77: listopada 2026

Freud came up with some great insight - such as Id, Ego and SuperEgo.
However, his ideas are too complicated and they are indiscernible to many people, untranslatable.
It is almost like he wrote perfect language in Binary, a lots of zeros and 1s which only a computer can understand and run. Not human being(s).
The question is how did he do it? In age without Internet, without easy access to information, without psychology being mainstream, with psychiatry being in infancy.
The answer is - he used mathematics approach.
Just like Einstein. Einstein didn't had access to internet, sci-fi movies, he wasn't alien - yet he predicted black hole which was proven to exist 100 years after his theories.
Both Freud and Einstein simply observed what they see and draw unknown parameters from it and derive solved equations.
Freud worked with Charcot - he worked with patients - so he observed the symptoms. Instead of rejecting their reports as mentally ill nonsense, he wrote it down as equation and then compared it with "normal" people. The result were his discoveries.
Unlike CBT which is denying and destroying social anxiety. CBT therapists do not actually listen to the socially anxious. Instead they place commands and programs into their memory and expect them to run it like a computer, hoping that it will work.

Mental health issues carry stigma. Mostly due to psychiatry. People who struggle with social anxiety are immediately seen and observed as cowards and neurotic, as someone who we must not listen to or otherwise we might catch the disease or dirt. This way - people who are not mentally ill at all - are immediately seen as such and they are being ignored whatever they report. Mental illness can be divided into people who are unable to function and people who are responsive.
If someone is responsive - there is no illness that is making this person a second class, a slave who must be silent and censored - but this is exactly how CBT treats social anxiety.
Social anxiety is an issue with logical fallacies - not cognitive distortions as CBT tries to push agenda.
CBT is forcing the narrative that social anxiety is a character defect, issue with lack of discipline, lack of stoicism, lack of confidence, lack of social skills, lack of will-power.

There are universal truths.
These apply to all people - even if they are "second rate, second class" citizens. They are universal. General. Such universal truths are discoveries which Freud and Einstein made and later been proved as correct.
We know that something is correct and true - when it responds according to its program. It has no detours, it has not if clauses, it has no trickery, hidden parts of the contracts. It is pure truth which cannot be proven wrong.

Our experiences of social anxiety are universal truths. They count as evidence and should be taken into account for investigation and analysis.
We are not imagining social anxiety DSM symptoms or countless other social anxiety symptoms which DSM or CBT never heard of. We are not inventing our symptoms of social anxiety. These are coming from somewhere and we are experiencing them, we experience panic and anxiety and heart beating faster and discomfort and rumination and PureOCD and worry - this is not something we lie that we struggle with.

Problem with CBT and neurotypical society - is that they are dismissing our experiences and then push their own version of Universal laws into others on social anxiety. This is the same as if we try to push binary math language into some national language. They both work - but they run on completely different systems. We need translator to make it communicate between them.
But that is exact same math equation which Freud and Einstein had when they came up with their discoveries - the exactly the same procedure. You have unknown variables on one side and we have result on the other side of equation. And the result is the translation which we need to discover what is the problem.

Instead CBT is forcing the narrative onto the socially anxious without trying to resolve unknown parameters which socially anxious people struggle with. And on top of that - we end up with stigma when we ask for help. We get wrong explanations which do not work.

For example,
self help authors, some CBT therapist will say that they have struggled with "social anxiety", too. They will claim that in grammar school they tried to play soccer and they were excluded by other boys. In fact this story I heard on two separate sources. Then they felt "social anxiety". They say that they resolved their "social anxiety" by pushing through, through discipline, through having will power and stoicism and trying again and through talking and exposing. And now they force this same cure onto the truly socially anxious.
In reality - people who really have social anxiety -they weren't only excluded by other kids. They were teased and mocked based on sexuality and gender, they were put down and left alone - so there was no ambient to talk to anyone at all or to try discipline and will power - since they were abandoned, left totally alone and mocked. They have been bullied and called sissy.
Whereas CBT therapist, due to their heterosexuality, privilege being born in wealthy family and having a "correct" shade of skin - they did not experience abuse at all. All they experiences as "social anxiety" was awkwardness. They weren't rejected for being themselves. And kids accepted them eventually after hanging out with them, since they fitted to the norms which bullies and other kids wanted in their friends.

This way self help authors and CBT therapists - never actually know what is bigotry happening in developmental years, they do not know what is prejudice and when people hate you without any valid reason other than whim. They will only understand a small amount of shyness and fears which they will label as "social anxiety" and then try to impose solutions which actually do not fit for someone who really has true social anxiety - which was result of chronic abuse.

CBT is pathologizing social anxiety because it is able to see only a small part of social anxiety - that it blocks life, that it prevents having a job, it makes people poor and isolated and dysfunctional. So it is bad.

But in the same time - social anxiety holds moral and ethical standards, it holds sense of injustice and memories of abuse and how to detect abusive sick pathological people who are anti-social. It holds issues which are complex and contradictory but not bad.

Like in Serbian elections - happening right in the moment, whole week.
Main TV public station in Serbia was a propaganda machine and TV media described students as bad. They even spread lies about student movement - describing them as terrorists even though they did not have any evidence to prove those claims - yet this was repeated often on air. Yesterday - one of the student leader got live on air at central news show - and he explained that this was happening, that students were not allowed to speak their side of the story and TV propaganda spread lies about students without any evidence.

This is exactly how CBT and neurotypical society works, too.
They misdiagnose, they do not know the truth, they do not listen to the socially anxious, they dismiss socially anxious as second rate unreliable narrators due to social anxiety, they impose fiction about social anxiety as absolute and universal truth, and then set up socially anxious to be stuck in loop.

For example -
one common CBT myth about social anxiety was especially spread around through Jordan Peterson for 11 years now. He claimed that socially anxious do not look at other people. This is a lie. This is not true.
Socially anxious look and monitor other people, their face gestures, small movements -due to social anxiety itself. After all - it is not called self anxiety.
Then there is second common CBT myth - and that is repeated in almost all videos about social anxiety. Videos often start with claim "When you walk into a room you feel anxiety". This is not true. We do not feel social anxiety ALL THE TIME. It is not general anxiety. It is called social + anxiety. It means that there are triggers of social anxiety - and just like name suggests - it is social element that is causing anxiety, toxic people being abusive and irrational with their criticism, remarks and scrutiny.

Third common CBT myth is Spotlight effect - which became staple of CBT since 6 years now. It is being said that all people do not care about other people, that all people worry only about their business and they do not really think or worry or hate other people.
How can CBT know what ALL people think? We cannot read other people's mind - but CBT is stating this myth as if it can.
There are many pathological and predatory personalities out there and they think and worry a lot about other people and how to abuse them.
Plus this:

VICO

u/Vicophobia01

I found something out recently and I’m still not sure how to feel about it.

There are studies.

Actual peer reviewed studies.

That show neurotypical people experience immediate, instinctive discomfort around autistic people.

Within seconds. Before a single word has been exchanged.

When we report our symptoms - they are universal truths for social anxiety.
Nobody can come outside and tell us that we are imagining our symptoms. This is harmful, called gaslighting, often found in narcissistic abuse.

When we do not know what we feel, when we are being told that what we feel is untrue, when we are being ordered to accept someone else's narrative as true even though it is not reality - then what happens is misdiagnosis.

We get wrong treatment.
And this is called Frame problem.
Before we solve any problem - we need to frame it. We need to know what are known and unknown parameters. So CBT idea that we erase the reality and replace it with someone's wish what reality is - we will get crap.
We will try to cure something that is imaginary and fiction.
We will waste money and time and energy into fixing something that is not broken.

Problem with fixing something is that this is now Operant Conditioning.
It means - there are punishments and rewards which modulate and change and shape our thinking and our behavior.
So it is obvious that this is dangerous if we attempt to change something that is healthy and normal and functioning - but we see it as sick because CBT told us so. Milgram Experiment. We will keep administer electric shocks because someone in authority told us so. No matter the screams and the voltage.

CBT is abuse - it should be banned, just like conversion therapy is crime.

Operant conditioning can be used for bad or good.
In CBT world - it is used with good intentions. But we all know the saying that good intentions are path to hell.
We use Operant Conditioning - when we try to remove or change undesirable behavior.
This is used in childhood when kids are taught how to be social, how to be clean and take care of own body, so that they do not poop all around. It is teaching us how to develop unwritten social skills and to adopt to unwritten social norms.
However - Operant conditioning can also be used as a scam - as trickery. To cheat someone for agenda like profit. It is used in Narcissistic abuse through Gaslighting and Bread-crumbing and Discard push and pull dynamics.

Social anxiety is happening because of trauma in childhood. Due to Operant conditioning being mis-used in childhood.
Kids who were punished and criticized all the time, unreasonable and irrational demands were pushed on them and there were no rewards. So the child is conditioned to see social contact as danger and threat where there are no rewards in interactions. Only terror panic and put downs about smallest mistakes or flaws or errors or not knowing something.

Then such kids develop social anxiety in adolescence and seek help - and then CBT repeats the same narcissistic abuse dynamics where socially anxious are put down, not listened to, punished for feeling social anxiety and not rewarded. CBT is trying to stigmatize social anxiety in order to make socially anxious reject social anxiety as if it is a choice. This is how narcissistic abuse works, too.
CBT does not understand nor trying to understand social anxiety - instead it is following snapshot of reality and tries to implement fantasy onto reality.

In CBT world - all social anxiety is social awkwardness. There is no trauma at all.

In reality - social anxiety is divided into two main groups:
1) social awkwardness - social simplex - removed through learning social skills and removing cognitive distortions and through exposure - it has no toxic shame nor perfectionism and can occur during prison or covid isolation, it does not have triggers, it is imaginary and Spotlight Effect - and it does not have time stamp when it starts. One "social anxiety" coach reported that he noticed his "social anxiety" when he was 4 years old.
2) social trauma - social complex - which is not cognitive distortion but mixture of plethora of logical fallacy loops woven between each other like a yearn, it starts around age 12 or 13 (arrested development issue), there are social anxiety triggers
This group is divided into two sub-groups:
2a) self centered - like vulnerable narcissism, there is resistance to treatment due to cocoon, often Fight trauma response
2b) socially aware - there is reality testing and openness to learn, there is Fawning trauma response

So when socially anxious buy self help books, read about social anxiety online or in articles - they will be funneled and directed to CBT. Many people say well you have other therapies available. But almost all socially anxious people do not know that. They have been forced to try CBT without being warned how much harmful it is.
CBT is Disease Model. It is not holistic therapy. It only looks at visible observable symptoms and it is not aware that there are other symptoms.
So what happens next is a spin. Socially anxious - due to social anxiety itself WON'T report all social anxiety symptoms because they have actual social anxiety, fear of scrutiny and punishment.
When we do not report all - we won't get correct treatment.
Also - many people who suffer from social anxiety do not have PhD in psychiatry - so it means they won't have correct vocabulary to describe what they are feeling. Instead they will use wrong labels to describe their own feelings. To make it worse - CBT and self help industry will put their own words into socially anxious so that socially anxious repeat them as parrots even though they do not have it or know what it truly means.

Then CBT and self help books use Trickery. Chicanery. Scam.
CBT claims that social anxiety is making us poor. That once we remove social anxiety -we will become rich, we will have job. Implying we will get rich and famous and have love life automatically. And then we will never feel depressed and anxious or afraid ever again.
These are lies.

Michael Jackson suffered from severe social anxiety. When Simpsons producers came to his ranch, we hid upstairs in the room because he was to panicked to show his face since Matt was being late. He didn't want to talk to the rest of the cast - due to social anxiety. In the same time he was rich, famous, he was all over TV, he made movies, he sang in front of billions of people. So CBT is lying to us. Social anxiety does not automatically means we will be poor. Nor that if we remove social anxiety -that we will never feel anxiety - this is nonsense and dangerous.
If we never had ability to feel anxiety or fear - we would be swindled by all crooks who come by. We would stay trapped in narcissistic abuse and never leave - since we would not have receptors or detectors that something is very wrong.

Without identity-
concept which CBT never explains - we will always seek wrong job and suffer. Feel anxiety as result.
We won't know what is cozy for us. We will copy paste other people and follow their ideas about what is cool and accepted and then try to crap fit to other people's expectations about what is nice.
Without self-validation, concept which CBT never explains - we will feel comfortable around abusers who will exploit us and make our life miserable when we talk about what we like or dislike, mock us for being different or boring to them, we will then walk on eggshells around them and feel anxiety and try to make them happy all the time - since we don't know what is our identity.

When we are being told that social anxiety is disorder - this is not self validation. This is instruction of self hatred and self rejection. It tells us whenever we feel anxiety - that we are disorder. We are now conditioned to treat ourselves as enemy and to attack ourselves. That we feel disgust towards ourselves when we feel social anxiety.
And this maladaptive idea will copy paste itself into our social world. It will make us stuck in social anxiety, we won't get freed from it. We will hate other people when they feel anxious, when they are moody and afraid. We will try to fix them and feel responsible for their emotions since they suffer, and we are being told by CBT that we know the cure for social anxiety - which we will try to apply to this person and hence become their mommy - just like in narcissistic abuse. So CBT is instructing us how to develop actual disorder - personality disorder. Instead of helping us - it makes us feel like crap and it messes up with our decision making abilities and we reject our brain, we distrust our ability to come up with decisions which will end in result as disorder and paralysis.

CBT therapist do not understand this concept of lost identity.
They don't get it.
They can't comprehend it even though they have PhD in psychiatry/psychology or whatever course they finished.
Someone who has naturally developed identity or is stuck in narcissistic disorder - won't have idea what happens to people who do not have developed identity.

Since social anxiety starts around age 12, 13 - these are our final stages of developmental stages (Jean Piaget, Leo Vygotsky). We are about to discover naturally and automatically on our own just like other kids - who we are, what we like, what we dislike, learn our role in world, what we were designed to do - but social anxiety happens and we never finish this task.
When we do not know who we are - we are unable to enter Flow Zone. When we are in Flow zone - we are outside of anxiety. When we are in anxiety - we are in Survival mode all the time.

This is foreign concept to CBT therapist and self help industry. This is abstract concept which they can't comprehend. If CBT knew it - then CBT would implode. All that is created in CBT structure of Disease model would crumble down - since it is not operational, it is not healthy. It is based on self centeredness and self contentedness. It is unable to see anything holistically.

Freud took into consideration reports from his patients - and he wasn't trying to impose dogma, instead he listened.
As such - he noticed loops - loops which I often explain in social anxiety.
However he used different vocabulary to describe it.
I will translate into English this quote from Freud book, by Richard Appignanesi and Oscar Zarate:

page129
Freud said: "Instead of remembering, the neurotic person repeats".
He repeats because something unconscious, in the past, is suppressed, it is causing resistance in remembering".

We need to discover Universal laws and then draw equations from them to resolve issues.
When we feel social anxiety - instead of quick rejection as CBT is telling us to do - we need to Frame the problem first.
We need to investigate and be curious - why it happens?
When it happens? Who was there when we felt social anxiety? What was intensity and did it repeat?
What is the trigger?
What happens when we interact with the trigger?
Being social means being friendly and nice, and open.
If the other person was social - we should feel safe. So was the trigger safe?
If not - then our reactions which we experience as social anxiety - are normal reaction to someone who is anti-social. To someone who is abnormal. So our reactions are not pathology as CBT is instructing us to see them as such.
Our life is not ruined because we experience social anxiety. We are not doomed to be poor because we feel DSM social anxiety symptoms.

In math,
A subtraction equation is solved with the inverse operation.

To solve a problem we need parts which we disown, which we hate, which we suppress, which we are instructed to hate and destroy, instructed to deny them and hide them.
When we pathologize social anxiety, since CBT is ordering us to self pathologize ourselves, we are unable to resolve it. We can't solve social anxiety when we do not look at it, when we can't frame the problem.

How mathematics frame the problem?
The pattern shows how to rewrite the equation so x is by itself.
We always have to subtract the part from our total starting amount.
If we start with 16 and end up with 9, the missing piece is 16-9
16-x=9
x=16-9

CBT is based on Disease Model - where social anxiety is seen only as delusion, as imaginary issue. Therefore social anxiety is not taken into equation. It is not subtracted from the "norm" what is considered normal.
As such we have clash in two different symptoms which do not and cannot interact.
We cannot impose binary computer language into French or Spanish language. These are different worlds and both are functioning for the users who are using them - computer is machine that can only run binary code. People who live in some nation speak their national language.
Person, human being won't know what 1011100111110110 means.
Also, if we write Homer Odyssey into Java program without using Java norms - such program won't run, it won't work since it is not set in Java language, doesn't have Java norms and rules how to read it.

We resolve social anxiety when we compare it with "normal" behavior and deduct will show what is wrong.

In social anxiety -since this is Arrested Developmental issue - the missing piece is identity.
Identity which "non socially anxious" people learn and develop naturally on their own in teen years, naturally without any mechanical intervention to develop it.
Without identity - we can't reach Flow Zone.
When we are in Flow Zone - then we are "normal" - even though the standard of normal may differ from culture to culture or ambient from ambient.

Drag queens look super confident and have fun in their calling. They are in the Flow Zone.
They do not experience social anxiety. They do not have paralysis due to PureOCD.
They float between boredom and anxiety - which is definition of Flow Zone - so they might experience some anxiety - but this would not become their primary preoccupation and they would resolve it without hysteria and drama. Their goals and focus would be set to where they feel Ventral Vagal, cozy, safe, where there is psychological safety.
In some Eastern countries they would be arrested as disorder.

Socialization should be easy.
Socialization should be fun, diverse, energetic, interesting, always learn something new.
In CBT world - socialization means going to a club, teen party or talking to cashier.
In CBT world mobbing does not count as social contact - and it is never described in self help books. Instead socially anxious are instructed to believe they can quit their toxic job any time without any consequences and find another job in 5 seconds. CBT believes that when we are abused that toxic person will declare themselves that they are toxic so we will know that they are abusers, and that we won't be gaslighted to blame ourselves when someone is abusive.

When we feel social anxiety - it means that something is broken. That there is trickery. Logical fallacy which appears to us as Ultimate truth.
When we do not feel safe, when we are not in Ventral Vagal - it means that there is no Psychological safety.
It means that people around us are anti-social, and unfriendly - they do not make us feel cozy. They are abusive and toxic.

CBT is instructing us that we do not have boundaries. That we must talk to all people.
We don't need to. We can have factions and keep away from people whom we deem as ambiguous and shady.

But in order to trust ourselves - and that we do not feel guilty when we reject unfair criticism - we need to know our identity first.

Criticism is great when it is true and fair and without hidden agenda. Then we can learn and improve.
When criticism is trickery - it means we will be forced to accept some kind of contract where we won't know all postulates, and many consequences will be deliberately hidden from our awareness and from our knowledge. This way - we will feel anxiety - because we will feel that something is wrong - but we won't have ability to fact-check the lies we were forced to accept as true.

It is crucial that we do not pathologize our feelings and emotions when they are negative and difficult and scary - we need to solve them, Frame the problem - and we can only do that when we do not pathologize them, as CBT is instructing us to do with social anxiety.

“Don't try to change people. Reject them as they are.”
— Nicole Machiavelli

👊👊

Blog posts:

Do Movies Cause Social Anxiety? ✌ Strong reaction to someone rude ✌ The Agreeableness Theory ✌Managing Social Anxiety and Toxic Shame ✌ Complex Trauma induce Social Anxiety and Avoidance ✌Navigating through social anxiety ✌ Accepting social anxiety ✌ Social anxiety is Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) ✌ Quiet BPD is social anxiety ✌ Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse ✌ High Suggestibility is Social anxiety ✌ Social anxiety is nervous system injury trauma ✌

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četvrtak, 29. listopada 2026.

Social anxiety ideas