ponedjeljak, 6. siječnja 2025.

Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse

 What behavior is unacceptable with social anxiety?
What is disorder part in social anxiety?

CBT tell us to simply expose ourselves to fears - but CBT does not understand social anxiety mindset based on ACoA and ACE experiences - where we never learned to have hope and feeling of expectation and anticipation that things will be great for us in the future.
So when we expose and get into contact with vague or abusive people whom we cannot escape or run away from - in the exposure we will not have structure, we won't have scaffolding to support ourselves at all. We won't have structure to help us cross bridges - we won't have plan to better future at all - when we expose. Instead we will have fears and panic because this is what we learned in ACE ACoA. And then we will end up being shy, afraid, anxious - and CBT and neurotypical people will pathologize our traits and fears and order us to be confident. Which will make anxiety worse. But all we need is structure - that we see our future is safe, great, wealthy and abundant and happy. Like - having a lot of money, not depending on toxic people anymore, not being stuck in abuse and oppression - that are structures which we never learned to have in our mind due to abuse.

The point of structure is not that we delude ourselves, the point is not that we build a fantasy - it is the hope that make us create safe place in our mind where we are allowing our cortex brain to build decisions which will help us to handle difficult problems, difficult people and traps we are stuck inside. That is why I would not pathologize social anxiety symptoms - these are helping us to survive difficult people and difficult situations which we cannot overcome at the moment due to lack of money and support and lack of helping structures.
































CPTSD Foundation
@cptsdfoundation
Dec 31, 2024
Our recovery as survivors is aided tremendously by forming healthy relationships with safe people in an environment where we can find the words where words were absent before.
It is one of the most profound experiences we can have as survivors.


Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
#Narcissist parents will withhold teaching their kids life skills or lessons because they don’t want to make life any easier on their kids, they want their kids dependent on them for help or answers.
Their objective is to always feel “better than” or “smarter than”, or to remain “dominant” over their kids. But they’ll act like they “did so much” “paid for food and clothing” while they taught their kids nothing. It’s a way to cover up intentionally malicious psychological neglect. Incredibly abusive, not to mention disgusting, deranged, illogical, and tragically emotionally immature
When you ask them questions or for help with something, you’ll notice they will tell you the bare minimum so they can look like they answered your question but you’ll notice that they really try to give you as little information or experience as possible. It’s as if their experience is money, and why would they give anything for free… like it actually offends them
I think it’s an important point  to be aware of, they may offer assistance in ways that keep you dependent on them. In those situations it might actually seem like they’re giving you their time or money, but in my experience they don’t share helpful experience that allows you to do things for yourself.

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Dec 31, 2024
Going to New Zealand next week to give a talk. My thesis is that what we call “symptoms” of “mental disorders” are, in reality, inner prompts designed to help us begin a new life chapter. If that’s right, then psychiatry’s disease model actually moves us away from mental health.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Dec 31, 2024
Stop wasting time on people who only love you when the conditions are right for them.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Dec 31, 2024
Fact:
Cruelty stems from weak character.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Dec 30, 2024
You deserve to be surrounded by people who bring out your soft side – rather than those who trigger your survival side.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
A person who finds peace instead of revenge can never be bothered.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Unless you’ve been the victim of a narcissist/psychopath, it’s unlikely you have any idea what they’re capable of, nor could comprehend it.
Plus, no current ‘expert’ has a comprehensive understanding of ‘dark personality’ attributes & tactics due to extensive research anomalies.

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Dec 30, 2024
Narcissists create chaos yet demand peace in return.

Parmenides argued that, for something to exist or be born, it must come from a substance that existed before it, as something cannot come from nothing. All trees come from seeds, all children come from parents, et cetera. If you can speak of something, or think of it, it must have some truth, and be part of the larger, unified truth of the universe.
Kinnu

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
What we call “mental illness” is largely an attempt to grapple with the problems of life: pain, boredom, insignificance. They are prompts to push us to a better way of living. We don’t need drugs, but the space and support to heed their call.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 1
Why does being authentic bother so many people?

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Your soul knows... it will literally tell you when it's time to move on and start a new chapter of your life. Trust it.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
I am no longer available for things or people that make me feel like crap.

KSH
@ksaraholland
Worked in Paris. French did work hard. Vehemently told me why what I asked for was unreasonable, not their role, unrealistic etc. I sympathized and said I needed it anyway. Then they delivered early with astonishing creativity and blew my socks off every time. Just like drama.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 2
Unhealed trauma makes you hold onto people longer than you should and tolerate sh*t you don't deserve because you lack self-worth and don't want to feel alone. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve to be in your life — no matter how much you love them.


ban psychiatry burn the dsm
@antipsychgeist
Jan 1
The DSM says that a normal response to life’s challenges does not constitute an MI. So people rightly try and explain the sources of their “symptoms” to the psychiatrist. Then, in an act of betrayal, the psychiatrist calls you MI anyway, your experiences “contributing factors.”

The Process in BPD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4JiCV0Cnw
31:59 Society has created this world where you're just such an evil person that we desperately don't want to be associated with it.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
What we have to understand is this: Dishonesty doesn’t come second nature to the malignant #narcissist…
Dishonesty is the malignant narcissist’s FIRST and foremost nature.
It’s honesty that feels unnatural to them .

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
The silent treatment is used to manipulate someone and make them feel bad about themselves. No contact is just that. You are done with wanting any further contact.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Please don't spend your time trying to make sense to people who keep hurting you. Their behavior doesn't make sense. Their lack of remorse doesn't make sense. Their assumption that they can treat you poorly & still have a permanent place in your life, does not make sense.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
One of the most dangerous types of people to have around you is people who don’t like you but act like they do.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Victim mentality is a phrase often weaponized by toxic individuals in order to shame survivors for using their voices to create change.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Malignant #narcissist parents will abuse their scapegoat child into PTSD or depression or other signs of psychological abuse trauma,
Then they will use that trauma to make it look like the child had inherent mental problems. (Bipolar has been a popular  choice among abusive parents)
This only compounds the effects of the abuse and traumatizes the victim further.
The people that do this to their children are literally monsters, but they will play the victim or the “hero parent“ who is doing “everything they can” to help their “troubled child“.
This abuse tactic needs to be shut down and the only way we can even begin is if it becomes common knowledge that people learn not to fall for.
We need to start holding these abusers accountable.

‪𐕣𖤐Mistress_Death𖤐𐕣‬ ‪@midnightpyredeath.bsky.social‬
"We all have our personal demons...But don't think that they are your enemy...They are always willing to help when no one else can." -me

Consider: maybe it's not social anxiety. Maybe you're just with wrong people. Maybe you don't like small talk? Not interested in shallow conversation? Your BS meter is super accurate. Instead of making yourself wrong just recognize you're not around right people
🔻Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7fouA9HaRhI

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
Have you noticed how much you learn from someone when you tell them NO?

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
cPTSD is a result of not having the freedom (or access) to acknowledge and process trauma. The complex part is because the trauma was ongoing. PTSD represents specific traumatic memories. Complex PTSD presents those memories and experiences having no end.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 5
Growth is realizing they didn't misunderstand you. They feel power by you feeling misunderstood.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
If you really want to see a person's true character, watch how they treat someone that they can't benefit off of.

#socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #socialanxietytips #sociallyawkward #shyness
Plans, predicting – when it goes off the rails you start to scramble and you don't know what to say because it wasn't in your original version. It also prevents you from making mistakes. You are allowed to make a mistake. Silence is golden. There is nothing wrong with moments of silence.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cvOk8RHJ6Uk

Allodoxaphobia
- the fear of other people's opinions. It is not just about being afraid of being judged but also the fear of being criticized, disliked or rejected. May find themselves constantly worrying about what others think even if their opinions are completely unfounded.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lGO9kJLz6Zc

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
Don’t stay in a bad situation for too long because you’ll forget it’s bad and get comfortable.

Alan Richard‬ ‪@alanrichard.bsky.social‬
·
1d
Everything I know at the top I learned at the bottom 🏆

The speed bumps and hiccups are in FAVOR of you 😎

The test is MEANT to be a testimony 😤

So thank God for them be grateful 🙏🏻 








Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Never judge someone by the opinions of others.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
People will always notice the change in your attitude towards them, but they will never notice it's their behavior that made you change.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
The problem with dark personalities is that they frame gossip or negative nuance about another person in a way that seems supportive.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
There are people you haven’t met yet that will love you without you having to earn it. They'll see you & appreciate you because of who you are. They'll be gentle because of what you've overcome. They'll be consistent because they know what vulnerability has cost you in the past.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 6
I love people who can put their pride aside, apologize, and actually correct their behaviour. That awareness, accountability, and emotional intelligence is so attractive.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities (narcissists, psychopaths) know they’re different from a young age. They know they must disguise their true nature to fit in. If you try & expose one, they will destroy your reputation & actively turn people against you with lies, manipulation, provocation….

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities genuinely believe they are superior to others in particular because they do not emote, so they do not experience fear or shame. They view people who experience emotions as weak and inferior.
They are also extremely entitled. Often dark personalities try and hide their powerful sense of superiority and entitlement. The giveaway though is the very, very subtle smirk. There are other signs too.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Lying to someone who doesn’t believe you anyway is pointless.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
The whole issue with narcissism is very confusing.
Over time several terms have been developed to distinguish between 2 groups of people exhibiting similar behaviours with a different motivation…
Psychopath v sociopath (ASPD), malignant narcissist v vulnerable narcissist, type A psychopath v type B psychopath and so on.
The first group have brain anomalies. The second group exhibit these behaviours based on substantial abuse.
Research indicates the first group cannot be ‘cured’ nor do they want to change because they see themselves as superior.
The second group, unlike the first group, does experience shame, and will voluntarily see a therapist in some cases. With some hard work, the second group can change.  
The reasons this is not widely understood includes research methodologies have been substandard, academics have been keen to make a name for themselves and so have often created new names where they’ve not been necessary, there are many fields of study examining these behaviours yet none of them really talk to each other so information can be consolidated, some academics are themselves dark personalities and are invested in creating confusion and so on.
To remove confusion, I call the first group Persistent Predatory Personality.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 6
Energy is very expensive, stop giving it out for free.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 6
Stop telling people in survival mode they need to just “let go.”  They’ll let go when they have something they can hang onto. If the memories come on strong, they need to know they’ll never hurt like they did when their life changed without their permission.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
I’ve spent decades working with executives & have encountered a high number of dark personalities.
I’m stunned at the amount of time very senior dark personalities invest in destroying just one person who might try & expose them, either in their personal or professional life.


Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
In terms of understanding narcissists, it is not a matter of picking someone that you like. 🙂 What is important is that what the expert is saying is based on the voices of thousands of victims and practitioners who have actually worked with narcissists and their victims.
Interestingly,  Dr Ramani has interviewed a very powerful narcissist masquerading as a domestic violence victim.
I have considerable data to back this and it will be contained in my second book. The world of narcissists and psychopaths and dark personalities is full of narcissists and psychopaths and dark personalities actively masquerading and misleading.
As a human race, we need to be absolutely crystal clear about the attributes and tactics of those harm by choice or we will continue to be deceived.
That is why I spent five years full-time reviewing all the academic literature from across the world in many different fields that study these people as well as conducting my own research with experts working with dark personalities (and their victims) in both forensic and non-forensic contexts for an average of 22 years each.  I am passionately committed to reducing the harm these people impose.


Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Take Hare’s work with a grain of salt. His books have some interesting and very useful information however his model which informs the PCL – R, the most highly utilised assessment tool in the world for diagnosing psychopaths, does not contain the attribute of control, which my data indicates is their most powerful driver. It also does not contain the attribute of sadism, which my data indicates is another powerful driver of their behaviour. He argues impulsivity is a core attribute of them all which of course can’t possibly be true and many academics have challenged. Much of Hare’s data has been drawn from forensic populations and rather than adapt his model to more current research, Hare has litigated against and character assassinated people who have challenged his work.
I have participated in a program run by Hare in the Bahamas on how to administer to the PCL-R and have had a number of meetings and meals with him.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Highly sensitive people feel everything on a much deeper level. We aren't fooled by words or external appearances. We don't just experience your surface level emotions... we feel your energy shifts, intentions, judgments, lies, and truths.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
There are in fact two types of anger experienced by dark personalities.
One type of anger is pathological, hot and reactive. It occurs when they are thwarted from getting what they want, when their sense of superiority is challenged, or when someone is trying to expose them. The other type of anger is strategic, cold and just an act. It is used to intimidate and control others.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
The thing about complex trauma is it removes you from being the main character in your own life. When you suffer for a prolonged amount of time, survival mode shifts focus on everything external to get by, rather than living peacefully from the center of who you are.

Aim True (Amy Pagett)
@AimTrue7
Jan 6
If you are trying to help someone heal, shaming them won’t likely work.
They already carry enough shame & more will send them deeper into the cycle of recreating it.


Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
One thing I’ve noticed is that the same groups of people shouting about bystander intervention, being an upstander, and calling out violence, misogyny, and oppression rarely say anything until the mainstream narrative flows in their favour, and THEN they comfortably stand up, add their voice or write their article or social media post.

If nothing else, this should demonstrate how hard it is to be the first person to stand up and say something when it’s not popular, when no one likes you for it; and when it puts you at some risk.

It looks easy enough, but it takes self-confidence, conviction and resolve - which clearly, many people do not feel they have.

We cannot continue in a society in which 99% of people just wait for someone else to say the thing we are all thinking.

Sometimes, you’re gonna have to be that person who goes first. And it’s not easy, and it’s not very fun. And you might get shot down, or laughed at, or ignored totally.

But we cannot spend our lives waiting for someone else to speak up.


Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 6
Remember to choose yourself first, then choose who chooses you.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Many abusive or narcissistic individuals engage in a kind of "preemptive rebranding" of their harmful traits. By owning their negative behaviors and presenting them with humor, pride, or as a form of righteousness, they disarm others who might otherwise question or challenge their actions. It can create a false narrative that their abusive behavior is intentional, controlled, or even justified—almost like saying, "I know I’m bad, and I’m owning it, so you can't call me out."
This strategy often relies on manipulating people's perceptions. By framing their abuse as a quirky personality trait or a badge of honor, they encourage others to dismiss it as harmless or even admirable.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Stop selling yourself short and walk into that room like God sent you.

💜

Blog posts:

Do Movies Cause Social Anxiety? ✌ Strong reaction to someone rude ✌ The Agreeableness Theory  ✌Managing Social Anxiety and Toxic Shame ✌ Complex Trauma induce Social Anxiety and Avoidance ✌Navigating through social anxiety ✌ Accepting social anxiety ✌ Social anxiety is Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) ✌ Quiet BPD is social anxiety ✌ Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse

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