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ponedjeljak, 6. siječnja 2025.

Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse

What behavior is unacceptable with social anxiety?
What is disorder part in social anxiety?

CPTSD Foundation
@cptsdfoundation
Dec 31, 2024
Our recovery as survivors is aided tremendously by forming healthy relationships with safe people in an environment where we can find the words where words were absent before.
It is one of the most profound experiences we can have as survivors.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
#Narcissist parents will withhold teaching their kids life skills or lessons because they don’t want to make life any easier on their kids, they want their kids dependent on them for help or answers.
Their objective is to always feel “better than” or “smarter than”, or to remain “dominant” over their kids. But they’ll act like they “did so much” “paid for food and clothing” while they taught their kids nothing. It’s a way to cover up intentionally malicious psychological neglect. Incredibly abusive, not to mention disgusting, deranged, illogical, and tragically emotionally immature
When you ask them questions or for help with something, you’ll notice they will tell you the bare minimum so they can look like they answered your question but you’ll notice that they really try to give you as little information or experience as possible. It’s as if their experience is money, and why would they give anything for free… like it actually offends them
I think it’s an important point to be aware of, they may offer assistance in ways that keep you dependent on them. In those situations it might actually seem like they’re giving you their time or money, but in my experience they don’t share helpful experience that allows you to do things for yourself.

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
Dec 31, 2024
Going to New Zealand next week to give a talk. My thesis is that what we call “symptoms” of “mental disorders” are, in reality, inner prompts designed to help us begin a new life chapter. If that’s right, then psychiatry’s disease model actually moves us away from mental health.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Dec 31, 2024
Stop wasting time on people who only love you when the conditions are right for them.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Dec 31, 2024
Fact:
Cruelty stems from weak character.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Dec 30, 2024
You deserve to be surrounded by people who bring out your soft side – rather than those who trigger your survival side.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
A person who finds peace instead of revenge can never be bothered.

Dr Karen Mitchell PhD
@karenmitchell__
Unless you’ve been the victim of a narcissist/psychopath, it’s unlikely you have any idea what they’re capable of, nor could comprehend it.
Plus, no current ‘expert’ has a comprehensive understanding of ‘dark personality’ attributes & tactics due to extensive research anomalies.

Tell me no Lies 💔❤️‍🩹➡️❤️🥰🌹💪🏻🚫Narcissists🚫
@lovewins11011
Dec 30, 2024
Narcissists create chaos yet demand peace in return.

Parmenides argued that, for something to exist or be born, it must come from a substance that existed before it, as something cannot come from nothing. All trees come from seeds, all children come from parents, et cetera. If you can speak of something, or think of it, it must have some truth, and be part of the larger, unified truth of the universe.
Kinnu

Justin Garson
@justin_garson
What we call “mental illness” is largely an attempt to grapple with the problems of life: pain, boredom, insignificance. They are prompts to push us to a better way of living. We don’t need drugs, but the space and support to heed their call.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Jan 1
Why does being authentic bother so many people?

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Your soul knows... it will literally tell you when it's time to move on and start a new chapter of your life. Trust it.

Josh
@JD_Quotes2017
I am no longer available for things or people that make me feel like crap.

KSH
@ksaraholland
Worked in Paris. French did work hard. Vehemently told me why what I asked for was unreasonable, not their role, unrealistic etc. I sympathized and said I needed it anyway. Then they delivered early with astonishing creativity and blew my socks off every time. Just like drama.

𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨
@_Pammy_DS_
Jan 2
Unhealed trauma makes you hold onto people longer than you should and tolerate sh*t you don't deserve because you lack self-worth and don't want to feel alone. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve to be in your life — no matter how much you love them.

ban psychiatry burn the dsm
@antipsychgeist
Jan 1
The DSM says that a normal response to life’s challenges does not constitute an MI. So people rightly try and explain the sources of their “symptoms” to the psychiatrist. Then, in an act of betrayal, the psychiatrist calls you MI anyway, your experiences “contributing factors.”

The Process in BPD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4JiCV0Cnw
31:59 Society has created this world where you're just such an evil person that we desperately don't want to be associated with it.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
What we have to understand is this: Dishonesty doesn’t come second nature to the malignant #narcissist…
Dishonesty is the malignant narcissist’s FIRST and foremost nature.
It’s honesty that feels unnatural to them .

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
The silent treatment is used to manipulate someone and make them feel bad about themselves. No contact is just that. You are done with wanting any further contact.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Please don't spend your time trying to make sense to people who keep hurting you. Their behavior doesn't make sense. Their lack of remorse doesn't make sense. Their assumption that they can treat you poorly & still have a permanent place in your life, does not make sense.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
One of the most dangerous types of people to have around you is people who don’t like you but act like they do.

Workplace Mental Health Safety & Prevention
@Stopworkplacebu
Victim mentality is a phrase often weaponized by toxic individuals in order to shame survivors for using their voices to create change.

Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩
@Ryan_Daigler
Malignant #narcissist parents will abuse their scapegoat child into PTSD or depression or other signs of psychological abuse trauma,
Then they will use that trauma to make it look like the child had inherent mental problems. (Bipolar has been a popular choice among abusive parents)
This only compounds the effects of the abuse and traumatizes the victim further.
The people that do this to their children are literally monsters, but they will play the victim or the “hero parent“ who is doing “everything they can” to help their “troubled child“.
This abuse tactic needs to be shut down and the only way we can even begin is if it becomes common knowledge that people learn not to fall for.
We need to start holding these abusers accountable.

‪𐕣𖤐Mistress_Death𖤐𐕣‬ ‪@midnightpyredeath.bsky.social‬
"We all have our personal demons...But don't think that they are your enemy...They are always willing to help when no one else can." -me

Consider: maybe it's not social anxiety. Maybe you're just with wrong people. Maybe you don't like small talk? Not interested in shallow conversation? Your BS meter is super accurate. Instead of making yourself wrong just recognize you're not around right people
🔻Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7fouA9HaRhI

Jacklena Bentley
@JacklenaB
Have you noticed how much you learn from someone when you tell them NO?

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
cPTSD is a result of not having the freedom (or access) to acknowledge and process trauma. The complex part is because the trauma was ongoing. PTSD represents specific traumatic memories. Complex PTSD presents those memories and experiences having no end.

Nate Postlethwait
@nate_postlethwt
Jan 5
Growth is realizing they didn't misunderstand you. They feel power by you feeling misunderstood.

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
If you really want to see a person's true character, watch how they treat someone that they can't benefit off of.

#socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #socialanxietytips #sociallyawkward #shyness
Plans, predicting – when it goes off the rails you start to scramble and you don't know what to say because it wasn't in your original version. It also prevents you from making mistakes. You are allowed to make a mistake. Silence is golden. There is nothing wrong with moments of silence.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cvOk8RHJ6Uk

Allodoxaphobia
- the fear of other people's opinions. It is not just about being afraid of being judged but also the fear of being criticized, disliked or rejected. May find themselves constantly worrying about what others think even if their opinions are completely unfounded.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lGO9kJLz6Zc

Unkonfined
@unkonfined
Jan 5
Don’t stay in a bad situation for too long because you’ll forget it’s bad and get comfortable.

Alan Richard‬ ‪@alanrichard.bsky.social‬
·
1d
Everything I know at the top I learned at the bottom 🏆

The speed bumps and hiccups are in FAVOR of you 😎

The test is MEANT to be a testimony 😤

So thank God for them be grateful 🙏🏻

💜

Blog posts:

Do Movies Cause Social Anxiety? ✌ Strong reaction to someone rude ✌ The Agreeableness Theory ✌Managing Social Anxiety and Toxic Shame ✌ Complex Trauma induce Social Anxiety and Avoidance ✌Navigating through social anxiety ✌ Accepting social anxiety ✌ Social anxiety is Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) ✌ Quiet BPD is social anxiety ✌ Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse

Reddit posts:

srijeda, 1. siječnja 2025.

Watch log 2025

1.1.2025 Avatar: The Way of Water / 2022 / **

1.1.2025 Paddington 2 / 2017 / *****

3.1.2025 A Christmas Arrangement /2018 / ***

3.1.2025 A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982) / *****

4.1.2025 Sing / 2016 / *****

5.1.2025 The Emoji Movie / 2017 / **

5.1.2025 Mixed Nuts / 1994 / *****

Dreams 2025

1.1.2025 - face recognition software but it does not show the face, only parts of the face scattered around the screen

2.1.2025 - i repair, I walk in front of apartment

3.1.2025 - characters from movie reflecting the real life, I change shirt, and i see myself in mirror, I look differently and I have black thin arm bracelets on my right hand

4.1.2025 - dark green

5.1.2025 - tasks, unknown people

6.1.2025 - preparing party

My YT comments on social anxiety 2025

1.1.2025

YT ""How I Overcame a Narcissistic Boss and Reclaimed My Power!""

Setting boundaries with toxic people means punishment.
In this case - reacting to psychopath would end up in being fired from the job or endless mobbing beforehand.
Narcissists come in package - their abuse.
usually they are in power positions where they can freely abuse other people without being punished for toxic activities like stealing someone's work.

If we live in poor country, if we have no alternative to find another source of income - our only way to survive is to fawn to abusers.
Fawning is not choice. IT is reflex and reaction to surviving.

The only boundary with narcissists is to break contact and leave and our goal in life should be that our finances do not depend on such toxic people - so we have to make long term carefully planned choices in life to make it so.

3.1.2025

Your method is to remove fear.
Removing any emotion is horrible idea. Any psychologist will tell you that.
Emotions are not there to be suppressed or denied or destroyed - that is path to mental illness. Did you ever hear of Freud or Jung and their insight about emotions?

When we feel fear - it is a sign that we feel danger.
Your method is that we see all fear as imaginary. But in real life - there are predatory toxic dangerous personalities who are criminally insane and have hidden agenda to harm the target. Without fear - we would never see red flags and protect ourselves.
We need fear as signal that we need to examine given situation that frightens us.
Not to destroy the messenger itself.

Just like CBT - you are oversimplifying very complex topic of fear.

He is making money on traumatized people. Just like any social anxiety "coach".
Sam Vaknin talked about this phenomena a lot.
We are such great target to exploit: we are kind, nice, silent, we do not protest - all due to social anxiety itself, fear of criticism
so anyone can come along, force us to believe their lies and quick analysis based on nothing - and we believe them. That is part of toxic shame which is social anxiety itself - that people like "coaches" do not understand - since they confuse their grammar school shyness with social anxiety - and then try to "cure" us with tools for their teen shyness and force us to believe in their misdiagnosis.

A lot of people misdiagnose their unknown and vague and unrelated sensations with quick labels and bias. Then they try to cure and fix those false diagnosis - by creating more damage to themselves.
It is a process of self-pathologizing oneself.

"I (sort of?) got over most of my social anxiety during high school, by realizing (and reminding myself), that other people probably only notice me as much as I notice them

So when I felt self conscious about something, I would think to myself “do I notice that about other people?” And usually the answer would be No. Meaning, they probably don’t see it (towards me) either!"

You actually got over shyness which you chose to label and self diagnose as "social anxiety".
Real, medical Social anxiety does NOT go away with realizations since it is part of bullying and mobbing and abuse - external factors such as poverty and not feeling safe around criminally insane psychopaths.

"But I do notice a lot of things about people"
Then we come to the conclusion that most people deny, deflect and dissociate from reality -
while people who are awake and see reality of criminally insane people around - are labeled as crazy ones.

Social anxiety is analogy of being trapped in toxic job filled with mobbing and being unable to quit due to no finances. So abuse is real.
What you describe on the other hand is shyness.
Shyness and social anxiety are not the same.

What CBT is doing is coercing traumatized and abused people to deny and dissociate from abuse and to get accustomed to abuse and criminally insane psychopaths.

Spotlight effect is insulting to people how are target of bullying and mobbing.

Desire to overcome social anxiety is an act of self abuse.
We blame ourselves for being targeted by predatory personalities and we believe that we will be stopped being abused if we self pathologize ourselves deep and long enough.

Learn about narcissistic abuse - and you will learn that spotlight effect is rationalization which predatory personalities make to keep on abusing others.

Exposure therapy will help only for shyness which most people mislabel as social anxiety.
For medical true social anxiety - exposure will solidify toxic shame.

"Can't take the bus during rush hour, it puts me in a fight or flight state, same with the supermarket when it's busy (it's open late, so that's when I go there).
This'll sound like deflection but I promise it's not... I think the world's changed in bad ways, the social dynamics having gone from polite to more impersonal than it's ever been.
I've been thinking about moving away from the capital of my country, I'd rather deal with having to worry about a reputation in a small town than not meaning anything to the people who live around me."

Start by allowing yourself to be impersonal.

YT "The Process in BPD.
"

I see exposure therapy as -
being afraid of fire - so we need to desensitize ourselves to fire. BUT in the same time our skin and clothes are coated and all soaked in petrol and oil - so getting close to fire will lit us up and burn us severely.
Before we face the fire - we need to clean this highly flammable coating on and off from ourselves, we need to clean ourselves before exposure - otherwise exposure will create more damage.
Analogy of petrol/oil is internalized toxic shame, learned self blame, programmed guilt and shame, feeling obligation to serve angry people, feeling responsible for angry people being dysregulated and feeling shame for them being angry and trying to fix their mood swings feeling we are guilty for their distress even when we did not cause it at all.

(4.1.2025)

Spotlight effect tells us that when people are aggressive and targeting us - that we are imagining it.
Why is this so hard to grasp?
Not only you -
myself included and all socially anxious people do not see toxic people, do not recognize red flags and then go along with CBT ideology that we are too sensitive and that other people are not toxic.

Our social anxiety - when we feel it - it is reaction to abusers and psychopaths. It is not our imagination, we are not being irrational as spotlight effect crap tries to convince us.
We are brainwashed by neurotypical society to deny our experiences and to self blame ourselves for feeling abused.

I repeat -
no social anxiety means being criminally insane and abnormal due to lack of sympathy and empathy. Inability to realize how our behavior is affecting other people.

Two quick notes:
" but it still makes a person inferior"
Toxic shame does this.
Internalized toxic shame due to complex trauma, ACE and ACoA is making us feel inferior. Not social anxiety itself.
Without social anxiety we would be like Diogenes in Ancient Greece - we would pee poop in public, sleep in a gutter like a dog and basically be a bum without hygienic habits not caring what other people think our smell.

We are struggling with toxic shame. Not social anxiety. CBT is forcing us to accept wrong explanations and then we try to cure and waste time and energy in wrong steps doing more damage in the process of trying to heal.

"We are often portrayed as the weird ones"
But by whom?
Normal, healthy, sane, friendly people do not shame others.
This is only done by psychopaths and abnormal sick people who have fake mask of sanity in public.
I repeat - normal healthy sane people would not judge someone who is nice, kind , quiet, afraid, panicked.
Only narcissists and sociopaths do this kind of shaming.

We are conditioned since ACoA ACE childhood to believe that angry judgmental people are our gods whom we must be afraid of and align with. This has to stop.

(5.1.2025)

YT ""Mentality Shift." Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
"

I took the BPD test at Resource Center - and the test showed that I have severe BPD.
I was expecting mild or low instead due to my social anxiety - and now I understand that social anxiety is actually avoidance of anger and expressing the bpd traits. I was masking it.
I was convinced that having no problems in relationship was making me non-bpd, but in reality I am isolated - so I have no arena to get symptoms come out of hiding and then I end up with wrong explanations about what is bugging me.

I relate to everything Kevin said in this episode in particular:
- You're not doing it just because it is a right thing to do – to be a good person. You're doing it – they'll se me as a good person.

- I am identifying as somebody who is worthless, I'm identifying as somebody who doesn't have value, I'm identifying as somebody who will be abandoned because who would approve of me,

- Changing your mentality how you identify, how you look at the world and what is your position in it, how you look at yourself that is 50 percent of getting better.

- you become obsessed with trying to fix everything. It's a control thing.

- That means understanding it is not so important that you beat your idea into their brain. And if you really want them – the reason is you feel invalid. And you don't feel good enough.

- I couldn't enjoy anything positive unless everybody else was ok. Vacation – partner said something negative about the flight and I should book another. I make everybody else's dissapointment in the world in their own world about themselves about their world about me. I take the accountability for it. It's really hard to feel good when you do that. Really hard to have enjoyment.

- not making other people's lives better so that they bless you with the ability to relax.

- My coworkers will criticize my work, boss tell me things I don't like, I know I'm not going to be appreciated, so I'm just not going to work. Or another one – I'm not getting into relationship, I'm going to be single forever because it's better that way.

(6.1.2025)

YT "Overcoming Social Anxiety Build Your Confidence! 💪"

Social anxiety is not issue of confidence.
Therefore building a confidence - won't help with social anxiety at all. What will happen is that social anxiety will simply transmute into narcissism and abuse.
CBT is forcing us to believe in lies that social anxiety is not trauma - and that social anxiety can be "cured" with developing narcissistic personality disorder.

YT "Social Anxiety Fears Me
That’s So True · Gracie Abrams"

When we try to fix social anxiety -we are abusing ourselves and developing full borderline disorder in the process of "curing" social anxiety.

YT "Overcoming #anxiety 2025🗒️Here’s how to start:💭 #socialanxiety #th"

When we convince ourselves that our anxiety is confusion - we will stay stuck in abuse, mobbing and narcissistic abuse which is causing social anxiety in the first place.
Sociopaths and psychopaths that are abusing us - wants us to believe that social anxiety is our irrational fear, that our worry thoughts as reaction to abuse are imaginary.

The problem is that CBT and self help industry and you tube videos are trying to convince us that we are crazy and that we are imagining the discomfort. Then we believe that we are inept and worthless and that we cannot trust our brain and our decisions - and then we end up truly socially anxious, after we have been abused by CBT medical industry that is suppose to help us with issues like this and explain us what is happening.

YT "Signs your social anxiety is affecting your daily life. #socialanxiety #mentalhealth"

All signs of exposure to narcissistic abuse and psychopaths/sociopaths.

YT "Sam sulek and social anxiety"

We need to stop self pathologizing ourselves for not feeling good around toxic people.

YT "Why Social Anxiety Is Holding You Back"

What happens when people attack us, fire us, take our shelter, money - when we expose ourselves, when we stand up for ourselves, when we talk, when we are expressing all our thoughts and feelings and reactions to toxic people in power who can destroy our life - either openly or covertly so we won't even know who stabbed us in the back?
What happens then?
Step two.

YT "Social anxiety can look like. #trending #shorts #shortvideo #youtubeshorts #youtube #foryou #fyp"

Complex Trauma.
It has nothing to do with confidence issues or shyness. It is trauma.
Mocking it - will make it worse.
Telling ourselves that we must be confident - will make it worse.
Trauma requires building our identity and healing borderline disorder masking itself as lack of confidence.

YT "Overcome Fear of SPEAKING in groups #communication #deepvoice #leadership #socialanxiety"

When we notice the pressure - if we decide that this stress is robbing us of something - will make the panic worse.
That is because we are identifying with the excitement and we immediately label it as bad and dangerous.
If we realize that our fears are stemming from abuse ACoA anc ACE - we won't take it personally - and we won't make drama about it, and then panic will vanish, once it is not make into our personality.

YT "This Technique DESTROYS Your Social Anxiety!"

Destroying social anxiety = self abuse, self hatred and self rejection.
When we make conversation about other people = fawning and people pleasing, being pushover.

Social anxiety is borderline disorder masking itself as social anxiety. The core problem is not having true core identity - due to ACoA and ACE in childhood.

YT "Give More NOs"

Giving more No to narcissists psychopaths and sociopaths that cause our people pleasing in the first place - will end up as abuse and violence, losing our job and shelter - and femicide.
The problem is not our no or inability to say no.
The core problem are toxic people in power position, oppression and lack of finances, socio-economic issues - which cannot be solved by nitpicking our brain and our behavior since oppression stems from the external factor.
Not from our identity.

YT "How to overcome social anxiety disorder"

You cannot talk to everybody.
We cannot talk to stubborn, difficult, narcissistic people.
we cannot talk to oppression and lack of money.
Idea that we must be accepted and validated and that we must influence other people is narcissistic personality disorder. It is borderline issue. It is mental illness to desire to control other people.

Problem is that many young socially anxious people will watch biased half done videos like yours - that never mention keywords like trauma - and then believe that their social anxiety is sickness and that their identity is abnormal.

YT "I thought the gym would cure my anxiety… #gym #socialanxiety #anxiety #mentalhealth #shorts #fyp"

Social anxiety is borderline disorder masking itself as social anxiety shyness lack of confidence.
The problem is trauma - not social anxiety symptoms.

YT "3 Ways To Relieve Social Anxiety Using Neuroscience 😀🧠 #shorts"

1. Change inner dialogue will lead to more of worrying. Also known as Pink Elephant effect or Ironic processing theory
1a. What happens when it is really true and people judge us and they abuse us and we cannot run away due to lack of money? What we do then with our inner dialogue?
When we are being abused and reality is narcissistic abuse which we cannot cut off. At least not in legal way.
2. Breathing is good advice for yoga. Not for when we are being abused and when we are poor and living in oppression.
If we are being abused by someone - if we blame ourselves and try to correct ourselves - we will never do anything about the abuse itself.
3. When we deny and suppress reality like imagining fantasy instead of reality - that is mental illness.

Social anxiety is trauma issue. It is not issue of confidence.

YT "Overcome Fear and Reclaim Your Life: Social Anxiety Explained
"

Idea that we overcome social anxiety is an act of self abuse, self rejection and self hatred.

If we label Social anxiety with psychiatry label such as "debilitating" - we will create depressive rigid persona based on this invented toxic CBT/DSM label of toxic shame and self abuse.
Then we will feel social anxiety shame about feeling panic when we are being abused and traumatized by sick abnormal predatory personalities who trigger social anxiety symptoms in the first place.
Predatory personalities are debilitating - their abuse is debilitating. Not our legal normal reactions to their abuse.

Anxiety disorders all stem from ACoA and ACE - invalidation and emotional neglect in childhood - which you never mention in this video at all even though it is central to social anxiety issues.

Avoidance behavior are trauma reactions - they are not personality identity as you portray it in this CBT video and force us to hate our tools to protect our mental and physical health through avoidance and avoiding toxic sick people around us.

CBT is toxic ableist therapy based on self abuse, self pathologizing and self hatred, self rejection - the very same trauma that caused social anxiety in alcoholic home in the first place. CBT ought to be banned - it is making traumatized people feel toxic shame for having reactions to abuse.

YT "Ask Yourself This Powerful Question TO Overcome Social Anxiety"

This other-focus stems from borderline disorder:
not having self identity.
Then abused traumatized people grown up in ACE and ACoA do not have identity persona.
Nitpicking our thoughts will make it worse.
Instead - we need education about identity and trauma.

YT "#socialanxiety #anxietyawareness #anxiety #anxietydisorder #anxietyrelief #anxietyhypnotherapy"

Oppression, poverty, abuse is outside of our control. Idea that we can fix external elements with our thoughts is sign of mental illness: narcissism and schizofrenia.

YT "Social Anxiety Is NOT A Confidence Issue"

"Confidence has nothing to do with social anxiety. Working on your confidence won't help. It's what she is thinking about herself is what makes her nervous."

Correct
but I would add the external factor:
toxic people who have hidden agenda to cause us harm
and pathological liars who present false facts which we cannot verify - so we buy into their lies.
The very same thing we do in our head when there is internalized toxic shame that tells us we are inept and worthless - there are also toxic people out there who wear fake social mask, they present themselves as help and service - but in reality predatory personalities suck energy and money from their victims spreading lies and false reality - that we unsuspectingly soak in and then we feel panic - thinking we are faulty and abnormal ones.

YT "#socialanxiety #anxietyawareness #anxietydisorder #anxietyrelief "

Exposure CBT crap is analogy of being afraid of fire -
so CBT tells us to expose in order to desensitize ourselves to fire.
But what CBT does not warn us - is that we are soaked in oil and petrol - which will burn us severely when we expose ourselves.
Oil Petrol = internalized toxic shame, poverty and oppression, living in narcissistic abuse and mobbing which we cannot quit.

Also
if we desensitize ourselves to abuse - we will never leave abusers, we will enable the abuse and we will rationalize criminally insane predatory personalities.
So CBT exposure BS - is forcing us to become slaves and codependent pushovers stuck in abuse and trauma bonding.

YT "This was actually quite scary, but bird whisperer added to the list of talents 💅🏻#birdwhisperer
Not one person said it back #socialanxiety #awkwardsilence"

Yelling and hysterical screaming in public is abuse and harassment.
No matter of your good intentions.
Good intentions are pathway to hell.

YT "Fix yourself to be confident is a lie..."

Yes. Social anxiety is complex trauma. Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse, self hatred and self rejection - and we will never be truly confident when we hate reject and abuse ourselves

YT "Could Surfing Solve Gen Z Social Anxiety?
"

Idea that we obfuscate trauma which is social anxiety by doing something outside of healing trauma - is narcissism and borderline disorder.

YT "Beat Exam & Social Anxiety: 2 Easy Steps!"

Social anxiety is not some teen shyness issue of jerking around phone or small talk or presentation.
Social anxiety is being trapped in toxic job mobbing and not being able to quit this hell hole due to lack of money and support and shelter - it is oppression and abuse issue and socio economic issue.

YT "How to improve social skills #shorts"

Not everyone out there is friendly or worthy of our kindness.
Please realize that Fawning is trauma response and it is disorder to cure - not made famous.

For borderline person like him, the validation and approval of others is like oxygen or water. In ACE ACoA toxic childhood he was punished into self hatred, self rejection and self abuse - so he sees other people as gods to worship and codependent on without seeing the borderline trauma inside himself.

We have to feel secure and safe in the world.
And this means - we need to accept that toxic people exist.
Another step is developing our identity - because trauma is smoking gun that our identity is not fully developed - that is where the pain stems from. It is like not having a house and we are exposed to environmental influences like cold heat rain - and it hurts us. We need our ground, base, full self belief - we never learned that due to ACE and ACoA - where we learned the opposite : to blame and hate ourselves and to fix angry abusive people and their hysteria.

(7.1.2025)

" i nvr got abused."
Then there are two options:
1) you do not have actual social anxiety. You have some disorder in the brain and hormones.
2) you were abused but the trauma was so deep and shocking that you forgot all about it and you suppressed it
AND OR
you lived in ACoA ACE toxic ambient since childhood that you cannot make objective assessment to determine what is abuse - since abuse feels natural to you.

Social anxiety must come from abuse and trauma - because if it was brain disorder - our fears and panic would be triggered by non-social elements - like food, eating food, watching TV, looking at some color, breathing, drinking water, any neutral activity.
YET we know that social anxiety stems from fear of criticism, scrutiny, punishment, contempt - real or potential. So there is element of abuse there and fear of abuse.

"it is shyness nn not enough confidence i nvr got abused soo"
Shyness goes away with a mere exposure.
So if it is shyness - all you need to do is face your fears and go to parties and talk to random people and shyness will go away since you do not have associated trauma with other people being evil and abusive.

Abuse does not mean physical harm.
Abuse also contains neglect and emotional invalidation, exposure to constant nitpicking, constant criticism 24/7 about smallest things and shaming and blaming. Read about red flags in narcissistic abuse.

Complex Trauma - exposure to neglect and emotional invalidation over long period of time.
In such toxic ambient - we will be in constant defense mode - we will lose our identity, worry what meaningless people think about us - and this is now borderline disorder.
In USA when someone being abused seeks helps - it means loss of medical rights.
So toxic society is pushing us to stay stuck in self blame and pain.

Hating social anxiety is an act of self abuse. In itself. It is act of self pathologizing. Self trauma. Hating our emotions, hating our natural reactions to discomfort - is abuse itself.

" It's true that RSD, social anxiety, and even BPD can share some overlapping features, making it tricky to differentiate. While some researchers believe RSD might be a subtype of social anxiety, others see it as a distinct experience, often linked to ADHD. More research is definitely needed, especially regarding BPD.

It's important to remember that everyone's experience is unique, and seeking professional support is crucial for accurate diagnosis and personalised help."

Diagnosis is both blessing and a curse.
When we are diagnosing our symptoms - we will eventually start to cure them and this means hide them or make them functional.
But then this leads to misdiagnosis in later years - then trauma is still there - and we can't tap into true core problem, since our symptoms are being pathologized by psychiatry. Then we end up with half solutions or wrong solutions that do not apply to our case - all because we are being instructed by diagnosis to hide our true reactions.
We end up blaming and hating ourselves - and we do not look up and see that our problems in life stem from abuse, exposure to narcissistic abuse or living in shame-based culture country.
This way - psychiatry is forcing us to develop identity based on diagnosis manual - which we try to conform to - instead of being natural and authentic and then work on true problems and not on a mask which psychiatry will force us to wear.

"There is a tendency to overreact but it’s not that easy and we should generalize. Assess the situation."

What happens when the situation is the situation of oppression and abuse and lack of money and no escape?
And we cannot escape the abuse due to lack of money?
and we are being abused every single second - like being trapped on mobbing toxic job, living in a toxic country shame-based country - and we have nowhere to run.

What then?

💦