April 1, 2024
I say in the broken heart marketplace – give a broken heart 6 weeks to eight weeks, maybe even three months, they'll always going to resolve, but the feeling crazy part that doesn't go away until somebody gives you a blueprint, a map – a way to kind of navigate out of the mess.
🟥 Strategies Narcissists Use To Minimize Your Self Trust, featuring Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
April 1
One of the essential ingredients to gaslighting –it is predicated on trust or connection or attachment. We want to be close to gaslighter. It's the only way it can work. Because if a stranger gaslighted me or someone I don't care about, I'm like leave me alone, get the hell away from me. I could take that stance. But if it's someone I love or care about I'm not going to be that dismissive. I trust them so there will be plausibility to what they say.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
April 1
In the early phases of gaslighting, people usually fight back. They'll say no, that is absolutely not true and we push back. The problem is, Robin Stern talks about this process. The challenge is that when we push back, gaslighting isn't lying. If we catch someone in lie and we give them the evidence of lie, then the liar will say you got me. Gaslighter will never going to cop to it. They don't try deny evidence, they try to dismantle you.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
April 1
If you push back a lot, especially early in the relationship as many of us do, they will then doubt your commitment. And may say “Maybe we're not compatible”. And they threaten abandonment. And that threat is one of gaslighting tools that they're almost testing the waters. If you knew narcissism you'd say bye and it's all over. They're probably come back though. But most of us don't want it to end, our own abandonment wounds.
Then they relent.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
April 1
Narcissistic person is hitting two parts of us. A healthy part and unhealthy part. The unhealthy part is our self-doubt. People who stay in narcissistic relationships longer either have standing history of self doubt or it's developed in relationship. Healthy part of us they're hitting is our flexibility: able to see situation from different perspectives. But when you put self-doubt together, when narc puts plausible doubts, “yeah, maybe he's right”
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
April 1
They will blame you for everything. They will blame you for their harm. There's also a lot of criticism in these relationships, it feels like you can't do anything right. A lot of it is byproduct of projected perfectionism. You start to believe if you get it perfect enough, then this would work out. These are also riddled with contempt. It's almost they're disgusted by you. But they don't cut you loose because you're source of supply.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
Apr 1
One thing I tell clients is don't go deep. Don't defend, don't engage, don't explain and don't personalize. When you get into mud, you'll never going to get out of it, it's like quicksand. Just don't engage with them. Keeping it at surface level. Don't share good nor bad stuff with them. They will often not be supportive the way you need. Slipping is not bad, slip reminds you that this is not changing.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
Apr 1
I feel like mental health has come up short is we've often told people you can figure this all out yourself, it's all inside of you. I'm like–no, no. There's a context happening outside of you and we need to be able to call that context what it is. It's not that I want people to swim in that forever. I want them putting them in the driver's seat. But we've been asking people to make changes in themselves without understanding what they're up against
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DyAeeST5Q
Apr 1
- My willpower is gone.
- It's not about willpower. It's a disease. You're actually sick.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
Apr 2
What good is making you tough enough to take care of yourself if along the way you lose everything that made you such a kind compassionate wonderful person to begin with.
🎞️ American Dad!
Apr 2
I was extremely closed off when I was in primary school. I don't think I realized how so at the time. Because I felt like when I was at home I was quite an open and honest person and I didn't have that many boundaries. And I felt surely when I'm at school people can see that, people can see I'm quite an open person, they'll get the vibe. No. I walk in blank expression.
🟥 Autistic Masking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36-K-HW3syc
Apr 2
You might edit out negative emotions as well. Autistic shutdown can be seen as kind of internalization of an autistic meltdown. Build yourself up as somebody more socially acceptable. Closely connected to blank mask is Fawning and People pleasing. Try to make yourself look appealing to whatever is threatening to you. Try to be nice, try not to upset anyone, push down your own needs. Passive and smile, reassure others around
🟥 Autistic Masking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36-K-HW3syc
Apr 2
I reassure the other person that I like them, look I'm finding you funny, because I know how stressful social situations can be and I'm kind of projecting onto them and I want them to feel ok. because I know how much social situations sometimes don't make me feel ok. I realized I complained a lot, use dramatic language to describe situation, I learned don't do that. Not everybody deserve that.
🟥 Autistic Masking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36-K-HW3syc
Apr 2
I've read if you don't mask you risk of being ostracized by people around you. But if you do mask, then you're practicing self-ostracization. Because you're saying your true Self who you are as a person is not good enough. And the only way to succeed is by being someone else. And if it does work to some extent, and you get approval from other people, that's just reinforcing that same message that your true Self is not welcome here. It can mess up your identity.
🟥 Autistic Masking
Apr 2
Monotropic split – when we mask we're splitting our attention between all the different aspects of socializing in a way that's just not natural for us. In order to make ourselves seem like we're like everyone else, polytropic/neurotypical people. Masking was a risk marker for autistic people wanting to take their own lives. It is serious. Letting yourself to be autistic without need to pretend. Doing in autistic way.
🟥 Autistic Masking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36-K-HW3syc
Apr 2
Toxic people can be masterful at turning the table on you, making you the issue for having an issue.
This works really well because it does two things:
1. It makes you wonder if things would have gone better, maybe even resolved, if you had just kept your mouth shut.
2. And, now you’re the one in the hot seat defending yourself.
Apr 2
Gaslighters are not looking for the truth. They are avoiding responsibility and accountability. And there’s no finding reason with someone like this.
Kerry McAvoy, PhD
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxbNMRLdOkH9Kr6
Apr 2
Geert Hofstede, assisted by others, came up with six basic issues that society needs to come to term with in order to organize itself. These are called dimensions of culture. Each of them has been expressed on a scale that runs roughly from 0 to 100.
https://geerthofstede.com/culture-geert-hofstede-gert-jan-hofstede/6d-model-of-national-culture/
Apr 2
Dimension maps: Uncertainty Avoidance
https://geerthofstede.com/culture-geer
Apr 3
When we go after this type of control we wind up feeling and behaving more out of control trying to get control, we wind up very reactive and so it backfires. We want our energies to be useful not futile. Getting our needs met not get us further away from those needs met. Trying to have just everything right, safe, organized, perfectionistic vision. If we look deeply – smothering, overbearing, forces help, control mood
🟥 Does seeking control over our lives do more harm...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_n8TadGxml
Apr 3
Most people never live their lives and you're very lucky. You're afraid that you're not in your place. But you have the spark, all you need is to believe in yourself.
Believe me, Antoine.. you are truly in your place.
🎞️ Ténor (2022)
Apr 3
When we are compartmentalizing ourselves like that and denying things like comfort or rest, or joy, because we think that people who need those things are pathetic and weak, what we are doing is guaranteeing future burnout. Because human beings need all of those things. And if we do not intentionally give ourselves those for long enough, our bodies will eventually revolt to get those needs met in other ways: sick, depressed, anxious beyond measure.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10zSvgqwZR0
Apr 3
If you have toxic shame what you need to be focusing on is not self-esteem, because for you self-esteem is likely to look more like a dissociative fantasy. And what you need to focus on first and foremost is developing dignity. Dignity is art of respecting all parts of ourselves – even the parts of ourselves that we wish were different. Be willing to stay present and on page with ourselves. To face whatever pain, focus and find real solutions.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10zSvgqwZR0
Apr 3
There is psychologist Dr Marsha M. Linehan who has concept checking whether our shame fits the facts. Shame lets us know we are going to get rejected. Check if I am going to get rejected if I behave in that way or say that thing? Or is it something I developed a belief around because at the time I formed this belief it would get me rejected. But maybe here it doesn't apply. Become self aware about environment we place ourselves in. Option - new communities.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10zSvgqwZR0
Apr 3
Studies show the more someone leans into their grandiose confidence side, the more they might actually flip to feeling vulnerable or sensitive in certain situations. Even stoutest cover narcissist will begin to leak out grandiose traits, their facade will crack: they'll exhibit arrogance, seek constant admiration, fantasize about unlimited success and power, feel entitled, exploit you.
🟥 Are All Avoidants Covert Narcissists?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sul0i7pH7Ys
Apr 3
If you have low selfesteem or low self-worth, you might be accidentally hurting the people in your life indifferent or checked out in the areas where they would actually appreciate some proactive help or support from you. When we have idea of ourselves not having much to offer what we don't instinctively do is looking areas where other people may benefit from our help or support. We might genuinely believe to back off than to show up care or support to them
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFUIv2YXRjw
Apr 3
As soon as we see the negative thing, the thing that our brain logs as a risk, we're going to latch onto that and make it the entirety of our experience. And then once again we're going to be in that negative loop of projecting outward something that we believe to be true about another person and showing up as it is true, which gets us into that negative feedback loop.
People respond primarily to energy we give to them. Make other person uncomfortable.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFUIv2YXRjw
Apr 3
I've noticed that one of the main reasons I isolate myself as much as I do (which is a lot) is because I feel like I don't have much to offer other people, and them spending time with me would just be a waste of their time.
Apr 4
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 16a gior, 2024-04-02, 18-07-17, Rai Sport HD
Apr 5
To do something good, someone will always find fault.
📺 1968: The year that changed America
Apr 5
30 years without Kurt Cobain
Apr 5
People care about the people who care about themselves.
🎞️ Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005)
Apr 6
If you stand up for yourself, they further silence you, creating a despair that can rock you to your core. It can cause paralyzing desperation for validation. And the abuser knows it.
Apr 6
Paradox – the more you try to impress people – the less impressed they are. The more you try to be funny, the less funny you are.
✝️ Bobby Schuller and the Hour of Power
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5InKg8FX60
Apr 6
Masking can increase social anxiety for autistic.
Just because on a surface level somebody seems to have good communication skills and be able to make eye contact, that doesn't mean that everything is magical for them. It starts with I want people to like me and I want to fit in. I have to do what they expect of me by masking. I can't look after myself and meet my own needs too. I burn out. Then I withdraw. And cycle starts again
🟥 Autistic Masking is NOT What you think..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjk2EtQVhHc
Apr 6
Mate crime – befriend and steal from them or manipulate. You can see how somebody who masks a lot, somebody who is desperate to be accepted and to be approved of by people around them and who has learned to make people like them by smiling and being agreeable how somebody could end up in this sort of situation.
🟥 Autistic Masking is NOT What you think..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjk2EtQVhHc
Apr 6
If you complained about sensory issue you might have been told you're overreacting. That you were too sensitive. That your experience was just wrong and then that isn't how it is for everyone else – it's just you. Over time we just give up listening to ourselves, our bodies, to our intuition and just feel like I'm wrong and obviously just me thing because nobody else seems to be complaining. Theme of doubting yourself.
🟥 Autistic Masking is NOT What you think..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjk2EtQVhHc
Apr 6
“I grew up being told I was wrong: too sensitive, too serious, not ladylike etc. I wasn't sure who I was.” You might think yeah I suppose I am usually the one that's in the wrong and others are usually right so therefore my abuser must be right. Because many autistic don't understand societal norms, if an abusive person senses that they may be able to gaslight you and tell you certain things everybody does this. Can lead to risky situations.
🟥 Autistic Masking...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjk2EtQVhHc
Apr 6
The main therapy for autistic people ABA therapy, which has big emphasis on compliance it's no wonder that autistic people might feel like they just can't say no, that they don't have right to say no in certain scenarios. In my business I ended in bad situations with my clients, because I'm so conscious about masking, I agreed to things, agreed to prices that we were not suitable. Masking feels like survival response.
🟥 Autistic Masking is NOT What you think..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjk2EtQVhHc
Apr 6
When I'm in this masking state, it's not entirely in my control: I just try to say the nicest thing possible. Or I can be in mode of I want people to like me, going to say whatever is going to make them like me and I don't really entirely think things through. You're allowed to slow down, you're allowed to take pauses, and you're allowed to say I need some more time to think about that. Unless it's emergency.
🟥 Autistic Masking is NOT What you think..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjk2EtQVhHc
Apr 6
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 16a gior, 2024-04-05, 07-31-23, Rai Sport HD
Apr 6
Schitt's Creek sketch
Apr 7
When we are not in touch with the truth and when the goodness in us is not nurtured, what happens is we become chronically dysregulated. Because it is a human need to think of ourselves as okay. So if we are chronically being told by the people whose care we are in that we are not okay, that there is something wrong with us, and that we are morally bad people, we are going to need to go to extremes to comfort ourselves. It is extremely dysregulating
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucLUAd4bjMg
Apr 7
Sit down and investigate that belief. It's easier to just internalize “I am bad”, “I am wrong”, “I hurt people by virtue of who I authentically am”, and so anytime something goes wrong in a relationship I am to blame. Caveat is if you have a lot of trauma you might have harder time in relationship than average person. You might have more triggers, make healthy relating difficult, but this is significantly different reality from “I am bad person who ruins people's lives”.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
Apr 7
It's one that it's so hard to break the pattern of. Because you can always find the exception. You can always find the one thing that you did wrong – and go see – I knew it, it is my fault that the entire relationship is a mess. When in reality one thing that you did wrong is one thing that you did wrong. And people do wrong things chronically in relationship. In a healthy secure dynamic you will do things wrong. You are not cause of their unhappiness. Heal
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucLUAd4bjMg
Apr 7
Colors of the spring
Apr 7
Spring flowers
Apr 7
We've learned to live with Mr. Webster. He's like the common cold. You know you're going to get it once or twice a year.
🎞️ Lover Come Back (1961)
Apr 7
IMDb trivia:
Hollywood legend claims that, during the filming of Rock Hudson and Doris Day's bathing suit scene (set on a soundstage beach) one of Hudson's testicles kept popping out from his swimtrunks. While screening dailies the next afternoon, the crew laughed so hard, they became teary-eyed, especially when the projectionist figured how to roll the film back-and-forth so it looked like Hudson's testicle was doing a "dance."
🎞️ Lover Come Back (1961)
Apr 7
🇫🇷 Corsica
Apr 8
My best advice is to switch it from "do they like me?" to "do I like THEM?" Takes the pressure of being liked by everyone all the time, including people who we don't even like in the first place.
The right people will like you for YOU. If they don't, they're not your people and that's fine. :)
Apr 8
Maybe you should just focus on controls.
- The key to happy life is to accept that you are never actually in control.
🎞️ Jurassic World (2015)
Apr 8
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-04-06, 15-50-19, France 2
Apr 9
Once we are settled comfortably in our own little bubbles, started to be hesitant to venture around, thing cognitive processing plays a role in avoiding situations where rejection is a possibility. And if we succumb to this habit, all these opportunities that we will miss out on could be priceless, irreplaceable. Temporary painful experiences like rejection can be extremely crucial, vital, pivotal and integral in our self-development & growth
🟥 Ways rejection can save you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYP9qkab0E8
Apr 9
Soon it became clear to me that I can't escape or outrun it. It's just the matter of how to grapple and make the most out of it because remember – it is not about the reaction but instead the response.
Handle rejection with beauty and grace.
Every single time that you get rejected it unveils a brand new door filled with opportunities hat will help you accumulate more opportunities than being accepted could ever possibly garner.
🟥 Ways rejection can save you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYP9qkab0E8
Apr 9
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 17a gior, 2024-04-07, 09-51-07, Rai Sport HD
Apr 9
Thierry, Thierry, you know, it's been said that your clothes have a kind of overt, extreme sexual subtext, which is squarely at odds with the image of women as capable and independent of men. So, I was just wondering, our audience would love to know, really, what you think about that?
- Well, it's all about looking good. Helping the silhouette. And it's all about getting a great f*ck, honey.
🎞️ Prêt-à-Porter (1994)
Apr 10
the stress hormone noradrenaline (the "flight" hormone, versus adrenaline, the "fight" hormone) can actually trigger cancer cell growth directly.
Hans Selye, a Hungarian scientist who worked in Montreal, Canada, showed that a chronic "alarm state" (anticipating problems requiring "flight") leads to an "exhaustion state" which depletes the immune system.
⬜ (myeloma org)
Apr 10
There is a cult persona that you develop when you go into cult. After the bait. The real you is buried beneath there somewhere. Now you have this way of behaving, euphoric fantasy. You are not aware of all trauma. The problem with panic attacks is buried down there. Person I thought I was better person – didn't have panic attacks. When I left all the panic attacks came back. Because I accessed again how traumatized I was, emotionally disemboweled I felt.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCTZBUt1TUs
Apr 10
Split personality– dissociated. It is basically there's a version of you that you become which you think is a fuller version and it's not.
Freud came up with idea that you as a subject split the object, all together good and bad. Melanie Klein says yes but in order to split Mark good & bad, I have to split my own ego, in order to relate to you as you're good and bad parts, I have to develop good and bad parts.
Person in narc abuse doesn't show in therapy
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCTZBUt1TUs
Apr 10
Narcissistic supply was first identified by Otto Fenichel in 1938. He identified it as a way for the individual to garner admiration and support and validation in order to bolster their self esteem. When we're studying narcissistic personality disorder there are 3 elements of narcissistic supply. 1) help them bolster delusional self-image. This is person who's living half in half out of this reality. They chosen grandiose version of reality.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMGIiz1-Lwk
Apr 10
Narc supply is the fuel that keeps that dream alive. 2) You are their narc supply. Form of admiration, and validation. More about keeping fantasy going. In shared fantasy you absorb coordinates, like it's very important to keep dream alive: you forget when they did bad thing, you dissociate. Being coerced to be member of their cult. It's covert contract, not conscious. 3) It's never egalitarian, never transaction giving and receiving. Only above you.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMGIiz1-Lwk
Apr 10
If you don't have this subtle distinctions you can get stuck longer than you need to. Because of bewilderment. When you're bewildered, when you're lost in the bewilderness, your mind is full of intrigue. It's like puzzle you can't solve. Your brain is just going why did that happen, the intrigue keeps you locked in. They don't want love, they don't want to do anything with love. They need adulation, admiration, or terror to affirm leader.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMGIiz1-Lwk
Apr 10
They split reality and they split you. And now you are split in two different sections. You start to store your memories separately in two separate spaces. Because you couldn't stand to have them both in the same space. So in order to keep them split, whenever you have a thought “He cheated on me”, the narcissistic defense kicks in and goes “No, but that was your fault”. “You made him do that, you caused that abuse”.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEfsXuCCQpU
Apr 10
Cognitive dissonance – result of two contradictory pieces of information fighting, it is internal fight. We come back to same concept again and again – Have idea 1 and idea 2 – they can't exist in the same space. You can't be good and bad object in the same time. So fight begins, you try to resolve that, creates cognitive dissonance which is huge amount of internal stress. Get sick after narcissistic relationship, massive weight gain, gastro disorder.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEfsXuCCQpU
Apr 10
This will destroy you across time. You're not designed for this. It is too much. And you never rest. Because the fight continues. It's hellscape. They cause you to fight you. You try to free yourself, they don't have to do any work at all. Idea set and they just walk away. You could break up with them and 12 years later you'd still be doing this. And they're dead and it continues because shared fantasy space you carrying it, not destroyed it.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEfsXuCCQpU
Apr 10
She has just shown us a celebration of fashion in the profoundest sense of the word. She has made a statement here today that will be felt for decades to come. She's made a choice that will influence all designers everywhere. And most of all, she has spoken to women the world over, telling them not about what to wear but how to think about what they want and need from fashion.
🎞️ Prêt-à-Porter (1994)
Apr 10
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-04-07, 17-02-45, France 2
Apr 10
🇪🇸 Canary Islands
Apr 10
🇪🇸 Canary Islands
Apr 10
A narcissist, a psychopath, a borderline, a histrionic, everyone, every person afflicted with a cluster B personality disorder, consider themselves victims.
You ask any narcissist, they will tell you, of course, I'm a victim. I'm the victim. I've been victimized.
They tend to blame other people for any mishap, misfortune, failure and defeat in their lives. They have an external locus of control.
⬜ Sam Vaknin
https://vaknin-talks.com/transcripts/V
Apr 11
And in addition to books, videos are also a scam in art and only serve to profit and defraud people who are very lost and vulnerable, they are the easiest to manipulate or be deceived, let's keep our eyes wide open. Not all videos in general are worth it...regards
Apr 12
So me demanding you to do the dishes disrupted your nervous system and caused this defiant behavior?
- It has nothing to do with the chore. I have no problem doing them. It's more so my brain thinking that you're taking choices away from me, and it's reacting.
🟥 Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xHvNw70FCc
Apr 12
Sensory stories
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xHvNw70FCc
Apr 12
Since PDA happens because we feel like we don't have a choice, and we have to do something, you can tell yourself not to do the thing that you should be really doing. By making the demand the thing we aren't supposed to do, at least in our head, we can sometimes motive ourselves to do it. Role playing – way to trick our mind to find joy and fun carrying on the task not doing it as ourselves in this scary NT world. Demand not on you
🟥 Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xHvNw70FCc
Apr 13
🏉 Rugby - Challenge Cup, 2024-04-13, 13-26-15, France 3
Apr 13
🏉 1/4 finale, ASM Clermont - Ulster Rugby
Apr 13
🏉 Sitav Lyons Piacenza - HBS Colorno
Apr 13
🏉 Sitav Lyons Piacenza - HBS Colorno
Apr 13
🏉 1/4 finale, Bordeaux Begles - Harlequins
Apr 13
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-04-13, 16-43-05, France 2
Apr 13
🏉 Tyrone Green
Apr 14
our lives are fraught with desire, guilt and anxiety, especially anxiety about our being-for-others. That is, our anxiety about what other people think of us. This leads us to suffer such irksome emotions as guilt, shame and embarrassment.
📖 How to Be an Existentialist: or How to Get Real, Get a Grip and Stop Making Excuses
Apr 14
you can go on to live an honest and worthwhile life in spite of the fact that human existence is ultimately pointless and absurd. The general idea is that you can’t create a genuinely honest and worthwhile life for yourself on the basis of a fairytale.
You have to build your life on an understanding and acceptance of how things really are, otherwise you will always be fooling and deluding yourself as you hanker after impossibilities like complete happiness and total fulfilment.
📖 How to Be an...
Apr 14
Some of the most unhappy people in the world are those who hold firmly to the false belief that complete happiness is achievable, that there is such a state as ‘happily ever after’. They are constantly hurt and frustrated that they never manage, for example, to transform their life into an endless summer afternoon in a rose filled cottage garden. Such a paradise is unachievable
📖 How to Be an Existentialist: or How to Get Real, Get a Grip and Stop Making Excuses
Apr 14
a person can still create a sense of purpose through the struggle itself and through the way he plays life’s game.
True existentialists never wish they were something else, they will it, they actively strive to change themselves.
For existentialist philosophers freedom is not essentially about what people are at liberty to do
📖 How to Be an Existentialist: or How to Get Real, Get a Grip and Stop Making Excuses
Apr 14
It is vital to a proper understanding of the existentialist theory of personal freedom to realize that it is just as much a theory of personal responsibility. Freedom is not freedom from responsibility, freedom is having to make choices and therefore having to take responsibility
📖 How to Be an Existentialist: or How to Get Real, Get a Grip and Stop Making Excuses
Apr 14
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-04-14, 15-50-55, France 2
Apr 14
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-04-14, 17-04-09, France 2
Apr 15
There are two types of worry that lead to anxiety. Productive worry which is worry about doing things, homework, getting to work on time, remembering to charge your phone, these traits contribute to the helpful planning side of anxiety. And then there's poisonous worry. Worry about things you cannot control, thunderstorms, whether people will like you, plane you're on. Anxiety affects our motivation, ability to complete our task, memory, self esteem.
🟥 ADDitude Magazine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LE5Q3trGyY
Apr 15
Mindfulness and meditation can be very helpful. To settle yourself down. That is the traditional way that we think about dealing with anxiety. When we deal with social anxiety, there are some differences. Social anxiety is debilitating fear that someone may humiliate you, reject you, it's fundamentally attached to a core belief of deficiency. It can restrict activities, interest, relationships. Perception is I am in danger while doing that.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LE5Q3trGyY
Apr 15
In social anxiety there is a fundamental disconnect between how a person actually appears to others and their own exaggerated often negative perceptions of themselves. This is one of the reasons why social anxiety was removed from the phobia category. Because it's more than a phobia. It's not just I'm afraid of spiders or elevator. There's underlying core beliefs that are activated.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LE5Q3trGyY
Apr 15
Change the relationship to worry by investigating it. Like a puzzle. Instead of hating it, wishing it would go away, spending a lot of time on why why why – we want to look at What, How, Where and When. Instead of saying I wish I never worry, we're going to expect to worry. Worry says blah blah blah and you can't handle it. Anxiety in general is an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of the resources available to deal with.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LE5Q3trGyY
Apr 16
No evidence that depression is caused by low serotonin levels, finds comprehensive review
Date:
July 20, 2022
Source:
University College London
Summary:
After decades of study, there remains no clear evidence that serotonin levels or serotonin activity are responsible for depression, according to a major review of prior research.
https://www.contemporaryclinic.com/view/re
Apr 16
There's an overidentification with I feel whatever the feeling is. That makes it tough to witness our feelings and step back from them, and see them more neutrally. Because the feeling is who I am. It's not something I am experiencing. There's flooding of intense feelings which overwhelms to think what is going on, consequences of our choices. Memory challenge-you can't retreat pass successes and apply them to the the present.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG15SmkXEc8
Apr 16
Social anxiety, RSD, perfectionism and imposter syndrome all share a fundamental issue – we have core sense of deficiency, a belief that you are not enough, that you could easily fail, or be excluded because of being different, or doing something wrong that you didn't know wasn't okay but you receiving immediate feedback it wasn't okay. Neurodivergent, living years of receiving criticism and experiencing judgements, sense of not being enough.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG15SmkXEc8
Apr 16
Inefficient coping mechanism for managing anxiety, related to disappointment, yours or someone else's. Perfection is directly related to to a need for approval. Imposter syndrome reflects feeling that your are fraud or phony. Since you are not perfect, and you can never achieve perfection then you must be fundamentally flawed. And you're hiding those flaws under the successes. No amount of success lessen that wound.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG15SmkXEc8
Apr 16
They strive for perfection to compensate for that deep fear of failure that they carry around that could lead to exclusion, rejection, judgements. Often lack confidence in relationships – worry what people are thinking about you, and you think you know what that is. That is direct component of social anxiety. In RSD we anticipate rejection of trouble in new situations. RSD is product of being criticized and judged negatively for being who you are.
🟥 Sharon Saline, Psy.D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG15SmkXEc8
Apr 16
The first sign of undiagnosed autism can be found in social interactions. Difficult to conform. Difficult to know what to do socially. Social interaction process ends up being very draining – thinking too much, trying too hard, manually trying to process tiny social cues, not doing fantastic, leave me to avoid social interaction. Lead me to appear to be awkward in social situations. Doing what everybody else is doing is challenge
🟥 7 Signs of Undiagnosed Autism in Adults
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwu3iZSgf10
Apr 16
The point is you're ok, nothing went horribly wrong but things could have gone a lot worse. And crossing an ethical line which he absolutely did tells you something about a man. It reveals a man's character.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
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