1.1.2024 - *-*
2.1.2024 - to sign forms being told to sign name first and then surname, water lake at park near apartment greens, using pointer on a long rifle
3.1.2024 - politician has physical exercise on tv
4.1.2024 - handling situations at work and school test
5.1.2024 - being ignored
6.1.2024 - breaking ice to free tree, patty, is tube paste straight or crooked, sorting clips, being questioned and frowned down by ex neighbor and school colleague for being unemployed
7.1.2024 - chase, I defend accused, preparing for trip, crossroads and traffic light
8.1.2024 - making a video, driving bicycle in forest with small narrow path over a cliff and path being detached one leading to abandoned castle
9.1.2024 - paying bread with card without getting change, app that keeps you vigilant
10.1.2024 - family tv, colorful rug, going on foot to western part of capital city underneath the highway viaduct above us
11.1.2024 - soap opera, black cat
12.1.2024 - ex colleague, card not working, drop marbles, need to complete radio list, then to make presentation
13.1.2024 - screaming man in movie
14.1.2024 - huge crossroad, spurt blood, needles scattered around, film music in cafe bar, walking in crowds
15.1.2024 - walking in snow in hurry
16.1.2024 - ex colleagues tearing book, give them photos and one girl has hands oiled and smell like feces, driving remote operating car bumping doors and paying 40 euros to owner
17.1.2024 - garage, Himalaya with funicular over the top
18.1.2024 - conquest, walking to hilltop and starts raining, I put my hood on, someone shattered brick on window covered with cement that is in appartment room of my sister
19.1.2024 - trying to poop on serviette while watching news
20.1.2024 - being in hotel and writing chat messages, driving, cars forcing advantages before me and taking away my right of way
21.1.2024 - being questioned and surveilled
22.1.2024 - chocolate, being judged
23.1.2024 - 1970s documentary about italian criminals with yugoslavia shown divided in that map from 1970 when it was united, high school where I got report that one day I came later and I remembered that I went earlier because I thought it was short working day, and feeling no social anxiety that I talk and express my side of story without fear, ex colleague from school told me that I tell everyone that she knows the miss contest winner that can come and improve reputation of our class
24.1.2024 - being searched before entering fashion store, ash tray, think about past 4 years
25.1.2024 - ex colleagues, ex job
26.1.2024 - watch on tv how they vanish, burned oil, eating pop radio
27.1.2024 - giving a notes of medicine to a nurse, finding blood samples in white sack, listening to diary and music from 1990s
28.1.2024 -revealing who is psychopath on tv, pink punk haircut on me, going through a wallet looking for a document
29.1.2024 - they are gone and I need to work alone on my own then evaluated
30.1.2024 - being chased in competition, winning, borrowing car from ex colleague and promising to pick her up at eastern town far away, toilette at hotel with back door to street, feeling pressure but I cannot identify what is it
31.1.2024 - to get doctor, second time there are no crowds, redirected traffic below as seen from the window
1.2.2024 - high train, going to class
2.2.2024 - agreeing, buying train ticket, but clerk says complications about the ticket, then train being late, passing by relics of trains from ww2 bombing
3.2.2024 - party, kittens
4.2.2024 - tv game, competition, tv series as guide to avoid gossip
5.2.2024 - ingredients needed for soup, walking in street, my 3 buddha statues put asidež
6.2.2024 - party at my place, ex colleague came to eat tech
7.2.2024 - water skid with power but power is gone, so I use someone else, french words learning, lucrative job in nepal katmandu invitation, at kiosk checking newspapers
8.2.2024 - sneaking in the class unnoticed, new york map of assault, crossroads, large car filled with relatives, new people talking to me and i hardly hear or understand them, but there is no social anxiety, crossing road, dig, left own things temporary at outer house, nurse that i came for receipt and I can't find my medical card, she has live cams and e-mail from my ex colleague, she mentions me name to contact me when I quit the job
9.2.2024 - trash from family filled with needles, tools, hats, one hat flies into street
10.2.2024 - events being tv series, being stopped and mocked by presenter during rushing by on my bicycle and me not being interested and i buzz through park where crowds were, few meters onwards another guy grabbed my backpack to stop me and pulled me to stop yelling at me why I hate neckties. So I explained I don't like crowds and that I love neckties so he calmed down when I talked back and speak the truth without social anxiety
11.2.2024 - stories, chase in the park, near the frozen water
12.2.2024 - watch people from window, past mornings when I was feeling smothered that something is wrong but not knowing what it is
13.2.2024 - bear outside
14.2.2024 - jacuzzi, relatives place with dilapidated ceilings, many small bathing pools around lamp posts in northern town
15.2.2024 - colleague's hut being undone
16.2.2024 - drive through crowds
17.2.2024 - *-*
18.2.2024 - make constructs against my reality, drive thru crowds at train station, going to finland sauna bar without clothes and I cover with towl that I find hanging ask to chat without social anxiety
19.2.2024 - foreign country, gathering signatures for the form, ankh symbol as necklace
20.2.2024 - making short movie out of bigger, cutting scenes, invited to meed old high school mates but not interested
21.2.2024 - ex colleague at dance party with this wife
22.2.2024 - needle in glove is used as weapon, moving above gators, as new employee I need to find out when are new times for news, meryl strip in news report in golden shiny dress, preparing dough in double and the other one disappears in the same time as the original
23.2.2024 - final destination 2 scenes, lied to manipulated
24.2.2024 - spa parking
25.2.2024 - *-*
26.2.2024 - measure and criticism, preparing for trip, meeting ex neighbor outside and he mumbles in fear cannot clearly speak and I try to turn it in pleasant chat
27.2.2024 - *-*
28.2.2024 - town divided by two small in foreign city, feel sad can't find job, in 1993 feeling different in public, lyrics mean more felt it deeply, peer pressure in 1993 about drugs
29.2.2024 - fly in plane, ex bosses get gifts photos, shifted ceiling
1.3.2024 - fugitive in woods, plants bombs, can't find my cat, it has tickets for tram ride
2.3.2024 - I watch from window above the street as truck overturns filled with rumble
3.3.2024 - by chance I discover robots have price of 12 dollars with discount, being sold for 1000 dollars, waiting to be sold, have feelings
4.3.2024 - being in snow, coat town and aldi store, cents, ex boss
5.3.2024 - responsibility, wedding preparation, waiting for parking, cell phone being snatched and blackmail about its return
6.3.2024 - train, depart before schedule, wc
7.3.2024 - picking up postal gift for other, rabbit jumping over the fence, tram ride getting of station, ex boss and talking about years, cats in apartment and some gone missing
8.3.2024 - snipers on the top of buildings, dinner with ex collegues
9.3.2024 - ex boss, a restaurant nobody pick check I don't know if I stay and figure how to pay hefty sum
10.3.2024 - after party in 1990s I stayed awake all night
11.3.2024 - shortcut found at trail by the sea, lost towel, taking photos of sea scenary
12.3.2024 - being wrong, new teeth sprout
13.3.2024 - boarding train, two random passengers already sitting on reserved seats
14.3.2024 - awards for business, walking in hot summer day
15.3.2024 - ex, got double bed
16.3.2024 - climbing down the building
17.3.2024 - preparing, being evaluated, crowds
18.3.2024 - computer not working, ex colleague meddle with it, taking coins
19.3.2024 - crossroad, traffic light
20.3.2024 - train, no seats, ex neighbor, ex colleague, read encyclopedia, sending fax with name of jobs
21.3.2024 - in the mall, psychological test, fruit pralines
22.3.2024 - running away from criminals through small window of bathroom, ex colleague, sleeping outside at square, not liking the job while others are at vacation
23.3.2024 - *-*
24.3.2024 - white amoebae floating in the glass of water, washing machine
25.3.2024 - rail under the sea
26.3.2024 - assistant
27.3.2024 - satellite receiver without dish is working, train tracks inside home, getting ready set go, being old lady talking to another, walking path under the puddle of water, row in bank on sunday
28.3.2024 - packing suitcase to escape, entering train that is about to leave, crossing street, ex colleague, buying newspapers
29.3.2024 - having two boats, dancing in row
30.3.2024 - taking test for programming and no one knows the answers, driving car to the test
31.3.2024 - opera, horse
1.4.2024 - ex job, hard time to ask for what other need to do
2.4.2024 - cell phone burning, instructions, shopping cart, waiting in front of the ramp, crowds in hall
3.4.2024 - *-*
4.4.2024 - office, weaved pot, sneaking in
5.4.2024 - talking italian while being a guest
6.4.2024 - shopping, rules, ex job
7.4.2024 - listen to game at neighbor, preparing to go to english class being late, balcony
8.4.2024 - egg hatched, alone in apartment, police coming with immigrants
9.4.2024 - test
10.4.2024 - series, shopping maya rudolph angelo
11.4.2024 - driving
12.4.2024 - driving, being late
13.4.2024 - tv channels
14.4.2024 - following crime story, film scout seeking new role in the streets, confiding to school mate and neighbor about my feelings of panic and anxiety
15.4.2024 - drive, cat eating, ex job want to send pdf
16.4.2024 - horror movie, radiator pipe and cat climbing on it and pipe gets broken
17.4.2024 - pal sleeping over, parking in the center
18.4.2024 - boat ride, small remote boats in the water, boat rode over stone almost capsized
19.4.2024 - monster. streets of sofia, mp3 player with big blue button that starts the song and led lights, bed covers for the price of 12 millions
20.4.2024 - tv guide, buying train ticket
21.4.2024 - dogs, ex colleague
22.4.2024 - visit american indian sites remnants, buy boxer shorts and alarm goes off inside the store and I give another set in my pockets that caused the alarm bought at some other store, received two books by post as present sender unknown
23.4.2024 - train ride, running to get off the train
24.4.2024 - rural city, question in pot, red pasta fell on ground
25.4.2024 - wedding gown, ex colleague, woods, creek, sit com
26.4.2024 - tv suddenly, hen house, kittens being with hens and shivering with cold
27.4.2024 - song as backup
28.4.2024 - dvd, split drink, map of europe with wrong borders
29.4.2024 - shop, helping with pc, train ride, seeking free space in train compartments
30.4.2024 - calendar, fake money
1.5.2024 - mum helping her walk, detour, cat with rat in mouth
2.5.2024 - lizard, shop, ex neighbor gives me guitar as a present.
3.5.2024 - setting the programs, kiss
4.5.2024 - flickering lightbulb and asked to change it, cars parked outside in the street in a row blocking traffic
5.5.2024 - cruiser ship
6.5.2024 - preparing, huge open bar restaurant in the woods and there are many huts visible in distance at nearby hills
7.5.2024 - compartmentalized beach with levels, ex school mate, revision at ex job, boat, doppelganger, ex colleague
8.5.2024 - coping
9.5.2024 - investigating, sketching logo with number 5 behind TV letters, watching movie possession, applying knowledge about looking glass in dream
10.5.2024 - ex neighbor decides to steal from kiosk and gets caught and then yelled at and we watch it
11.5.2024 - relative's birthday but she went to another party with her friends, red aurora outside
12.5.2024 - books i seek what i like in archive
13.5.2024 - ex colleague, train drive, train submerged in water, ex boss asking for file that he asked to be copied where it is now
14.5.2024 - cake, school, singing anthem and I mumble the words
15.5.2024 - no key, bus ride, prime minister, balcony in snow
16.5.2024 - walking in the street, traffic lights, ex colleague, playing soccer, toilet in the middle of hall
17.5.2024 - tv shows, competition
18.5.2024 - cleaning, show, yacht race
19.5.2024 - competition
20.5.2024 - ex schoolmate going to bank to pick up dvd and I wait with her
21.5.2024 - ex colleague, office space, wc
22.5.2024- finding quiz answers
23.5.2024 - about who is correct, ex neighbor
24.5.2024 - traffic light, i smoke
25.5.2024 - monopoly game playing, tv channels
26.5.2024 - playground, rows of people, local stadium, AI search
27.5.2024 - going to alpine town, two sketches of triangle, bus driver fixing them
28.5.2024 - water, travel to sweden, fake map of sweden
29.5.2024 - lion on loose, preparing to stab him, instruction for job interview, denmark threatened by russia and denmark women making anthems videos
30.5.2024 - ex colleague, empty offices, seeking wc
31.5.2024 - big rollercoaster in the city, observable from the raised highway
1.6.2024 - making competition from goal posts, exhausting tasks
2.6.2024 - ex colleague, came to watch movies, we missed the train, avoid to offer another movie without money, cat accidently got stuck in fridge
3.6.2024 - making love, checkout store with friends
4.6.2024 - preparing for prom, in train prepare to depart and found own wagon
5.6.2024 - intruder, brit-pop singing spoof, new apartment, preparing for exam, high school colleagues
6.6.2024 - looking magazine at newsstand, i read as i walk
7.6.2024 - cut usb cord, waiting in row for buying train ticket, a boy steps in front and I protest
8.6.2024 - crowds, ex colleagues one of them practical joker, duty at work, being in the hall exit and I left something behind in office
9.6.2024 - bosnia system of roads and highways map, chase, people hating me for doing my job, caffe in bosnia filled with serbian politicians having informal meeting
10.6.2024 - *-*
11.6.2024 - ex colleague, finding parking place
12.6.2024 - help in clean process, asked why I removed the lid, trying to find free place in crowded train
13.6.2024 - found personality, ex colleagues, office, finding wc, shave in office, putting xmas lights around huge tree
14.6.2024 - neighbor chase me, rancor nick I choose, cephalopods
15.6.2024 - inspectors check train tickets
16.6.2024 - chase, cliff
17.6.2024 - looking for wc, wc turned into passage or changing booth
18.6.2024 - stepping outside of parked bus only in towel around my waist, my stuff and phone are being left in that bus, and then bus leaves and I try to find contact for bus driver in a suburb, ex colleague, yellowish air in the room
19.6.2024 - sticker on a lap, 80s show with sexual innuendo theme
20.6.2024 - chase, orange pants and feeling good to have them, message from april 2020
21.6.2024 - travel by bus from sarajevo to zg
22.6.2024 - masked mannequin for competition, I try to fix it, visiting my kindergarten and I see blue rocks near the entrance and I remember the fear resembling the rocks, ex colleague becoming chief of hr
23.6.2024 - broken pieces on the floor
24.6.2024 - i help and being exploited
25.6.2024 - car parked near tree stump, oil caught on fire and I extinguish it before it reached the car
26.6.2024 - leaky pipes, my old books, invasion in city and no electricity, being in apartment
27.6.2024 - ex acquaintance from high school, security takes gun
28.6.2024 - finding scanning tv channels: mcm
29.6.2024 - *-*
30.6.2024 - celebrities
1.7.2024 - large vineyard, throwing paper curled in a bowl far away, two cherry shrub trees, horror movie re-enactment
2.7.2024 - beach, ex neighbor, warn them it is private part
3.7.2024 - instal pc language to my cousin, being asked to repair cell phone in the street, visiting art gallery, unfinished examination needs to be learned, ex master high school teacher asked us to repeat the sentence in writing
4.7.2024 - looking for fridge to freeze peas
5.7.2024 - soccer player throwing green signed balls, loud music outside
6.7.2024 - call from ex job that I come and burn CD, ex colleague, finding parking
7.7.2024 - louse, dog barks, discussion about free day August 30 as day of liberation
8.7.2024 - being introduced to new job, train ride, seeking parking place at square so I avoid long train ride and waiting
9.7.2024 - crane collapsed, evangelist preacher, playground
10.7.2024 - motel, sleeping in a car
11.7.2024 - not having cooling ventilator in a summer cottage
12.7.2024 - parrot landing on balcony, called lucy in the sky, wc being dirty and someone calling my name to come out, ex colleague
13.7.2024 - ex job, returning to old job, ex colleague and i enter by mistake in her office, playground, ground having water and i avoid stepping into water
14.7.2024 - *-*
15.7.2024 - road trip to copenhagen with family member, zebra stops and crush the glass, return back to homeland
16.7.2024 - *-*
17.7.2024 - cleaning the pans, magazine bravo, neighbors, old dream that I planted plants at neighbors garden and then tend to pick it
18.7.2024 - ireland
19.7.2024 - remote control, serial number, new york
20.7.2024 - obligation, fake mask, noise so I can't fall sleep
21.7.2024 - job, obligation
22.7.2024 - job, obligation
23.7.2024 - tire being inflated and it has a leak, ex colleague helping with it
24.7.2024 - neighbor, mud pouring down the road, sightseeing tower near cottage
25.7.2024 - ex manager asks for computer with his nude pictures on it, ex job
26.7.2024 - new job, lion, test at job, long line in store
27.7.2024 - highway, picking my stuff in hurry due to hurrying to travel, stuff is on the bed in plastic bags, some guy asks me to lead wire, other day others tell him no return, i do not learn so push him no return
28.7.2024 - train, I have to quickly leave but i can find my other two bags
29.7.2024 - solving, paying the bill, ironing, aunt's house and I keep eye on it while she is on the road
30.7.2024 - traffic light and waiting, holding hands as romance
31.7.2024 - being late, fly, ex colleague wants me to fix usb device that is connected to water and measures how much water is spent
1.8.2024 - resolving issues with feeling anger
2.8.2024 - toilette, new costs more but it will be bigger, droplet of water is needed, ad seller, new job, watching island from the bus and passing through its most southern point
3.8.2024 - mum wrote essay i told her to write, ex colleague moved to my city and I hope she doesn't call to meet, i was nice to them only because of people pleasing and I gave wrong impression error signals
4.8.2024 - job, ex colleague
5.8.2024 - summer cottage foundation, ex boss, inspections going through our desks, graphic card banned and leaning languages
6.8.2024 - having no train ticket in train, ex colleague, train station, walking by railways tracks
7.8.2024 - I've promised to someone that I will give olympic but I forgot it and I intend to seek it, taxi calls me that they are waiting for me outside, owning a store, fish tank presented as gift but I had to buy and take care of it so I refused
8.8.2024 - cottage, car blocking the road to cottage and I re-park it, crossing the road, looking from the hill ex colleague down below
9.8.2024 - new job and new responsibilities but old colleagues, my task is to deliver official documentation to lawyer office in my hometown
10.8.2024 - taxi without driver, two cats, new town, checking store with clothes, ex coleague
11.8.2024 - being in charge of transporting cats and many of them get lost and I am responsible when I do not know how to organize it all
12.8.2024 - had to read book for college, found place in train
13.8.2024 - description of the expenses in the class
14.8.2024 - america sign, date, holding strange formed umbrella, holding hands, ferrari outside of apartment block and neighbors crowded around to watch car being delivered unpacked unveiled by truck
15.8.2024 - colleague's wedding, big drone above, traffic jam, ex colleague, buying train tickets and thinking I should go by bus instead
16.8.2024 - train travel and my bag is missing, station stop coming soon and I am picking my stuff which are scattered around
17.8.2024 - ex colleague, got me movie tickets
18.8.2024 - rockets falling in the distance in far away north eastern town, train travel, no free seats on weekend train travel, car breaks not working so I manually stop it with hand break
19.8.2024 - feud, ex school mate working at the counter
20.8.2024 - guinea pig
21.8.2024 - wet dog, driving a car, restaurant, pictures of grandma, how time flies, won tv
22.8.2024 - back to spain on high school trip, i remember places and memories come back when I see certain place once again as if I am back there once more, waiting for a bus, ex colleague and neighbor also waits but I walk pass pretending I did not see him
23.8.2024 - taking test in moral and it is easy test, i felt unprepared for other tests
24.8.2024 - group hunting bad guy, making plan
25.8.2024 - chase, new job, turtle, when in survival mode I use emotional eating as frame of reference what to do
26.8.2024 - dualism, base rate fallacy, toxic people being dangerous who is hidden like carsalesmen
27.8.2024 - me having long hair and liking it
28-8-2024 - double parked and I figure out the way to get out, cousin forgot her wallet so I borrow her 20eur, half empty sea side tourist restaurant, pass way is crowded outside, there are sketches and paintings of stingray around
29.8.2024 - new job, masses in street
30.8.2024 - grand beach at childhood island, bought land, mountain peak with paved road to the top
31.8.2024 - cinema, painting in white
1.9.2024 - cleaning, train travel, picking up my stuff quickly before train stop, new town
2.9.2024 - white van, parking available in center of city at night, oranges being sold in street by people we try to avoid
3.9.2024 - patiently waiting in car until jammed street is cleared up
4.9.2024 - acquaintance comes to my apartment and tries to kill me with powder from a pill
5.9.2024 - holding door for kamala, visiting our workplace and she suggest me that there is a radio course at airport if I'd be interested in
6.9.2024 - barely stop at zebra and woman mad at me, betting on african country
7.9.2024 - bus being late, aunt takes food from served plates of others
8.9.2024 - test finals are soon but we had no classes in spanish, ex colleagues and me not caring for them
9.9.2024 - snow falling at balcony watching it from within, soap opera characters
10.9.2024 - ex colleague, past times, i never actually been present and happy even in happy times, snowy street that I look from window
11.9.2024 - climbing on wire steps and rope without problem, being in a store as work, taking lift, broken bottle on the ground and I watch for it, having no ticket in train, swarm of wasps on ceiling
12.9.2024 - taylor swift in a car around playground, train ride
13.9.2024 - ex job
14.9.2024 - chase, cut someone's arm, waiting in a car, angry bulgarian blaming americans for everything and I tell him to analyze what is wrong and give example and he jumps to quick conclusions
15.9.2024 - test in geography, way how to come in unknown, I have slip notes for the test
16.9.2024 - receiver, good news, going my way, brine the relatives
17.9.2024 - car sounds like airplane, being evaluated for life actions, pink small worms
18.9.2024 - long hose, going along the train track, bread cannot be bought at the train station without train ticket, new and old colleagues, car, thinking english course will be difficult in class so I wanted to change to german but i stayed with english
19.9.2024 - ex colleague, intrigues at work, the book of nazi supporterts at balkans and was told that their national food is similar and has pattern
20.9.2024 - being in war as soldier in high rise apartment, laying in bed covered only by blankets as protection against potential shrapnel and bullets and explosions, I get sniper gun and I like it look at doors with it and aim laser gun point around in sentry duty to cover exit, cake for celebration, there is room with kids and babies sleeping in dark, ex colleague, explaining to school mate how difficult was work colleague but she did not believe me
21.9.2024 - test, new job
22.9.2024 - wealthy ex neighbor buys off part of my library and some of them have notes inside, news that daughter of cousin killed herself, I am wearing white gloves
23.9.2024 - ex colleague, shaking hands with borderline colleague but I am detached emotionally from her
24.9.2024 - bent walls in kitchen and ceiling, father explains what meat to buy and I do not know it, interrupted in watching movie
25.9.2024 - crowds at the station mocking and laughing at me how I mispronounced saying good bye, pictures of army coming to the street in southern town
26.9.2024 - family member cleaned pipes, shows pictures on laptop
27.9.2024 - colleagues, long commute, in army and there are not enough of plates and cutlery
28.9.2024 - speak in German, I have longer hair, don't know German word for question, quake
29.9.2024 - ex neighbor that never liked me yells at me that I posted something she didn't like, others get screamed at in a group, buying bread in a small store and it is complicated
30.9.2024 - three filters and I present it to others how adding third filter it becomes brighter and clearer and not darker - it is like having two opposing opinions and adding third one - it becomes clearer with third angle and input
1.10.2024 - I've been explained bookeeping, train travel, train go only to third village before my exit and I wait for another train at that village and there is crowds inside, I visit my fan place
2.10.2024 - perry como, puddle at playground, having job task of fixing computer over weekend and to learn about sweden travel and literature
3.10.2024 - chinese store owned by mother and son and son being bullied by customer kids, me climbing on a floor to get into small window but it is too narrow, visiting old
4.10.2024 - lost cat, driving car, driving bicycle, come back to seek wandering cat
5.10.2024 - air raids in london, checking where is shelter in the house, watching outside falling fireballs in the distance, not being prepared for the final high school exam, took empty notes, cell phone glitch, leave the class but wind makes me hard to close the door
6.10.2024 - cat when he was kitten running around, I had to go to wc in a cupboard and I was not allowed
7.10.2024 - rain and snow falling down outside of window, I have to learn math, and I ask grammar school colleague if she can help me with it
8.10.2024 - city divided by small dune, at ex job I got task to do near the end of shift to send song as file and on monday she asks me angrily did I do that task and I can't remember if I did it, when I come to office I see my desk has been moved, train travel through germany
9.10.2024 - trump rally and held hostages, we ran through back shoot at us, ex neighbor came and ask me if her pc is finished, graphic card was noisy, there was a huge ball of hair on the ventilator, but there is still glitch on the screen
10.10.2024 - party in garage, ex neighbor, and I dance to disco music with her, me without soc anx and I talk naturally and make dance moves from travolta movie, i suggested disco music to be played, i move big couch to talk to her, there are no additional lights inside so I try to switch on but there is short circuit, i tell to open the garage doors because outside is tramonta and there is still some light, and I ask why it should not stay open since it will be brighter inside
11.10.2024 - investigation what happened, beach on Atlantic shore in America, hateful town at the coast with criminal inhabitants and houses have strange shape of roof - diagonally cut and filled around like pie, I take a swim at the crowded beach and I comment that water is warm
12.10.2024 - foreign town, train, talking japanese funny words at work, playing soccer, missing goal why I defend
13.10.2024 - road over mountain near coast, we have been only to the half of the way to the top and I look at the mountain from afar and analyze where we have been, crude to touch, ripped vocal cord I hold it in a hand and I touch the rough part where was the cancer and I explain it to others in heightened state of frenzy
14.10.2024 - preparing cake but there are not enough ingredients, shops are full of people, found parking place near public pool and there is a small room for parking a bicycle, drawing cat and commenting "his life is list, it is boring list", I press wrong button and training program starts
15.10.2024 - preparing food but don't know how, listening to the best jazz album of all time, being at high school and I say I must go home for some reason but instead I go to a supermarket shopping and I forget to buy garlic from the shopping list, there is a big family gathering and I was still in bed when I hear their voices outside coming to me, walking across the city street by using underground walk pass-way and then I go through park with high and steep hills where I encounter a blocked path due to fence and I try to overpass it
16.10.2024 - ex boss asked me to show how to download
17.10.2024 - new job in some apartment, I had to stay there and there were wasps inside ceiling lights, animals small monkeys under the glass and giant lion near the door, buying farewell gifts for colleagues
18.10.2024 - catching the train, went to shop with skateboard made out of a wooden bookshelf
19.10.2024 - lost luggage, I complain, ex neighbor, test done from the high raised bed, I got grant to film movie
20.10.2024 - explaining, ex colleague
21.10.2024 - gaston as an idea for a comic book, figuring out mathematical task of dividing interest percentage through the year
22.10.2024 - high school test
23.10.2024 - *-*
24.10.2024 - bad product, blocked road
25.10.2024 - ex boss, pulled by cop
26.10.2024 - cowboys, someone's birthday, ex colleague, broken lawn mower - and I temporarily fix it by adjusting small plactic
27.10.2024 - merry go round tumbles on ground as part of an act I witness it and then I try to get around it by climbing out, Brazil documentary
28.10.2024 - i throw essence of social anxiety in the street, i open up, ex colleague, examining problem wt work
29.10.2024 - bicycle repair app, mathematics class
30.10.2024 - swim in a cold but clear water
31.10.2024 - malta, ex collegue that went to malta, beach, ex collegue driver, walked on frozen pool
1.11.2024 - race, chase
2.11.2024 - feel responsible
3.11.2024 - afraid to make mistake, I've been accused that I had been loud and some girl committed suicide
4.11.2024 - discussion, new town, been around about shady alley and then end up in a concrete passage way tunnel that someone described as warning to avoid, me fixing computers at old job
5.11.2024 - commenting ai created image, adaptation of a film
6.11.2024 - telling story, new years eve, friends of my sister are there, they are given car to go back home and I greet them outside wearing light jacket in the cold and I realize that I locked myself out because there was another set of keys which are locked in the room that I forgot to take, standing outside I see nearby mountain and curvy road leading to the top with a female jogger running down the street early in the morning
7.11.2024 - i gather paper documentation all that is needed to apply and I needed to add one more item but the problem came up, a growth on the neck as if it is a tomato, walking over the bridge in home town and the river is clean, sand beneath and people are swimming and I am on my way to the school and i want to swim to and I come to school without my sneakers
8.11.2024 - addition to the milk box opener, land being dug up for the purpose of being cemented, driving a car
9.11.2024 - I found puppy outside and I thought it was our cat, no ticket in train, new place to stay in another country and it is not luxurious
10.11.2024 - shop, confusion, misunderstanding
11.11.2024 - father complaining while i was driving why i did not make a turn to the street we passed by
12.11.2024 - kitty in hiding, christmas presents I ordered from some office administrator
13.11.2024 - trying to convince and explain, presentation, zelenski signed my book with a note, ex colleague
14.11.2024 - talking about fraud, picture frames, school book in german language about mathematics
15.11.2024 - talk show, closeness
16.11.2024 - about what is real
17.11.2024 - filling the form, been told how to do it, ex colleague
18.11.2024 - *-*
19.11.2024 - prepare lunch to explain, ex job got task to do and I don't know how, avalanche on the mountain looking from below multiple, a car rushing from mountain with 3 person visible and crushing in the street below, buying foreign magazines
20.11.2024 - celebration that I don't want to be in
21.11.2024 - *-*
22.11.2024 - ex colleague that died 2 years ago, ex job, installing software did not run for him and it went fine with me, me cycling over overpass and there was a thick fog on the top, there is some sort of hotel at the top and I intended to stay for 2 hours but I needed to pay 250 eur for the stay there and I didn't like it because I knew it was a scam, then I go around athletic path where I usually jog and I go around it like it is a lake so I watch my step. On the other side I meet ex colleague who is distressed and he says that he plans to sue our ex boss but the suit is all low key
23.11.2024 - took shoes from aunt twice, she criticized me that I did not leave water on, petrol station, at the cash register I could not remember the number
24.11.2024 - two mice come out of plastic pipe at the bottom of a house, and I chased them away and I caught the bigger one, house in a Turkiye and I see neighbor from below through the window upstairs in the night time, water for the house is broken and there are two water tanks outside where 1 of them is full
25.11.2024 - teacher throwing something
26.11.2024 - using ai image and then explain it, allow people to be where what they want to be, let them go, being in a foreign town near sea and people swimming, foreign city seen from a window, I chase particles out and it falls and I throw it out, residence building has been moved to another city, tv guide
27.11.2024 - grapes stuck growing on my feet, ants popping up and walk on my body
28.11.2024 - *-*
29.11.2024 - 2 bicycle riders ran into a van driven by ex colleague and she was going backwards and she saw me in the distance when the crash happened, a person gets fired because his voice was not deep enough and manly as the rest of the team, rain
30.11.2024 - life as a movie, oversimplified, new job and i like it, new town
1.12.2024 - comic book in real life, me confronting difficult ex job colleague, beach, at hut I was told to place the walking plates, walking in a city and realizing it is Paris and I show the attractions visible from here like gigantic arch that is movable when traffic moves under seen from far away, and there is in inscription on the top in english mentioning the god
2.12.2024 - neighbor telling he has separate toilette, I have test and I did not prepare for it, red paint on my feet and I can't wash it, it is seen through green socks and I panic about it, and also skin peeling of genitalia, high school test and schoolmates
3.12.2024 - checking janet jackson album, train ride and I have no ticket but I get off on the next station
4.12.2024 - I got baby girl and I forgot to feed her because I don't eat frequently, watching tv series I taped on vcr
5.12.2024 - leaking pipes in basement, me being afraid of going down the stairs, large groups, we are in class and have to leave unlocked, glass cake - cover is made out of caramelized candy so it appears as glass, ex boss giving lecture
6.12.2024 - play soccer, to test what will happen, being picked up in air by drone
7.12.2024 - filling up the form for health insurance
8.12.2024 - test, travel, important game, branch stuck on a mechanical arm in front of the apartment building swaying in wind
9.12.2024 - me explaining bias narrative
10.12.2024 - adapting to change, new job office, christmas tree
11.12.2024 - new city, crowds in street, I try to cross the road and I carry the bread and I want to leave it at the apartment before going to downtown
12.12.2024 - singing competition
13.12.2024 - *-*
14.12.2024 - fun book with three comic books inside it and encyclopedia facts and articles and it is cheap, there is a possibility to hear marketing adds and then to make money while reading, staircase at apartment, traveling and then I need to book another hotel while being in one already
15.12.2024 - gate, quickly need to get out but id card is on the seat, neighbor
16.12.2024 - secure, listened, confident
17.12.2024 - *-*
18.12.2024 - bad song
19.12.2024 - as decoy, radio show with guidance and cool music, ex boss giving transport direction to job
20.12.2024 - kids protesting by throwing rocks, playing pc game building a road
21.12.2024 - cousin, foreign city, transport between cities
22.12.2024 - neighbor, relative, city travel
23.12.2024 - travel, seeing station
24.12.2024 - waiting a train with ex school mate that I dream repeatedly of her
25.12.2024 - taking things for granted, cards being scattered around and I need to return them, 3 on location that I agreed to pick up, ex colleague, we lure people talking things we believe they would like and then in theory I expand my comfort zone by making mistakes and being resilient to pain and sucking at tasks and repeating it, doing it over again even in failure and criticism
26.12.2024 - cowboys outside and they want to get inside the house, ex colleague
27.12.2024 - having fun with friends, carrying logs on trolley carrier
28.12.2024 - *-*
29.12.2024 - rent to be alone on holidays, party, ex neighbor that hated me always, colleagues, i resolve issues, drive bike on busy road and that is why i decide to turn left instead of right in order to find easy way to get on my route but I discover that on the left is a close coastal town with walking paths which is connected to the city
30.12.2024 - monitoring, in the class, trying to make friends
31.12.2024 - english class in high school, ex schoolmate that was popular girl
![Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM w Richard Schwartz & Laurence Heller
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRTHacVAwdk
One interesting area they discuss is about parts work. While IFS is a parts-based model, focused on the three main parts of exiles, managers and firefighters, NARM uses a more general perspective referring to the two different aspects of self, child consciousness and embodied adult consciousness. As Dr. Heller says, “we disconnect certain important elements of who we are from our consciousness. And generally then later those foreclosed aspects of ourselves return in the form of various kinds of symptoms…which are artifacts of the child consciousness. [NARM] teaches people how to support the development of the embodied adult consciousness.” Speaking to the 3 main parts in IFS, Dr. Schwartz talks about the firefighters and managers, two forms of protection which protect against old wounding (the exiles). “Firefighters are trying to fight the exiles’ pain and they do it in contrast to the managers…They take you out of control. They are very impulsive and they don’t care about the collateral damage that you do to your body or your relationships. They just know they’ve got to get you out somehow. So most symptom patterns in the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders], I could give you this alternative explanation for, in terms of which protectors are clustered.”](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/736/776/806/786/425/small/96beacfadc8c6e7b.png)
![Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM w Richard Schwartz & Laurence Heller
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRTHacVAwdk
One interesting area they discuss is about parts work. While IFS is a parts-based model, focused on the three main parts of exiles, managers and firefighters, NARM uses a more general perspective referring to the two different aspects of self, child consciousness and embodied adult consciousness. As Dr. Heller says, “we disconnect certain important elements of who we are from our consciousness. And generally then later those foreclosed aspects of ourselves return in the form of various kinds of symptoms…which are artifacts of the child consciousness. [NARM] teaches people how to support the development of the embodied adult consciousness.” Speaking to the 3 main parts in IFS, Dr. Schwartz talks about the firefighters and managers, two forms of protection which protect against old wounding (the exiles). “Firefighters are trying to fight the exiles’ pain and they do it in contrast to the managers…They take you out of control. They are very impulsive and they don’t care about the collateral damage that you do to your body or your relationships. They just know they’ve got to get you out somehow. So most symptom patterns in the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders], I could give you this alternative explanation for, in terms of which protectors are clustered.”](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/736/825/858/341/980/small/4578a03a7e7602f8.png)
![Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM w Richard Schwartz & Laurence Heller
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRTHacVAwdk
One interesting area they discuss is about parts work. While IFS is a parts-based model, focused on the three main parts of exiles, managers and firefighters, NARM uses a more general perspective referring to the two different aspects of self, child consciousness and embodied adult consciousness. As Dr. Heller says, “we disconnect certain important elements of who we are from our consciousness. And generally then later those foreclosed aspects of ourselves return in the form of various kinds of symptoms…which are artifacts of the child consciousness. [NARM] teaches people how to support the development of the embodied adult consciousness.” Speaking to the 3 main parts in IFS, Dr. Schwartz talks about the firefighters and managers, two forms of protection which protect against old wounding (the exiles). “Firefighters are trying to fight the exiles’ pain and they do it in contrast to the managers…They take you out of control. They are very impulsive and they don’t care about the collateral damage that you do to your body or your relationships. They just know they’ve got to get you out somehow. So most symptom patterns in the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders], I could give you this alternative explanation for, in terms of which protectors are clustered.”](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/736/842/162/836/112/small/8d0fc828883f71b5.png)
![https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeehIpxH5k
overcoming malignant shame [cc]
845,059 views 2 May 2022
A reflection on one of the most damaging kinds of manipulation used by abusers: shaming. Where real-life cases are cited, details may be altered to preserve anonymity.
You can support the channel at: / theramintrees
--
0:00 a common emotion
1:28 defining shame
1:51 shame vs guilt
3:00 psychological consequences
5:50 private shame
8:40 common sources of shame
14:15 retraining the brain
20:15 judging what's acceptable
21:34 public shame
22:27 tyranny of the majority
23:04 coming out
25:05 some shame-inducing groups
30:23 a faceless mob?
32:30 shaming by stealth
--
opening quote:
The shame-bound individual is like a fox
that’s been trained to hunt itself to exhaustion
while the hounds sit back and enjoy the show.](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/823/223/160/252/050/small/8527a6ae83682580.png)
![overcoming malignant shame [cc]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeehIpxH5k
The underlying message is the same: There is something fundamentally wrong with you. Some abusers convey this message directly: openly telling targets they're worthless, rotten, degraded. Many abusive religious groups plump for this option teaching targets to grovel to forgive them for their wretchdness. A more indirect method is to set impossibly high standards.](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/823/241/165/687/582/small/81414bb341c00a0a.png)
![https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeehIpxH5k
overcoming malignant shame [cc]
845,059 views 2 May 2022
A reflection on one of the most damaging kinds of manipulation used by abusers: shaming. Where real-life cases are cited, details may be altered to preserve anonymity.
You can support the channel at: / theramintrees
--
0:00 a common emotion
1:28 defining shame
1:51 shame vs guilt
3:00 psychological consequences
5:50 private shame
8:40 common sources of shame
14:15 retraining the brain
20:15 judging what's acceptable
21:34 public shame
22:27 tyranny of the majority
23:04 coming out
25:05 some shame-inducing groups
30:23 a faceless mob?
32:30 shaming by stealth
--
opening quote:
The shame-bound individual is like a fox
that’s been trained to hunt itself to exhaustion
while the hounds sit back and enjoy the show.](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/823/317/025/642/943/small/e7d74bbffbc5bef0.png)
![https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeehIpxH5k
overcoming malignant shame [cc]
845,059 views 2 May 2022
A reflection on one of the most damaging kinds of manipulation used by abusers: shaming. Where real-life cases are cited, details may be altered to preserve anonymity.
You can support the channel at: / theramintrees
--
0:00 a common emotion
1:28 defining shame
1:51 shame vs guilt
3:00 psychological consequences
5:50 private shame
8:40 common sources of shame
14:15 retraining the brain
20:15 judging what's acceptable
21:34 public shame
22:27 tyranny of the majority
23:04 coming out
25:05 some shame-inducing groups
30:23 a faceless mob?
32:30 shaming by stealth
--
opening quote:
The shame-bound individual is like a fox
that’s been trained to hunt itself to exhaustion
while the hounds sit back and enjoy the show.](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/823/339/904/789/793/small/65959adee44ee039.png)
