January 2023 Twitter

 Jan 1, 2023

8:00 am in central Europe and it is New Year in Boise, Idaho:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOukGEBowpc

Jan 1, 2023

9:00 am in Europe is midnight in Hollywood,
Los Angeles entered in New Year 2023 few minutes ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfuE_Goyfeo

If you don't walk like you normally do, those ligaments will not come into place, you won't be able to walk like you did before, you will always walk in limp. Don't allow pain, hurt, discouragement cause us to walk in emotional limp.
VICTORIA OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=076JfrrOUW0

Discouragement is part of life. Those wounds, they hurt. They're real. But they are lie. If you feel shrinking back in fear, because you've been hurt-afraid to try again, realize that is the enemy lying to you. Make sure that response wasn't out of defense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=076JfrrOUW0

 You can't allow bad experience to trick you into thinking you're going to have a bad life. Recognize: This is a limp! I wasn't designed to limp. I was designed to run. I was designed to move, designed to move forward.
VICTORIA OSTEEN

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=076JfrrOUW0

Every set back releases fear. Every past hurt promotes fear. Fear is not of God. Everything you won't do comes from fear, anything you won't do. Fear of taken advantage of, laughed at, hurt again. That is enemy trying to make you limp.
VICTORIA OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=076JfrrOUW0

Jan 1
I was trying to keep my baby to myself, because I knew I would always protect her. But I realize now, children need to discover things for themselves. They'll stumble and fall, laugh and cry, but such is life.
Hotel Transylvania (2012)

  

Jan 2
Core fear can be different for each person. They are not something enough. They may not feel smart enough or pretty enough or popular enough of athletic enough or whatever enough. But that enough is different – focus on that.
YT Natashadanielsocdtherapist

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/kRlUiHaFZc8

 Jan 2
Christmas tree through stained glass.

 Jan 3
Narcissism is the most shame based of all personality disorders. Narcissism is not about self love at all. It's about grandiosity driven by high performance and self hatred. Shame based fear of being ordinary.
YT (Credit Brene Brown)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKdX21nJNyU

 Jan 3

“Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are.”
― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

Jan 3

The Narcissist Colonizes your mind,
The Narcissist robs you of your voice, your zest for life, and your very life force
YT How The Narcissist Kills Your Voice
RICHARD GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvaJAfYsTE8

 Echo codependent had in their childhood narcissistic parent. And they eradicate the child's voice. They cannot bear the child's voice. They cannot let child have a separate identity. It must be crushed, killed in a sense.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

Echo codependent child becomes killed in a sense. Their authentic self is killed and the child learns to perpetuate that killing by continuing to self-eradicate. People with echo codependency: they don't know what they want.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

Echo codependent don't know who they are, they don't know where they're going. And they tend to attach to tyrannical, hyper-assertive, vicious yang-aspected people so that we feel alive, feel animated again, full.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

Echos take place inside empty caves. Or you can think of it just being a cup. So there's nothing in here. This is completely empty and inside this empty cup anything can go in. Ideology, politics, bad philosophy, cults, weird religious ideas.
YT R. GRANNON

Instead of being stuck on Yang or stuck on Yin, we should be dynamically here. Whenever you think of a yin yang symbol – remember that symbol is to be thought as moving. It's not static. It's never static.
YT RICHARD GRANNON
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jvaJAfYsTE8

In Chinese philosophy, that kind of stillness, stiltedness and stuckness is death. That which is alive moves. It breathes in, out, yin yang always. Your voice is switched off. They killed it. They killed your voice, identity, will, intent.
RICHARD GRANNON

You have to overcome the actively running voice like an inner critic that's saying whatever it's saying to you, making decision for you. And you have to find the voice that was switched off. This is not easy thing to do.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

If there's an active voice running inside of your head right after you've come out narcissistic abusive relationship, you can assume that that's theirs. This is horrifying. This is really dangerous. Every decision you make it's the narcissists who says it.

"I will go to therapy now" It's the narcissist who goes to therapy. "I've went to therapy and told them this". It's the narcissist who went to therapy and told them this. That's the extent of colonization.
YT How The Narcissist Kills Your Voice
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jvaJAfYsTE8

 

Jan 3

Spectacular New Year's Eve party at Bahrain.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=BpPPAK2kDHk
 

 

 Jan 3

“Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame.”“Of the three primary instinctual defense systems, the immobility state is controlled by the most primitive of the physiological subsystems
Levine

 Jan 3

Finding out there's few kindred spirits that would help you survive. If you are empathic and stuck in one of those systems, why wouldn't there be others? Not of all of us have the luxury of leaving toxic systems.
YT DoctorRamani

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq_BrQGiV8c

Some of us can't just cut family out. Many of us can't quit jobs. While walking away and going no contact seems so appealing and so easy and it does work, it's simply not accessible format to everyone.
YT DoctorRamani

Your very survival may depend on finding the other good spirits within it. We sometimes don't think to look. Because the entire system is so toxic we imagine there can't be any little islands of sanity and safety.
YT DoctorRamani

It's never your responsibility if someone is super great liar. It is never your responsibility for someone who manipulates and distorts reality. Loving, trusting, forgiving people are beautiful qualities and it's not your fault these are used against you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4JeSOVYR2Y

With narcissist you will never receive closure. An idea that you want a revenge on them is actually a source of narcissistic supply for them. It means you haven't let go. They've got you, spending time thinking about them.
YT Lisa A. Romano

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4JeSOVYR2Y

Jan 3

Unseasonably extreme warm winter, and first spring flowers start to bloom.

 

Jan 3

If I had access to CPTSD books it would have saved me decades of thinking I was a broken person and hopeless, and for some mysterious reason just always struggling. It turns out my symptoms are totally normal for experiences like mine.
YT Crappy Childhood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWMNpi3sPes

 Jan 3

An ACE score is a tally of different types of abuse, neglect, and other hallmarks of a rough childhood.
Take The ACE Quiz

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

Jan 3

- Am I cool now?
- "Now"? Dennis, you were always cool. Human, vampire, unicorn, you're perfect no matter what.
Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)

 Jan 4
Fundamental Attribution Error
When it comes to other people's behaviour, we tend to overestimate the role of stable personal factors and underestimate the role of situational factors.

 

Jan 4
Phases of the Moon for January 2023;
https://youtube.com/watch?v=axTU7lagV48
 

 

Jan 4
Paris Hilton Sings "Stars Are Blind" with Miley Cyrus and Sia | Miley’s New Year’s Eve Party on NBC
https://youtube.com/watch?v=veJNTfp4Ie8
 

 

 Jan 4
Miley Cyrus & Dolly Parton Sing "Wrecking Ball" & "I Will Always Love You" | Miley’s New Year’s Eve
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SEdAFDl_2g4

 

 Jan 4
Arctic walrus makes surprise visit to English coastal town.
Scarborough council deciding to cancel this year's fireworks display so as not to disturb the walrus.
YT Guardian News
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lvjACq5a_q4

 

Jan 4
You're trying to get rid of guilt and shame, memories and feelings so that you can live in peace without them. By trying to push them away, this way you are strengthening them. Do the opposite. See it as part of conditioning.
YT Rupert Spira

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns5_XxvuGVo

Jan 4
It's not something you have to practice or do with your mind. The fact that these shame and guilt feelings are exist inside you indicates that awareness has already accepted them. You don't have to add anything to that. Let them be inside you.
Rupert Spira

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns5_XxvuGVo

Jan 4
Climate chaos in Europe.
It's January 4th and Primrose bloomed.

 

Jan 5
What is Emotional Dysregulation?
- mood shifts
- finding it hard to deal with stress
- angry outbursts
- high anxiety
- depression
- feelings of shame
- self harm
- substance misuse

 

 Jan 5
Behaviors of a narcissist
- sense of entitlement
- isolate the victim
- assertion of authority
- image management
- smears enemies
- no accountability
- abandons
- manipulation of victim
- public vs private persona
- passive aggressive
- belittles target
- projection
- mirroring

 

Jan 5
Victims of narcissistic abuse clinically speaking are indistinguishable from narcissists. Their psychology is identical to the narcissist. The etiology is the same: both grew up in dysfunctional, abusive household.
YT Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

 Jan 5
Both of them were not allowed to separate individually. One of them chose the solution of becoming the abuser and one of them chose the solution of appeasing the abuser, catering to abuser's needs.
YT Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

 Jan 5
The solutions were different. But not the personal history, not the etiology. Not the psychodynamic – everything is identical. It's just that solutions are different. Solutions are, mind you, not that important actually.
YT Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

Jan 5
Codependents also have false self and require codependent supply which is victimhood. Codependency is form of narcissism. Form that is non-agentic, that is passive but has all hallmarks of narcissism.
YT Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

 Jan 5
As Judith Hermann keeps pointing it out, it's interchangeable. Codependents often become narcissists and very narcissistic. It's a flip coin. Common to both of them is Complex Trauma. Use partner to recreate child conflicts
YT Sam Vaknin ft Richard Grannon

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

Jan 5
Both narcissist and codependent want a mother. Both coerce each other into maternal roles. Then narcissist discard the mother, devalues the mother because had internalized a bad object, believe himself he is bad, unworthy.
YT Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

 Jan 5
Narcissism is a compensatory dynamic. So narcissist can separate and individuate only in a bad way, in an evil way. He's been told since age 18 months that he is unworthy, evil, corrupt, so that's the way he acts.
YT Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

Jan 5
The codependent tries to separate individuate from the narcissist by subsuming the narcissist.
YT Is there any difference between a narcissist and a codependent - Sam Vaknin ft. Richard Grannon

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hI1jZ3pw0

Jan 5
It's like a bad dream. You're unable to act, unable to move because of the fantasy. You're not sure you are yourself because of de-personalization. You're not sure what you're witnessing is real – de-realization. Dissociative state.
YT Narc Hypnotic Trance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

 Jan 5
If you listen to abuser when he verbally abuses you it is like music brainwashing: repeats many sentences again and again and again. Like refrain in a song. Abuse is never typical speech, it is structured, mathematical.
YT Narc Hypnotic Trance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

 Jan 5
Verbal abuse entrains the brain. The abuser creates in your brain specific wave patterns. He doesn't know what he's doing, he's not a neuroscientist but he is a predator -comes naturally. Your brain synchronizes with abuser's brain.
YT Narc Hypnotic Trance

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

Jan 5
You regulate as healthy person. You regulate your emotions, moods, many regulatory functions taking place every second of the day. Abuser takes these regulatory functions away from you. You're defenseless. Your firewall is disabled.
YT Narc Hypnotic Trance

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

 
Jan 5
The abuser regulates your emotions, moods. Happy, unhappy - it's external. Abuser does this using a series of techniques. 1) Intermittent reinforcement: love/hate you. 2) Approach-avoidance 3) trauma bonding 4) verbal abuse
YT Narc Hypnotic Trance

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

Jan 5
From that moment any cognition&emotion you have is actually a reflection of cognition&emotions of the abuser, abuser had taken over your mind. Brain patterns, waves in your mind are not yours, although you subjectively experience them as if they are yours.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

Jan 5
We are far less independent than we think. We are far more influenced by outside stimuli than we ever imagined. But the activity of the mind continues regardless. You will continue to generate emotions and you'll think they're yours
YT Narc Hypnotic Trance

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

Jan 5
Verbal abuse is an invasion of the mind. It's mind rape. It entraining. Concept of entraining didn't exist until recently. Entraining: words, sounds; they can synchronize brain waves to the point that original brainwaves are eliminated.
YT Hypnotic Trance
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts
 

 

 Jan 5
Think of the abuser as parasite. Parasite who invades your mind and then colonizes it and then subverts it, transforms it into factory. Cognitions and emotions are produced in this factory to shared fantasy.
YT Mind Control - Sam Vaknin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

 Jan 5
Self must be constructed on foundation of continuous memories, and dissociation is done, shared fantasy will crumble, it cannot be sustained. Every time you try to remember something you reconstruct memory from zero.
YT Mind Control - Sam Vaknin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

 Jan 5
We fall in love with ourselves....our idealized self. We don't fall in love with the narcissist, because we can't fall in love with the unknowable but the idealized image.
YT How The Narcissist Puts You In Hypnotic Trance (Amnesia/Dissociation) -Sam Vaknin

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxJF4JgEts

Jan 5
What does entrain mean in psychology?
entrained thinking
A conditioned response that occurs when people are blocked from understanding and using new ways of thinking by the perspectives they acquired through past experience.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/entrained_thinking

 Jan 5
Nobody can live red pilled life. You'd go mad. You need your dissociation, daydreams, fantasies, illusion something to move you to promised land to enjoy daily life. You love, you feel loved, being seen, protected.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifWfvALxWKI

Jan 5
Narcissists are not coming from a core self. They're not coming from this is me, let me share me with you. Because there is no Self there. They're observing like giant eye, hyper-vigilant, watch themselves perform.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifWfvALxWKI

 Jan 5
If you only see the worst in things, you'll miss the best part. Blow out the fire, crack open the burned stuff - you'll find something sweet and gooey inside. You just have to look for it.
Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022)

 
Jan 6
"Wake up men. You are part of society. The way you treat others is shaping society."
YT nsjs17

 

 
Jan 6
Psychologists today in the West want to be physicist. They are grandiose and feel like scientist. So they think if they manipulate statistics or work in laboratory, it makes them scientists. It doesn't. Early psychology is discarded.
YT Grannon - Vaknin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 6
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine
I can make it nice or naughty
Be the devil and angel, too
Paris Hilton - Stars Are Blind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC4y5_Nstyw

Jan 6
When the narcissist doesn't have the fantasy defense, and he is in direct contact with reality he becomes aggressive. Clinically a bit psychopathic. Bad object are internalized voices: You're ugly, stupid, inadequate, horrible.
YT Narcissist's Madness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 Jan 6
Narcissist does not see you, there is no external object. They snapshot you, photoshop – idealization, and they continue to interact with photo. Which is why you piss them off if you diverge from photo.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 6
How does narcissist knows that you're safe? He abuses you. If he abuses you and you stay, you're safe. This is the source of narcissistic abuse. Testing. It's a test. He goes further and further, pushes the envelope
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 6
What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try and stop you?
Megamind (2010)

 

Jan 6
Being a hero is for losers! It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what?
Megamind (2010)

 

Jan 6
As you succeed in therapy, the worse you get, you fall apart. In order to escape trauma bond you must become completely different person. You will never go back. There's no going back to before narcissistic abuse.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 Jan 6
When we come across adversity, when we come across abuse, torture, pain – we regress. You employ series of primitive defense mechanisms. One of them is splitting: dividing world in all good, all bad.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 7
Grieve the damage. Realize there is damage internally and lot of it is irreversible. Not everything has a solution, cure, heal. This is American BS. Most things don't have solutions. In psychology healing, cures are semi rare.
YT Narcissist's Madness
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo
 

 Jan 7
Recovery can only take place within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

 Jan 7
Fantasy is relating internal objects as if they're external. It provides safety because you interact with internal objects and you control these internal objects. They're yours, they're inside your head so you control them. Is safe.
YT Narcissist's Madness

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 7
Reality is integrated. In reality you see nuance, subtleties, your expectations, you commensurate what partner can offer. In fantasy, the expectations are infinite. So you set up partner for failure.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 Jan 7
In relationship when you give 100% of yourself you're setting up your partner for failure. Because your partner cannot reciprocate. She cannot give back 100% so she always fails. 100% is fantasy. No one can give 100%.
YT Narcissist's Madness-Grannon/Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 7
The minute you develop these unrealistic expectations of yourself and others, Fantastic Expectations, you're preparing the stage for Devaluation. Because she fails.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar in Bucharest

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 Jan 7
In relationships now you have to have an argument in the first 3 months over what cheating is about 15 f* times and it's never resolved. Nobody has one set of rules. It's more complex, extremely stressful to humans.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 

Jan 7
In 1952 the 1st edition of DSM had 100 pages. Text revision of 5th edition published in 2022 is 1100 pages. How do you explain this? We were complete idiots 60 years ago? Or something substantially wrong is going on.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Seminar

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 7
Abuse is becoming comfort zone when you are in abusive relationship. Gradually you become habituated. It becomes comfortable. You develop comfort zone. You predict behaviour of abuser so you feel safe.
YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 Jan 7
That's irony you feel comfortable. The more you are integrated in abusive relationship, the more you feel comfortable. At some point you stop feeling comfortable. That's when your healing starts. You develop dissonance.
YT Narcissist's Madness

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 7
It depends how you define healing of NPD. If you are talking about behavioural modification, the success rate if pretty high. Can modify behaviour of narcissist to render him less abusive, less abrasive, more socially acceptable.
YT Narcissist's Madness

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

 Jan 7
We use the narcissist grandiosity, we tell him prove you can do it. But this is not accepted definition of healing. It's form of conditioning. Healing means a substantial change in dynamics in internal structures.
YT Narcissist's Madness

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo

Jan 7
My view it is biological, brain. Psychopaths have hope, boderline has huge hope. Narcissists are hopeless. Utterly, it is a cancer of a soul. 4th stage cancer. It's an internal death verdict. It is experience of not being.
YT Narcissist's Madness
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdqQVK4EYZo
 

 Jan 7
I think you have to trust the things you don't understand. God will always lead you through. We couldn't get bitter, we couldn't be filled with resentment. You got to be faithful. After decided what you got to do - start right now.
HOUR OF POWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqAMvPUeQ-k

 Jan 7
We don't burn people at the stake anymore. But we cancel them, destroy their reputation and livelihoods which is out of the playbook of narcissistic abuse. But now is done in the name of some morally righteous cause.
YT Vital Mind Coaching

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFys3mrzC3E

Jan 7
How West German band was allowed on East German TV (Ein Kessel Buntes) in 1980?
We were been taught that Eastern Germany was closed, isolated and behind iron curtain country with heavy Communist censorship of anything stemming from the West.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRNfSB2GJ10

Jan 7
Ein Kessel Buntes ("A Kettle of Colour") was a television variety show in the former East Germany. It broadcast from 1972 to 1992, scheduled to clash with the main evening news on ARD.
The show was meant to compete with those on West German television.
wiki

 Jan 8
Start having song of praise in your heart. Sending odors or aromas? What are you creating? Atmosphere of doubt, worry, mediocrity or atmosphere of praise, victory, abundance.
JOEL OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vVcXSmxLlM

Jan 8
Break the cycle
"I don't understand why my ex gets in touch and then disappears again."
Intermittent reinforcement - someone getting unpredictable rewards for random behaviour

 

 Jan 8
Every fail at changing unwanted behaviour has the potential to make the unwanted behaviour EVEN STRONGER because that behaviour is intermittently reinforced.
Intermittent Reinforcement

 

Jan 9
Otto F. Kernberg suggested that narcissistic disorders of character are foundation of most mental health problems. If we understand disturbances in narcissism we would probably find a theory of everything
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin about Fantasy
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0
 

 Jan 9
What drives narcissism and borderline in its simplest form: The first force is a need to be seen. And the second force is bad object internalization. Narc supply regulates their sense of self worth. At the core – to be seen.
YT Richard Grannon & Sam Vaknin

https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
Want to be seen but not in healthy way. Everybody wants to be seen, narcs do it compulsively. They can't help it. Drive; something you could not control. Superego contains the drive, id. As people age they develop superego.
YT Fantasy Lives of Narcissists
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 

 Jan 9
To not be seen as a child is to die. It becomes issue of survival. Bad object: when you are communicated as child, environmentally or embedded in culture mocked; you internalize belief you are unworthy, insufficient.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 

Jan 9
You internalize other's people view of you as bad and unworthy. And it becomes an inner conviction. You believe it. Adhere to it. It's other's people perceptions that you have internalized. Exposed to constant messaging prior to age 6.
YT Grannon & Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
If you've been exposed to this messaging until age 6, you end up having internal bad object for life. Sending child message you are worthless, stupid – you get borderline. But if you ignore the child, not pay attention to child- narcissist.
Grannon/Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
The very act of seeing someone allow them to separate. Recognize you as external entity. If I don't see you, if I treat you as my extension, my internal object, my luggage - then I will not allow you to separate.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
The highly ambitious person, in spite of all his successes, always remains dissatisfied, in the same way as a greedy baby is never satisfied.
Melanie Klein

 Jan 9
Reality testing is ability to perceive reality properly. Without too much deviation from facts. Borderline refer to you if want to know anything about reality. “Do you think so too?” Narcissist will tell you "am I not genius".
YT Richard Grannon/Sam Vaknin
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
Other people provide countervailing information. Disagree with you, criticize you, mock you, put you down. Reality refuses to collude with fantasy. Reality does not comply, reality does not collaborate.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin about Fantasy

https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
The environment provides you with information/cues and these cues trigger your self states.
If you find yourself among criminals, you will have psychopathic state coming out that comes forward to protect me.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 

Jan 9
Narcissist modifies internal object, partner inside his head. He can afford to lose only external person, moves to next person. This is almost psychotic. Narcissist lives completely inside his mind. Permanent.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin

  https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
When we see narcissist actually being quite resilient and robust to external change, some people say “Oh, they're healthy. They're not falling apart, there is chaos around”. No, they are rigid. Rigidity protect them from external change.
YT Grannon &Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
Narcissism is compensatory, external skeleton keeps locked, firm. All narcissism is compensatory, we used to think differently. In his mind outside object is commodity so he devalues.
To be clear:devaluation &discard has nothing to do with intimate partner

  https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
Client going through terrible pain the sense of rejection from devaluation and discard, it has to be explained to client, to understand at least theoretically, it's really not about you. And it's inevitable. You can't stop it from happening.
YT Nelstill
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0
 

 Jan 9
Message to victims of narcissist – there is painful and hopeful. Painful – you were never chosen. You're not special. You're utterly commodified. None of your properties were relevant because narcissist interacts with fiction.
YT Fantasy Lives of Narc

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
Hopeful message to victims of narcissist – none of it was your fault. And you could have done nothing about it. If your mind is torturing you "if you said/done this", it was doomed from outset. Their need to fantasy.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
The minute people value fantasy more than reality, you have no role –you have no place and you have no contribution, negative or positive. You are not there. You are trigger. You are not partner. Attempt to impose language of health and normalcy is doomed.

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
You're going to try to apply healthy coordinates to borderline and narcissists, and you really can't. You can't because these people are no longer with us. They're not embedded in reality, they react badly to reality
And you are part of reality
YT Nelstill

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

Jan 9
You end up being enemy because you bring reality into lives of borderline and narcissist and challenge their fantasy. Think of reality and fantasy is Ukraine and Russia. You are Ukrainian to Russia. Anything you do can be perceived as hostile.
YT Nelstill

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
If you offer narcissist an advice you imply he is less than omniscient, all knowing. If you offer empathy you imply he is pitiful, you are challenging grandiosity. In borderline, you offer advice you broadcasting her “you're dysregulated”.
YT Nelstill

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=SUSeu3_JsD0

 Jan 9
And if you are dysregulated, your fantasy is at risk. So there is no winning strategy. These people are not built for relationship. They are deeply wedded and committed into their fantasies.
YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin about Fantasy Lives of Narcissists and Borderlines

Jan 9
Your empathy could increase your risk of harm

 

Jan 10
It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

Jan 10
After traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

 Jan 10
Personality formed in an environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

Jan 10
The third stage of recovery is reconnection with ordinary life.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

Jan 10
"Neutrality" actually serves the interests of the perpetrator.
Lundy Bancroft/Judith Lewis Herman

 

 

Jan 10
The abuser usually wishes to reestablish his pattern of coercive control.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

Jan 10
The traumatized person is often relieved simply to learn the true name of her condition.
She discovers further that she is not crazy; the traumatic syndromes are normal human responses to extreme circumstances.
Judith Lewis Herman

 

Jan 10
Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed.
Judith Butler

 

 
Jan 10
An expert knows all the answers - if you ask the right questions.
Claude Lévi-Strauss

 
Jan 10
The more perfect a person is on the outside, the more demons they have on the inside.
Sigmund Freud

 

Jan 11
Avoid questioning yourself

 

Jan 11
Reality Testing (ability/tendency to assess the here-and-now reality) can lead to paralysis.

 

Jan 11
"You're going to be okay, what you're fearing won't hurt you."
Reality Checking

 

Jan 11
Reality check
- people who criticize a lot, are insecure
- those who complain a lot, seldom make actions
- people who insult a lot, are commonly ugly

 

Jan 11
Narcissists are masters at projecting their own feelings of inferiority and inadequacy onto those around them. It's a method for masking how they really feel.
Expose the Narcissist's vulnerabilities.
YT Empaths Refuge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FAVZpp7j5k

 
Jan 11
Narcissists develop the ability to identify their target's weak spots and then use those spots to exert control over them. Sigma empaths not only understand the worries of narcissists but they can feel them as well.
YT Empaths Refuge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FAVZpp7j5k

Jan 11
When you confront a person with what they did wrong and they don't want to take responsibility, they will be using your imperfections as a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Put the focus back on them where it belongs.

 

Jan 11
When people don't tell you the truth what they really are saying is they don't value you or their relationship with you enough to be honest.
Shannon L. Alder

 

Jan 11
Anticipation promotes "pivoting,"-change is constant and no future environment is assured, anticipation enables individuals and companies to prepare for the worst in their decision-making, so that they can move forward, rather than being paralyzed in shock

https://www.entrepreneur.com/growing-a-business/anticipation-is-the-key-to-success/399433

 Jan 11
When you can't reach the standards of another's heart, you must ask yourself:
"What value do I put on my soul that I would subject myself to such rejection?"
Shannon L. Alder

 
Jan 11
What is predator avoidance strategies?
Animals can therefore avoid attracting a predator's attention by minimizing cues of their presence, such as by remaining silent, seeking refuge, and reducing overall activity levels when risk of predation is high.
https://nature.com/scitable/knowledge/library/behavior-under-risk-how-animals-avoid-becoming-23646978/

  Jan 11
Young American explained why she left Croatia:
"In Croatia people constantly express intrusive opinion about matters which are none of their business. The most irritating things were rude people."
https://poslovni.hr/lifestyle/amerikanka-napusta-hrvatsku-neucinkovitost-i-birokracija-te-ljudi-koji-nemaju-motiva-za-napredovanjem-u-poslu-358422

 

Jan 12
How do you fight gossip and slander without making everything worse? Those of us who have been suppressed, not listened to, not supported emotionally as kids - it is better to express ourselves badly than not at all.
YT Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yv3GUqgYsaY
 

 Jan 12
We can only speculate and it is waste of time to speculate. We just got to get peace inside.
"Do You Owe an Apology for Lashing Out at People Who Mistreat You?"
YT Crappy Childhood Fairy

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=yv3GUqgYsaY

Jan 12
The only way to get better at something is to fail forward!
YT joy hope

 

Jan 12
When you’re initially having to be stern and forceful with people to assert yourself, sometimes it has to be EXTRA. Purely because they’re accustomed to steamrolling you and don’t respond to polite or moderate boundary reinforcement.
YT Louisa Watt

 

Jan 12
people who treat others poorly need to know consequences exist. I found that bullies tend to be more cautious if you stand up for yourself, It’s better to be treated like a dog on rabies than a doormat they can step on.
YT Kanna Hashimoto

 

 Jan 12
I love going off on people who’ve abused me. I’ve never once regretted going after an abusive person, and I never will. I enjoy telling people to f*ck off. It’s quite freeing, and the more people I’ve told off, the more people like me.
YT tosca donna

 

Jan 12
It's very important to be rude, insulting and disrespectful to abusive people." Faced with his mirror image the narcissist recoil."
Says Sam vaknin
YT Kaavish Naz

 

Jan 12
How Suppressing Your Emotions Might Make You Less Likable
It doesn’t feel good to fake who you are, and an increasing amount of psychological research is showing how — and why — it hurts.
SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY
https://thecut.com/2015/08/suppressing-emotions-might-make-you-less-likable.html
 

 Jan 12
The amount of mind chatter we have is directly proportional to the quantity of suppressed emotion. Release those emotions and the mind becomes quiet.

 

Jan 12
Positive thinking is really just another form of denial.
Colin Tipping

 

 Jan 12
The seesaw effect: pressing on one side of will raise the other

The See-Saw Effect – What You Suppress Your Partner Will Express
https://greendoorrelaxation.net/2015/05/07/the-see-saw-effect-what-you-suppress-your-partner-will-express/

 Jan 12
Eventually, he leaves them because he can’t stand being yelled at anymore. Until he embraces his own anger and learns to acknowledge and express it appropriately, he will always attract somebody who expresses this deeply buried emotion for him
seesaweffect

https://greendoorrelaxation.net/2015/05/07/the-see-saw-effect-what-you-suppress-your-partner-will-express/

Jan 12
We disown certain energies because we have learned it is “bad” to feel or be a certain way.
However, somebody else will express it for them whenever one person tries to bury an emotion.
The seesaw effect
https://greendoorrelaxation.net/2015/05/07/the-see-saw-effect-what-you-suppress-your-partner-will-express/

 Jan 12
Your words might kill someone
think twice before using them

 

Jan 12
Emotion & Skin Reaction
Extreme anger or anxiety: Hives, allergic reaction, itching, inflammation
Anxiety: Redness and rashes
https://annmariegianni.com/emotions-and-skin/
 

 

 Jan 12
Not everyone has the same heart as you.

 

Jan 12
When you think from your past memories, you can only create past experiences.
Dr. Joe Dispenza

 

Jan 12
A mask tells us more than a face.
Oscar Wilde

 

Jan 12
How to cope with a narcissist? The short answer is by abandoning him.
Sam Vaknin

 

Jan 12
There is a major difference between one's True and reflected-self.
Sam Vaknin

 

 
Jan 13
Raging narcissists usually perceive their reaction to have been triggered by an intentional provocation with a hostile purpose.
Sam Vaknin

 Jan 13
Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism.
Sigmund Freud

 

Jan 13
There are no facts except that this boy is different, doesn't conform to your ideas of what a man is. This is judgement by prejudice and I resent it. "He is not like me; therefore, he is capable of all possible crimes".
Tea and Sympathy (1956)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOhuoooCQzA

 Jan 13
Narcissism in moderate amounts is not harmful to health.
Massimiliano Allegri

 

Jan 13
Narcissists burn your sanity, erode your self-esteem, and make you doubt your own judgments and perceptions.
Invajy

 

Jan 13
Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.
Elizabeth Bowen

 

 
Jan 13
Narcissist Personality Disorder
One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated.

 

Jan 13
Narcissism is a powerful form of emotional abuse.
This sophisticated emotional abuse tactic makes victims question their own sanity.
Invajy

 

Jan 13
Reason can wrestle and overthrow terror.
Euripides

 

 Jan 13
When helping you is hurting me
https://slideshare.net/ohioreach/when-helping-you-is-hurting-me

 Jan 13
If you feel that life is too hard now,
it does not mean it will be hard tomorrow.
https://slideshare.net/ohioreach/when-helping-you-is-hurting-me

 

Jan 13
Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be Younger but they will never be you.
Be yourself and the right people will love you and you'll love yourself more too.
M. Scott Peck

 

 
Jan 13
We cannot let another person into our hearts or minds unless we empty ourselves. We can truly listen to him or truly hear her only out of emptiness.
M. Scott Peck

 
Jan 13
Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs.
M. Scott Peck

 

 Jan 13
The fact of the matter is that our unconscious is wiser than we are about everything.
M. Scott Peck

 

Jan 13
The denial of suffering is, in fact a better definition of illness than its acceptance.
M. Scott Peck

 

Jan 13
All human interactions are opportunities either to learn or to teach.
M. Scott Peck

 

Jan 13
Evil is revolting because it is dangerous. It will contaminate or otherwise destroy a person who remains too long in its presence.
M. Scott Peck

 

Jan 13
Sooner or later, if they are to be healed, they must learn that the entirety of one's adult life is a series of personal choices, decisions.
M. Scott Peck

 

Jan 13
The more honest one is,the easier is to continue being honest, just as the more lies one has told, the more necessary it is to lie again. By openness, people dedicated to the truth live in the open. Through exercise of their courage to live in the open, they become free from fear

 

 
Jan 13
Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.
Albert Einstein

 Jan 13
Some signs of repressed anger:
- feeling the need to control many things in your life
- having difficulty setting boundaries, standing up for yourself or saying no
- avoiding people or isolating yourself when upset

 

Jan 13
You realize you're not crazy. You're around somebody who's making you believe you are.
So many people invest themselves "Can I get this person to change. Can I be better? Do different?"
Stop. That's not going to change.
YT Mel Robbins / Dr. Ramani

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

 Jan 13
Rubber band theory of personality - we all have our personality, rubber band sitting there, but we can stretch it. A bit. But in times of stress we go back to our baseline personality.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr. Ramani

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 13
Agreeableness is considered counterweight to narcissism. Narcissism personality style is disagreeableness or antagonism. Agreeableness: empathic, warm, flexible, make accommodation for other people, follow the rules, highly ethical. Opposite of narcissism.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

 Jan 13
Narcissism: low empathy, very entitled, arrogant, egocentric, chronic validation and admiration seeking, need to be in control all the time, poorly emotionally regulated, strong shows of rage if frustrated not getting their way, thin-skinned at feedback, criticism, superficial.

 

Jan 14
Give evil nothing to oppose
and it will disappear by itself.
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

 Jan 14
Never ever call out narcissist. It depends what you want. If it's gotcha moment, ok. They're gonna rage at you, scream at you. And smear campaign now. They will be telling you're the one narcissist. And they're not going to change.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
If all it is for you to say "I see you", I think the better way to do to play that now change your behaviour. Stop being supply to them. Stop engaging with them. Stop taking the bait. "You didn't call" - say: “No, I haven't”.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
True North is you need to figure out what in your life is worth fighting for. True North is What is healthy for you? When clients tell me 'I feel guilty', I'm like Tell me what you did wrong? Where is that wrong?
Axiom to that is not doing what they want is "wrong".
Mel Robbins

 

Jan 14
The reason you feel guilty is because if you don't do what they say that's wrong. That's what you were trained to believe. If parent like that or in relationship, you're almost indoctrinated into believing not doing is wrong.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s
 

 Jan 14
What happens is Tantrum throwing, the shaming, gaslighting I didn't say that, toddler tantrum, is what actually has trained you to believe that not doing something that that person wants is wrong. That's why you feel guilty.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
The only path in healing is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Why are you willing to tolerate pain in gym and you're not willing to tolerate pain here? Pain is pain, folks.
How empathic, authentic people protect ourselves from narcissists?
Mel

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
The hardest thing in the world is to be authentic. Because it is to be unpopular, to blaze your own trail even when people are stigmatizing you, giving you side eye “What are you doing”. “People don't do that”
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

  https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
Authentic people feel tremendous guilt but also feel committed to potential in them and people they care about. Ultimately giving in to this person's abuse is not doing me any favors for sure,it's not doing people I care any favors
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

  https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
Giving in to this person's abuse is not doing them any favors because it is reinforcing them in this sick cycle and I don't want to be part of this. Authenticity is not easy, authentic have smaller social network than other people
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani
 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

 Jan 14
Some people say authentic people are selfish, they're cold, they're uppity, they'll paint them in “who do you think you are”. And all authentic person is trying to do is draw boundary against unhealthy people. It is not easy to do.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
All of us have moments when we're not graceful. What we need to look at is how quickly and authentically we make amends. Quickly say That is not ok, I take responsibility for that. Me having bad day is not your problem.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
Narcissists will never apologize. Unless publicist makes them, or because they try to save face. Or narcissistic apology “I'm sorry you feel that way”. I nod to that and I got to jump, close conversation. Some say this is passive aggressive, but there is no move forward.

 

Jan 14
One thing so many survivors are afraid of I don't want to lose my empathy and my compassion. Empathy and compassion doesn't mean you hang out and be someone's emotional punching bag. Not get into mud with them when raging at you.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr. Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
You do recognize that narcissists are having their pain. But empathy and compassion doesn't mean you remain forever someone's prisoner. Narcissists are not thinking about you unless they need you. They need supply.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr. Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
Narcissistic people care deeply how things look to the world. So it looks good to the world if you show up. Supply is not about having loving compassionate Thanksgiving. 'I need to look good.' 'Tell me I have big family.'
YT Mel Robbins/Dr. Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
Narcissistic people feel entitled to you being there when they want you there. We're talking about narcissism so you can spot it and get distance from it. So that you understand; It is not about you. If feels like it is.
YT Mel Robbins/Dr. Ramani

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=1gS7uV6Bj0s

Jan 14
In general, when bad thing happens in your life, very often, you sort of get used to it. And too often when there is something chronically bad in our lives, we get used to it. We don't leave because what if we get something worse?
HOUR OF POWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk44ZwK1WBo

 Jan 14
Most of us are not former prisoners or convicts, but we do the same thing in our lives sometimes. We get used to that old thing that's bad for us but at the same time, it feels like safe. We run back to old relationship,job, safe place even it's bad for us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk44ZwK1WBo

Jan 14
The reason God doesn't put new wine in you is not that he doesn't have new wine ready. It's that you're not ready to receive it. If God puts new wine in old wine skin, it will harm the wine skin and the wine.
Hour of Power

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk44ZwK1WBo

Jan 14
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me
(MTV VMA 2009 live)

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F-m2dQrbIE

Jan 14
To ensure that one's opinion, idea, or point of view is heard, understood, or has an impact, especially amidst competing voices or opinions.
"Make your voice heard" - Farlex Dictionary of Idioms
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/make+your+voice+heard

Jan 14
What is agreeableness?
Agreeableness is a personality trait that describes a person's ability to put others needs before their own. Those who are more agreeable are more likely to be empathetic and find pleasure in helping others and working with people who need more help.
thomas

 

 
Jan 14
The Otherworld goes deeper than you think.
Y Mabinogi / Otherworld  (2003)

 

 Jan 14
I'm still the same happy, adjusted, polite young lady. People say I'm quite sophisticated for my age. That's only skin deep. Underneath the veneer, I'll bet my simple, healthy instincts against yours any day!
Inside Daisy Clover (1965)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RLEW90Dwb1c

 

Jan 14
U.S. States by Agreeableness
https://reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/dtath8/us_states_by_agreeableness/
 

 Jan 14
In 2020 I wrote this "The Agreeableness Theory" manifesto.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2020/12/the-agreeableness-theory.html

Jan 15
Those who lived in truth on Earth are summoned to this gate.
Ra: Path of the Sun God (1990)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=LzXq7t_pLE4

 

 Jan 15
...this is all you need to know.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2022/05/retort.html

 
Jan 15
People "without social anxiety" do feel social anxiety, too. Perhaps even more than you do! However, their methods are totally different since they never medically examined their own emotions.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2022/06/banned-post-on-reddit-all-people-have.html

Jan 15
It is easy to go through life being defined by how we were raised, what we saw modeled growing up, what people have said, or mistakes we've made. We end up wearing those labels. Average, Not talented, Unattractive.
JOEL OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

Jan 15
This distorted image is keeping us from who God created us to be. How you see yourself will determine how high you will go. It is possible to live your whole life and never recognize who you really are.
JOEL OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

Jan 15
There is a potential on the inside that you have not yet tapped into. But if this is going to happen, you can't see yourself as weak, lacking, inadequate. Tune all that out and get into agreement with God. One of a kind.
JOEL OSTEEN

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

Jan 15
“I'm dealing with these weaknesses”. That distorted image is going to keep you from shining. What a tragedy to go through life and never discover who you really are. Are you wearing labels that are limiting you?
JOEL OSTEEN

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

 
Jan 15
“Dysfunctional” Who put those labels on you? Who told you that was who you are? Quit letting other people define you and go back to who God says you are. People will tell you you're not good enough, talented enough.
JOEL OSTEEN

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

 Jan 15
“I don't have courage, skill, expertise”. No, don't let your wrong perception keep you from your greatness. Take off all those negative labels, Unqualified, wrong family, intimidated. How you see yourself will set the limits for your life.
JOEL OSTEEN

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

 Jan 15
He would live and died and never discovered who he really was. You are not what people say you are. You are not limited by how you were raised. You're not what your feelings say you are. Your feelings don't always say the truth.
JOEL OSTEEN

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

Jan 15
Don't let your feelings determine your identity. Feelings are fickle. Feeling will come and go. You have to go back to what your Creator says. He calls you masterpiece, prize possession. He didn't realize he was the answer he was asking God for
JOEL OSTEEN

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

 Jan 15
When we are always looking for others, always counting on someone else, it's because we're overlooking what God put in us. There is leadership in you, talent, wisdom, creativity. Don't discount who you are.
JOEL OSTEEN

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw

Jan 15
Paul said in Romans 8, The entire universe is standing on tip toe, yearning to see the unveiling of God's glorious sons and daughters. Paul is saying, all of heaven is waiting for you to recognize who you are.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vTPVs3VXBRw
 

 
Jan 15
You don't respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you respect.
Lundy Bancroft

 

Jan 15
People-pleasing is a part of personality trait - it's opposite than narcissism. And if pathologized - it will cause personality distortion in nice people
That's the reason why narcissists mock people-pleasing as being sissy, or unmanly, sick, pathology-so that we become monsters

 

Jan 15
One of the penalties for refusing to participate - is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
Plato

 

Jan 15
If you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time.

 

Jan 15
This is a cocoon, and inside he's going through changes. Lots of changes. This is called a metamorphosis. It's a change in form and in appearance.
Gremlins (1984)

 

Jan 15
The other night I had a dream that something is buried under this Lunar mountain circle region, some kind of ancient satellite crafts.
I love sci-fi dreams, don't get those very much.

 

Jan 15
Before you call the repairman... turn on the lights, check the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds. Because you never can tell. There just might be a gremlin in your house.
Gremlins (1984)

 

Jan 15
"Finding yourself" is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.
Emily McDowell

 

Jan 15
Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless.
B. F. Skinner

 

 Jan 15

From the primordial explosion emerged the fire of Chaos. Chaos merged with Darkness and from this union were born the elements: Night, Day, Matter and Air.
Hercules (1983)

Jan 16

Why CNN Europe is showing Countdown to 2023? It is January 16th.

 

 

 

 Jan 16

We cannot reject reality and keep sane in the same time.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/01/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety-2023.html

Trust in other people - Europe

 Jan 16
researchers believe that agreeableness has both genetic and neurobiological influences. Agreeableness is also associated with human development and progression during the lifespan. People tend to become more agreeable as they age.
https://choosingtherapy.com/agreeableness/

Jan 16
The DRD3 receptor is located in the limbic system of the brain, the area involved in emotions, cognitive functions, and endocrine activity. Therefore, researchers believe that agreeableness has both genetic and neurobiological influences.
https://choosingtherapy.com/agreeableness/

 
Jan 16
D3 agonists display antidepressant effects in rodent models of depression. Apomorphine has the ability to help PD patients with their cognition awareness. pramipexole has the capability to prevent and slow down cell apoptosis as well as to restore damaged neural networks
(wiki)

 

 Jan 16
Children who experience positive parenting grow up to become agreeable adults. Children who are exposed to an angry parenting style, especially from their mothers, grow with less agreeability and more neuroticism.
https://xcode.life/genes-and-personality/how-genes-influence-your-agreeableness/

Jan 16
Characteristics of People With High Agreeability
Can easily make and retain friends
Show high levels of empathy and altruism
Are well-liked
Are modest
Cooperates easily with other kinds of people
Are easy to please
Are less assertive
difficult to make tough decisions
(xcode life)

 Jan 16
A 2010 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology asked a group of 104 people to interact and play a game together. The study concluded that members were not very happy with people who are very agreeable and tried to push them out of the group.

 
Jan 16
Both low and high levels of agreeableness can be problematic. Highly agreeable people fall into group thinking.
Getting your people-pleasing nature under control and knowing when to say no to people can help achieve the right level of agreeableness.
https://xcode.life/genes-and-personality/how-genes-influence-your-agreeableness/

Jan 16
When we are in toxic surroundings, it stays hard.

 Jan 16
A teller of the tallest tales inspired by his fertile imagination.
The Fabulous Adventures of the Legendary Baron Munchausen (1979)

 Jan 16
Agreeableness refers to how people tend to treat relationships with others. Unlike extraversion which consists of the pursuit of relationships, agreeableness focuses on people’s orientation and interactions with others (Ackerman, 2017).
https://simplypsychology.org/big-five-personality.html

Jan 16
A longitudinal study of real-life impressions supported the laboratory evidence that agreeable people are highly sensitive to both the prosocial and antisocial behavior of others.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21562148/

Jan 16
The Pollyanna principle (also called Pollyannaism or positivity bias) is the tendency for people to remember pleasant items more accurately than unpleasant ones.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna_principle

Jan 16
A common psychological phenomenon whereby individuals give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that supposedly are tailored specifically to them, yet which are in fact vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnum_effect

Jan 16
Depressive realism is the hypothesis developed by Lauren Alloy and Lyn Yvonne Abramson that depressed individuals make more realistic inferences than non-depressed individuals.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

Jan 16
Our physical condition and mood affect our ability to retrieve memories.
The Pollyanna Principle

Jan 16
Mood-Congruent Memory:
The tendency to recall experiences that are consistent with one's current good or bad mood.
If you are depressed, you will likely recall sad memories from your past.

 Jan 16
Post-apocalyptic Pollyanna

 

Jan 16
1. We have to realize the problem before we can fix it.
2. If we ignore the problem, it will only get worse.
3. We only grow from overcoming adversity, not from prosperity.
3 Reasons Why Pollyanna Syndrome is Unhealthy

https://www.independentlyhappy.com/pollyanna-syndrome/

 
Jan 16
With Pollyanna Syndrome, you ignore the stress, or you wish for a nonstressful environment. In toxic relationships ignored their unhealthy treatment.
“We ignore the negative at our peril.”

https://www.independentlyhappy.com/pollyanna-syndrome/

Jan 17
3 Ways Pollyannaism is the Best Mindset
1. Pollyannism adds realism to optimism
2. Pollyannism is consistent with Christianity
3. Pollyannaism boosts creativity

https://www.independentlyhappy.com/pollyannaism/

 Jan 17
As long as we’re aware of the negative, a positivity bias can benefit us. While a positive focus makes us feel better in the present, recognizing and helping solve a problem or injustice can make more people happier in the long-term.

https://www.independentlyhappy.com/pollyannaism/

Jan 17
The Consideration Maxim:
Minimize the hearer's discomfort/displeasure;
maximize the hearer's comfort/pleasure

 

Jan 17
"Minimize the expression of disagreement between self and other; maximize the expression of agreement between self and other."
The agreement maxim

 

Jan 17
Ikea Effect
The IKEA effect is a cognitive bias in which consumers place a disproportionately high value on products they partially created. The name refers to Swedish manufacturer and furniture retailer IKEA, which sells many items of furniture that require assembly. (Wikipedia)

 Jan 17
Rogers maintained that many of us have very strong, strident, specific conditions that must be met before we will grant approval or acceptance. We also base self-worth and regard for others on achievements or appearance, rather than accepting people as they are.
CARL ROGERS, DK

Jan 17
Entrainment
"We train ourselves over a period of years to be able to hear rhythms and anticipate combinations of sounds before they actually happen."

Sam Vaknin: Verbal abuse entrains the brain. The abuser creates in your brain specific wave patterns.

 

Jan 17
Feeding and Routine behaviour
VS
Social avoidance, predator avoidance and physiological arousal

 

Jan 17
Depressive realism is the hypothesis developed by Lauren Alloy and Lyn Yvonne Abramson that depressed individuals make more realistic inferences than non-depressed individuals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism
 

 

Jan 17
"Depressive Realism" is a theory that people suffering from depression may actually have a more accurate perception of reality than those with healthy minds.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

 
Jan 17
Depression presents itself as a realism regarding the rottenness of the world in general and the rottenness of your life in particular.
Jonathan Franzen

Jan 17
Dualism / Double binding:
Mentally healthy people over-estimate the condition (well-being) of the world.
VS
Pollyanna syndrome, the name being taken from a book of the same title, means “an excessively or blindly optimistic person.”

 

Jan 17
Is everything here the best thing ever?

 

Jan 17
I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy.
Franz Kafka

Jan 17
Overall, the research into depressive realism has shown that individuals with depression may see reality more clearly than non-depressed people and this may lead them to make more accurate decisions and judgments.
https://verywellmind.com/what-is-depressive-realism-6891266

Jan 17
Barnum Effect:
Tendency for people to believe that vague personality description uniquely apply to them.
("How did you know ?!")
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnum_effect

Jan 17
Always be wary of vague statements that may apply to anyone.
Always question the authority of the source you are consuming.
The Barnum effect/ the Forer effect / the Barnum–Forer effect

 

Jan 17
The Five Possible Foundations for Thought

 

Jan 17
Existence of Negative politeness in social anxiety means we were exposed to trauma, abuse, bullying/mobbing, punished and forced into fawning.
Like anti-bodies found in blood test for a virus or foreign intrusions in body.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2022/07/accepting-social-anxiety.html
 

Jan 17
When I do not have ability to disagree, to consider alternative responses other than Negative politeness - I will attract toxic people. Being stuck with Negative politeness and fawning trauma response - means not having any boundaries.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2022/07/accepting-social-anxiety.html
 

 Jan 17
How to be Negatively Polite in English

Jan 17
Being polite is so rare these days that it's often confused with flirting.

 

Jan 18

Every moon of Mongo is a kingdom. My father keeps them fighting each other constantly. It's a really... brilliant... strategy.
- Why don't they team up and overthrow him?
- Team up? What does that mean?
Flash Gordon (1980)

Jan 18

Drink this. It will make your nights with Ming more agreeable.
- Will it make me forget?
- No. But it will make you not mind remembering.
Flash Gordon (1980)

 

Jan 18

The Sure Fire Way To Failure: Try To Please Everybody
You can care about other people without caring what they think.
DAN LOK
https://youtube.com/watch?v=K6ip508PfzM
 

 

Jan 18

Every thousand years I test each life system in the universe. I visit it with mysteries, earthquakes, unpredicted eclipses. Strange craters in the wilderness. If these are taken as natural, I judge that system ignorant and harmless. I spare it.
Flash Gordon (1980)

 

 Jan 18

Love has no accounting or ledger or Quid Pro Quo. We invest it because our heart insists without any demand of return.
Khader Khan

 

Jan 18

Guy Deutscher’s argument is that, under certain circumstances, the language we speak can affect how we interpret the world around us.
https://goodreads.com/book/show/8444621-through-the-language-glass
 

 

 Jan 18

The key to understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder is that the entire formation of the personality is based on a false self. So they have hyper-idealized vision of themselves that protects them from world realities.
YT 7 Ways to Narc Mortification

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

When reality creeps in,all of these are reflection. NPD defies reality of the false self and causes the narcissist to wake up to the fact that they're living inside of a delusion. And this creates mortification
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narcissistic Mortification

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Narcissist thinks of himself compelling, superior, wonderful, charismatic, attractive, so when you defy that vision of themselves as being all-important, the centre of the universe, let them know you're not impressed by them.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Operate outside the fixed view they have of you. Someone with NPD is very rigid, very stubborn, stiff in view of world. They don't see you as a separate person. In narcissist world there is one human; them.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narcissistic Mortification

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

When they get to know you, they have a very rigid, very stubborn and usually simplistic view of who you are. They have false view of themselves: all-knowing, special. Also they have false view of other people.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narcissistic Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Long enough timeline they will reveal to you that their perception of you is quite significantly wrong. "Oh, you're the type of person who would..x" "I know you love to do...y". And you think, Where do you get this?
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narc Mortification

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

They have false delusional vision of you, it's fake. When you show them they're delusional by acting outside their rigid, simplistic, fixed view of you, this can generate narcissistic mortification. This is toddler worldview
YT 7 Ways to Narc Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Reverse Uno card. They draw you in to get rid of you, this is always end goal. You were always going to be discarded. You were chosen to be with and then to discard. Play the reverse. Do that do them. Devalue them.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narc Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

They do understand meta-communication because they are hypervigilant. Meta-communication is not the content of what you are saying, so much as the way you are saying it. Your tone of voice, volume, micro expressions.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narc Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

They don't care if you love them of hate them as long as they are significant. Devalue-Discarding renders them insignificant. False self loses energy and they panic. Because that's all they have – false delusional self
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narc Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Narcissist on border with psychopathy is common, they boundary breakers, they push limits. They overplay. And they move into area where they don't have expertise, experience, much control. Point out they make mistakes.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narc Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Idea that they could be wrong defies the False Self and creates narcissistic mortification. Next phase is rage. They start vociferously attacking the source that has proved them to be wrong. That's the sign you've got them.
YT 7 Ways to Narc Mortification

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Stop offering them supply. It is not shifting to rudeness and loathing, disrespect and contempt. Don't do that. Turn down all emotional content. No emotionality in relating to them. Find them a little bit boring.
YT 7 Ways to Cause NarcMortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

When you respond with upset, when you beg for mercy, when you cry, when you are outraged, threaten them with dire consequences, when yo shake – all of that is emotional content. Turn down the supply by detaching emotionally.
YT 7 Ways to Narc Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Get on with your own life. There is tendency, they've brainwashed you into turning your face to sun. "Look at me" over and over again. Brain gets conditioned, I must look to what they think, what they're doing.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narcissistic Mortification

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

 Brainwashed by narcissist,you will be reduced to their narcissistic level of thinking. Toddler way of thought "They broke my toy and now I have to steal and broke from them". Do not engage in tit for tat battle
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narcissistic Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

Jan 18

Use this as opportunity to become more emotionally mature individual. There is a desire to turn you into them. It satiates the ego. When you individuate: "I am a person separate to you". Get on with your life.
YT 7 Ways to Cause Narcissistic Mortification

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02yDlyRA0rc

 Jan 18

And the rest of the neighbours, they're really very nice. There's no need to be nervous. They're so eager to meet you! You just have to be yourself. Just your own sweet self.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)

 

"it is so easy to commit embarrassing blunders, but etiquette tells us just what is expected of us and guards us from all humiliation and discomfort." Yes. Boring.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)

 

Eyes are useless when the mind is blind.

 

The years spent in isolation have not given him the tools to judge right from wrong. He's had no context. He's been completely without guidance. His awareness of what we call reality is radically underdeveloped.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)

 

Jan 18

Furthermore his work, the garden sculptures, hairstyles and so forth, indicate that he's a highly imaginative character.
- But will he be all right out there?
- Oh, yeah. He'll be fine.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)

 

 Jan 18

What happened to him?
- I don't know. I guess they pushed him too far.
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

 Jan 19
Agreeableness gene:
The activity of the D3 subtype receptor is mediated by G proteins which inhibit adenylyl cyclase. This receptor is localized to the limbic areas of the brain, which are associated with cognitive, emotional, and endocrine functions.
https://genecards.org/cgi-bin/carddisp.pl?gene=DRD3

Jan 19
Assertiveness is marketing ploy, it does not exist.
When we say "No" we will be perpetual victim to whom we are saying no to. Saying No to false accusations of Cluster B people who cause drama and conflicts out of nothing, just for the conflict's sake.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/01/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety-2023.html

Jan 19
What is all this "glad" business you talk about?
- Oh, just a game I play. Helps sometimes. When things aren't going so well. If you knew how to play the game, then you could find something to be glad about too.
Pollyanna (1960)

 

Jan 19
Well, Pollyanna, it's a strange thing about arguments. At the time they seem very important. But now... You know, I can't even remember what it was about.
Pollyanna (1960)

 

 Jan 19
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." "Abraham Lincoln."
Pollyanna (1960)

 

Jan 19
Anyway, he said it started him thinking. And from then on, he was going to look for the good in people. That's when we both started searching through the Bible for the texts. You know, the happy ones, like, "Shout for joy" There are 800 happy texts. Did you know?
Pollyanna (1960)

 

Jan 19
after four years in this congregation, I don't even know you. I look out to you now not as my congregation, but as people, and I say to myself, how sad it is to have missed those four years. Four years when we could have been friends.
Pollyanna (1960)

 

Jan 19
Now, what I have to say now is very difficult for me, but it must be said.
I should have been looking for the good in you, and I... I failed you. And I apologize for this. God is forgiving, but it's not God's forgiveness I beg, it is yours.
Pollyanna (1960)

 

Jan 19
Invalidation often leads to emotional distancing, conflict, and disruption in relationships, as well as feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, confusion, and inferiority in the affected individual. Psychologist Marsha M.

https://khironclinics.com/blog/invalidation/

 
Jan 19
Emotional abuse can affect a child's emotional development, including: feeling, expressing and controlling emotions. lacking confidence or causing anger problems. finding it difficult to make and maintain healthy relationships later in life.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/

Jan 19
Psychological abuse effects:
An air of silence when a particular person is present.
Withdrawal or change in the psychological state of the person.
Insomnia.
Low self-esteem.
Uncooperative and aggressive behaviour.
A change of appetite, weight loss/gain.

https://www.coventry.gov.uk/coventry-safeguarding-adults-board/safeguarding-adults-life-stories/3

Jan 20
When they are mean, gaslight you, visualize imaginary bell around you. Visualize something to help you stay grounded. In order to protect yourself you are going to need a boundary.
YT How to Handle a Narcissist without Losing Yourself

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7i-ZTezsut0

Jan 20
If we could choose our natures. Whatever our natures are, we must fulfill them or our lives... my life would have been filled with dishonesty. Even more dishonesty than there actually was.
Wilde (1997)

 
Jan 20
Take away my belief in life, destroy my faith in the order of things, convince me everything is just chaos, disordered, damned, diabolical, drive me to despair - I shall still want to go on living.
This thirst for life is typical Karamazov trait
The Brothers Karamazov/Dostoyevsky

 

Jan 20
What's amazing is that such an idea - the idea of necessity of God - could enter the head of such a savage and evil creature as man, an idea so holy, so moving, so wise.
The Brothers Karamazov (1880) by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 20
The whole of existence, was created purely according to Euclidean theory; they even venture to suggest that two parallel lines, which according to Euclid cannot meet on earth under any circumstances, will perhaps meet somewhere at infinity
The Brothers Karamazov/Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 20
Clarity in absurdity. Absurdity is direct and guileless (innocent), whereas the intellect is evasive and illusive. The intellect is a blackguard (abuse), but absurdity is undeviating and honourable.
The Brothers Karamazov (1880), Fyodor Dostoevsky
book 5/3

Jan 20
So one of the worst things are people who are insecure. A lot of people turn aggressive and envious and ugly because they're very insecure about themselves.
YT Observe people better | Robert Greene

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9e6PBZbAP2k

 
Jan 20
And their way of protecting is to attack other people out of insecurity. So people who appear very macho, very aggressive, are actually riddled with all kinds of insecurities, revealed through their body language.
YT Observe people better | Robert Greene

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9e6PBZbAP2k

Jan 20
Boardroom meeting with very powerful people and generally one man tends to present this very aggressive front. And yet you see that his foot is shaking like this or some body language doesn't match his words.
YT Observe people better | Robert Greene

 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9e6PBZbAP2k

Jan 20
You realize that he's playing a game. He's trying to disguise all of these weaknesses. And so therefore if you can recognize that people aren't nearly as powerful and intimidating as they actually are then in their presence you don't get emotional.
Greene

 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9e6PBZbAP2k

Jan 20
For many years, I mistaked that for confidence and a dominant personality. Ever since I read through it, I see how many people are actually insecure. And it’s everywhere.
everyone has insecurities. And I mean, EVERYONE.
YT elenakanak

 

Jan 20
I used to work for a millionaire and I noticed he would try to bring me down a notch and I always wondered why would he attempt to do that when he's already rich until I realized I intimidated him
YT ALPHA MALE ACADEMY

 

Jan 21
If you're making a difference in life, you're becoming enemy to somebody. There are people who just do not like those who stand out from the crowd. Especially when it comes to personal character.
HOUR OF POWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bIYVHE72Ow

 Jan 21
You're not what you do. You're not what was done to you. You're not what you've lost. You're not what you're going through. You are not what you experienced. You're not what your parents said about you.
HOUR OF POWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bIYVHE72Ow

Jan 21
Become the person who were you called to be. If you choose to be all that you were made to be, you choose to be criticized and ridiculed, it is coming. The longer you do it, less you will care what people think or say about you.
HOUR OF POWER
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2bIYVHE72Ow
 

 Jan 21
It's time to get weird for God. Anyone who is worried about visible is not worried usually about what is invisible. And it's important to focus what is happening in invisible places in our lives. In our heart.
HOUR OF POWER

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bIYVHE72Ow

Jan 21
If someone is giving you a hard time, try agreeing with them. That's it, simply agreeing with them. If they say you're hopeless, agree with them "you're probably  right, I am". Your intention here is to stop them trampling all over you and leave them with no place to go.
Nice F.

 

Jan 21
Agreement has a startling effect on bullies. Every time they criticize you and you agree, they simply don't know where to go. He never bothered me again. He just went and found someone else to bully who didn't know how to deal with his scare tactics.
The nice factor book

 

Jan 21
Sometimes self-restraint is a mature and appropriate response. But if it is never, or rarely, voiced then you are carrying quite a heavy load of feelings that have nowhere to go.
The Nice Factor Book: Are You Too Nice for Your Own Good?
Book by Jo Ellen Grzyb and Robin Chandler

 Jan 21
Why do you think that Truman has never come close to discovering the true nature of his world until now?
- We accept the reality of world with which we are presented. Simple as that.
The Truman Show (1998)

 

Jan 21
When narcissists do a bad thing, they feel some degree of shame and guilt. Shame is more of a public emotion focused on the judgement of others, rather than regretting. A psychopath simply don't care who gets hurt.

https://medium.com/invisible-illness/psychopath-sociopath-or-narcissist-how-to-spot-the-difference-94a4e55c2f0d

 Jan 21
Every psychopath is narcissistic but not every narcissist is a psychopath.
A psychopath is someone who tends to be calculative, cunning, manipulative, exploitative, lacks empathy, and doesn’t think or care about the consequences of their actions.
https://medium.com/invisible-illness/psychopath-sociopath-or-narcissist-how-to-spot-the-difference-94a4e55c2f0d

 
Jan 22
'Paradise', he said, 'is concealed withing each one of us, it is hidden in me too at this moment, and I need only to wish it, and it will come about the very next day and remain with me for the rest if my life.'
The Brothers Karamazov (1880)
Novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 22
In order to refashion the world, it is necessary for people themselves to adopt a different mental attitude. Until man becomes brother unto man, there shall be no brotherhood of men. First there must be an end to the habit of self-imposed isolation of man.
The Brothers Karamazov

Jan 22
But it is certain that this terrible isolation will come to an end,and everyone will realize at a stroke how unnatural it is for one man to cut himself off from another.People will be surprised how long they have remained in darkness and not seen the light
The Brothers Karamazov

Jan 22
Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you don't see it right now, but when it's finally revealed it will blow you away.

 

Jan 22
Pay attention to everything and the truth will reveal itself.

 

Jan 22
Unquestionably Free means there's nothing draining your joy, nothing hindering your potential, nothing limiting your relationships. God's idea of freedom is not make you more comfortable in dysfunction, it's to free you from dysfunction.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://youtube.com/watch?v=4KLzlB4tamc
 

 Jan 22
Life is too short to have things lingering that are holding you back. Sometimes we don't realize how restricted we are. How constrained we've become. Don't get comfortable in dysfunction.
Stir yourself up.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://youtube.com/watch?v=4KLzlB4tamc

 Jan 22
Everything hidden will be revealed.

 

Jan 22
Narcissists install a mental filter in our heads a little bit at a time. "Will he get upset if I do/say/think this? Will he approve/disapprove? Will he feel hurt by this?' Until we can uninstall the narcissist-filter, our action are controlled by narcissists to some degree
Vaknin

 

Jan 22
Narcissistic people are highly competitive. Basically, they see life as a contest. Furthermore, narcissists believe they must win because narcissists use winning as a means of proving uniqueness and perfection.

 

 Jan 22
Each time you say your prayers, provided you are sincere, there will be a new spark of emotion and, along with it, a new idea, previously unknown to you, which will raise your spirits anew, you will understand that is education.
The Brothers Karamazov
Novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 22
Be not afraid of human sin, love man even in his state of sin, for this is already a likeness of divine love and is the highest love on this earth. Love all of God's creation, every kind of thing. Then mystery will reveal itself to you.
The Brothers Karamazov
Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 22
If you are surrounded by bad-tempered and insensitive people who do not want to listen to you, fall down before them and ask their forgiveness, for, verily, you too are to blame that they do not want to listen to you. Carry on serving them in silence, hope.
The Brothers Karamazov

 Jan 22
The host is the body of Christ. That is it! Don't believe it's a mere symbol. You must take it literally!
- Father, I'd like to ask you...
What happens to the body of Christ inside your stomach?
The Milky Way (1969)

 

Jan 22
The body is the prison of the soul. The soul, to free itself, must gradually become separate. The body must be humiliated and detested and constantly subjected to the pleasure of the flesh so that the purified soul may return after death to its celestial abode
The Milky Way(1969)

 

Jan 22
Plato never forgets that the human mind is a very hostile environment for goodness.
Bernard Williams "Plato"

Jan 22
We must escape our illusions of correctness to understand the actions and beliefs of others.
Bernard Williams

 Jan 22
Unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life.
Bernard Williams

 

Jan 22
We grow a little every time we do not take advantage of somebody's weakness.
Bernard Williams

 

Jan 22
To people like you, education is just a necessary evil. You can't see it, so it's worth nothing. The things we can't see are the most important things on this earth. They're called ideas.
Peyton Place (1957)

 Jan 22
The minute they walk out that there door,they walk into a dog-eat-dog world. It's crawl in front of the big dogs if you want to eat, get a job. I won't do it! That's why I'm washing windows, scrubbing walls, emptying ashes. Shakespeare didn't do me no more good
Peyton Place(1957)

 

Jan 22
You can learn to live by yourself. You can get used to it.
- Maybe, but that doesn't make it the best way to live.
- The best way? What would that be?
- People meeting, talking. Time shouldn't just pass, Mrs. MacKenzie. It should be used. Begin by getting out
Peyton Place (1957)

 Jan 22
Allison's a girl of quality.
- Dad, quality's a good thing in woolen cloth, but it's very dull on a big date.
Peyton Place (1957)

 

Jan 22
Aren't you afraid people will think you're fast?
- Allison, according to my philosophy, what other people think will not pay the rent. If you're accused of being fast, you might as well run. That way you get to all the good things first.
Peyton Place (1957)

 

Jan 22
I guess I wanted to get knocked off or something. But as soon as I got away from my mother, I suddenly realized how wonderful life really was, and then I fought like a tiger to stay alive.
Peyton Place (1957)

 

Jan 23
Whatever watches the mind, is not the mind, it is greater than the mind - it is Awareness - and this is your true Self.

 

Jan 23
How CBT explains this when we cannot buy our exit?
What happens when we are forced to be humiliated, abused, exposed to psychological abuse by someone who is mimicking being normal?
#socialanxiety
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/01/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety-2023.html
 

 Jan 23
It is vulnerability that the person is expressing becomes like aphrodisiac to some toxic narcissistic people.
YT it’s not the tears that turn toxic people on, it’s the vulnerability

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/k6mw_RZex40

Jan 23
You say you want to buy clothes, but you don't know what kind. You leave it hanging in the air like I'll fill in the blanks. That's like asking me who you are, and I don't know who you are.
Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

 

Jan 23
Where do you get your ideas?
- You have to understand something about art. It comes from some place.
Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

 

Jan 23
Nobody knows anything. We'll take this leap and we'll see. We'll jump and we'll see. That's life.
Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

 
Jan 23
Psychopathic personality traits and Corporate labels

 

Jan 23
Psychopathic tendencies,
20 traits used in the Dr. Robert D. Hare Psychopathy Checklist

 

Jan 23
The charm begins to wear off when the narcissist believes they've secured your faith and trust in them.

 

Jan 23
Cana of Galilee, the first miracle. It was not people's grief, it was their joy that Christ was sharing.
Whosoever loves the people, loves their joy too. Without joy, one cannot live.
The Brothers Karamazov (1880)
Novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 24
Long-Term Narcissistic Abuse Can Cause Brain Damage
Narcissists keep their victims in a constant state of anxiety and fear, which in turn causes their victims to react from his or her amygdala (or reptilian brain).

https://psychcentral.com/blog/liberation/2017/10/long-term-narcissistic-abuse-can-cause-brain-damage#1

 Jan 24
So I'm trying to get from where I am to the door. But there are mines there. I have to jump, climb up, do parkour, just trying to get to the door. If you watched me and mines are invisible, you think "What are you doing?"
YT RICHARD GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QJ7NOCOusD8

Jan 24
"Just walk across to the door." And I would say "I can't. There are mines there." But you can't see them because they're in me. So when people view the behaviour patterns of victims of abuse, they get frustrated, annoyed. "Why don't you just leave"
GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QJ7NOCOusD8

Jan 24
"Why don't you just tell him to f* off?" "Just sack her" "Tell your boss to do this" "Go and get another job"
That's fine. It's great when you're outside of it, but they can't see the invisible mines that we're trying to avoid.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QJ7NOCOusD8

Jan 24
The tendency to use negative politeness forms, emphasizing the hearer's right to freedom, can be seen as a deference strategy. It can be the typical strategy of a whole group or just an option used on a particular occasion. It is impersonal, emphasizes the hearer's independence.

 

Jan 25
"Remember, being normal in a sick society is no hallmark of being healthy. Sometimes, it is okay to be weird."
YT Witty Mystic

 

Jan 25
We need people on a practical level, we need relationships if we are going to heal wounds of trauma. Which are largely relational wounds. They were caused by what happened between you and other people.
YT Crappy Childhood Fairy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K68drcHZkac

 Jan 25
Problem with relationships that are all on the periphery of groups make it really hard to develop meaning in your life. You need some friction, some contact with people to develop social skills. Staying on periphery you don't get that,keeps contact shallow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K68drcHZkac

Jan 25
By playing it safe you stay stuck. You need to be taking some risks to grow you comfort zone a little wider. There are these normal ups and downs having friends and being part of groups.
YT Trauma Wounds Flare When You Try To Be Part of Groups?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K68drcHZkac

Jan 25
Avoiding people leads to self centeredness. Not sharing yourself with other people it's an emergency protection measure, but it's not a way to live your whole life. Possibility of sharing yourself is all around you. When you show up for people.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K68drcHZkac

Jan 25
Isolation sounds to peaceful as option. But if you allow isolation to take root, long term it will take over. Your very worst trait will have huge fertile space to take root.  People in isolation grow crabbier, self-centered, more bitter, more paranoid.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K68drcHZkac

 
Jan 25
People who are harboring toxic shame are absolute narc magnets. Once they love bomb you and gain your trust they adept at getting all your secrets out and using them against you in abusive way, devaluing you, more shame building.
YT Maria McMahon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBGP-dlPU4Q

Jan 25
We are so used to their shameless behaviour they feel untouchable. Makes a scene, throws tantrum. Totally removed how they affect other people. For you being so used to them being untouchable that we carry the shame. Who should be ashamed of themselves?
https://youtube.com/shorts/gRlbJftXPLI

 
Jan 25
Toxic shame happens when other people treat you poorly and you turn that treatment into a belief about yourself.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-toxic-shame

Jan 25
Diogenes (412?-323 BCE) of Sinope was an ancient Greek philosopher who rejected the hollow values he saw in Athenian society. One sign of that integrity was his practice of carrying a lantern around Athens in the daytime as he looked for an honest man.
(baltimoresun)

 

 Jan 25
I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?
Diogenes

 

 Jan 25
The only way to gall (bold and impudent behaviour) and fret (a state of anxiety) effectively is for yourself to be a good and honest man.
Diogenes

 
Jan 25
Playing roles and acting are forms of lying. If a person acts like they really feel and it rocks the boat, they are ostracized. We promote pretense and lying as a cultural way of life. Living this way causes an inner split. It teaches us to hide and cover up our toxic shame.
J.B.

 

Jan 25
The best way to torture your enemies is to always be in a good mood.
Diogenes

 Jan 25
You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.
Aristophanes

 

Jan 25
Toxic guilt twists the truth & blinds us to the reality of the situation.
Susan Carrell

 

Jan 25
Movie poster for 1958's film-noir "The Case Against Brooklyn"

 

Jan 25
Sister Sufi, TWITTER:
My defensiveness is interesting. What am I defending?

 Jan 25
Condemn the deed not the doer.
Valis, Philip K. Dick

 
Jan 25
What we have here is a Zen paradox. That which makes no sense makes the most sense. I am being caught in a sin of the highest magnitude: using Aristotelian two-value logic: "A thing is either A or not-A." (The Law of the Excluded Middle.) Aristotelian two-value logic is f*cked.

 

 

Jan 25
the more she had to do with someone or something the more she resented him, or her or it
Valis, Philip K. Dick

 

 
Jan 26
Same problem again and again: There is an assumption as human being as you, I exist solipsistically inside my own head, and projections and simulations I make of other people are based on me, my experience.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_B7PL9xWdY

Jan 26
In the process of healing any trauma if you identified CPTSD elements, you really, really must have a very good relationship with yourself. You ability to relate to your own self is critical. There are no quick fixes.
YT CPTSD: how to heal from it
https://youtube.com/watch?v=w_B7PL9xWdY

 

Jan 26
We have to change neural pathways, if you want lasting change for yourself. Trauma based pathways have become habits, but they're deeper than habits because they're unconscious. They make it hard to go, show up, do job.
YT RICHARD GRANNON

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_B7PL9xWdY

Jan 26
We have to recondition the old neural pathways. It's the same as martial arts training or strength training. It takes time and repetition. You're not sick,there is no cure because you're not sick. Therapist can help to condition yourself
YT RICHARD GRANNON

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_B7PL9xWdY

Jan 26
You need different mindset, different approach. Are you gonna torture yourself? Are you gonna make it as hard as possible? Are you gonna bully yourself? Be like angry sadistic drill instructor? Bullying didn't help to create end goal.
YT CPTSD: how to heal

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_B7PL9xWdY

Jan 26
It involves tons of reps. Day after day. Because if you went through your childhood being conditioned. If you want to have a job but getting on public transport exhausts you, you want better than that.
YT CPTSD: how to heal from it
RICHARD GRANNON

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_B7PL9xWdY

 Jan 26
Clearly you're very emotionally dysregulated and boundary-free to the point where you're just so hyper-sensitive that you cease to function as an adult in the world. That's you problem, not everybody else's problem.
YT Oversensitivity
RICHARD GRANNON

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR49SQvdxCg

 Jan 26
498
Everyone must be an image of his and her affection or love, which means we must be outwardly what we are inwardly.
"Heaven and Hell", (1758)
Emanuel Swedenborg

 

Jan 26
The power to heal our lives is in within us all. It's just that the way we've been taught to see ourselves is dysfunctional. Our childhood programming may have taught us or brainwashed us to believe we are not good enough.
Lisa Romano

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

 Jan 26
When that becomes your point of focus, way you live your life, you are brainwashed out of believing that you have the power to heal your life or that you are enough. So you spend life looking for validation outside of you & attract people to validate them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
We tend to attract people that reinforce that dialogue – negative self talk. If I'm afraid that I'm not good enough, I will attract people that make me feel I am not good enough. No matter what I do for this person it will not be good enough.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

 Jan 26
If I was treated as not good enough as child, I have to stay small, I'm just in the way, and if I smile all the time and act as I don't have any needs, then I experience less pain in my outside world. As adult I stay small, not having voice.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
I think by thinking I am going to take care of everybody else - that in doing that I will avoid trauma, I will avoid criticism, and people will ultimately like me, she is such good girl, has no needs, no problems, easy to get along with.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
As adults in dealing with other people we don't have the dialogue to go back to someone who makes fun of us, because we have opposite of that kind of self talk. New train of thoughts being born: and new concepts begin to expand, out of the box.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

 Jan 26
Less you worry about people making fun of you, the less other people are going to pick on you. We all have radar, ESP. In the first 30 seconds a human being has already analyzed person they are talking to, is person insecure or confident.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
Understand that people who make fun of us, they are afraid of being made fun of. And that's why they make fun of other people. That's why they try to keep focus over here so tables never turn and make fun of them.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
In most cases, someone you go toe-to-toe with, they will vomit all over you. They will say “You are too sensitive. You're being crazy.” and make it seem like you are too sensitive.
If you care about someone you don't look to exploit them.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
When someone picks on me and I feel shame – that is because someone tried to make me feel shame. And they're throwing their shame onto me. That shame can't land on me if I don't accept that shame. Start pushing that back.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
People like this who like to cause chaos and drama, mostly there's a mean streak in them. When you begin to turn the tables, they up the ante. They could get angry, not going to apologize. Go back at her until she gets picture: enough is enough
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
When people make fun of you, understand that they are vomiting all over you, and their worst fear is to have turn the tables on them. You either walk away, stop hanging out with them, or give them little dose of your own medicine.
Lisa Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
But be prepared. Once you give someone like this a dose of their own medicine they come back and you got to be strong enough to stand there until this person understand not me anymore. You'll understand you don't have to tolerate that from people
L. Romano

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTxu7_zIvc

Jan 26
They woo you with songs and a clover ring,
But if you examine the goods they bring,
They have little to offer but the songs they sing
And a plentiful waste of time of day...
And a plentiful waste of time...
September Song · Lotte Lenya

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf2zNfNigBI

Jan 26
johnny-come-lately
(noun)
a newcomer to or late starter at a particular place or sphere of activity

This term originated in the early nineteenth-century British navy as Johnny Newcomer, it was changed to Johnny-come-lately, first appearing in print in Charles F. Briggs's novel.

 

 
Jan 26
Our conscience, our ability to moralize and criticize the rampant desires of the Id, is the realm of the Superego. It provides us with our sense of right and wrong. It encourages us to remain within the boundaries of social expectations and cultural norms.
Id, Ego, and Superego

 

Jan 26
Freud himself saw the Ego as more of a mediator in a strictly hierarchical structure,driven by the demands of the Id while at the same time confined within the boundaries of the Superego.
Id, Ego,and Superego
Sigmund Freud, 1920
1001 IDEAS THAT CHANGED THE WAY WE THINK
Robert Arp

 

Jan 26
I am overcome
Holy water in my lungs
I am overcome
Beautiful drowning
This beautiful drowning
Live - Overcome (2001)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzDFyoFwVpA

 
Jan 26
We're always free to choose
never free enough to find
Live - Overcome (2001)

Jan 27
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Anaïs Nin

 

Jan 27
Codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated. Rather the root cause needs to be addressed. It all begins with attachment trauma. Love being conditional and judgmental.
YT Ross Rosenberg
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Qdq6bo6XQYk
 

 Jan 27
Core shame is a distorted belief being fundamentally being bad or flawed. Such toxic shame reduces person to feel only good when they take care of others while ignoring themselves. Feeling invisible, worthless, unlovable.
YT Ross Rosenberg

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=Qdq6bo6XQYk

Jan 27
Attachment trauma resolution occurs when a person in therapy safely explores their repressed and hidden childhood trauma by bringing their long forgotten hurt child experience forward, light it, accept sad reality, let it go and integrate in conscious mind

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=Qdq6bo6XQYk

 Jan 27

I'm safe if they're calm. And they learn to rely on that. They're addicted to your problem solving and your helping. Meanwhile they're not getting strength that they need to work through their own problems because you're taking care of all.
YT Samuel Chase

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBoEIDnsX5w

Jan 27
We end up with perception that person has on us that they're projecting on us instead of standing in our truth. Because I had low self worth, didn't know how to stand up, I would default to being nice. Because I take care of their concerns.
YT Samuel Chase
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nBoEIDnsX5w

 

I spent all the time trying to defend their perception of me, trying to control how they thought about me. Which is not my business. I need to stay out of their interior. My codependency made it they couldn't learn, but they're still responsible for it.

 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nBoEIDnsX5w

Jan 27

Being perfect is so boring. When you talk with someone pretending to be so perfect, it is so annoying, you know it is not true. People who are too nice, too proper, you know they are secretly psycho.
Miley Cyrus

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iHYZqbDixJI

 Jan 27

Philosophers such as Kant say it is in our own best interests to believe in God, and therefore in the morality that comes from faith, because to try  and live with the weight of morality's complexities would be too much for anyone to bear alone.
1001 ideas that changed the way...

 

Jan 27

Proponents of Divine command theory thus find themselves facing the proposition that cruelty might be morally permissible, indeed necessary, if it is pleasing to God.
Divine Command c. 450 BCE
1001 ideas that changed the way we think
Robert Arp

 

Jan 27

"Socrates was one of the first to question this theory. He asked whether we call the GOOD good because the gods have done it or whether they have done it because it is GOOD. His question implies the possibility of the existence of a standard for the GOOD separate from the divine"

 

Jan 27

My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can't be loved as I am..
Anaïs Nin

 

Then you read a book, or you take a trip, and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. It appear like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death: absence of pleasure.
Anaïs Nin

 

Anything I cannot transform into something marvelous, I let go.
Anaïs Nin

 

Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again.
Anaïs Nin

 

You cannot save people, you can only love them.
Anaïs Nin

 

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.
Anaïs Nin

 

Good things happen to those who hustle.
Anaïs Nin

 

Worlds self made are so full of monsters and demons.
Anaïs Nin

 

We do not escape into philosophy, psychology, and art - we go there to restore our shattered selves into whole ones.
Anaïs Nin

 

The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.
Anaïs Nin

 

Pain is something to master, not to wallow in.
Anaïs Nin

 

The Earth is heavy and opaque without dreams.
Anaïs Nin

 

Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It creates the failures. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.
Anaïs Nin

 

Jan 27

Let us leave psychology aside, let us leave medicine aside, let us leave even logic itself aside, and let us just consider the facts, simply the facts, and see that they can tell us.
The Brothers Karamazov (1880)
Novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Jan 27

Germany has Bravo magazine for teens.
1980s Yugoslavia had ITD magazine.

 

 Jan 27

People will ultimately get what they deserve.

 

Jan 27

We need to produce people who know how to act when they are faced with situations for which they were not specifically prepared.
Seymour Papert

 

Jan 27

Physics 101: Hot metal moving fast makes an electromagnetic field. This spinning liquid outer core is the engine that drives the EM Field. This engine has stalled. The core of the Earth has stopped spinning.
The Core (2003)

 

 Jan 28

Life will not get better when you get better job, boss, spouse. Your life gets better when you get better. Don't try to change universe. Choice is always up to you by becoming person you were born to be, person you want to be.
HOUR OF POWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtOBOzeV3UA

Jan 28

God has a language, it is not English. God's language is knowledge. So when he speaks to you it comes as Epiphany. And it is clearly stamped on you and you get it.
HOUR OF POWER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtOBOzeV3UA

GIGO Garbage In – Garbage Out in terms of words you are taking in. Think how many good words you are receiving right now. If you hear word of God it will build you up, bring you closer where you want to be, it is immensely valuable.
HOUR OF POWER

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtOBOzeV3UA

There are so many words that are Taco Bell, they are not sin, they're fun but do it too much it starts to have impact on your life, it is garbage. Stop, turn it all off. Television news is garbage. Incoherent, impotent and irrelevant.
HOUR OF POWER

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtOBOzeV3UA

Jan 28

Here's better way to think of it – Power In Power Out. The more good words you get in, the more power goes out. It gets better when you stop blaming, labeling those stuff. Get better when you immerse your life in kind of words you were called to be.
HoP

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtOBOzeV3UA

Jan 28
Image narcissists try to sell to the public and then there is underlying true self. Anybody who likes themselves, loves themselves isn't going to be so hell-bent on proving to the world how great they are, superior they are.
YT MedCircle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRMhS6oeehY

Jan 28
In a healthy romantic relationship there's intimacy. Both people are willing to be vulnerable. Neither person ever cares about something called power – who has more power at the given moment.
YT These Are the Signs Someone Was Raised By a Narcissist
MedCir

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRMhS6oeehY

Jan 28
One of the hallmarks of someone who is raised by a narcissist is the overachiever who is telling themselves if I achieve this or that then finally I'll be good enough. “You will be loved if you meet this various stipulations in the contract”
YT MedCircle

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRMhS6oeehY

Jan 28
The dark empath uses cognitive empathy to get intel. Now they are learning about you. You think you're getting empathy. It's almost surgically precise how conversation is happening. Then they say You're like that crazy family aren't you?
YT The Dark Empath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4tY9CPvr8Y

 Jan 28
When someone shared with you a vulnerability, the family and the pain – you'd never bring that out in an argument. Dark empath will do that all day, because that is a way to control you. “Now there is something wrong with you.”
YT MedCircle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4tY9CPvr8Y

Jan 28
When you feel toxic shame, you see yourself as useless or, at best, not as good as others.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-toxic-shame

Jan 28
You feel shame when you believe you’re not enough, usually because parents or peers keep telling you so.
Guilt tells you, “That thing you did was wrong.” Shame tells you, “Because you did that thing, you’re a bad person.”
https://webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-toxic-shame

 

Jan 28
You never judge me.
- God will judge you.
- God will also understand me.
The Brothers Karamazov (1958)

 

Jan 28
You are like Russia itself:
all strength, all exaltation, without any brake, ...unpredictable.
The Brothers Karamazov (1958)

 

Jan 28
Nothing will be settled here. All you want is a scandal.
The Brothers Karamazov (1958)

 

Jan 29
Get rid of the image of a defeated you, a lonely you, a victim you, and start seeing yourself as restored you, a blessed you, a happy you. You're moving toward the picture you have in your mind. Make sure that picture is something that you want
JOEL OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-kRUrdXKA8

 Jan 29
To stand outside just looking in
Has got to be all wrong
The good times are coming
They'll be comin' real soon
Cass Elliot - The Good Times Are Coming (1973)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rgLW-RUrkY

Jan 29
People don't determine your destiny.
As long as you can't imagine it, as long as you can't see it, it's never going to happen. How many of us are missing the great things because our vision is limited?
I can imagine me defying odds.
JOEL OSTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-kRUrdXKA8

Jan 29
Cass Elliot' beautiful performance at Carol Burnett Show (s4e8), 2 Nov. 1970
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8rgLW-RUrkY
 

  

Jan 29
101 years ago
"Washington Theatre is crushed by snow, 50 to 100 dead; roof caves in on audience of 500; many still in ruins; 29 inches (74cm) of snow bury capital"
Sunday, January 29, 1922
https://timesmachine.nytimes.com/timesmachine/1922/01/29/issue.html
 

 

 
Jan 29
I don't like this segregation of the sexes. Men are pigs, but after 10 P.M., they are absolutely indispensable. No?
The Journey (1959)

 

Jan 29
The one thing you can't take away from me is the privilege of saying no.  You don't understand that. Well, if you could make a tour of your jails, you'd find men stinking like garbage. But there is a holiness about them that comes from their having the guts to say no.
The Journey

 

Jan 29
The things you do to weaken US only give US strength to survive and anger. Yes, anger. Deep, dark anger. Anger that used to be love until you and your kind made it curdle and turned it into hate.
That's the one thing I'll never forgive you for... Making us hate!
The Journey(1959)

 

Jan 29
The movie poster for "The Journey" (1959)

 

Jan 29
Jamaica

 

 Jan 29
Emancipation Park in Kingston, Jamaica:
The prominent sculpture at the entrance of the park is of a black male and female looking up to the skies. It symbolizes a triumphant rise from the horrors of slavery.

 

Jan 30
Go through fire and all doubts
Geh' durch Feuer und alle Zweifel

With all the dreams and all the worries
Mit allen Träumen und all den Sorgen

I want to be by your side
An deiner Seite will ich sein

Mark Forster - Übermorgen

youtube.com/watch?v=1tD41isys1o

 Jan 30
That is social anxiety:
How to handle people with whom you must be in interaction and who hate you just for you being yourself?
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/01/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety-2023.html

 

Jan 30
That is why ACE test is the first pit stop for anyone with social anxiety - to check how much we do not have natural immunity against narcissists and psychopaths around us due to detrimental toxic exposure to abnormal people while we grew up.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/01/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety-2023.html
 

 

Jan 30
SEL
Social & Emotional Learning
https://youtube.com/shorts/28QY9NSzlgA
 

 

Jan 30
Sever the link between who you are and validation. Sever the link between who you are and success. If I did this then I am good enough means by default without that action I am not good enough.
YT JulienHimself

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ZHLeOijT1d0

 Jan 30
If you are in a job and you have toxic colleague, or toxic boss, if you can get away from them, if you can quit your job, if you can move to another part of office, do it. Because it's worth it. It will damage you emotionally.
YT Robert Greene

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/T9fPYNNSF1U

Jan 30
If you can't get out, you have to develop a habit of detachment. And not taking things personally. And oddly enough when people sense that, that they can't push your buttons, it has powerful effect on them.
YT Robert Greene

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/T9fPYNNSF1U

Jan 30
Someone was suggesting if you need to set boundary you just need to keep repeating yourself. Can you imagine the end result if you kept repeating a boundary to a narcissistic person? It's just not going to work.
YT Dr. Ramani

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s49OzVxgEeM

 Jan 30
Principle = Good
Syndrome = Bad

 

Jan 30
By God, I mean a being absolutely infinite - that is, a substance consisting in infinite attributes, of which each expresses eternal and infinite essentiality.
Spinoza

 

Jan 30
I made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail (express great regret, sadness, or disappointment about), not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.
Baruch Spinoza

 

Jan 30
Dr. Richard Maurice Bucke, published a book entitled "Cosmic Consciousness," in which he grouped experiences; Dr. Bucke himself, as well as his friend Walt Whitman, and several other close friends, had experienced flashes of this same stage of consciousness.
"The Secret Doctrine"

 

Jan 30
This higher form of consciousness, when it appears, occurs as it must, at the full maturity of the individual, at about the age of thirty-five, but almost always between the ages of thirty and forty.
"The Secret Doctrine of the Rosicrucians"

Jan 30
The Rosicrucians teach that the human soul is on the path of progress, learning the lessons of life and experience, life after life, and storing away the essence of these impressions which go to form the basis of the "character" of the individual when he is reborn
The Secret Doc.

 

Jan 30
According to the Rosicrucian teachings soul is reborn into certain environments solely because it has within itself certain unsatisfied desires which could be satisfied only in just those environments. Force attracts to the soul certain conditions and experiences.
The Secret Doc.

Jan 31
The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.
Baruch Spinoza

 

Jan 31
Bad sketch of Flash Gordon (1980).

   

Jan 31
Indomitable worth has no attachment on external factor – permission from any people, for you to exist. It doesn't need particular circumstances to exist, it doesn't have permission to exist it is autonomous.
YT Worth Was Freely Available To You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thSyNV_nI3w

Jan 31
I hope you stop fixing yourself and start loving yourself so you can create relationships, the purpose, the success, the fulfillment. Reactions point us to needs, what is trying to tell me? It is message from body
YT Reactions Pointing You To What You Need

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2dhyr_ad7M

Jan 31
We kick immediately to idea that there is something flawed with us and we need to go in and correct so we don't experience this. This comes from being habitually consistently regularly neglected, criticized, denied care for our needs.
YT Marshall Burtcher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2dhyr_ad7M

Jan 31
What if your reactions are signals of what you need. Reactions are these big emotional somatic events we experience when we encounter an event in our life or some situation. These reactions are telling us something about ourselves
YT unmet needs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehveWKRAYQ

 Jan 31
Most of the time we think reactions are a signal that we need to fix ourselves, that there's something wrong with us, that we have to do something to them so that they'll stop happening. Reactions are signals to needs.
YT unmet needs are talking through

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehveWKRAYQ

Jan 31
Our reactions tell us what we need in that moment. When we are able to meet our needs the reactions stop happening. Need for safety, need for attention, need for being valued, loved. These are valid core needs.
YT unmet needs are talking through reactions

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehveWKRAYQ

Jan 31
This anxiety or panic I'm having is telling me I need safety. It's telling me I need to act in my power for myself or have a boundary. It is telling me I don't like something. There's different answers. Telling me I was neglected.
YT unmet needs

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehveWKRAYQ

Jan 31
Change your relationship with your reactions by inquiring within yourself. So when you have a reaction, pause, acknowledge, and observe what that is and ask yourself Reaction what you trying to tell me I need right now? That is how we listen us somatically

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xehveWKRAYQ

Jan 31
Finding yourself hitting limits in what you can allow yourself to have, be or do in your life. Beliefs I should not have this, unworthy – these are emotional walls. Wall is there for a reason. It's there to protect us from something.
YT Emotional Walls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
In trauma reactions there is always to prevent something, to cause something. To cause a sense of safety, connection and sense of value identity, who we are. Also it prevents rejection, attack, harm, criticism, things that wounded us.
YT Emotional Walls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
Behind the wall there is a part of ourselves that had a want or a need that got wounded in seeking that want or need. Not loved and supported. It retreated behind the wall to protect from further pain. Pain keeps wall alive.
YT Emotional Walls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
Appreciate wall, acknowledge it, observe,be present with wall. We connect with our pain with aspect of ourselves that's lived through something. So that we care for that part. Eventually part can open up and see what is possible, explore if it's safe again

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
Being nice we're not suppose to disagree, say no, not upset other people, hurt their feelings, disappoint others. And in reality you actually have to do this things. It's natural byproduct of embodying ourselves.
YT Niceness Is Costing You Your Peace

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
Anger starts to point us to the boundaries that have been violated, to the needs that have gone unmet. And it's asking us to step into our power to advocate for those things. To become kind and honest. Sometimes fight.
YT Niceness Is Costing You Your Peace

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
I was just clear with them. I wasn't going to be nice “I'm sorry it hurt your feelings”. I'd be: “The way you were behaving was disgusting and I'm not going to stand for that. You gotta grow up.” Being direct, confront harm that was going on.
YT Niceness

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
Niceness bypass our own personal authority, our own personal accountability. It bypasses our senses about things, makes someone else priority. Niceness leads to enabling, so they get away with it.
YT Niceness Is Costing You Your Peace

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
We try to force ourselves to feel that way to accomplish that outcome. Emotional perfectionism: I have to feel certain way to get what I want or avoid certain thing.“I should not feel this, I should feel differently” inhibit to heal
YT Emotionally Perfect?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMeRXvr9Vg

Jan 31
When I come into contact with this idea of indomitable worth I gain a completely different identity about myself. I see my experiences differently, I see my wants and my desires differently. I see my limits differently.
YT Your Identity Is Not Who You Are

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmQUwhDKcSI

 Jan 31
Rejection confirms I am a terrible disgusting person. Whereas when I'm oriented to my indomitable worth rejection clarifies where a person fits in my world and where I fit in theirs. Becomes a filter at that point.
YT Your Identity Is Not Who You Are

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmQUwhDKcSI

Jan 31
We hide or change in order to be liked. Transactional experience of I am only valued loved accepted when xyz happens. Then I get xyz to feel safe, connection to be who I am. This taught us to doubt ourselves.
YT Do You Crave Or Chase Approval?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJxxEOTpKso

Jan 31
The more you struggle to live, the less you live. Give up the notion that you must be sure of what you are doing. Instead, surrender to what is real within you.
Baruch Spinoza

 

Jan 31
Emotion which is suffering ceased to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.
Baruch Spinoza

 

Jan 31
Those who know the true use of money, and regulate the measure of wealth according to their needs, live contented with few things.
Baruch Spinoza

 

Jan 31
The best way to overcome undesirable or negative thoughts and feelings is to cultivate the positive ones.
William Walker Atkinson

 

The lives of all of us have been moulded largely by induction through suggestion.
William Walker Atkinson