Mental abuse

 How to Recognize the Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse
https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse

Psychological abuse involves a person’s attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. It’s in the abuser’s words and actions, as well as their persistence in these behaviors.

Humiliation, negating, criticizing
These tactics are meant to undermine your self-esteem. The abuse is harsh and unrelenting in matters big and small:
Character assassination. This usually involves the word “always.” You’re always late, wrong, screwing up, disagreeable, and so on. Basically, they say you’re not a good person.
Yelling. Yelling, screaming, and swearing are meant to intimidate and make you feel small and inconsequential. It might be accompanied by fist-pounding or throwing things.
Patronizing. “Aw, sweetie, I know you try, but this is just beyond your understanding.”
Public embarrassment. They pick fights, expose your secrets, or make fun of your shortcomings in public.
“Joking.” The jokes might have a grain of truth to them or be a complete fabrication.
Sarcasm. Often just a dig in disguise. When you object, they claim to have been teasing and tell you to stop taking everything so seriously.
Insults of your appearance. They tell you, just before you go out, that your hair is ugly or your outfit is clownish.
Put-downs of your interests.
Pushing your buttons. Once your abuser knows about something that annoys you, they’ll bring it up or do it every chance they get.

Control and shame
Trying to make you feel ashamed of your inadequacies is just another path to power:
Lecturing. Belaboring your errors with long monologues makes it clear they think you’re beneath them.
Direct orders.
Outbursts.
Treating you like a child. They tell you what to wear, what and how much to eat, or which friends you can see.
Feigned helplessness. They may say they don’t know how to do something. Sometimes it’s easier to do it yourself than to explain it. They know this and take advantage of it.
They walk out. In a social situation, stomping out of the room leaves you holding the bag. At home, it’s a tool to keep the problem unresolved.

Accusing, blaming, and denial
Denying something you know is true. This is called gaslighting.
Using guilt.
Goading then blaming. Abusers know just how to upset you. But once the trouble starts, it’s your fault for creating it.

Emotional neglect and isolation
Shutting down communication. They’ll ignore your attempts at conversation in person, by text, or by phone.
Dehumanizing you. They’ll look away when you’re talking or stare at something else when they speak to you.

What to do
Accept that the abuse isn’t your responsibility. Don’t try to reason with your abuser. You may want to help, but it’s unlikely they’ll break this pattern of behavior without professional counseling. That’s their responsibility.
Disengage and set personal boundaries. Decide that you won’t respond to abuse or get sucked into arguments. Stick to it. Limit exposure to the abuser as much as you can.
Exit the relationship or circumstance. If possible, cut all ties. Make it clear that it’s over and don’t look back.