77: siječnja 2025

What behavior is unacceptable with social anxiety?
What is disorder part in social anxiety?

CBT tell us to simply expose ourselves to fears - but CBT does not understand social anxiety mindset based on ACoA and ACE experiences - where we never learned to have hope and feeling of expectation and anticipation that things will be great for us in the future.
So when we expose and get into contact with vague or abusive people whom we cannot escape or run away from - in the exposure we will not have structure, we won't have scaffolding to support ourselves at all. We won't have structure to help us cross bridges - we won't have plan to better future at all - when we expose. Instead we will have fears and panic because this is what we learned in ACE ACoA. And then we will end up being shy, afraid, anxious - and CBT and neurotypical people will pathologize our traits and fears and order us to be confident. Which will make anxiety worse. But all we need is structure - that we see our future is safe, great, wealthy and abundant and happy. Like - having a lot of money, not depending on toxic people anymore, not being stuck in abuse and oppression - that are structures which we never learned to have in our mind due to abuse.

The point of structure is not that we delude ourselves, the point is not that we build a fantasy - it is the hope that make us create safe place in our mind where we are allowing our cortex brain to build decisions which will help us to handle difficult problems, difficult people and traps we are stuck inside. That is why I would not pathologize social anxiety symptoms - these are helping us to survive difficult people and difficult situations which we cannot overcome at the moment due to lack of money and support and lack of helping structures.

(15.1.2025)

Kevin from Sensitive Stability made me realize something I was not aware before:
that when I expose, when I expand my comfort zone - I will usually put myself down and minimize any achievement. But the reason why I do this - apart from obvious internalized toxic shame and operant conditioning - is actually my outlook - I see any experiment or action as meaningless and I seek approval from other people around me - who will in 99 percent of cases put it down and minimize it. I do not see any of my trials as accountability and responsibility at all. I do not label it as such. I label it as my caprice and consequently something that is crazy, abnormal, anxious, not valid. I invalidate myself without being aware of it and I use labels unconsciously to stay immobile and avoidant and to be ashamed for trying anything in life. I do not see any achievement and any action and any exposure - as accountability and responsibility. I ashamed it instead as irrelevant and shameful - on top of other people's unfair and unjust criticism.
If I labeled my trials and facing fears as accountability and responsibility - I would not put myself down and dismiss it as insignificant...

Fawning is an attempt of healthy mind to get healthy. To throw off cluster b mentality of being trapped in own mind and to serve other people and to connect with the others.

What I come to understand is - that social anxiety is not problem at all.
That is why we cannot feel comfortable - we are attacking wrong things as wrong. We are convinced that we have social anxiety problem - but it is not social anxiety issue at all.
We end up fixing and nitpicking and feeling shame about what we perceive as social anxiety - without realizing that problem is something else.
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Having rigid mindset (due to ACE and ACoA).

By working on our rigid beliefs and making them more flexible.
In real life - it means accepting ourselves as we are. Accepting our soft voice and not hiding it. Idea and urge to feel embarrassed about it is - is causing social anxiety symptoms of panic and shame. The soft voice is not problem. Our urge to hide it and feel shame about it - is the actual problem and disorder.
We believe that our fawning is disorder and soft voice - that this is our disorder and we focus on this exclusively. And then we are stuck in social anxiety believing now that social anxiety is the problem. And try to cure and fix it and hate it and hide it.

It appears as if social anxiety is related to narcissist and toxic people. They are only triggers - they are symptoms. Like social anxiety itself. Removing the symptoms won't remove the trauma, the cause, the core of problem - which is OCD disorder in personality. It is not OCD, it is personality disorder - which means it affects our thinking and decisions without us being aware of it, it makes decisions for us automatically and we are convinced that it is helpful good and productive and functional - but it is not in reality. We are not aware of it due to disorder itself - since disorder has the power to mask it and to set rules and to direct our focus.

Accountability is great test to detect toxic people.
And it is great clue in realization that we are not narcissists when we are open to admit mistakes. Toxic people will blame. That will trigger our trauma - we will shut up and self censor even when we know better, when we know truth, when we know errors and what will happen in the future. When we are silenced and abused into silence - toxic people will harm and hurt us for mistakes and errors - as if it is all our fault. But we never had chance to speak it out due to their abuse, hysteria, yelling, threats, mocking, put downs.
The truth must come out.
CBT tell us to expose - and exposure clears up the fears. When we expose - toxic people will abuse us. We must not interpret their abuse as the truth. We must see their abuse as not taking accountability issue.
CBT is forcing us to see abuse as reaction to our truth as our brain disorder. Which leads to toxic shame and silence and avoidance.
No one explains us the accountability status and its importance. We are highly accountable - but this is ashamed and abused and silenced by toxic people. The toxic people hate accountability - since this is at the core of their disorder and abnormality. This is where the snapshot of what appears as reality to them gets reality tested and it leads to them feeling narcissistic collapse which is painful to them, and which they learned to abuse others as reaction to the pain.
We must be clear and educated enough - to see abuse as their illness, their abnormality, them not taking accountability.
When a person does not take accountability - this will end in destruction and catastrophe because it is not based on reality. Then they will blame once again. Blaming is escape from accountability.

Toxic people force us to develop hyper responsibility. Responsibility OCD. We get groomed to feel responsible for anything that moves while in the same time not receive any rewards - which only go to the predator, the parasite.

What happens in social anxiety is that we take responsibility and accountability - for everything and toxic people add more of it and then abuse and trigger us into fear and shutting up and being quiet slave.
We have obsessive compulsive beliefs which we were trained to have since ACE and ACoA.
This means - when we experience criticism and mistakes - in reality it happens only because we do not have enough experience and knowledge, not by our fault. But in our mind and in toxic people's criticism - there is explanation that we are wrong, inept and abnormal, sick and worthless and we believe in it, even that we are lazy and choosing not to contribute. While we are super workaholics and we contribute 150%. More than enough - and we believe we are not contributing at all - due to toxic people and toxic inner critic voice.

Social anxiety is being stuck in a belief: it has to be that way. Due to abuse, trauma, mostly narcissistic abuse - someone who is mentally ill is forcing snapshot of reality, someone with lack of empathy.

Rigidity and stubbornness stems from the fear of punishment, contempt and abuse. It is not self choice that is self pleasing. It is to escape being harmed, hurt by abnormal sick people usually in power positions.

The motive for the obsessive-compulsive behavior stems from the need to be perfect - due to abusive people holding power and threats over. There is some kind of punishment for not being perfect and operant conditioning where there is learned behavior, learned beliefs, learned convictions which are scaffolding the perfectionism to be solidified.

When dealing with toxic people - there is insight that we should have philosophy how to handle toxic people. It means creating environment where the potential power hungry psychopath would not find narcissistic supply. It means ambient where money and influence is not primary. It would mean not working in corporations. It also means that we do not place ourselves in the place of narcissistic supply - and this means not worshiping others.

CPTSD Foundation
@cptsdfoundation
Dec 31, 2024
Our recovery as survivors is aided tremendously by forming healthy relationships with safe people in an environment where we can find the words where words were absent before.
It is one of the most profound experiences we can have as survivors.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
#Narcissist parents will withhold teaching their kids life skills or lessons because they don’t want to make life any easier on their kids, they want their kids dependent on them for help or answers.
Their objective is to always feel “better than” or “smarter than”, or to remain “dominant” over their kids. But they’ll act like they “did so much” “paid for food and clothing” while they taught their kids nothing. It’s a way to cover up intentionally malicious psychological neglect. Incredibly abusive, not to mention disgusting, deranged, illogical, and tragically emotionally immature
When you ask them questions or for help with something, you’ll notice they will tell you the bare minimum so they can look like they answered your question but you’ll notice that they really try to give you as little information or experience as possible. It’s as if their experience is money, and why would they give anything for free… like it actually offends them
I think it’s an important point to be aware of, they may offer assistance in ways that keep you dependent on them. In those situations it might actually seem like they’re giving you their time or money, but in my experience they don’t share helpful experience that allows you to do things for yourself.

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Dec 31, 2024
Going to New Zealand next week to give a talk. My thesis is that what we call “symptoms” of “mental disorders” are, in reality, inner prompts designed to help us begin a new life chapter. If that’s right, then psychiatry’s disease model actually moves us away from mental health.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Dec 31, 2024
Stop wasting time on people who only love you when the conditions are right for them.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Dec 31, 2024
Fact:
Cruelty stems from weak character.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Dec 30, 2024
You deserve to be surrounded by people who bring out your soft side – rather than those who trigger your survival side.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
A person who finds peace instead of revenge can never be bothered.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Unless you’ve been the victim of a narcissist/psychopath, it’s unlikely you have any idea what they’re capable of, nor could comprehend it.
Plus, no current ‘expert’ has a comprehensive understanding of ‘dark personality’ attributes & tactics due to extensive research anomalies.

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Dec 30, 2024
Narcissists create chaos yet demand peace in return.

Parmenides argued that, for something to exist or be born, it must come from a substance that existed before it, as something cannot come from nothing. All trees come from seeds, all children come from parents, et cetera. If you can speak of something, or think of it, it must have some truth, and be part of the larger, unified truth of the universe.
Kinnu

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
What we call “mental illness” is largely an attempt to grapple with the problems of life: pain, boredom, insignificance. They are prompts to push us to a better way of living. We don’t need drugs, but the space and support to heed their call.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 1
Why does being authentic bother so many people?

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Your soul knows... it will literally tell you when it's time to move on and start a new chapter of your life. Trust it.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
I am no longer available for things or people that make me feel like crap.

KSH
@ksaraholland
Worked in Paris. French did work hard. Vehemently told me why what I asked for was unreasonable, not their role, unrealistic etc. I sympathized and said I needed it anyway. Then they delivered early with astonishing creativity and blew my socks off every time. Just like drama.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 2
Unhealed trauma makes you hold onto people longer than you should and tolerate sh*t you don't deserve because you lack self-worth and don't want to feel alone. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve to be in your life — no matter how much you love them.

ban psychiatry burn the dsm
@antipsychgeist
Jan 1
The DSM says that a normal response to life’s challenges does not constitute an MI. So people rightly try and explain the sources of their “symptoms” to the psychiatrist. Then, in an act of betrayal, the psychiatrist calls you MI anyway, your experiences “contributing factors.”

The Process in BPD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4JiCV0Cnw
31:59 Society has created this world where you're just such an evil person that we desperately don't want to be associated with it.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
What we have to understand is this: Dishonesty doesn’t come second nature to the malignant #narcissist…
Dishonesty is the malignant narcissist’s FIRST and foremost nature.
It’s honesty that feels unnatural to them .

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
The silent treatment is used to manipulate someone and make them feel bad about themselves. No contact is just that. You are done with wanting any further contact.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Please don't spend your time trying to make sense to people who keep hurting you. Their behavior doesn't make sense. Their lack of remorse doesn't make sense. Their assumption that they can treat you poorly & still have a permanent place in your life, does not make sense.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
One of the most dangerous types of people to have around you is people who don’t like you but act like they do.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Victim mentality is a phrase often weaponized by toxic individuals in order to shame survivors for using their voices to create change.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Malignant #narcissist parents will abuse their scapegoat child into PTSD or depression or other signs of psychological abuse trauma,
Then they will use that trauma to make it look like the child had inherent mental problems. (Bipolar has been a popular choice among abusive parents)
This only compounds the effects of the abuse and traumatizes the victim further.
The people that do this to their children are literally monsters, but they will play the victim or the “hero parent“ who is doing “everything they can” to help their “troubled child“.
This abuse tactic needs to be shut down and the only way we can even begin is if it becomes common knowledge that people learn not to fall for.
We need to start holding these abusers accountable.

‪𐕣𖤐Mistress_Death𖤐𐕣‬ ‪@midnightpyredeath.bsky.social‬
"We all have our personal demons...But don't think that they are your enemy...They are always willing to help when no one else can." -me

Consider: maybe it's not social anxiety. Maybe you're just with wrong people. Maybe you don't like small talk? Not interested in shallow conversation? Your BS meter is super accurate. Instead of making yourself wrong just recognize you're not around right people
🔻Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7fouA9HaRhI

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
Have you noticed how much you learn from someone when you tell them NO?

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
cPTSD is a result of not having the freedom (or access) to acknowledge and process trauma. The complex part is because the trauma was ongoing. PTSD represents specific traumatic memories. Complex PTSD presents those memories and experiences having no end.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 5
Growth is realizing they didn't misunderstand you. They feel power by you feeling misunderstood.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
If you really want to see a person's true character, watch how they treat someone that they can't benefit off of.

#socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #socialanxietytips #sociallyawkward #shyness
Plans, predicting – when it goes off the rails you start to scramble and you don't know what to say because it wasn't in your original version. It also prevents you from making mistakes. You are allowed to make a mistake. Silence is golden. There is nothing wrong with moments of silence.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cvOk8RHJ6Uk

Allodoxaphobia
- the fear of other people's opinions. It is not just about being afraid of being judged but also the fear of being criticized, disliked or rejected. May find themselves constantly worrying about what others think even if their opinions are completely unfounded.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lGO9kJLz6Zc

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
Don’t stay in a bad situation for too long because you’ll forget it’s bad and get comfortable.

Alan Richard‬ ‪@alanrichard.bsky.social‬
·
1d
Everything I know at the top I learned at the bottom 🏆

The speed bumps and hiccups are in FAVOR of you 😎

The test is MEANT to be a testimony 😤

So thank God for them be grateful 🙏🏻

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Never judge someone by the opinions of others.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
People will always notice the change in your attitude towards them, but they will never notice it's their behavior that made you change.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
The problem with dark personalities is that they frame gossip or negative nuance about another person in a way that seems supportive.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
There are people you haven’t met yet that will love you without you having to earn it. They'll see you & appreciate you because of who you are. They'll be gentle because of what you've overcome. They'll be consistent because they know what vulnerability has cost you in the past.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 6
I love people who can put their pride aside, apologize, and actually correct their behaviour. That awareness, accountability, and emotional intelligence is so attractive.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities (narcissists, psychopaths) know they’re different from a young age. They know they must disguise their true nature to fit in. If you try & expose one, they will destroy your reputation & actively turn people against you with lies, manipulation, provocation….

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities genuinely believe they are superior to others in particular because they do not emote, so they do not experience fear or shame. They view people who experience emotions as weak and inferior.
They are also extremely entitled. Often dark personalities try and hide their powerful sense of superiority and entitlement. The giveaway though is the very, very subtle smirk. There are other signs too.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Lying to someone who doesn’t believe you anyway is pointless.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
The whole issue with narcissism is very confusing.
Over time several terms have been developed to distinguish between 2 groups of people exhibiting similar behaviours with a different motivation…
Psychopath v sociopath (ASPD), malignant narcissist v vulnerable narcissist, type A psychopath v type B psychopath and so on.
The first group have brain anomalies. The second group exhibit these behaviours based on substantial abuse.
Research indicates the first group cannot be ‘cured’ nor do they want to change because they see themselves as superior.
The second group, unlike the first group, does experience shame, and will voluntarily see a therapist in some cases. With some hard work, the second group can change.
The reasons this is not widely understood includes research methodologies have been substandard, academics have been keen to make a name for themselves and so have often created new names where they’ve not been necessary, there are many fields of study examining these behaviours yet none of them really talk to each other so information can be consolidated, some academics are themselves dark personalities and are invested in creating confusion and so on.
To remove confusion, I call the first group Persistent Predatory Personality.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 6
Energy is very expensive, stop giving it out for free.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 6
Stop telling people in survival mode they need to just “let go.” They’ll let go when they have something they can hang onto. If the memories come on strong, they need to know they’ll never hurt like they did when their life changed without their permission.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
I’ve spent decades working with executives & have encountered a high number of dark personalities.
I’m stunned at the amount of time very senior dark personalities invest in destroying just one person who might try & expose them, either in their personal or professional life.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
In terms of understanding narcissists, it is not a matter of picking someone that you like. 🙂 What is important is that what the expert is saying is based on the voices of thousands of victims and practitioners who have actually worked with narcissists and their victims.
Interestingly, Dr Ramani has interviewed a very powerful narcissist masquerading as a domestic violence victim.
I have considerable data to back this and it will be contained in my second book. The world of narcissists and psychopaths and dark personalities is full of narcissists and psychopaths and dark personalities actively masquerading and misleading.
As a human race, we need to be absolutely crystal clear about the attributes and tactics of those harm by choice or we will continue to be deceived.
That is why I spent five years full-time reviewing all the academic literature from across the world in many different fields that study these people as well as conducting my own research with experts working with dark personalities (and their victims) in both forensic and non-forensic contexts for an average of 22 years each. I am passionately committed to reducing the harm these people impose.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Take Hare’s work with a grain of salt. His books have some interesting and very useful information however his model which informs the PCL – R, the most highly utilised assessment tool in the world for diagnosing psychopaths, does not contain the attribute of control, which my data indicates is their most powerful driver. It also does not contain the attribute of sadism, which my data indicates is another powerful driver of their behaviour. He argues impulsivity is a core attribute of them all which of course can’t possibly be true and many academics have challenged. Much of Hare’s data has been drawn from forensic populations and rather than adapt his model to more current research, Hare has litigated against and character assassinated people who have challenged his work.
I have participated in a program run by Hare in the Bahamas on how to administer to the PCL-R and have had a number of meetings and meals with him.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Highly sensitive people feel everything on a much deeper level. We aren't fooled by words or external appearances. We don't just experience your surface level emotions... we feel your energy shifts, intentions, judgments, lies, and truths.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
There are in fact two types of anger experienced by dark personalities.
One type of anger is pathological, hot and reactive. It occurs when they are thwarted from getting what they want, when their sense of superiority is challenged, or when someone is trying to expose them. The other type of anger is strategic, cold and just an act. It is used to intimidate and control others.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
The thing about complex trauma is it removes you from being the main character in your own life. When you suffer for a prolonged amount of time, survival mode shifts focus on everything external to get by, rather than living peacefully from the center of who you are.

Aim True (Amy Pagett)
@AimTrue7
Jan 6
If you are trying to help someone heal, shaming them won’t likely work.
They already carry enough shame & more will send them deeper into the cycle of recreating it.

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
One thing I’ve noticed is that the same groups of people shouting about bystander intervention, being an upstander, and calling out violence, misogyny, and oppression rarely say anything until the mainstream narrative flows in their favour, and THEN they comfortably stand up, add their voice or write their article or social media post.

If nothing else, this should demonstrate how hard it is to be the first person to stand up and say something when it’s not popular, when no one likes you for it; and when it puts you at some risk.

It looks easy enough, but it takes self-confidence, conviction and resolve - which clearly, many people do not feel they have.

We cannot continue in a society in which 99% of people just wait for someone else to say the thing we are all thinking.

Sometimes, you’re gonna have to be that person who goes first. And it’s not easy, and it’s not very fun. And you might get shot down, or laughed at, or ignored totally.

But we cannot spend our lives waiting for someone else to speak up.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 6
Remember to choose yourself first, then choose who chooses you.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Many abusive or narcissistic individuals engage in a kind of "preemptive rebranding" of their harmful traits. By owning their negative behaviors and presenting them with humor, pride, or as a form of righteousness, they disarm others who might otherwise question or challenge their actions. It can create a false narrative that their abusive behavior is intentional, controlled, or even justified—almost like saying, "I know I’m bad, and I’m owning it, so you can't call me out."
This strategy often relies on manipulating people's perceptions. By framing their abuse as a quirky personality trait or a badge of honor, they encourage others to dismiss it as harmless or even admirable.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Stop selling yourself short and walk into that room like God sent you.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Very true. A narcissist will also not enter a relationship with someone they cannot control or manipulate easily. There are ways that narcissists or dark personalities can identify people who are more vulnerable and more able to be controlled. According to research this includes walking gait, facial openness and other features. They then test early on in a relationship to gauge whether someone can be manipulated by setting up situations that require accommodation, by using intimidation etc.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Everyone always loves how real you are, until you say something they don’t like.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
Why is it that people with good hearts get screwed over the most!
Miss Jo
@this_is_me_Jo
Because people with good hearts generally look for the good in people, sometimes unfortunately at their own peril.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Jan 6
An abuser doesn’t have to forbid, order, or demand their partner do or not do something in order to be controlling. Often, they harass, criticize, insult, belittle, and lecture you so much that you go along with what they want just to avoid the psychological torment! 🚩
Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Jan 7
Don’t forget intimidate. Intimidation is one of the greatest behavioural modifiers and controllers.

‪Linda Beveridge‬ ‪@beachlady1955.bsky.social‬
You can't buy class. You're either an asshole or you have class.

Kate Rowswell 🇬🇧🇨🇦
@katerowswell
Jan 7
Abusers excel in behavioural modification of their victims

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Jun 26, 2024
My abusive husband never told me what I should wear, but I ended up avoiding the clothes he didn’t like anyway 😣This is how coercive control works…

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Love is meant to be a sanctuary of safety, respect, and support not a battlefield of control, fear and manipulation.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Surround yourself with love that makes you feel alive. Life is too short to spend being disrespected, unloved, and undervalued.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Never apologize for not being what they want you to be.

Julia Pappas • Psychologist 🇺🇸
@JuliaPappasJoy
Very true! That is the reason why highly sensitive people need really good boundaries, paired with discernment.

"The light of the Creator is infinite, and from it flows all creation, concealed within layers of veils."
-the Zohar

Lisa A. Romano
@lisaaromano1
Recognizing that a narcissist’s control is rooted in their fears, not your flaws, is the first step to breaking free.

‪Hank Green‬ ‪@hankgreen.bsky.social‬
It’s ok to feel sick over the state of things.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Authenticity has a way of unsettling all the pretenders.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Maturity is when you stop wasting time convincing people to treat you correctly. You just start to observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you’re going to allow in your life.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
When a #narcissist does something insensitive or abusive or disruptive and you call them on it, they will immediately go on the defensive, play a victim role, and make you look like the bad guy for being “mean” or “insensitive“, or “overly critical”, and they will draw other people into this to feel sorry for them.
They react this way because they cannot tolerate being held accountable.
This behavior, often called victim-playing or DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), allows them to deflect responsibility and manipulate others into seeing you as the aggressor. The goal is to shift focus away from their actions and make you question yourself or appear unreasonable to others.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Stay calm. Don’t defend yourself because that’s playing into their narrative, instead, keep the focus on their actions. Don’t defend your actions, focus on their actions. And remain calm. At this point they’re doing everything they can to make you look like the aggressor so don’t give them anything that they can use. And don’t let it escalate because they will likely try to make it escalate. If that fails, disengage.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
#Narcissists are like black holes in society—takers at their core, draining energy, resources, and emotions from everyone around them while giving back as little as possible. Their approach to life is transactional: "What can I get? How much can I take? And how little can I give in return?"
Recognizing this pattern is crucial—not just for protecting yourself but for understanding the long-term damage they inflict. They don't just take from individuals; they take from society as a whole, eroding trust, goodwill, and collaboration wherever they go.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
When you demand an explanation from someone who has experienced emotional abuse, you will not getting an explanation but an innocent person triggered beyond their capacity, trying to prove their worth.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Jan 8
Narcissists/psychopaths use intimidation to get what they want & to stop people holding them to account.
Intimidation may involve aggressive tone, implicit threat, encroaching into body space, standing over, holding eye contact too long, thumping table, designed to create fear.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Don't listen to toxic individuals. You are not crazy or anything else they try to label you with. Standing up for yourself is "not a crime." Boundaries are natural and healthy, don't let them convince you otherwise.

BrainSpace
@jbbz
Boundaries are a form of self-respect, not rebellion. Toxic people often label others to deflect from their own behavior—don’t buy into it. Standing up for yourself is a powerful act of self-care and courage.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Jan 9
As a society I don’t think we disapprove of dishonesty as much as we should.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
An abuser's criticism, anger, or control is not a reflection of you—it’s a reflection of their own insecurities and need for dominance.
Their behavior is about them, not you!
#CoerciveControl

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Jan 9
Someone told me to read ‘Positive Disintegration’ and it is blowing my mind. His view is that what we call “mental illness” happens when your life circumstances are no longer adequate to the demands of self development. An incredibly empowering framework. Thanks
@DeeDreaHamilton

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Normalize not forcing connections with people. If someone does not see the value in having you by their side, it's not your job to convince them.

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
Actually, I’d go further than this. Many systems were designed to crush our spirit - they are not ‘broken’, they are working as designed. Remember that.

Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
@DrDoyleSays
Trauma survivors NEED to take our nervous system's insistence on not feeling trapped seriously.
If we don't leave ourselves an "escape hatch" in situations, our nervous system will create that "escape hatch" for us-- often w/ self-sabotage or suicidal ideation.

Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
@DrDoyleSays
Abuse & neglect dupe us into believing we don't have the right or ability to create a life we like, do work we find meaningful, or choose relationships that are safe & enhance our growth.
But we do.
It's just our "parts" & nervous system we need to convince.

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Jan 10
90% of dealing with what we call “mental illness” is developing a positive and empowering narrative that makes sense of what’s happening in your life. It’s not a science but a mode of storytelling. Psychiatry lies to us when it presents its “medical” story as the sole truth.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Toxic people believe their needs are more important than yours. 🚩

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Victims don’t ‘tolerate’, ‘allow’, or ‘put up with’ abuse – they endure it to survive.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Abusers feel entitled to your attention and disregard your needs. Prioritize your well-being.

Narcissist that is a pillar of community, that is essentially moral and ethical and altruistic and charitable and helpful and compassionate and caring and so on. Or at least pretends to be. Because this is the way this kind of narcissist obtains narcissistic supply.
Can Narcissists Be Constructive, Positive, Productive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCPf7nMZ-0
Sam Vaknin

To understand people, to work with people, to accomplish things you need to be attuned to their emotions. You need to be empathic. And if you are not, your inability to decipher emotions, to read emotions creates impaired reality testing. Because people are part of reality. If you unable to gauge people your reality testing sucks.
And to compensate for that narcissist distort their cognitions. They have cognitive distortions.
So narcissist exactly like someone with autism keeps failing with people. And to compensate for this narcissist distorts his reality and his cognition to convince himself that he is actually good.
Can Narcissists Be Constructive, Positive, Productive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCPf7nMZ-0
Sam Vaknin

Narcissists are fools that can only learn only from their own experience and mistakes. And majority of them never learn at all.
Because they consider themselves omniscient or endowed somehow. Or above other people whom they hold in complete contempt. The opposite of stupidity is not intelligence. The opposite of stupidity is wisdom.
Narcissist can be intelligent and accomplish but never wise. Often extremely intelligent people are also inordinately dumb.
Can Narcissists Be Constructive, Positive, Productive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCPf7nMZ-0
Sam Vaknin

Dr Robert Bohan‬ ‪@robertbohan.bsky.social‬
You may notice troll accounts jumping in to say offensive things about Zuckerberg. This is a common strategy of the far right, where they seek to antagonise us into response, which they can then use to say ‘all LGBTQ are violent/abusive etc’ - don’t get sucked into it. I’m blocking them.

Dr Robert Bohan‬ ‪@robertbohan.bsky.social‬
I think there may be a small one. I suggest reading about how ordinary people react to authoritarian regimes. They cross the street & keep their heads down. In the US just 4% of voters were most concerned about foreign affairs despite being in 2 wars. Apathy & self-interest are big drivers.

Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors
Toxic message “I will forever be grateful for the lessons the abuser taught me. Without them I would never found myself” NOOO! The abuser gave you trauma you should’ve never had - not ‘lessons’. You’re amazing because you’re amazing not because of an abuser!

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
When you're a good person with genuine intentions and a gorgeous heart, you don't lose anyone – they lose you.

Aim True (Amy Pagett)
@AimTrue7
Many trauma survivors appear to have a high pain tolerance.
Usually it’s that we’ve learned to dissociate so well that the pain isn’t connecting to our felt sense.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 13
Survivors listen because they know exactly how it feels to be unheard.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Interesting fact: Psychopaths/narcissists LOVE to copy other people. This includes stealing others’ ideas, taking credit for others’ work, copying other people’s clothing, adopting other people’s accents, mimicking other people‘s mannerisms.
They do this for several reasons. They have a very limited emotional world and so they observe and copy others’ reactions to blend in or seem ‘normal’.
They have no moral code and winning is very important to them so theft of ideas comes naturally.
Their limited emotional world means they often do not have much creativity and must take ideas from others.
They sometimes copy to provoke or hurt others, so dressing like someone who is deceased, for example, or dressing for an important relationship occasion, such as an anniversary, in an outfit worn during a fight.
There are other motivations.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Most relationships taught me the more chances you give ppl, the less they value you. They aren't afraid to lose you bcoz they know no matter what, you won't walk away. Never let anybody get too comfortable with disrespecting you. Love yourself and choose distance over disrespect.

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
By far one of the dumbest psychiatric disorders to diagnose someone with is ‘adjustment disorder’.

Oh you’re struggling to ‘adjust’ to being abused? You have adjustment disorder.

Oh you’re struggling to ‘adjust’ to your mum being dead? Adjustment disorder.

What’s that? You’ve been made homeless and you’re struggling to adjust? I have just the thing!

Like goddamn it, isn’t this just trolling at this point? How is struggling to process massive traumas in our lives ‘adjustment disorder’? A mental disorder. To be medicated and diagnosed. What!?

Honestly, they just make this shit up as they go along.

Adjustment disorder is literally just trauma and distress due to a stressful or impactful life event.

I’m so tired of millions of people being gaslit and lied to like this. No wonder people feel so detached from themselves and don’t understand their own emotions or experiences.

ban psychiatry burn the dsm
@antipsychgeist
I remind myself that there’s no one to blame. No one invented the laws of physics and the way elements interact with each other. It’s just the way it is.

Hyper-empathy can also be a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD), which is why it's important to talk about it with a professional and find a healthy way of regulating your emotionsž
https://uktherapyguide.com/empathy-disorder-what-is-it-symptoms-and-how-to-overcome-it

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities (including narcissists & psychopaths) never go to therapy by choice. If compelled to go, they use the process of therapy as a weapon to manipulate others & to learn how to be more effective in harming & exploiting people while avoiding transparency.

-
Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Can narcissists be cured?
No & yes.
There are 2 types of narcissists - malignant/covert & vulnerable.
‘Malignant narcissists’ have brain anomalies. Substantial evidence indicates they cannot be cured. ‘Vulnerable narcissists’ are a result of abuse & with work, may improve.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Never forget:
They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
You'll find peace when you realize people are at war with themselves, not you.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 17
You’re absolutely allowed to change the price of what it costs to access you.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Remember:
They can talk about you, dislike you, not speak to you and hate you.
But they cannot stop you.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Somehow, everything becomes your fault - they yelled because you provoked them. They cheated because you were distant. They insulted you because you were “asking for it.”

And so you try harder. You take the blame, thinking if you can just fix yourself, they’ll change. But the harder you try, the more they shift the blame, keeping you trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and shame.

But their actions are their responsibility. You are not to blame for their choices.

#EmotionalAbuse

-
Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Victims of abusive narcissistic parents often develop perfectionism as a trauma response as a result of their narcissistic family members constantly looking for anything they could possibly criticize to make them doubt or feel bad about themselves; Another form of sadism.
These children learn to perform every act they make in such a way that it couldn’t be criticized according to their abuser’s irrational standards.
Over time, this hypervigilance becomes internalized. Even when the narcissistic parent is no longer present, the inner critic—a remnant of the abuser's voice—takes over, causing anxiety and a fear of “doing something wrong.”
In adulthood, this trauma response often manifests as chronic anxiety, burnout, and difficulty with self-compassion.

Breaking free from this cycle requires recognizing that perfectionism served a purpose of self defense in the past but is no longer necessary. Therapy, mindfulness, and self-compassion exercises can help us reframe our inner dialogue and prioritize growth over perfection. 🙏🏼💛
-

To be content with a life of basic needs and simple desires, we must dive into our own psyches and discover the unnecessary desires that rule our minds and actions.
Once these unnecessary desires are rooted out, we must actively seek to control them and reject them.
📜Kinnu, Epicurus

One of the greatest discoveries from Epicurus is the realization that humans aren't very good at making themselves happy. Too often, people chase after the wrong things - relationships, wealth, and luxury - to find happiness. Never find true pleasure or fulfillment.
📜Kinnu, Epicurus

If we simply took time to reflect on pleasure as a state without pain, fear, or anxiety and reflected on all the things we spend our time chasing that are empty and unfulfilling, we could then turn our minds to simpler pleasures and goods.
📜Kinnu, Epicurus

-

Do you have an anxious attachment style? This video is for you. #anxiety #therapist
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/L_mnthNuH5w
You see this orange ball, right? If I were to put it up here or over here outside of the screen – you still know that the ball exists even though you cannot see physical proof of it. That's something called object permanence.
If you are someone with anxious attachment style, ADHD, BPD, or even fear of abandonment you may struggle with similar concept called emotional permanence.
Somebody who lacks emotional permanence may feel like someone else emotions towards them may not exist if they do not have direct proof right in front of their face. Ball represents: loved one telling us how much they love us today.
Somebody who lacks social permanence may not feel that love tomorrow when that proof is not directly in front of their face anymore. This becomes exhausting cycle and the second it is out of sight – it is out of mind, and the person really struggles with believing that the love or those emotions are still there.

-
Inability to tell inside from outside is a hallmark of psychosis. And it is known clinically as hyper-reflexivity. What happens is the narcissists induces in you the same inability, the narcissist disables your capacity to tell apart external from internal
🔻Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw6p5Yde4so

So you have nothing to do what is going on in the narcissist mind. You have no impact or effect or involvement in the narcissist interactions with his internal objects. The narcissist is having relationship with your avatar.
🔻Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw6p5Yde4so
-
Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle‬ ‪@drdoylesays.bsky.social‬
People who abused us growing up, while calling it "tough love" & telling us we invited the abuse w/ our behavior or attitude, did a specific kind of damage to our ability to trust & relate to ourselves w/ care. We're not born hating ourselves-- we learn it. We have to unlearn it.

Always stop and think whether your fun may be the cause of another's unhappiness.
Aesop

Imploders may turn around inward on themselves. And this is something that is typical in a child who would have identified with the aggressor. So for example they have a parent who is an exploder and loses their temper and shout and attacks and stuff. That child still loves their parent and try to get that parent to love them. For their survival they can over-identify with aggressor and actually start to believe them.
Them being shouted at or criticized a lot – they would start to internalize that. And they learn to do it themselves. When we are horrible to ourselves, the way we speak to ourselves – if we are using critical harsh voice that is anger.
People don't feel safe when they don't know where they are with you. Expressing yourself. And sometimes even when somebody explodes – okay it is scary and horrible but at least you know where you are, it is not being hidden.
BBC Radio 4, Anger and Us

Othering.
The presence of another person (known as object in psychology) triggers you and then actualizes your potentials interactively. You have potentital to emote, to feel emotions, to think something, to express your emotions
How we emote, how we think cognition, all these are determined by outsiders.
In absence of other people you will never become, you will never finalize, you are work in progress.
If the child is not allowed to practice othering, if the child is not allowed to regard other people as external, child fails to develop othering skills and capacities. He is incapable of other people, he is incapable of regarding other people as other people. He converts them in internal objects as a defensive mechanism. Shared fantasy.
When you other people effectively, when you are able to perceive other people as separate from you, distinct from you, not you – this is the process of othering. When there is you and not you. In this case you are not reliant on other people to be you.
Sam Vaknin
4 Surprising Views of Homosexuality (Compilation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWh9xaAqAUs

Super Thinking
@Super_Thinkiing
Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
The craziest part about being an over thinker is that you’re usually right.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
One of the hardest parts of childhood neglect is spending your life trying to be picked as a priority. It’s realizing you become close to people with the intent to prove your worth rather than be met where you are. The healing is not in new people, but rescuing that child.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 21
The goodness in you threatens toxic individuals.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
It’s crazy how people will dislike you for being confident about the things they are insecure about.

“Make good trouble.”
~ John Lewis

The ancient Stoics were people who attempted to rid themselves of all negative emotion and cultivate an inner strength and joy that radiated from them.
This intentional mentality has seen a resurgence in modern times and actually forms the basis for cognitive behavioral therapy.
📱Kinnu, Stoicism

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
“Arguing about whether a murderer is mentally ill or evil, simplifies the reality of human actions in a way that allows society to avoid taking responsibility for its own role in creating violence.

Not just creating violence - but loving violence. Enjoying violence. Playing video games of mass murder. Glorifying wars and genocide. Celebrating murderers. Sexualising predators. Commissioning glossy films and Netflix specials about rapists and murders for everyone to enjoy the gory details.

We totally ignore this blatant normalisation of murder on a day to day basis.”

CPTSD Foundation
@cptsdfoundation
Jan 23
Years of repeated exposure to physical and emotional abuse inevitably taught many survivors to develop a heightened defense mechanism that walls them in and makes them feel unsafe in a relationship.

Jacy, LPC
@ATMwithJacy
As soon as someone shows you they don’t mind hurting you —- you need to believe them.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
We live in a world where wrong people get treated right and the right people get treated wrong.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 24
To avoid disappointment, take people exactly as they are, instead of idealizing about what you wish they would be.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Abusers are masters at making you feel responsible for their behavior, but the truth is, you were never the problem. Sharing your experience can help others break free from the same toxic cycle.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 23
Your greatest test will be how you handle people who have mishandled you.

Perhaps there was no more detrimental consequence of our childhood abandonment than being forced to habitually hide our authentic selves.
Pete Walker

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Jan 24
It is beyond tragic that when you experience domestic abuse, you may eventually come to see 'love' as simply the absence of punishment. 💔

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 24
You will never regret asking questions to get more clarity.
You will always regret making a decision based on a story you have created in your head.

ban psychiatry burn the dsm
@antipsychgeist
What mental illness do you think they have? Or are you just casually lumping together violent people with those diagnosed with a mental illness, and thus increasing the stigmatization and devaluation of those pathologized?

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Abusive people and abuse enablers believe abusive behavior is strength.
It is, in fact, just the opposite

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
This is such an interesting conversation for so many reasons. Here are my thoughts:

1. When unpicking a large problem that has become embedded in societal narrative - the first step is to describe the problem and break it down properly. Rushing to offer an alternative is only repeating the same mistake - so sometimes we have to have a very strong and long conversation about breaking the initial beliefs down first - which takes time, and takes a lot of effort. This occurs in all social issues.

2. The ‘alternative’ isn’t a magic bullet solution such as ‘take this pill’ - so it’s a huge answer with a lot of detail. Ultimately, the argument being made is that the chemical imbalance narrative is a myth, and so we now need to tell the truth to the public who have been missold, misled and gaslit - and then they will need individually tailored responses to their own suffering and distress. There is no alternative we can just pop in its place, as that would be another broad brush, generalised response that will fail too.

3. Professionals often feel lost and a bit helpless when they’ve had their beliefs or ideologies removed from them - and they expect people to give them a new belief or a new answer. This, I think, is due to the way we are all trained so badly - to lack initiative and invention - but to follow guidelines and stock answers in order to cover our arse. The same thing happened when I successfully campaigned against the use of CSE films being shown to children. Professionals often said, ‘right but what’s the answer then? What do we do instead if we can’t show them the films of children being raped? How will we ever work with them without the films?’
I was often receiving demands from professionals saying that because I was the one who explained why CSE films were wrong, unethical, lacked evidence and traumatic - I should be the one that developed an alternative and gave it to everyone otherwise I was basically just criticising without any solutions. However - what this highlighted to me was that professionals had become too reliant on the films - and had lost all their other skills and confidence in engaging with children who had been raped and we’re very distressed - which is interestingly transferable to this issue about SSRIs.

4. The alternatives are myriad. There are literally thousands of alternatives to giving someone a pill and telling them they have a chemical imbalance - but it involves actually addressing their distress and their mood - by looking at what is truly causing their suffering in their lives. Poverty. Housing. Abuse. Loss. Envy. Hatred. Discrimination. Oppression. Bullying. Fear. Trauma. Neglect. Hundreds of possibilities - many of which will be complex. The ‘here, take this pill, it’s a serotonin imbalance in ya brain’ response is easy, quick, cheap, and requires zero effort. The alternative is slow, more complex, more expensive, and requires lots of compassion, time, effort and love from the practitioner. It doesn’t always mean therapy at all - and it could mean many many different approaches that work for the person as an individual. Maybe it’s leaving their horrible job. Maybe it’s moving area. Maybe it’s acknowledging that they hate their partner. Maybe it’s realising they have become abusive. Maybe it’s recognising that they’ve lived in poverty for so long that they’ve started to feel totally helpless. Maybe it’s reporting that neighbour who harasses them. Maybe it’s writing that letter to their mother.

Our problems are human, so the solutions are human.

Kyblueblood‬ ‪@kyblueblood.bsky.social‬
Ernest Hemingway once said,
“In our darkest moments, we don’t need advice.”
What we truly need is the power of human connection: a quiet presence, a gentle touch, or the smallest gesture that reminds us we’re not alone.

Muhammad Sakib‬ ‪@poetofspring.bsky.social‬
The world is full of magic, if you know where to look.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Trauma says “You must fix yourself in order for people to love you.”
Healing says “Meet me in the parts you think are hard to love.”

Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors
Jan 26
We don’t have an epidemic of mental illness. We have an epidemic of trauma and not protecting people.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
I refer to it as ‘reverse attribution’ because it is done strategically and knowingly.
Narcissists/psychopaths reversely attribute all their nefarious characteristics and deeds to their victim. No one can tell who’s telling the truth between the dark personality and the victim and so the dark personality gets away with it.
Projection is a defense mechanism, where someone attributes, their own thoughts and feelings to someone else. Narcissists/psychopaths know exactly what they’re doing when they do this.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 25
Stop telling people how to address pain they carry but didn't cause.

Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors
Jan 26
Don’t ‘should’ve’ how a survivor survived.
Don’t ‘should’ve’ how a survivor healed.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
You are not responsible for “fixing” your abusive partner.
Trying to fix an abuser often leads to losing yourself in the process.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
When you earn trust from someone who has (or is) recovering from abuse, please be aware, them trusting you comes with intense fear. It's tied to moments where they experienced their worst pain. They stopped trusting in an attempt to stop that pain. To trust is to let go again.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Too many people mistake narcissism and psychopathy for strength…

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Narcissists/psychopaths that are higher functioning seek platforms that provide them with pre-existing populations they can leverage from. Many are ‘experts’ in areas where we find passionate &/or vulnerable people such as domestic violence, child welfare, mental health, law…

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
This is your gentle reminder to stop sharing stuff that is important to you with people who do not show an interest in your wellbeing.

Jim Acosta‬ ‪@jimacosta.bsky.social‬
Today’s show was my last at CNN. My closing message: It’s never a good time to bow down to a tyrant… don’t give in to the lies. Don’t give in to fear. Hold on to the truth… and hope.

‪Jeff Tiedrich‬ ‪@jefftiedrich.bsky.social‬
all you people who told us to calm down can go fuck yourselves

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 28
Normalize not feeling bad for removing anyone from your life that didn't feel bad for hurting you.

Good men never speak the truth for the spirit thus to be good is a malady.
📖Thus Spake Zarathustra - Friedrich Nietzsche (1883)

Jeez, what a jerk. Never realized it before. I guess a lot of people I know are jerks. Maybe you think I'm one too. That's why you keep avoiding me.
🎞️Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Lisa A. Romano
@lisaaromano1
A codependent person and a narcissist are two sides of the same coin—both struggle with a lack of a stable sense of self.
The narcissist copes by demanding validation, control, and admiration from others to feel worthy.
The codependent copes by giving validation, rescuing, and over-accommodating to feel worthy.
That’s why healing from codependency isn’t just about leaving the narcissist—it’s about reclaiming your true self and no longer needing someone else to complete you. 💛

Aim True (Amy Pagett)
@AimTrue7
Yes! We adopt a lot of behaviours and strategies to keep ourselves safe.
So often the things we did to keep us alive, stop us from truly living.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 29
People talk about high sensitivity as if it’s a negative thing or something that needs to be changed. Being highly sensitive doesn’t mean someone’s fragile. It means they feel and experience things deeply and quickly. This includes other peoples bullshit.

John Po
@JohnPoInnerWork
Jan 30
High sensitivity just means you have better radar to detect whether something's good or bad for you

Shannon Bussnick
@shannonbpriddy
Jan 29
We, the sensitive, will always remind humanity of their insensitivity 👋

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
You’re not a bad person because bad things happened to you.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
Jan 29
No one will ever know how hard it's been for you and how much you have endured. So never allow anyone to bring you down, because you are stronger than they will ever realize.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
Jan 29
Never try to defend yourself against a Narcissist. They already know you're right, they just want you to stress and drain you trying to prove it.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 29
Never disrespect yourself by begging anybody for bare minimum. You'll never have to ask the right person for affection, attention, respect, loyalty, or love— because they'll naturally want to show it. If someone doesn't see the value in giving you that, don't try to convince them

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
The older you get, the more you choose detachment over drama and distance over disrespect. Conflict becomes intolerable to you and your peace becomes your absolute priority. You start surrounding yourself with people who are good for your mental health, heart, and soul.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
Don't let others ruin your peace and guilt-trip you for moving on from their BS.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Be careful, sometimes the person who screams they are a victim the loudest is actually the villain.
When the smoke detectors of the brain malfunction, people no longer run when they should be trying to escape or fight back when they should be defending themselves. – Bessel van der Kolk

Lightborn Wisdom
@LightbornWsdm
Social bullying is a sneaky way to hurt someone's reputation and make them feel bad about themselves.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
Always be careful with your words, because you never know how many times it's repeating in someone's head.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 30
It’s tragic how often we judge someone’s behavior but don’t name their pain.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 30
Many fixers or helpers come from homes where they often had harsh realities denied. Their attempt to fix and/or help comes from a genuine place, but their deepest desire is to be given permission to fix and help themselves.

What does it mean to objectify someone?
/əbˈdʒek.tɪ.faɪ/ to treat a person like a tool or toy, as if they had no feelings, opinions, or rights of their own: She denied that the magazine objectified women. Synonym. depersonalize.

‪Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez‬ ‪@aoc.bsky.social‬
I honestly believe our most powerful position in a toxic time that feeds on cynicism, apathy,& despair is to genuinely care and act for a better world.
Cynicism is our enemy. We should check it, incl. on the left. It’s not intellectually superior. It’s the virus they’re trying to infect us with. NO

I must be defective.
That was the only explanation I could think of for his behavior. Why did
he act so loving one moment and then rip me to shreds the next?
"stop walking on eggshells"

Walking on eggshells is a CLASSIC AND CLEAR sign of some type of abuse. Any relationship that you are in that feel like you have to sacrifice yourself to cater to another person and their feelings is not healthy. This is how you lose who you are. If you're not ready to leave, that's alright. But get help.
reddit "Sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells : r/relationship_advice"

majordopolis‬ ‪@majordopolis.bsky.social‬
Also don't give your balance and emotional state over to anyone.
Ever.
Especially a malignant
#narcissist
They love your fatigue + shock
and use it to invade more, claim more of your interior territory.
Hold steady, stay connected + rest when you need to.

Because BPD affects six million people in North America, I figured that at least eighteen million family members, partners, and friends—like me—were blaming themselves for behavior that had little to do with them.
"stop walking on eggshells"

Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors
Jan 31
Abusers say outrageous things because they can and there are no repercussions.
#perpetrator101

Although BPD by definition negatively affects those in relationships with borderlines (BPs), most mental health professionals I spoke with—with a few notable exceptions—were so overwhelmed by the needs of their borderline patients that their advice for non-BPs was quite limited.
"stop walking on eggshells"

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
People will criticize your healing when they fear the healed version of you will no longer tolerate their behavior.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Malignant #narcissists are obsessed with control, and they often exert this obsession in irrational, passive-aggressive, or outright destructive ways.
Their need for control isn’t just about dominance; it’s about proving that no one has power over them. Their ego cannot tolerate the idea of being "forced" to do anything, even if it's something normal or reasonable like picking their kids up from school or bringing back a requested item from the store. They might intentionally and consistently be late to “prove” they aren’t a chauffeur or they may intentionally bring back the wrong items to prove they don’t have to do anything anyone asks them to do. Possibly the most malignant expression of this is when a malignant narcissist parent fears losing control over their child, they will often work to destroy their child’s life to “remain in control.”
Here are some more ways they irrationally exert control: 🧵
Weaponizing Incompetence – If asked to do something, they will intentionally do it wrong (or half-done) so they won’t be asked again. This isn't just laziness; it's a power move to show they won't be controlled.
Withholding and Sabotaging – They may withhold information, money, affection, or resources to keep others dependent on them. For example, a malignant narcissistic parent might "forget" to submit their child’s college applications or financial aid forms, ensuring the child doesn’t gain independence.
Intentional Chaos – They create unpredictable environments where they control the narrative. A malignant narcissist might start unnecessary arguments before an important event, making sure their target is too upset or distracted to perform well.
Moving the Goalposts – They demand something, and once you comply, they change the requirements so that you're never "good enough." This keeps people scrambling and under their thumb.
Triangulation – They manipulate relationships by pitting people against each other, ensuring that no one trusts anyone except them. This keeps them in control of all communication and alliances.
Public Humiliation – To assert dominance, they may undermine someone in front of others, whether by making "jokes" at their expense, correcting them unnecessarily, or sharing private information to shame them.
Deliberate Forgetfulness – They "forget" promises, birthdays, deadlines, or important commitments, forcing their target into a position of having to constantly remind them or beg for basic respect. This reinforces their control by making the other person feel powerless.
Gaslighting – They will deny reality, rewrite history, and convince their target they are imagining things. This erodes confidence and makes their victim more dependent on them for "truth."
Sabotaging Success – If their target shows independence or improvement, they will subtly or overtly sabotage it. This could be as simple as making them late to an important event, or as extreme as convincing them that their dreams are unrealistic or selfish.
Silent Treatment & Stonewalling – They cut off communication as punishment, refusing to acknowledge their target until they "submit" or beg for their attention. This reinforces their power by making others feel small and desperate.
When it comes to malignant narcissistic parents, their control is particularly insidious. If a child begins to assert independence—by questioning them, setting boundaries, or even succeeding in ways the narcissist cannot take credit for—they see it as an attack on their authority. That’s when they shift from controlling to outright destroying, often through emotional abuse, guilt-tripping, or even financial and social sabotage.
Many of these tactics allow the narcissist plausible deniability. Impossible to prove that it was intentional and narcissist love committing abuse where they can simply play dumb

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
If your partner consistently mocks, makes sarcastic comments, or 'jokingly' criticizes your appearance, intelligence, or personality, it’s not a joke—it’s emotional abuse.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Abusers will impose a decision on you and later blame you for the result, even though it was never truly your choice to begin with it.
They might pressure you into making life-altering decisions, like quitting your job to become a homemaker, only to later criticize you for it, calling you lazy or incompetent for ‘abandoning’ your career.
The victim is constantly placed in a lose-lose situation, where no matter what they do, they face judgment, criticism, or condemnation.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Coercive control attacks a person’s sense of self and identity by manipulating and distorting their beliefs, values, and individuality, leaving them feeling like a shadow of their former selves.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Remember, most people cope by projecting, so stop taking things so personally.

The Narcissist Box
@NarcissistBox
Feb 2
Your abusers trauma does not justify them abusing you.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
If the way they love you puts you in survival mode, it’s not love.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Your nervous system will naturally feel at peace in the presence of people with pure intentions and authentic energy – trust it.

‪Kit ✨ (they/them) $19/$80‬ ‪@cometkitten.bsky.social‬
How you feel and your diagnosis do not justify hurting others. Period.
And you cannot rob someone of their feelings or invalidate reactions to harm you caused by waving a diagnosis like a white flag.

❄️Snow Poff❄️‬ ‪@snowpoff.bsky.social‬
Church is where narcissists go to abuse co-dependants
Queer spaces are where people with BPD go to abuse co-dependants
Because of a specific type of attention this post got:
Both Narcissists and people with BPD are humans deserving of love and respect. These conditions can be managed in a healthy fashion.
Additionally abuse can stem from any unhealthy coping mechanism including trying to cope with codependency

Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors
If you think the abuser will follow the rules - you're wrong.
If you think people will make the abuser follow the rules - you're wrong.

Soren 🌱they/them‬ ‪@sorenable.bsky.social‬
I do not need to apologize for:
Having needs
Asserting myself
Asking for something
Being hurt
Getting confused
Hoping for better
Misunderstanding someone
Experiencing “uncomfy” emotions
Being more sensitive than others
Crying (again)
Needing space
Being in the process of healing
Being human

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Feb 4
The beginning signs of a toxic relationship is when you start to believe if you can navigate their mood swings, manipulation, or disrespect better, then it won’t hurt as much. The ending of those relationships is you being a shell of a human & having to rebuild from the ground up

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Kids who grow up in toxic homes often lack understanding that they’re allowed to take up space, & don’t have to give more than they have in order to be respected. It makes sense for these beliefs to carry into adulthood but it doesn’t make sense to still believe they’re true.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
People start hating or lose interest in you when they cannot control you.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
I don't think a lot of people are becoming heartless and selfish. I think they are becoming more aware of what they deserve and how they want to be treated.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
It’s not a person’s response to abuse that’s the problem, it’s THE ABUSE THEYRE RESPONDING TO

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
How can therapy ever be effective if there are certain topics you cannot discuss safely?

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Sociopathic or malignant narcissists have a strong pathological need to vilify others, especially moral, honest people, as a way to protect their fragile egos and maintain a sense of control. They project their own guilt and shame onto others, deflecting attention away from their own flaws.
By tearing people down, they elevate themselves and manipulate those around them to follow their version of reality. They fear exposure, so vilifying others creates a distraction.
There can also be a sadistic element. The act of vilifying others allows them to inflict harm, feed their ego, and enjoy the control they have over how others perceive and treat the target of their abuse. This sadistic tendency reflects their deep need to feel superior, even if it comes at the expense of another’s well-being.
Malignant and covert narcissists are particularly likely to vilify individuals who possess qualities or attributes that threaten their fragile self-esteem, sense of control, or desire for superiority. Here are the types of people they are most likely to target:

People Malignant Narcissists are most likely to vilify

1. Competent and Successful Individuals: Malignant narcissists often feel threatened by those who are successful or competent, as these individuals highlight their own inadequacies. They may vilify such people to undermine their achievements and reduce the threat to their own self-image.

2. Moral and Ethical Individuals: People with strong moral and ethical standards can be targets because their integrity and goodness contrast sharply with the narcissist’s own lack of morality. Malignant narcissists may attempt to smear their reputations to diminish their influence and elevate their own status.

3. Authority Figures: Those in positions of authority, such as bosses, teachers, or community leaders, can be vilified if the narcissist perceives them as obstacles to their own power and control. By discrediting authority figures, malignant narcissists attempt to assert dominance.

4. Close Relationships: Friends, family members, or romantic partners who see through the narcissist's facade or challenge their behavior are often vilified. This serves to isolate these individuals and prevent them from exposing the narcissist’s true nature.

People Covert Narcissists are most likely to vilify

1. Empathetic and Caring Individuals: Covert narcissists may feel envious of people who are genuinely empathetic and caring, as these qualities starkly contrast with their own lack of empathy. They might vilify these individuals to feel superior and to manipulate others into seeing them as victims.

2. Confident and Assertive Individuals: Those who are confident and assertive can make covert narcissists feel insecure and inadequate. By vilifying these individuals, covert narcissists try to bring them down to feel better about themselves.

3. Popular or Well-Liked Individuals: People who are popular and well-liked are often targets because they receive the admiration and validation that covert narcissists crave. By attacking their character, covert narcissists aim to undermine their social standing and shift attention to themselves.

4. Challengers to Their Victim Narrative: Individuals who do not buy into the covert narcissist’s victim narrative or who challenge their manipulative behaviors are likely to be vilified. This allows the narcissist to maintain their perceived victim status and avoid accountability.

Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
@DrDoyleSays
Feb 5
Your nervous system won't know what to make of you talking to yourself in realistic, supportive terms, rather than that bullsh*t "tough love" you learned growing up. It's going to disbelieve & distrust your recovery self-talk at first.
Stick w/ it. Build that self trust.

🐌
@JAYVERSACE
Feb 4
why does simply speaking up for myself always feel like im having a psychotic break and mental crash out

"If you have no evidence, reserve judgment"
⚛️Cosmos

💜

Blog posts:

Do Movies Cause Social Anxiety? ✌ Strong reaction to someone rude ✌ The Agreeableness Theory ✌Managing Social Anxiety and Toxic Shame ✌ Complex Trauma induce Social Anxiety and Avoidance ✌Navigating through social anxiety ✌ Accepting social anxiety ✌ Social anxiety is Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) ✌ Quiet BPD is social anxiety ✌ Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse

Reddit posts:

ponedjeljak, 6. siječnja 2025.

Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse