility/gregariousness and social impairment/schizoid mode. And these switches are voluntary. They're utterly controllable. They are choices. Also defiance, reactants, anti-social behavior are choices. Everything that narcissist does are choices. His social dysfunction is outcome of conscious deliberate premediated haughtiness and and reluctance to invest mental energy in cultivating relationships with inferior others
🟥 P. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV9yVbe5iFo
Mar 16
Everyone is inferior to narcissist. Not worthy of his cosmically precious time and resources. It's not the case with autistic patient. When the narcissist is confronted with potential sources of narcissistic supply (attention, adulation, admiration) the narcissist easily switches, regains his social skills. He becomes charming. He becomes sociable. He suddenly loves people. He suddenly love bombs them, grooms, tries to convert to long term supply.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV9yVbe5iFo
Mar 16
The narcissist can choose to be pro-social and communal. The autistic patient cannot. Never mind how hard he wish he could, he cannot. Many narcissist reach highest ranks of their community, they become pillars of community, chief executive officers of Fortune 500 companies. They head voluntary organizations, they become famous actors, politicians, they make it. They are very adept at social game. Extortion of supply puts end to his career.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV9yVbe5iFo
Mar 16
As an autistic person, I've learned recently that the ways I express empathy can sometimes be misconstrued as narcissistic. For example, when someone is telling me about a hard time they're going through, and I've experienced something similar, I'll tell them about my own experience. I've learned that this can be seen as narcissistically trying to shift focus onto myself, but in my mind, its empathetic because I'm trying to comfort them
Mar 16
some autistic have hyper-empathy
Mar 16
They are not indifferent in knowing that they harmed someone when they are told about it. In fact individuals with autism spectrum disorder may often be quite genuinely remorseful and sad at learning that they may have caused harm to another person through their words or straightforwardness. Giving such feedback will check in and apologize and try to learn better. Person with narcissism will minimize, dismiss and be contemptuous.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEDda93M_mg
Mar 16
You create the world of the dream. We bring the subject into that dream, and they fill it with their subconscious.
Well, dreams, they feel real while we're in them, right? It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange. You never really remember the beginning of a dream, do you? You always wind up right in the middle of what's going on.
🎞️ Inception (2010)
Mar 16
You can literally talk to my subconscious. That's one of the ways we extract information from the subject.
- How else do you do it?
- By creating something secure, like a bank vault or a jail. The mind automatically fills it with information it's trying to protect.
🎞️ Inception (2010)
Mar 16
Why are they all looking at me?
- Because my subconscious feels that someone else is creating this world. The more you change things, the quicker the projections start to converge on you. They sense the foreign nature of the dreamer. They attack, like white blood cells fighting an infection.
🎞️ Inception (2010)
Mar 16
Hope at Fashion Show
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
Mar 16
Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones.
Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.
As a result, an argument about the smallest of issues can escalate quickly/fiercely.
they will use everything in their power to make you feel insignificant and small.
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-sto
Mar 16
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations U20, 2024-03-15, 21-03-44, L'Equipe
🇫🇷 - 🏴
Mar 17
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-16, 15-56-37, France 2
🏴 - 🇮🇹
Mar 17
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-16, 15-56-37, France 2
🏴 - 🇮🇹
Mar 17
Let's say a person who works in a toxic workplace environment is harassed, demeaned, diminished, demoted or maybe even fired, I'm amazed how many people who have endured harassment of some form in the workplace actually feel ashamed. They weren't the perpetrator. This was something that was done to them. Shame is something within themselves that is imprisoning them. It comes from legacy issues of narcissistic family. Carry that identity of being damaged
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTyIOO6czJU
May 17
Coming from dysfunctional family does not make you damaged. That is simply a part of story. But if you carry that identity that you are somehow shameful or damaged the choices you make in your life are going to be in line with that identity. Your narcissistic family has already harmed you enough. Don't let them keep harming you by holding on to the identities they've put on you of you being less than.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTyIOO6czJU
May 17
🇮🇪 Ireland
Mar 17
🇮🇪 Ireland
Mar 17
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-16, 18-41-59, France 2
🇮🇪 - 🏴
Mar 17
🏉 Rugby - Tournoi des Six Nations, 2024-03-16, 18-41-59, France 2
🇮🇪 - 🏴
Mar 17
🏉 XV-15, 2024-03-16, 20-29-20, France 2
🇫🇷 - 🏴
Mar 17
You don't have to allow what is outside to get inside. Just because you are surrounded by situations that should be frustrating, they talk about me I should be offended – don't let storm get in you. If you are controlled by your circumstances, life is going to be rollercoaster. When you are at peace, you are at position of power. There is rest. All that time you spend worrying you are draining your energy.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJECPBhl8yA
Mar 17
☘️ La fête de la Saint-Patrick et de la Bretagne au Dôme de Paris
Mar 17
As long as you are pleasant, kind, and courteous you've done nothing wrong.
🟥 The INFJ Circle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AcdeINWS64
Mar 17
Mentalization goes with the assumption of intentionality. That is very confusing to many victims of narcissistic abuse because we observe narcissist behaving or psychopath or borderline. We try to mentalize the narcissist, try to understand. We try to make constructive theory as to what made borderline do what she did. But these theories fall flat. Because we can't really penetrate minds of narcissists, psychopaths and borderlines. So there is gap.
🟥 Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIefBSuvAGw
Mar 17
In a dying culture, narcissism appears to embody - in the guise of personal "growth" and "awareness" - the highest attainment of spiritual enlightenment. The custodians of culture hope, at bottom, merely to survive its collapse.
🟦 Christopher Lasch
Mar 18
I don’t think social anxiety is regression. On the contrary, it’s progression in being more aware of our surroundings, of other people’s thoughts and looking at us, of being judged, the possibility of being touched or talked to, etc.
It’s very normal for social anxiety to progressively get worse from toddlerhood through puberty.
Mar 18
Righteousness turns to the one who in life is guided by Good Thought and Self-Dominance. It is in the radiance of these forces that he can redesign and cause this oppressed world to flourish.
🔥 Gathas of Zarathustra 15:3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynZiSR6Wv0U
Mar 18
The deceitful hurt us with their evil, but they know they may also be hurt.
They have nothing for people other than destruction and waste. That is why they flee Good Thought and reject your doctrine with hostility.
🔥 Gathas of Zarathustra 7:8
Mar 18
In order to achieve the ultimate goal of a long life, in harmony with Good Thought, I shall call upon my Inner Voice, the “Seraosha” (Holy Spirit), which is the best of all voices for support. ...and I will firmly step on the solid path of Righteousness, to reach Your abode of commandment, O Ahura Mazda (Lord God).
🔥 Gathas of Zarathustra 6:5
Mar 18
George Orwell's contention was that it is a sure sign of trouble when things can no longer be called by their right names and described in plain, forthright speech.
🟦 Christopher Lasch
Mar 18
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 15a gior, 2024-03-17, 16-08-54, Rai Sport HD
Mar 18
🏉 Valorugby Emilia 31 - 13 Rangers Vicenza,
Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 15a gior, 2024-03-17, 16-08-54, Rai Sport HD
Mar 19
🇮🇪 river Shannon
Mar 20
I ain't no gunman. I couldn't kill anybody.
- I know that cowboy. You've just trying to impress the lady.
🎞️ Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)
Mar 20
It's not your fault Katie. It's not my fault, it's not anybody's fault. It's just the way cards fold.
🎞️ Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)
Mar 20
I'd give up anything. I'd go anywhere for you. But you got to meet me half way.
🎞️ Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)
Mar 20
Objects is fancy word for other people. If we do not have a strong sense of object constancy we begin to irrationally question the reality of our relationship to that object in its absence. It's about what they form perceptually in their minds when you're not there. Not what we form together, architecture, structure of this relationship together, all goes away when you're not there. When hands are not there and I can't see them, clinginess.
🟥 Object Constancy Theory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WchjRvw6iUI
Mar 20
🇹🇷 The Piri Reis map is a world map compiled in 1513 by the Ottoman admiral and cartographer Piri Reis.
Mar 20
🇫🇷 Oronce Fine maps
Mar 20
🎞️ Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017)
Mar 21
people who are victims of narcissistic abuse will end up in therapy being diagnosed with all sorts of dehumanizing diagnosis - while the perpetrators of coercive control and abuse are left alone.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide
Mar 21
We're only going to feel negative emotions if people have a reaction towards that we agree on some level. “Why are you not blonde?” If it is something that I don't have a judgement about at all, blonde being better, I don't have reaction towards that. If someone says and I don't have problem with that, I'm not going to care. More so, I am not going to think about what that person thinks in that instance.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utPF3201_cA
Mar 21
We feel the judgement, we feel the abandonment, we feel the rejection when there's part of us that believes that, as well. On a subconscious level we've been taught, conditioned, conditioned ourselves to feel like we're inadequate. If you feel if you express yourself people are going to see you and say you're weird, it's because deep down we believe that we are weird. Go out and allow to be seen. Not looking for external praise, I am not special
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utPF3201_cA
Mar 21
You actually get to a place where you say, I wanna get to place where I don't feel that external judgement. And I also am not looking for external praise. Get to place I am worthy no matter what I say, no matter what I do. You'll see how much of those things that you might've been ashamed of, are actually part of what makes you so great and what you like about yourself. Independent of what other people might think about it.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utPF3201_cA
Mar 21
Take back control how we feel about ourselves. If you subconsciously believe that you can't be yourself, because that is unacceptable, you're going to surround yourself with people who believe the same thing, who wouldn't accept you for you being yourself. There will be a shift in dynamic because you are going to show up as a different person, and connect in different way. Fear of abandonment, judgement, rejection always held you back.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utPF3201_cA
Mar 21
Learn more about who you are, and you become more of who you are, and you continue to do things that make you excited about being you – you get to show up as yourself and say, if anybody around me wants to connect with me, then only while I'm being myself. And that is the necessary ingredient in order to feel connected. If we don't dare to be seen because we believe there is unlovable part we're never get to place other see real you.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utPF3201_cA
Mar 21
Linear Perspective: Brunelleschi's Experiment translate the volumetric world that we move through, through time, one a frozen two-dimensional surface is really an extraordinary achievement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkNMM8uiMww
Mar 22
A big thing for me was actually realizing my family dynamic was not normal and to learn to regulate my nervous system on my own and move on.
Mar 22
Like Charlie Brown cartoon: she puts football down, he runs to kick it and she pulls it back every time. The narcissistic parent will end up doing that as well. They'll set the ball down, let's have a good time, & as soon you get there they pull it back. And then give you some criticism, doubting you, doubting your reality, shaming, guilting, and this causes lots of problems it keeps us hanging on. We want acceptance, them apologizing. That is not conditional
🟥 Jerry Wise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GFepbkhil4
Mar 22
“I think you are stupid”. - And your point is? So what! You think I'm stupid. How does that change the world? You come to that belief or maybe you haven't even come to that belief but you're going to use that phrase to try trick and dirty-trick me back into being enmeshed with you. Because now I'm going to be upset. If I can upset you, I can capture you. And I can enmesh with you. We already are enmeshed. It does not matter to me your inner dialogue.
🟥 Jerry Wise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GFepbkhil4
Mar 22
I'm going to stay out of your inner dialogue- Their feelings and their actions. Detach from those. Stay out of their emotional process. Because we get into their emotional process then we're all churning up inside here with them. If you want today not to be upset by them at all, I'd give you magic pill, magic wand, what would be downside? Would you have relationship with them? For some bad is better due to abandonment fears. Or hope for change.
🟥 Jerry Wise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GFepbkhil4
Mar 22
No contact – this is not to be used as some type of tool or weapon that's abuse. The relationship is over. Closure – we feel responsible for them and we need closure to know why relationship is over. If not, we will think it's us. Like child that doesn't understand divorce and internalizes it and says it's me. It's good with obsessive unstable people like this to make it clear. Never contact me again. They will threaten you.
🟥 NO CONTACT With the Borderline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okvvBcqBhVk
Mar 22
You want to help borderline – reject them. It's just like drug addict. Will not stop with everybody being sweet and nice and give everything they need. We make biggest changes in our life due to fear of loss. I'm about to lose everything – okay I'll quit. If borderlines are going to get help and they can, they're not going to do with you holding their hand and giving them everything they need. They go to lose some.
🟥 NO CONTACT With the Borderline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okvvBcqBhVk
Mar 22
🏴 Scotland
Mar 23
When you're connected to God's wisdom you look like dummy to everybody else.
Go before you're prepared. Once you have a plan, once you have a vision – act. Do. Go. You got many opportunities, you don't have a lot of time. When you win, you learn nothing. Keep losing.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kp2GBEzqcsk
Mar 23
🇮🇪 Irischer Kompass: Grüner Süden
Mar 23
🇮🇪 Copper Coast
Mar 24
When I dared point out BP behaviors, I’m a gaslighter. When I restrained her from punching me in the face, I’m the abuser. With professional help, I’ve escaped the BP blender and things make sense again.
Mar 24
When they get into rages, if they're around people who believe whatever they're raging about, it can be really bad for the non-personality disordered people around them.
Mar 24
Don't allow somebody to decide who you are. Everyone's equal in this world and we're all worthy of what we need, and want. If you don't believe so, you aren't going to find it and you can't wait for somebody else to come along and make you feel worthy of it. That's not how it works. Nobody can. Only you can decide that. We have to start by getting rid of people like this in our life and learning how to protect ourselves.
🟥 How The Borderline's Accusations Will Destroy You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iMFm-JB_l4
Mar 24
You cannot have healthy relationship with a narcissist. And forgiving them or trying to get closure from them is not going to help you. Don't involve them in your healing.
🟥 Why Forgiving a Narcissist Will Backfire On You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6GsU2JNEMA
Mar 24
" the art of knowing is knowing what to ignore"
-Rumi
Mar 24
“What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. You will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-reliance.
Accept that wherever you're visible, people will trying to take you down. We're affected by insults and negative opinions because we care about what people think of us. Ignoring people is often the wisest course of action, as it takes the least energy.
🟥 Einzelgänger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY17HIE5fSM
Mar 25
The daily facade of perfection on social media, amplifies her social anxiety, pushing her to be an idealized version of herself. Negative thoughts loomed over my mind until I realized that no one cared but me. Unlike shyness, social anxiety interferes with an individual's ability to perform daily chores or make conversation. Art and dance were healthy way to displace my anxiety. You define your own worth and no one else.
🟥 TEDx Talks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t7W3_4T9so
Mar 25
I had no idea what healthy relationship was. I'm talking between people, not significant other. With social anxiety you have two perspectives to recognize within yourself. 1) you see relationships as transactional. 2) you see people as unpredictable, temporary and even dangerous.
🟥taeedthespirit999
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/phubt2_-JWo
Mar 25
Transactional relationship – you see people as having some sort of value and something that you can gain from them. And what that does is you put certain people on a pedestal. And when you put people on pedestal it makes you try to compensate. So you think you need to offer as much value as you see that person holding, in your mind. That's why when you see someone cool – you can't be yourself. You don't see yourself worthy enough to interact.
🟥 Taeed the Spirit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWJrkF0JGoQ
Mar 25
Social interaction is not suppose to be performance. It's suppose to be something you enjoy. Forget about the other person even enjoying it. It should just be something you enjoy. If your focus is that it's something you enjoy, the other person will most likely enjoy it as well. You feel like you need to walk on egg-shelves. Person may leave you, blow up on you, or take some sort of revenge.
🟥 Taeed the Spirit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWJrkF0JGoQ
Mar 25
You think people talk to you because you're giving them something that they can take from me. You're giving them something they find the value. So as soon you think you're no longer providing that value, or they find that value from something or somebody else – they'll leave you. And you think people can't handle their own emotions. You think you need to provide them positive moods and good experiences, controlling their experience.
🟥 Taeed the Spirit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWJrkF0JGoQ
Mar 25
You are in a way controlling their experience. You wanna make sure their experience is where they cannot come back and retaliate and hurt you. You think someone is in a bad mood or is having bad experience they'll take that out on you. Or you'll have to reap some kind of consequence from that from their bad experience.
Anxious attachment style - constantly check with people.
🟥 Taeed the Spirit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWJrkF0JGoQ
Mar 25
You feel this way for rational reasons. I never viewed it as an anxiety disorder. My friend started to view it as an anxiety disorder and he got f*ing panic attacks. I never got panic attacks. Cuz I never viewed panic attack as problem. I didn't even think about it. You wait, and it goes. You can't get addicted to something if you don't learn about it cuz you just move on.
🟥 Jay - Quit PMO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASKQdw8qw5M
Mar 25
🏉 Rovigo - Petrarca Padova, 2024-03-24, 15-57-59, Rai 2 HD
Mar 25
🏉 Rovigo - Petrarca Padova, 2024-03-24, 15-57-59, Rai 2 HD
Mar 25
🏉 Rovigo - Petrarca Padova, 2024-03-24, 15-57-59, Rai 2 HD
Mar 25
🇮🇹 Movie Land, su Lago di Garda
https://lakegardatravel.net/movieland-
Mar 26
Guy calling you beta male, I don't know if he thinks he's alpha male, but that's not what alpha males do. I suspect people that call themselves alpha males and they have to let you know that they're an alpha and I have to call you beta male that sounds like a little insecure person.
🟥 DeMars Coaching
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VM5HTk8mlM
Mar 16
Because we're leading with authenticity, we are more likely to be finding compatible partners who are also sharing. This does not mean that this process does not take time, easy – but process will not be contaminated. As insecure, we learned authenticity is not to get the way our needs met. Our authentic was rejected. Some part of our identity becomes something to hide or obscure. This leads to development of false Self, social mask to get acceptance.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY
Mar 26
Insecure attaching style – we are navigating the world in some way using an unconscious strategy to get connection. Rather than using unfiltered authenticity to get connection. Insecure – the way to make people like us. Anxious: hyper-fixating on what the other person wants from you and mold yourself into the kind of person that you think they would like. Avoidant: focusing how to stay self-sufficient and independent. All this happens on unconscious level.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY
Mar 26
When we are insecurely attached we necessarily have unmet developmental needs. Those needs are unconsciously driving us when it comes to partner choices. So if I feel at my core like I am not that competent or capable of navigating the world on my own, I'm going to be unconsciously searching first and foremost for a partner who seems incredibly competent and skilled. Enough so that they completely take care of me.
Or searching for partner who over-emotes.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY
Mar 26
Insecurely attached people look for the inauthenticity that feels familiar to them. And securely attached people look for the authentic intimate connection that feels familiar to them. Person who were were before shame and conditioning took over personality. What would become incredibly important to me if i knew for sure entire rest of my life would be focused only on me? That genuinely excite authentic version of me.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY
Mar 26
Imagine a different universe, where exactly who you are is the most societally celebrated and coveted type of person. Completely and universally accepted, loved and celebrated who would that version of you look like and how would they show up in the world? And what types of rooms would they put themselves in, and what types of conversations would they have. In world where no part of you was shame bound.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY
Mar 26
If you do really struggle with using relationships as a means of fulfilling your needs- ask yourself, if all of my needs were met, if I were to develop in securely attached person, then who would I want in my life solely because I would enjoy being around them. So instead of what are my deficits and how can I balance them out interpersonally who would I enjoy being around solely because I like them?
Picture sitting at porch with them at old age, talk with.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY
Mar 26
Pear tree in bloom.
Mar 26
Stop I don't need to hear this. You can't keep doing this to yourself. This is not atonement. This is punishment.
🎞️ NCIS: Los Angeles
Mar 27
You can always tell when a neurotypical isn't OK because they always want to make it your problem.
Mar 27
Worry about yourself. Why are you being so judgmental of another person's behavior? If you don't like them & if you don't like the way they interact, then stop going out for meals with them. If you feel like you have to train all of your friends, dog training, to get friends behave in the way you want, that's a bit weird and controlling.
"Even if eye contact is uncomfortable for you I'd like you to do it because it makes me feel more comfortable"
🟥 I'm Autistic, Now What?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Q8SN0QUfk
Mar 27
Fawners fear to be called or characterized as difficult. Being called as
difficult carries with it a massive opportunity cost – to lose
attachments, relationships and connections and relationships and love,
it is being abandoned. Catch22 – fawners feel shamed for fawning, there
is no winning – if you stand up for yourself you are labeled as
difficult, if you fawn, you feel shame. Those indoctrinated we make
everyone life easier.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xZvHkZdAeE
Mar 27
When I told my friend I was having the repeated experience of being told I was difficult for making some asks about book promotion –she said to me basically –own it. I'm not sure I'll always be able to be seen as difficult, for accommodators who finally stretch who ask for what you need, and get shut down as difficult, remember maybe this is how narcissistic people get sh$t done. Real truth: it's easier to shut you down rather than do things you ask of them
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xZvHkZdAeE
Mar 27
🇫🇷 The Château de Chenonceau
Mar 28
There is something you have never understood, Joe. These people at the top, they are the same as anybody else. But you had it inside of you to be so much bigger than any of them. You just had to be yourself. That was all. With me you were yourself. Only with me.
🎞️ Room at the Top (1958)
Mar 29
Mental illness differs from physical illness because it lies to you. What anxiety, depression, eating disorders, psychosis all have in common is that they lie to you, they tell you you’re a freak, that you’re alone and no one
is going to understand what you’re going through. They thrive in isolation. It’s only by realising that [you’re unwell] that you can start on the road to recovery.
⬜ Bryony Gordon
Mar 29
The people who abuse and the people who ignore the abuse are THE SAME!!!!!
Mar 29
Narcissists and narc parents are rejectors, not accepters. They are always out to reject because they can't accept you, because that will create difficulties with shame within them. And they can't handle that. So they must be superior, they must be in control. And so they will not accept you. They will reject you because they cannot accept other people just the way they are.
🟥 The shocking truth about your abandonment issues
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ts_8i92bC1g
Mar 29
They always always always have to find SOMETHING wrong with you. Flaws about yourself that you never knew existed all for their own benefit. It’s sick.
Mar 29
Pathological narcissists have this personality disorder that prevents them from understanding what's wrong with them, and they compensate by seeing all the bad that they can't accept in themselves, seeing it in others. That's called projection. And if they can render you in their mind as sub-human they have all the reason, all the rationale, all the excuses to be really terrible to you. They justify it because they think you're sub-human.
🟥 Ross Rosenberg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTyjoVWtF8s
Mar 29
The clocks go forward one hour at 1 am on Saturday night (UK)
Mar 30
The only way to beat fear in your life is to face it. This is the only way is to face it. You can't think your way out of fear. You can't therapy your way out of fear. You can't drink your way out of fear. You can't sleep your way out of fear. You can't wait your way out of fear and you can't navigate around it. All you can do is to lean into the knife. Go in the direction that scares you because that thing stands in the way of your destiny.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCXn2Gunsfl
Mar 30
🎵 Purple Disco Machine
Mar 30
Marge, there is empty spot I always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service but those were the dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.
🎞️ THE SIMPSONS
Mar 30
🇮🇪 By train through Ireland
Mar 30
🇮🇪 Mit dem Zug durch Irland
Mar 30
🇮🇪 Un billet de train pour l'Irlande
Mar 31
The enemy is not really after your dreams, health, finances. What he is really after is your joy. He knows if you don't have joy, you're going to be weak. You'll be easy prey. If he's keep you discouraged, overwhelmed by pressure, upset about who did you wrong, burdened down by medical report, you'd never smile, you'd never have any passion, everything is heavy – then he'll be able to defeat you in any area.
If you get your joy back, strength will come.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf9DBboXRk8
Mar 31
Don't go through day negative, bitter, complaining. Nothing that happens to you can stop you from destiny. The trouble, the adversity, the disappointment, it's all a test. That's the enemy trying to deceive you into being discouraged. Mourning. Going around with the defeated mentality. If you get your joy back, you get your strength back. If you be of good cheer in the midst of difficulty, that's your faith at work.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf9DBboXRk8
Mar 31
No person can take your joy. No bad break, no disappointment, no storm, no calamity. Nothing can take it – you have to give it away. It's your choice. You're in charge of your joy. You need it for your destiny, to accomplish your dreams. It's designed to strengthen you, to empower you. You can get your joy back, it is decision. Rejoice today, be glad today. All these negative things have happened, but I know secret – I am not giving away my joy.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf9DBboXRk8
Mar 31
Hast thou, then, nothing more to mention?
Com'st ever, thus, with ill intention?
Find'st nothing right on earth, eternally?
📖 Faust, by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/14591/1459
Mar 31
I should have listen to him and keep the secret. But it's just not right.
- You're right. It isn't.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
Mar 31
Mar 31
Mar 31
Your father always charmed his way out of this.
You're doing what Michelle did. Justifying his actions. Finding the way to keep loving him. Seeing the best in people.
🎞️ The Good Father: The Martin MacNeill Story (2021)
🍀
