77

What behavior is unacceptable with social anxiety?
What is disorder part in social anxiety?

CBT tell us to simply expose ourselves to fears - but CBT does not understand social anxiety mindset based on ACoA and ACE experiences - where we never learned to have hope and feeling of expectation and anticipation that things will be great for us in the future.
So when we expose and get into contact with vague or abusive people whom we cannot escape or run away from - in the exposure we will not have structure, we won't have scaffolding to support ourselves at all. We won't have structure to help us cross bridges - we won't have plan to better future at all - when we expose. Instead we will have fears and panic because this is what we learned in ACE ACoA. And then we will end up being shy, afraid, anxious - and CBT and neurotypical people will pathologize our traits and fears and order us to be confident. Which will make anxiety worse. But all we need is structure - that we see our future is safe, great, wealthy and abundant and happy. Like - having a lot of money, not depending on toxic people anymore, not being stuck in abuse and oppression - that are structures which we never learned to have in our mind due to abuse.

The point of structure is not that we delude ourselves, the point is not that we build a fantasy - it is the hope that make us create safe place in our mind where we are allowing our cortex brain to build decisions which will help us to handle difficult problems, difficult people and traps we are stuck inside. That is why I would not pathologize social anxiety symptoms - these are helping us to survive difficult people and difficult situations which we cannot overcome at the moment due to lack of money and support and lack of helping structures.

(15.1.2025)

Kevin from Sensitive Stability made me realize something I was not aware before:
that when I expose, when I expand my comfort zone - I will usually put myself down and minimize any achievement. But the reason why I do this - apart from obvious internalized toxic shame and operant conditioning - is actually my outlook - I see any experiment or action as meaningless and I seek approval from other people around me - who will in 99 percent of cases put it down and minimize it. I do not see any of my trials as accountability and responsibility at all. I do not label it as such. I label it as my caprice and consequently something that is crazy, abnormal, anxious, not valid. I invalidate myself without being aware of it and I use labels unconsciously to stay immobile and avoidant and to be ashamed for trying anything in life. I do not see any achievement and any action and any exposure - as accountability and responsibility. I ashamed it instead as irrelevant and shameful - on top of other people's unfair and unjust criticism.
If I labeled my trials and facing fears as accountability and responsibility - I would not put myself down and dismiss it as insignificant...

Fawning is an attempt of healthy mind to get healthy. To throw off cluster b mentality of being trapped in own mind and to serve other people and to connect with the others.

What I come to understand is - that social anxiety is not problem at all.
That is why we cannot feel comfortable - we are attacking wrong things as wrong. We are convinced that we have social anxiety problem - but it is not social anxiety issue at all.
We end up fixing and nitpicking and feeling shame about what we perceive as social anxiety - without realizing that problem is something else.
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Having rigid mindset (due to ACE and ACoA).

By working on our rigid beliefs and making them more flexible.
In real life - it means accepting ourselves as we are. Accepting our soft voice and not hiding it. Idea and urge to feel embarrassed about it is - is causing social anxiety symptoms of panic and shame. The soft voice is not problem. Our urge to hide it and feel shame about it - is the actual problem and disorder.
We believe that our fawning is disorder and soft voice - that this is our disorder and we focus on this exclusively. And then we are stuck in social anxiety believing now that social anxiety is the problem. And try to cure and fix it and hate it and hide it.

It appears as if social anxiety is related to narcissist and toxic people. They are only triggers - they are symptoms. Like social anxiety itself. Removing the symptoms won't remove the trauma, the cause, the core of problem - which is OCD disorder in personality. It is not OCD, it is personality disorder - which means it affects our thinking and decisions without us being aware of it, it makes decisions for us automatically and we are convinced that it is helpful good and productive and functional - but it is not in reality. We are not aware of it due to disorder itself - since disorder has the power to mask it and to set rules and to direct our focus.

Accountability is great test to detect toxic people.
And it is great clue in realization that we are not narcissists when we are open to admit mistakes. Toxic people will blame. That will trigger our trauma - we will shut up and self censor even when we know better, when we know truth, when we know errors and what will happen in the future. When we are silenced and abused into silence - toxic people will harm and hurt us for mistakes and errors - as if it is all our fault. But we never had chance to speak it out due to their abuse, hysteria, yelling, threats, mocking, put downs.
The truth must come out.
CBT tell us to expose - and exposure clears up the fears. When we expose - toxic people will abuse us. We must not interpret their abuse as the truth. We must see their abuse as not taking accountability issue.
CBT is forcing us to see abuse as reaction to our truth as our brain disorder. Which leads to toxic shame and silence and avoidance.
No one explains us the accountability status and its importance. We are highly accountable - but this is ashamed and abused and silenced by toxic people. The toxic people hate accountability - since this is at the core of their disorder and abnormality. This is where the snapshot of what appears as reality to them gets reality tested and it leads to them feeling narcissistic collapse which is painful to them, and which they learned to abuse others as reaction to the pain.
We must be clear and educated enough - to see abuse as their illness, their abnormality, them not taking accountability.
When a person does not take accountability - this will end in destruction and catastrophe because it is not based on reality. Then they will blame once again. Blaming is escape from accountability.

Toxic people force us to develop hyper responsibility. Responsibility OCD. We get groomed to feel responsible for anything that moves while in the same time not receive any rewards - which only go to the predator, the parasite.

What happens in social anxiety is that we take responsibility and accountability - for everything and toxic people add more of it and then abuse and trigger us into fear and shutting up and being quiet slave.
We have obsessive compulsive beliefs which we were trained to have since ACE and ACoA.
This means - when we experience criticism and mistakes - in reality it happens only because we do not have enough experience and knowledge, not by our fault. But in our mind and in toxic people's criticism - there is explanation that we are wrong, inept and abnormal, sick and worthless and we believe in it, even that we are lazy and choosing not to contribute. While we are super workaholics and we contribute 150%. More than enough - and we believe we are not contributing at all - due to toxic people and toxic inner critic voice.

Social anxiety is being stuck in a belief: it has to be that way. Due to abuse, trauma, mostly narcissistic abuse - someone who is mentally ill is forcing snapshot of reality, someone with lack of empathy.

Rigidity and stubbornness stems from the fear of punishment, contempt and abuse. It is not self choice that is self pleasing. It is to escape being harmed, hurt by abnormal sick people usually in power positions.

The motive for the obsessive-compulsive behavior stems from the need to be perfect - due to abusive people holding power and threats over. There is some kind of punishment for not being perfect and operant conditioning where there is learned behavior, learned beliefs, learned convictions which are scaffolding the perfectionism to be solidified.

When dealing with toxic people - there is insight that we should have philosophy how to handle toxic people. It means creating environment where the potential power hungry psychopath would not find narcissistic supply. It means ambient where money and influence is not primary. It would mean not working in corporations. It also means that we do not place ourselves in the place of narcissistic supply - and this means not worshiping others.

CPTSD Foundation
@cptsdfoundation
Dec 31, 2024
Our recovery as survivors is aided tremendously by forming healthy relationships with safe people in an environment where we can find the words where words were absent before.
It is one of the most profound experiences we can have as survivors.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
#Narcissist parents will withhold teaching their kids life skills or lessons because they don’t want to make life any easier on their kids, they want their kids dependent on them for help or answers.
Their objective is to always feel “better than” or “smarter than”, or to remain “dominant” over their kids. But they’ll act like they “did so much” “paid for food and clothing” while they taught their kids nothing. It’s a way to cover up intentionally malicious psychological neglect. Incredibly abusive, not to mention disgusting, deranged, illogical, and tragically emotionally immature
When you ask them questions or for help with something, you’ll notice they will tell you the bare minimum so they can look like they answered your question but you’ll notice that they really try to give you as little information or experience as possible. It’s as if their experience is money, and why would they give anything for free… like it actually offends them
I think it’s an important point to be aware of, they may offer assistance in ways that keep you dependent on them. In those situations it might actually seem like they’re giving you their time or money, but in my experience they don’t share helpful experience that allows you to do things for yourself.

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Dec 31, 2024
Going to New Zealand next week to give a talk. My thesis is that what we call “symptoms” of “mental disorders” are, in reality, inner prompts designed to help us begin a new life chapter. If that’s right, then psychiatry’s disease model actually moves us away from mental health.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Dec 31, 2024
Stop wasting time on people who only love you when the conditions are right for them.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Dec 31, 2024
Fact:
Cruelty stems from weak character.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Dec 30, 2024
You deserve to be surrounded by people who bring out your soft side – rather than those who trigger your survival side.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
A person who finds peace instead of revenge can never be bothered.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Unless you’ve been the victim of a narcissist/psychopath, it’s unlikely you have any idea what they’re capable of, nor could comprehend it.
Plus, no current ‘expert’ has a comprehensive understanding of ‘dark personality’ attributes & tactics due to extensive research anomalies.

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Dec 30, 2024
Narcissists create chaos yet demand peace in return.

Parmenides argued that, for something to exist or be born, it must come from a substance that existed before it, as something cannot come from nothing. All trees come from seeds, all children come from parents, et cetera. If you can speak of something, or think of it, it must have some truth, and be part of the larger, unified truth of the universe.
Kinnu

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
What we call “mental illness” is largely an attempt to grapple with the problems of life: pain, boredom, insignificance. They are prompts to push us to a better way of living. We don’t need drugs, but the space and support to heed their call.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 1
Why does being authentic bother so many people?

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Your soul knows... it will literally tell you when it's time to move on and start a new chapter of your life. Trust it.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
I am no longer available for things or people that make me feel like crap.

KSH
@ksaraholland
Worked in Paris. French did work hard. Vehemently told me why what I asked for was unreasonable, not their role, unrealistic etc. I sympathized and said I needed it anyway. Then they delivered early with astonishing creativity and blew my socks off every time. Just like drama.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 2
Unhealed trauma makes you hold onto people longer than you should and tolerate sh*t you don't deserve because you lack self-worth and don't want to feel alone. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve to be in your life — no matter how much you love them.

ban psychiatry burn the dsm
@antipsychgeist
Jan 1
The DSM says that a normal response to life’s challenges does not constitute an MI. So people rightly try and explain the sources of their “symptoms” to the psychiatrist. Then, in an act of betrayal, the psychiatrist calls you MI anyway, your experiences “contributing factors.”

The Process in BPD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4JiCV0Cnw
31:59 Society has created this world where you're just such an evil person that we desperately don't want to be associated with it.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
What we have to understand is this: Dishonesty doesn’t come second nature to the malignant #narcissist…
Dishonesty is the malignant narcissist’s FIRST and foremost nature.
It’s honesty that feels unnatural to them .

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
The silent treatment is used to manipulate someone and make them feel bad about themselves. No contact is just that. You are done with wanting any further contact.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Please don't spend your time trying to make sense to people who keep hurting you. Their behavior doesn't make sense. Their lack of remorse doesn't make sense. Their assumption that they can treat you poorly & still have a permanent place in your life, does not make sense.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
One of the most dangerous types of people to have around you is people who don’t like you but act like they do.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Victim mentality is a phrase often weaponized by toxic individuals in order to shame survivors for using their voices to create change.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Malignant #narcissist parents will abuse their scapegoat child into PTSD or depression or other signs of psychological abuse trauma,
Then they will use that trauma to make it look like the child had inherent mental problems. (Bipolar has been a popular choice among abusive parents)
This only compounds the effects of the abuse and traumatizes the victim further.
The people that do this to their children are literally monsters, but they will play the victim or the “hero parent“ who is doing “everything they can” to help their “troubled child“.
This abuse tactic needs to be shut down and the only way we can even begin is if it becomes common knowledge that people learn not to fall for.
We need to start holding these abusers accountable.

‪𐕣𖤐Mistress_Death𖤐𐕣‬ ‪@midnightpyredeath.bsky.social‬
"We all have our personal demons...But don't think that they are your enemy...They are always willing to help when no one else can." -me

Consider: maybe it's not social anxiety. Maybe you're just with wrong people. Maybe you don't like small talk? Not interested in shallow conversation? Your BS meter is super accurate. Instead of making yourself wrong just recognize you're not around right people
🔻Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7fouA9HaRhI

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
Have you noticed how much you learn from someone when you tell them NO?

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
cPTSD is a result of not having the freedom (or access) to acknowledge and process trauma. The complex part is because the trauma was ongoing. PTSD represents specific traumatic memories. Complex PTSD presents those memories and experiences having no end.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 5
Growth is realizing they didn't misunderstand you. They feel power by you feeling misunderstood.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
If you really want to see a person's true character, watch how they treat someone that they can't benefit off of.

#socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #socialanxietytips #sociallyawkward #shyness
Plans, predicting – when it goes off the rails you start to scramble and you don't know what to say because it wasn't in your original version. It also prevents you from making mistakes. You are allowed to make a mistake. Silence is golden. There is nothing wrong with moments of silence.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cvOk8RHJ6Uk

Allodoxaphobia
- the fear of other people's opinions. It is not just about being afraid of being judged but also the fear of being criticized, disliked or rejected. May find themselves constantly worrying about what others think even if their opinions are completely unfounded.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lGO9kJLz6Zc

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
Don’t stay in a bad situation for too long because you’ll forget it’s bad and get comfortable.

Alan Richard‬ ‪@alanrichard.bsky.social‬
·
1d
Everything I know at the top I learned at the bottom 🏆

The speed bumps and hiccups are in FAVOR of you 😎

The test is MEANT to be a testimony 😤

So thank God for them be grateful 🙏🏻

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Never judge someone by the opinions of others.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
People will always notice the change in your attitude towards them, but they will never notice it's their behavior that made you change.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
The problem with dark personalities is that they frame gossip or negative nuance about another person in a way that seems supportive.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
There are people you haven’t met yet that will love you without you having to earn it. They'll see you & appreciate you because of who you are. They'll be gentle because of what you've overcome. They'll be consistent because they know what vulnerability has cost you in the past.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 6
I love people who can put their pride aside, apologize, and actually correct their behaviour. That awareness, accountability, and emotional intelligence is so attractive.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities (narcissists, psychopaths) know they’re different from a young age. They know they must disguise their true nature to fit in. If you try & expose one, they will destroy your reputation & actively turn people against you with lies, manipulation, provocation….

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Dark personalities genuinely believe they are superior to others in particular because they do not emote, so they do not experience fear or shame. They view people who experience emotions as weak and inferior.
They are also extremely entitled. Often dark personalities try and hide their powerful sense of superiority and entitlement. The giveaway though is the very, very subtle smirk. There are other signs too.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Lying to someone who doesn’t believe you anyway is pointless.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
The whole issue with narcissism is very confusing.
Over time several terms have been developed to distinguish between 2 groups of people exhibiting similar behaviours with a different motivation…
Psychopath v sociopath (ASPD), malignant narcissist v vulnerable narcissist, type A psychopath v type B psychopath and so on.
The first group have brain anomalies. The second group exhibit these behaviours based on substantial abuse.
Research indicates the first group cannot be ‘cured’ nor do they want to change because they see themselves as superior.
The second group, unlike the first group, does experience shame, and will voluntarily see a therapist in some cases. With some hard work, the second group can change.
The reasons this is not widely understood includes research methodologies have been substandard, academics have been keen to make a name for themselves and so have often created new names where they’ve not been necessary, there are many fields of study examining these behaviours yet none of them really talk to each other so information can be consolidated, some academics are themselves dark personalities and are invested in creating confusion and so on.
To remove confusion, I call the first group Persistent Predatory Personality.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 6
Energy is very expensive, stop giving it out for free.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 6
Stop telling people in survival mode they need to just “let go.” They’ll let go when they have something they can hang onto. If the memories come on strong, they need to know they’ll never hurt like they did when their life changed without their permission.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
I’ve spent decades working with executives & have encountered a high number of dark personalities.
I’m stunned at the amount of time very senior dark personalities invest in destroying just one person who might try & expose them, either in their personal or professional life.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
In terms of understanding narcissists, it is not a matter of picking someone that you like. 🙂 What is important is that what the expert is saying is based on the voices of thousands of victims and practitioners who have actually worked with narcissists and their victims.
Interestingly, Dr Ramani has interviewed a very powerful narcissist masquerading as a domestic violence victim.
I have considerable data to back this and it will be contained in my second book. The world of narcissists and psychopaths and dark personalities is full of narcissists and psychopaths and dark personalities actively masquerading and misleading.
As a human race, we need to be absolutely crystal clear about the attributes and tactics of those harm by choice or we will continue to be deceived.
That is why I spent five years full-time reviewing all the academic literature from across the world in many different fields that study these people as well as conducting my own research with experts working with dark personalities (and their victims) in both forensic and non-forensic contexts for an average of 22 years each. I am passionately committed to reducing the harm these people impose.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Take Hare’s work with a grain of salt. His books have some interesting and very useful information however his model which informs the PCL – R, the most highly utilised assessment tool in the world for diagnosing psychopaths, does not contain the attribute of control, which my data indicates is their most powerful driver. It also does not contain the attribute of sadism, which my data indicates is another powerful driver of their behaviour. He argues impulsivity is a core attribute of them all which of course can’t possibly be true and many academics have challenged. Much of Hare’s data has been drawn from forensic populations and rather than adapt his model to more current research, Hare has litigated against and character assassinated people who have challenged his work.
I have participated in a program run by Hare in the Bahamas on how to administer to the PCL-R and have had a number of meetings and meals with him.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Highly sensitive people feel everything on a much deeper level. We aren't fooled by words or external appearances. We don't just experience your surface level emotions... we feel your energy shifts, intentions, judgments, lies, and truths.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
There are in fact two types of anger experienced by dark personalities.
One type of anger is pathological, hot and reactive. It occurs when they are thwarted from getting what they want, when their sense of superiority is challenged, or when someone is trying to expose them. The other type of anger is strategic, cold and just an act. It is used to intimidate and control others.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
The thing about complex trauma is it removes you from being the main character in your own life. When you suffer for a prolonged amount of time, survival mode shifts focus on everything external to get by, rather than living peacefully from the center of who you are.

Aim True (Amy Pagett)
@AimTrue7
Jan 6
If you are trying to help someone heal, shaming them won’t likely work.
They already carry enough shame & more will send them deeper into the cycle of recreating it.

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
One thing I’ve noticed is that the same groups of people shouting about bystander intervention, being an upstander, and calling out violence, misogyny, and oppression rarely say anything until the mainstream narrative flows in their favour, and THEN they comfortably stand up, add their voice or write their article or social media post.

If nothing else, this should demonstrate how hard it is to be the first person to stand up and say something when it’s not popular, when no one likes you for it; and when it puts you at some risk.

It looks easy enough, but it takes self-confidence, conviction and resolve - which clearly, many people do not feel they have.

We cannot continue in a society in which 99% of people just wait for someone else to say the thing we are all thinking.

Sometimes, you’re gonna have to be that person who goes first. And it’s not easy, and it’s not very fun. And you might get shot down, or laughed at, or ignored totally.

But we cannot spend our lives waiting for someone else to speak up.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 6
Remember to choose yourself first, then choose who chooses you.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Many abusive or narcissistic individuals engage in a kind of "preemptive rebranding" of their harmful traits. By owning their negative behaviors and presenting them with humor, pride, or as a form of righteousness, they disarm others who might otherwise question or challenge their actions. It can create a false narrative that their abusive behavior is intentional, controlled, or even justified—almost like saying, "I know I’m bad, and I’m owning it, so you can't call me out."
This strategy often relies on manipulating people's perceptions. By framing their abuse as a quirky personality trait or a badge of honor, they encourage others to dismiss it as harmless or even admirable.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Stop selling yourself short and walk into that room like God sent you.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Very true. A narcissist will also not enter a relationship with someone they cannot control or manipulate easily. There are ways that narcissists or dark personalities can identify people who are more vulnerable and more able to be controlled. According to research this includes walking gait, facial openness and other features. They then test early on in a relationship to gauge whether someone can be manipulated by setting up situations that require accommodation, by using intimidation etc.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Everyone always loves how real you are, until you say something they don’t like.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
Why is it that people with good hearts get screwed over the most!
Miss Jo
@this_is_me_Jo
Because people with good hearts generally look for the good in people, sometimes unfortunately at their own peril.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Jan 6
An abuser doesn’t have to forbid, order, or demand their partner do or not do something in order to be controlling. Often, they harass, criticize, insult, belittle, and lecture you so much that you go along with what they want just to avoid the psychological torment! 🚩
Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Jan 7
Don’t forget intimidate. Intimidation is one of the greatest behavioural modifiers and controllers.

‪Linda Beveridge‬ ‪@beachlady1955.bsky.social‬
You can't buy class. You're either an asshole or you have class.

Kate Rowswell 🇬🇧🇨🇦
@katerowswell
Jan 7
Abusers excel in behavioural modification of their victims

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Jun 26, 2024
My abusive husband never told me what I should wear, but I ended up avoiding the clothes he didn’t like anyway 😣This is how coercive control works…

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Love is meant to be a sanctuary of safety, respect, and support not a battlefield of control, fear and manipulation.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Surround yourself with love that makes you feel alive. Life is too short to spend being disrespected, unloved, and undervalued.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Never apologize for not being what they want you to be.

Julia Pappas • Psychologist 🇺🇸
@JuliaPappasJoy
Very true! That is the reason why highly sensitive people need really good boundaries, paired with discernment.

"The light of the Creator is infinite, and from it flows all creation, concealed within layers of veils."
-the Zohar

Lisa A. Romano
@lisaaromano1
Recognizing that a narcissist’s control is rooted in their fears, not your flaws, is the first step to breaking free.

‪Hank Green‬ ‪@hankgreen.bsky.social‬
It’s ok to feel sick over the state of things.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Authenticity has a way of unsettling all the pretenders.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Maturity is when you stop wasting time convincing people to treat you correctly. You just start to observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you’re going to allow in your life.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
When a #narcissist does something insensitive or abusive or disruptive and you call them on it, they will immediately go on the defensive, play a victim role, and make you look like the bad guy for being “mean” or “insensitive“, or “overly critical”, and they will draw other people into this to feel sorry for them.
They react this way because they cannot tolerate being held accountable.
This behavior, often called victim-playing or DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), allows them to deflect responsibility and manipulate others into seeing you as the aggressor. The goal is to shift focus away from their actions and make you question yourself or appear unreasonable to others.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Stay calm. Don’t defend yourself because that’s playing into their narrative, instead, keep the focus on their actions. Don’t defend your actions, focus on their actions. And remain calm. At this point they’re doing everything they can to make you look like the aggressor so don’t give them anything that they can use. And don’t let it escalate because they will likely try to make it escalate. If that fails, disengage.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
#Narcissists are like black holes in society—takers at their core, draining energy, resources, and emotions from everyone around them while giving back as little as possible. Their approach to life is transactional: "What can I get? How much can I take? And how little can I give in return?"
Recognizing this pattern is crucial—not just for protecting yourself but for understanding the long-term damage they inflict. They don't just take from individuals; they take from society as a whole, eroding trust, goodwill, and collaboration wherever they go.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
When you demand an explanation from someone who has experienced emotional abuse, you will not getting an explanation but an innocent person triggered beyond their capacity, trying to prove their worth.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Jan 8
Narcissists/psychopaths use intimidation to get what they want & to stop people holding them to account.
Intimidation may involve aggressive tone, implicit threat, encroaching into body space, standing over, holding eye contact too long, thumping table, designed to create fear.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Don't listen to toxic individuals. You are not crazy or anything else they try to label you with. Standing up for yourself is "not a crime." Boundaries are natural and healthy, don't let them convince you otherwise.

BrainSpace
@jbbz
Boundaries are a form of self-respect, not rebellion. Toxic people often label others to deflect from their own behavior—don’t buy into it. Standing up for yourself is a powerful act of self-care and courage.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Jan 9
As a society I don’t think we disapprove of dishonesty as much as we should.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
An abuser's criticism, anger, or control is not a reflection of you—it’s a reflection of their own insecurities and need for dominance.
Their behavior is about them, not you!
#CoerciveControl

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Jan 9
Someone told me to read ‘Positive Disintegration’ and it is blowing my mind. His view is that what we call “mental illness” happens when your life circumstances are no longer adequate to the demands of self development. An incredibly empowering framework. Thanks
@DeeDreaHamilton

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Normalize not forcing connections with people. If someone does not see the value in having you by their side, it's not your job to convince them.

Dr. Jessica Taylor
@DrJessTaylor
Actually, I’d go further than this. Many systems were designed to crush our spirit - they are not ‘broken’, they are working as designed. Remember that.

Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
@DrDoyleSays
Trauma survivors NEED to take our nervous system's insistence on not feeling trapped seriously.
If we don't leave ourselves an "escape hatch" in situations, our nervous system will create that "escape hatch" for us-- often w/ self-sabotage or suicidal ideation.

Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
@DrDoyleSays
Abuse & neglect dupe us into believing we don't have the right or ability to create a life we like, do work we find meaningful, or choose relationships that are safe & enhance our growth.
But we do.
It's just our "parts" & nervous system we need to convince.

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Jan 10
90% of dealing with what we call “mental illness” is developing a positive and empowering narrative that makes sense of what’s happening in your life. It’s not a science but a mode of storytelling. Psychiatry lies to us when it presents its “medical” story as the sole truth.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Toxic people believe their needs are more important than yours. 🚩

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Victims don’t ‘tolerate’, ‘allow’, or ‘put up with’ abuse – they endure it to survive.

Shadows of Control
@shadows_control
Abusers feel entitled to your attention and disregard your needs. Prioritize your well-being.

Narcissist that is a pillar of community, that is essentially moral and ethical and altruistic and charitable and helpful and compassionate and caring and so on. Or at least pretends to be. Because this is the way this kind of narcissist obtains narcissistic supply.
Can Narcissists Be Constructive, Positive, Productive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCPf7nMZ-0
Sam Vaknin

To understand people, to work with people, to accomplish things you need to be attuned to their emotions. You need to be empathic. And if you are not, your inability to decipher emotions, to read emotions creates impaired reality testing. Because people are part of reality. If you unable to gauge people your reality testing sucks.
And to compensate for that narcissist distort their cognitions. They have cognitive distortions.
So narcissist exactly like someone with autism keeps failing with people. And to compensate for this narcissist distorts his reality and his cognition to convince himself that he is actually good.
Can Narcissists Be Constructive, Positive, Productive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCPf7nMZ-0
Sam Vaknin

Narcissists are fools that can only learn only from their own experience and mistakes. And majority of them never learn at all.
Because they consider themselves omniscient or endowed somehow. Or above other people whom they hold in complete contempt. The opposite of stupidity is not intelligence. The opposite of stupidity is wisdom.
Narcissist can be intelligent and accomplish but never wise. Often extremely intelligent people are also inordinately dumb.
Can Narcissists Be Constructive, Positive, Productive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLCPf7nMZ-0
Sam Vaknin

Dr Robert Bohan‬ ‪@robertbohan.bsky.social‬
You may notice troll accounts jumping in to say offensive things about Zuckerberg. This is a common strategy of the far right, where they seek to antagonise us into response, which they can then use to say ‘all LGBTQ are violent/abusive etc’ - don’t get sucked into it. I’m blocking them.

Dr Robert Bohan‬ ‪@robertbohan.bsky.social‬
I think there may be a small one. I suggest reading about how ordinary people react to authoritarian regimes. They cross the street & keep their heads down. In the US just 4% of voters were most concerned about foreign affairs despite being in 2 wars. Apathy & self-interest are big drivers.

Defend Survivors
@defendsurvivors
Toxic message “I will forever be grateful for the lessons the abuser taught me. Without them I would never found myself” NOOO! The abuser gave you trauma you should’ve never had - not ‘lessons’. You’re amazing because you’re amazing not because of an abuser!

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
When you're a good person with genuine intentions and a gorgeous heart, you don't lose anyone – they lose you.

Aim True (Amy Pagett)
@AimTrue7
Many trauma survivors appear to have a high pain tolerance.
Usually it’s that we’ve learned to dissociate so well that the pain isn’t connecting to our felt sense.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 13
Survivors listen because they know exactly how it feels to be unheard.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Interesting fact: Psychopaths/narcissists LOVE to copy other people. This includes stealing others’ ideas, taking credit for others’ work, copying other people’s clothing, adopting other people’s accents, mimicking other people‘s mannerisms.
They do this for several reasons. They have a very limited emotional world and so they observe and copy others’ reactions to blend in or seem ‘normal’.
They have no moral code and winning is very important to them so theft of ideas comes naturally.
Their limited emotional world means they often do not have much creativity and must take ideas from others.
They sometimes copy to provoke or hurt others, so dressing like someone who is deceased, for example, or dressing for an important relationship occasion, such as an anniversary, in an outfit worn during a fight.
There are other motivations.

💜

Blog posts:

Do Movies Cause Social Anxiety? ✌ Strong reaction to someone rude ✌ The Agreeableness Theory ✌Managing Social Anxiety and Toxic Shame ✌ Complex Trauma induce Social Anxiety and Avoidance ✌Navigating through social anxiety ✌ Accepting social anxiety ✌ Social anxiety is Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) ✌ Quiet BPD is social anxiety ✌ Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse

Reddit posts:

ponedjeljak, 6. siječnja 2025.

Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse