77: Mastodon 2024 July

July 1, 2024

What if it's not necessarily social anxiety in the traditional sense? What if it's that you're not any good at small talk because you don't know how to be fake.
🟥 What If It's NOT Social Anxiety?
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mvKBU5eXaiQ

Jul 1, 2024

I'm all about going internal. It's all about bringing out what your personal connection is to the situation that you are in. Work meeting – and you're scared to stand up because of that phobia. Well my suggestion is what are you connected to in the work meeting, why are you there in the first place. Start to ask yourself powerful questions around why am I here, how am I associated with this situation, what am I going to contribute?
🟥 Reframe Your Social Anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDq5XuGYUwk

Jul 1

Are they going to think I'm weird. Or are they analyzing my entire body, what I'm wearing. Or are they going to think I'm not good enough. I do know that a lot of people lack depth and self-love. You can only perceive somebody as deeply as you've perceived yourself. So when I'm surrounded with people that don't even love themselves, they're going to look at me with hatred and that's the energy they put out towards me.
🟥 TheAlternativePopPrincess
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/auEj8Vs1_H0

Jul 2

📺 Top Shows 2023-2024 in USA

Jul 2

🔵Les Tuniques Bleues 59- Les quatre evangelistes

Jul 3

⭐ Raffaella Carra

Jul 3

🇮🇹 Grado

Jul 3

🇧🇪 Les Tuniques Bleues albums

Jul 3

🗞️ Fievre Printaniere

Jul 3

🎨 Start Sketching & Drawing - Facial Anatomy

Jul 3

🗿 Camus wrote, “We must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
life just doesn’t have any inherent meaning. We’re all just rolling boulders up our particular hills. We can, however, choose to give meaning to what we do. After all, for the existentialists, we decide what to value, so when we throw ourselves into
a task, it becomes filled with meaning – a meaning we give it.
Philosophy Now 06.07 2024

Jul 3

📰 How philosophy can teach us to be less anxious about being anxious by understanding that it’s an essential part of being human
Philosophy Now 06.07 2024

Jul 3

📜 Gods of Egypt

Jul 3

“Do not insult crocodile while your feet are still in the water” African proverb. You don't want to irritate someone dangerous while you are close enough to be harmed. Don't call them out when you are in proximity to get hurt. You may call them out when it isn't right and none of it works. You may try popular technique that therapist swear by: you will share your feelings and use “I” statements. I feel angry, sad, hurt. With narc you won't get empathy.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ASNX0jXorU

Jul 3

A mistake I see people repeatedly make is to attempt to engage the narcissistic person. I see people hiring reconciliation experts. Once in a blue moon this works, to get lighter penalty narc capitulate. Typically not because they had a meaningful shift. I know this sounds defeatist, hopeless. These styles are rigid, dysregulated, un-insightful, punitive, and dismissive of any human being or feelings. Ideally just get away, narc isn't listening anyhow.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ASNX0jXorU

Jul 3

Dr Allen Francis expert in personality disorders, he wrote diagnostic criteria for NPD he's pointed out the dangers in this diagnosis. Once we diagnose someone we run the risk of putting their behavior under umbrella of “illness”, which in many cases then ends up as excuse. Saying someone has disorder is like “Hey I have an illness, I can't help that I don't have empathy” then in essence becomes you can medicalize their meanness and use it as excuse.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDZ_UurFUqE

Jul 3

Be judicious with this word narcissism. It's overused so it's losing its meaning. Don't get caught up in trying to find all the narcissistic people in your midst. Or trying to figure if someone is indeed narcissistic 10 minutes after meeting them. But instead focus on if their behavior feels uncomfortable, and invalidating. And if it does – that should be enough of the reason to step back, step away, slow down or get out. Don't doubt yourself.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDZ_UurFUqE

Jul 3

Concept of mask and persona. Remember: When the narcissist is pro-social, when he is communal, when he is kind, and emphatic and compassionate and understanding, rescuing, saving, fixing, that's a mask. When the narcissist is aggressive and abusive and anti-social, that's a mask. When narcissist is neither – that is mask. You never see the narcissist. You never get a glimpse of narcissist. The mask has replaced a narcissist, took over. False self.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

You know my view – there's no such thing as self, individual, or personality. We are all the outcomes of the intersections with other people. We are relational creatures. This is Object relations from 1960s. We need to start with society and then hone in to person-hood. Persona in Jung is the public face that the individual presents to the outside world. Jung makes distinction between who you really are and facade, presentation to the world.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

Chasm, break of our core and what we signal. In the case of narcissism, the mask is the narcissist. There is no divorce between the mask and essential narcissist. There is no core. No identity. There is no essence. There is nobody there. It's a black hole. Nothingness in a bad sense. It's a void covered by/with a mask. In narcissism inside was demolished and eradicated in early childhood, all that is left is presentation.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

Reminiscent of Wizard of Oz. Erving Goffman – what do we really know about other people? What do people tell us about themselves. What do they broadcast? And how manipulative is this? When we come face to face with another person, are we really interacting with someone there or are we stupidly interacting with the mask? When people take off their masks, what then? Or do they always wear mask? At work, mask with boss. At home mask of father?
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

Terrifying questions. Because we have this underlying assumptions that self-reporting is reliable. Totality of sociology and psychology rely heavily and crucially on self-reporting. The vast majority of psychology tests rely on self-reporting. Even tests for psychopathy and narcissism ironically and idiotically rely on self-reporting. But if self-reporting is done by mask, then we are in trouble. We are fed with wrong information. Mask and person beneath.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

The mask is shaped, formed, designed to feel comfortable. Ego-syntonic. So when you come up with mask, to show your boss or wife or to show in church, you would design a mask in a way that would not create much dissonance. Even is mask is stripped in cataclysmic event, stress, the difference between you and mask is very small. If you are healthy, if you are normal. If you are narcissist there is no difference, you are the mask, only the mask.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

Healthy, normal people assume roles that already exists, preexisting roles. They fit in, mold, flow into the roles. They become father, employee, soldier, but all these roles have been defined 1000 years ago. Not so the narcissist. Narcissist creates his role his mask from scratch. Because of no authenticity. He doesn't know who he is, he doesn't know which pre-existing roles would fit. Highly fragile, vulnerable, highly sensitive to criticism, resembles someone with AvPD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

Narcissist says, I may look ridiculous, I may end up being criticized, by myself at least, harsh inner critic. I may fail. I shouldn't take this chance. Because my “personality” so to speak is so precariously balanced – I could fall apart, narcissistic injury, collapse, mortification. To avoid these outcomes narc designs his own roles, custom made. Roles narcissists assume are idiosyncratic. They can't fit other people. Renders narc empty social, can't fit in
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

Outcome of anxiety, panic. If you don't control impression, other people may do bad things to you. If you present yourself as evil, dangerous or selfish – people retaliate, people punish you. So impression management is crucial survival strategy, to escape disapproval. Behave in a way that is consistent with the target. Everyone manipulates everyone. All our behaviors are manipulative, we secure outcomes by modify outcomes of impressions of other people.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0t4ixPRDj4

Jul 3

If you talk to a narcissist with great communication skills, openess and kind honesty, this is an instant setup for catastrophe.

Jul 3

The mistake that so much of the guidance on communication makes is that it doesn't couch it in a fundamental truth – communication only works with two healthy self-aware well-regulated non-antagonistic people. Otherwise it's worthless – like having just one shoe when you need two. Communication is magnificent tool for building closeness, intimacy, connection, and safety when the other person is communicable: self aware, emphatic, present.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_LpFnYVAF4

Jul 3

🇮🇪 The beautiful golden sands at the historic port town of Youghal

Jul 3

🎹 Genesis, When In Rome

Jul 3

🏀 Basket-ball - Match de préparation au Tournoi masculin des Jeux

Jul 4

🎹 Imagine Dragons au château de Chambord

Jul 4

⚽ Captain Tsubasa

Jul 4

Gabor Maté says attachment will always override authenticity in our subconscious. That we will always choose our sense of belonging – even if it's skewed sense of belonging and we will mute our sense of authentic expression. This is one of the reasons why as grown adult the phrases “don't cry”, “stop crying”, “don't be sad” I'm sensitive to those. Because I know that people that told me those things did not mean well. "I don't like you"
🟥 Lessons Learned from Gabor Maté

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGfj9EZNd2Y

Jul 4

Concept of people who over-function and people who under-function. I learned that my over-functioning is one of the ways that I cope with being disconnected. Because it makes me feel busy, it makes me feel productive, like I'm doing something. It's a way we're trying to regulate ourselves. But we're oversourcing by over-functioning. Coping mechanisms are not inherently bad, it's just are they useful at the time, healthy? To stay protected
🟥 Lessons Learned from Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGfj9EZNd2Y

Jul 4

Disconnection from yourself is the ultimate trauma. Authenticity versus attachment. Authenticity gets sacrificed when attachment is threatened. “I won't be loved so I'll suppress my true self”.
🟥 Lessons Learned from Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGfj9EZNd2Y

Jul 4

🏈 ranFOOTBALL

Jul 4

🇺🇲 Mauna Kea, Hawaii

Jul 4

🇦🇹 Karawanken

Jul 4

🥋 Fight Hard, Fight Fair – MMA-Kämpfer in Deutschland

Jul 4

🇳🇿 New Zealand

Jul 4

🇫🇷 Mont-Saint-Michel

Jul 4

🗞️ What if...

Jul 4

🎭 L'Italiana in Algeri

Jul 5

But what about your own behavior? Your own repetitive behavior that you've been taught in dysfunction to react to these people.
🟥 theforensicbadass
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/s4aG_8lhpeU

Jul 5

Vulnerability is in fact the most beautiful part of yourself. It's what makes you human, poetic. But when you come from a narcissistic family system, you're taught that your vulnerability made you weak. That your emotions made you target of abuse. “Your vulnerability puts you at risk”. That cycle of shame through life that comes from your family of origin that you may carry quietly as adult and relationships is critical issue and focus.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5up926IgWQo

Jul 5

I'm amazed how many people who have endured harassment in workplace actually feel ashamed. They weren't perpetrator, this was something that was done to them. But it highlights again that dynamic of being in those relationships and how they often trigger and activate that shame dynamic. Cut to the core of that shame. Shame is imprisoning them. It comes from legacy issues of narcissistic family – came from damaged place.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5up926IgWQo

Jul 5

You may have come from dysfunctional family, that doesn't make you damaged. That is simply a part of your story. But if you carry that identity that you are somehow shameful and damaged – the choices you make in your life are going to be in line with that identity. Your narcissistic family has already harmed you enough. Don't let them keep harming you by holding on to identity they put on you of you being less than. They didn't have psychology in order.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5up926IgWQo

Jul 5

You can't win if you set boundaries because you're going to feel guilty for setting that limit though it's only healthy thing to do. You can't win if you stay silent –you feel guilty for creating tension in the relationship. You can't win if you think a bad thought about them –you feel guilty for being a rotten person. Everywhere you turn it's guilt, guilt, guilt. That's how trauma bonding relationships work. You become your own worse judge, jury and enemy.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5up926IgWQo

Jul 5

You simply feel guilty for being a human being. In therapy we can take that in and dismantle it. Half of work in therapy is to say – You didn't do anything wrong. Guilt is a monster that not only get people into narcissistic relationships, it keeps them in, and it makes it hard to get out or set boundaries. That experience of guilt is classical part of narcissistic abuse.
🟥 DoctorRamani

Jul 5

In the absence of feeling any power in a situation people also feel a lack of control which is magnified by being in a narcissistic relationship. And when we don't feel a sense of control, we become very, very anxious. Narcissists do want all the power, it destabilizes them too much if they share it, don't have empathy enough to share power. Narcissists exert power in many ways: intimidation, coercive control, manipulation, money, insults, isolation...
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5up926IgWQo

Jul 5

🚋 San Francisco

Jul 5

🚋 San Francisco

Jul 5

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-04, 16-32-00, L'Equipe

Jul 5

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-04, 16-32-00, L'Equipe

Jul 5

And when she first come to me, she was fat and mean and grumpy as a hog at hog-calling time.
But look at her now. ... Well, she's a fine figure of a lady. But what's most important, Your Honor, is that... Well, she's changed inside, too. I mean, she don't hold a grudge no more. And she's got a kind, loving spirit. ..Why, she come to life on the river, sir, and she got her soul back! I mean, it was all shriveled up in that big, elegant house.
🎞️ Tammy Tell Me True (1961)

Jul 5

🇮🇪 Secluded cove near Bunmahon on County Waterford's Copper Coast

Jul 6

🇧🇪 Tintin

Jul 7

I knew someone who told me every time I go to a restaurant I get the worst service. It never fails, that he said. And he was right, every time I was with him he got the worst service. One day I finally said to him, It's always going to happen to you as long as you think like that, and talk like that. I know it's simple thing but it's example how we allow things to effect us in a negative way. One decision–to choose life
✝️ Silencing The Victim Mentality | Lisa Osteen Comes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iCKQCUpPm4

Jul 7

“Why me” areas. Trying to figure things out. If we are not careful, we will try to reason everything out. And I found out – we can't do it. Our finite mind we cannot figure it all out. We don't have to have answers to all those questions. The main thing is to just say Lord help me. Another characteristic is that victim relies on people for contentment. Victim lives from fear. Victor lives from the place of faith. Step into faith level.
✝️ Silencing The Victim Mentality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iCKQCUpPm4

Jul 7

Don Ameche playing old in Heaven Can Wait (1943) versus being old in Trading Places (1983)

Jul 7

⚽ Téléfoot. 'Téléfoot 27'..., 2024-07-07, 11-00-19, TF1

Jul 7

🏊‍♂️ Cliff diving, Polignano a mare

Jul 7

🏊‍♂️ Cliff diving, Polignano a mare

Jul 7

Jul 8

🐬 Grands reportages. 'Odyssée..., 2024-07-07, 15-03-07, TF1

Jul 8

🏈 ranFOOTBALL

Jul 8

Because of intermittent reinforcement. We hope (against the evidence) to get the good (which sometimes comes) more consistently.

Jul 8

🎶 Baby Rose - One Last Dance (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUlGAcEPYh8

Jul 8

Jul 9

🟦 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (28 August 1749 – 22 March 1832)

Jul 9

I have an inner voice which is myself trying to explain/justify myself to an imaginary listener who might finally understand

Jul 9

Human connection does not require you to be perfect. And in fact, the most deep and resilient form of human connection actually comes from sharing our vulnerabilities and our struggles with people but this is not something that comes naturally to you if you have toxic shame or CPTSD.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPRK2sEpC6M

Jul 9

Grandiosity is a cognitive distortion. We all have cognitive biases. Some of us even have cognitive distortions. And yet we are still being considered to be normal and healthy. So what's the difference when it comes to the narcissist? The narcissist's grandiosity is cognitive distortion, narcissist is emotionally invested in distorting reality so it affirms, confirms and supports his inflated fantastic view of himself. To fend off shame. No grandiosity: BPD
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaE236KEGnU

Jul 9

Our brain keeps generating internal voices. And these internal voices keep telling us this is what's going to happen, you should get prepared, you've done wrong, you've done right, this is the way to do it etc. These voices keep talking to us. They are introjects. If the voices, content of internal speech matches reality, the brain discounts the reality. The brain listens to internal voices and prefers them to reality.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaE236KEGnU

Jul 9

While normal healthy people prefer internal speech to external reality if the two match. The narcissist prefers the internal speech to external reality if they do not match. The narcissist is a mirror image of a normal healthy human being. The narcissist's brain will ignore the reality because it is uncomfortable, challenging, countervailing, undermining, contradictory, dissonant. Then narcissist withdraws inside- selective auditory attention.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaE236KEGnU

Jul 9

Selective auditory attention – external voices get stuck in a very narrow neck of imaginary bottle so they don't get through narcissist. Narc shuts you up, consequently unable to understand what you are saying. This leads to dissociation, amnesia, memory gaps. “You said something else” even if you produce recording what you said – your auditory input never reached his brain because he was engaged in selective hearing. Filtering your speech and enhancing.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaE236KEGnU

Jul 9

Selective hearing is a normal process. Everyone has selective hearing. For example talk to someone at cocktail party, focused on that person. Selective hearing becomes pathologized, malignant, and dysfunctional and maladaptive in sensory processing disorders. Narcissist has selective retention – remember accurately messages that reflected his interests, values, beliefs, grandiose image, working theories about other people's minds.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaE236KEGnU

Jul 9

Narcissist's problem is that his frames are idiosyncratic. These frames are non-communicable because they are too individual. There's not enough sharing of meaning. Narcissist's internal speech is so unique to him that it's largely non-communicable. Narcissist face huge communication barriers and tries to compensate for that by pretending to be someone who he's not. So that people can interact with that. Not with him directly. Ever. That is - False self.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaE236KEGnU

Jul 9

🗑️ Basket-ball 🇫🇷 - 🇩🇪

Jul 9

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-09, 16-26-38, L'Equipe

Jul 9

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-09, 17-31-50, L'Equipe

Jul 10

🇸🇪 Midnight sun at Jokkmokk, Sweden

Jul 10

The next time you feel left out, your friends all go out to brunch together, and they don't invite you. Let them. Or person you're dating doesn't want commitment. Let them. Your company laying people off. Let them. You spend so much time and energy trying to control other people and getting emotionally worked up about things that are beyond your control. You can tap into peace and true control if you let them be themselves.
🟥 Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QxGmRqJ6EZk

Jul 10

Here's the other thing: if you let them – people will then reveal who they truly are. And when they reveal who they truly are to you, you now know what you can choose next what's right for you. So let them.
🟥 Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QxGmRqJ6EZk

Jul 10

⚽ Captain Tsubasa

Jul 10

🇫🇷 La Réunion

Jul 10

🍶 SodaStream Art is a new Sparkling Water Maker that features a retro-looking design and Quick Connect technology for fast and easy CO2 cylinder insertion.

Jul 10

What has sustained me and helped me through these really terrible times that I've had in my life is the love that I look in both your eyes and in your faces. Interest, attention. I hope you feel it from me, because it's a reciprocal feeling. Give each other joy and you get it back. To me, that's the purpose of living and the life's experiences. Movies, big deal. I'm not that interested in making movies anymore. As let people enjoy being around me.
🟥 Tony Curtis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15HqD2a5MxY

Jul 11

🏡 Maison Créative

Jul 11

Very hot weather
Now

Jul 11

🏉 Rugby 🇺🇾 - 🇫🇷

Jul 11

🏉 Rugby 🇺🇾 - 🇫🇷

Jul 11

🏉 Rugby 🇺🇾 - 🇫🇷

Jul 11

🇩🇪 Der SAT.1 Discounter-Check! Aldi, Lidl, Penny & Co

Jul 12

🎨 Brunson sketch

Jul 12

Detachment does not mean you have no emotions. A complete absence of emotions in my opinion is not something we should be striving for. Unfortunately many men do succeed in functionally divorcing yourself from their emotional experience. At great cost to themselves. It generally requires some degree of self-violence in order to amputate a component of your lived experience. Can't do this completely so they arrive at place of anger. That's no way to live life.
🟥 PsycHacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMDiAMd_bU

Jul 12

Emotional detachment does not mean that you dissociate from your emotional experience or that you alienate yourself from your feeling sensitivity. We do not want to become unfeeling rocks. This is an extreme solution. We also do not want the other extreme solution – which we might call Emotional fusion. When fused - There is no space between his felt experience and his being. In fusion - He is his emotional experience. Wears his heart on sleeve. Rollercoaster
🟥 PsycHacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMDiAMd_bU

Jul 12

In my opinion it's better to hold our emotions gently and to consider them in light of multiple sources of information – our reason, our senses, to decrease the likelihood that we're being misled. In this way we can consider emotions to be a source of information among many other sources of information. Watching your emotions – that is emotional detachment. Experiencing your emotions at arms length. This allows you to consider information or even wisdom.
🟥 PsycHacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMDiAMd_bU

Jul 12

Emotional fusion is like drowning. And Emotional amputation is like staying as far away from water as possible. Then emotional attachment is like swimming. In the water but not of the water. Our emotions are actually really important sources of information for us. We typically need our emotions in order to make good decisions.
🟥 PsycHacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMDiAMd_bU

Jul 12

Logic is different from rationalisation which isn't concerned with the truth, so in fact they often if not usually conflict with most people. As most people aren't interested in the truth.

Jul 12

it was my love, my energy and effort that made him special. Without it he, he is so ordinary
🟥 How to emotionally DETACH!
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5QrTQrTWXbI

Jul 12

Assuming blame made me feel safe. If it was my fault then I had control over gaining a sense of safety outside of myself by being good enough one day. So I'll just try to be good enough, I'll try to be better, smarter, quieter, whatever it is I will try to be better. That gave me false sense of security. Knowing where this feeling of not being good enough came from. You don't feel forgiven enough- there is always more you should have done for people.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2aQtmOdxVk

Jul 13

Narcissistic people are actually very socially perceptive. That's how they get supply – they have to be able to read the room. That's how they get to be so successful. And on top of that they are very sensitive and mildly paranoid. So they actually personality things that have nothing to do with them. They notice EVERYTHING. Even what you need – but since they lack empathy they ignore it unless they do it to get something they need from you.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akcL0NHnu2Q

Jul 13

🎵 Cassandra Jenkins - Delphinium Blue (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtsuqQJyTsg

Jul 13

🎵 ANKO - Landing (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5BpQE_VOuc

Jul 14

🎇 Toulouse : le grand feu d'artifice

Jul 14

🎥 Gidget (1959)

Jul 14

🎨 D-Day 80

Jul 14

🇫🇷 Edition spéciale 14 juillet, 2024-07-14, 09-12-09, France 2

Jul 14

🇫🇷 Edition spéciale 14 juillet, 2024-07-14, 09-12-09, France 2

Jul 14

🇫🇷 Défilé du 14 juillet 2024...., 2024-07-14, 11-55-28, TF1

Jul 14

🇫🇷 Défilé du 14 juillet 2024...., 2024-07-14, 11-55-28, TF1

Jul 14

Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.
🟦 Friedrich W. Nietzsche

Jul 14

🇫🇷 Paris accueille la flamme olympique, 2024-07-14, 18-39-32, France 2

Jul 15

If you look things as a challenge versus a threat – you perform better. Eliminating anxiety of the future – because if I do it in this way, then things are going to go my way: OCD. I want to eliminate anxiety by controlling the future.
🟥 Firefighting with Brad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uszjTkHZTmM

Jul 15

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-14, 19-01-41, L'Equipe

Jul 15

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-14, 19-01-41, L'Equipe

Jul 15

🏉 Rugby - Coupe du monde U20, 2024-07-14, 20-00-11, L'Equipe

Jul 15

🇫🇷 Le concert de Paris, 2024-07-14, 23-36-16, France 2

Jul 15

🇫🇷 Le concert de Paris, 2024-07-14, 23-36-16, France 2

Jul 15

🎥 Tom of Finland (2017)

Jul 16

I will learn how to think for myself

Jul 16

⚽ Football - Copa America, 2024-07-15, 21-12-39, L'Equipe

Jul 16

⚽ Football - Copa America, 2024-07-15, 21-12-39, L'Equipe

Jul 16

⚽ Football - Copa America, 2024-07-15, 21-12-39, L'Equipe

Jul 16

If you're old, don't try to change yourself, change your environment.
🟦 B.F. Skinner

Jul 16

The environment shapes people's actions.
🟦 B.F. Skinner

Jul 16

The mob rushes in where individuals fear to tread.
🟦 B.F. Skinner

Jul 16

Behavior is shaped and maintained by its consequences.
🟦 B.F. Skinner

Jul 16

Betrayal hurts. I do understand. But hanging onto that pain only makes it worse. You need to move past it. Find forgiveness.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Jul 16

Jul 17

Induced conversation - Similar to baiting. You're there just observing and quiet, narcissist is going to induce some conversation and say “You seem awfully quiet over there, you're tired or insecure, sad” - they are trying to induce you into debating, into conversating with them. It's a ploy to make you vulnerable with something that has nothing to do with your vulnerabilities at all. Be careful for induced conversation, they're famous for this.
🟥 theforensicbadass
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8e-79IC5B54

Jul 17

No contact is like we're looking at them but don't "see" them.

Jul 17

Narcissists perceives himself as perfect, for example that he is afraid to be discovered or uncovered or exposed, as imperfect – he feels like a fraud at all times. He feels that if people only known him better they would shunned him and avoided him -and you know what, he is right. Narcissistic Mortification is sudden sense of defeat – all his efforts to sell himself, fake it to make it, false self is crumbling.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GEKE-TIc2I

Jul 17

You confront them and they are like Who have you been listening to? They turn the table. They're hoping creating doubt in you. They take moral high ground – become self righteous. They degrade your character, dehumanize you. “You are nobody”. They take themselves out of the equation.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHdF1Q7p2XM

Jul 17

Seeking other people's approval which is what my brain associated pleasure with, and did not know that at the opposite end of stick I lived in a constant fear of other people's disapproval. This pain versus pleasure pump was motivating all of my thinking, all feeling. My subconscious mind was being controlled with what happened in my childhood. Without awareness we continue to do what we have always done.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

You might have fear of disapproval and might not be aware of it. By becoming aware of your triggers and patterns, you can begin to recognize when these emotions are arising and take steps to address them. In this way we can develop mindfulness, journaling is great asset to help you tune to your inner dialogue and gain clarity on what's driving your fears. Meditation that address self awareness.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

We oftentimes take the blame – “it is our fault”. At subconscious level if it's our fault – we can fix it by avoiding acknowledging our fears of disapproval we can maintain a sense of safety and security in these relationships. Even if it means sacrificing our own needs, and our own desires. This avoidance keeps us trapped in a cycle of seeking external validation without understanding the root cause of our behavior.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

Codependents rely on external validation and approval from others to feel worthy and lovable even from toxic others. The inner critic reinforces the belief that self-worth is dependent on other people's opinions and validation. Making it challenging for us codependents to cultivate the self-compassion independent of external feedback. Without validation from others, inner critic may amplify feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

Inner critic's harsh judgments serve as a protective mechanism to shield codependence from the pain of potential rejection or disapproval. If I'm always chasing you and I never accept that you're going to fully abandon or reject me, I'm in a perpetual state of seeking approval and fending off fear of rejection and vulnerability. This fear of vulnerability can make difficult to show compassion.We're not created to chase approval
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

We have to teach ourselves the emotional resiliency, the mental toughness skills that we need to face the anxiety that comes when we are rejected, when we are criticized. That's the key. Another issue that makes self-compassion difficult is the deep-seated beliefs of unworthiness. The inner critic of codependent often reinforces the beliefs that we are unworthy. And it reinforces the self-doubt. All these were internalized from past experiences.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

Showing self-compassion may feel foreign. The inner critic may constantly remind us that we have shortcomings, making mistakes and that we need someone else's approval to feel good. Despite the challenges, cultivating self-compassion is essential for us to break free from seeking external validation and approval. Embrace self compassion as component of healing journey – spending time with people who uplift you. Setting boundaries.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17
Explore idea if we can say No to others, we're learning to say yes to the inner child. Learning to say no and to prioritize our needs is essential for overcoming fear of disapproval. We don't need someone's approval, we don't need pat on the back, accolades. We are good all by ourselves. This fear is tied to childhood experiences where caretakers were unavailable or inconsistent to our needs. You just got ignored. Inconsistent is worse than no validation.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17
We have been conditioned to prioritize other people's needs over our own. We don't set boundaries because this is where our anxieties and fear comes from. Brain interprets this as threat to our survival – so the coping mechanism is to please. Until we uproot this, we cannot change it. We were made to feel responsible for our caregiver's emotions and actions or abuse towards us. Leads to deep sense of unworthiness and self-blame.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

We have been conditioned to believe we need people as much as we need oxygen. And we do not. We do not need other people. Everything we need to survive is right there inside of us. Our immune system takes care of us, and our mind can take care of us, we can develop the right patterns to move our lives forward. But these ideas and concepts must be cultivated. It will not just happen, you have to make it happen. If we have Roadmaps - life becomes easier.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17

If we suppress our true emotions, focus on other people's needs and seek to please others, that we can garner some sense of pseudo-control. This isn't just with primary relationships. We can feel this way with UPS guy, with guys at local deli, with our kids teachers, we step into subordinate position because of childhood programming. That has to stop. Toxic authority figures demand compliance as oppose to authenticity. People in your past pushed you away.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVHGOoIXnoE

Jul 17
When you grow up in less than perfect circumstances, it affects you at subconscious level. Not your fault – you are only trying to survive. Nothing is your fault. It also affects with neurological level – neurological pathways created in response to what's happening in your environment. Again – not your fault. There are Psychological consequences – you form your perception of self based on how other people treat you, idea of self worth how they treat you.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp93EwLkuuM

Jul 17
As a baby you don't know that people who are raising you are dysfunctional. You're just trying to get approval, not abandoned, tied to survival. Those of us who grew up like that there is huge hole in our boat. But we don't know it. We are so used to operating at this level of chaos, dysfunction that it becomes our norm. So while Mary or Tommy are moving faster to actualizing their dreams, we sit back thinking there must be something wrong with us.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp93EwLkuuM

Jul 17

There's nothing wrong with us. Our responses are appropriate considering what you've grew up with. It's important that those of us who come from alcoholic homes or abusive homes or neglectful homes we realize that we don't have growth mindset most of the time. We have a stuck mindset, survival mindset – but that is not end of the road. People who are making it in life have some amazing habits. It wasn't me – it was my programming.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp93EwLkuuM

Jul 17

Successful people are setting goals. I didn't know I wasn't setting goals. I was just waking up every day. This idea that I was supposed to be setting goals was foreign to me. And that's because I was living in survival. My nose was just above the waterline, operating below veil of consciousness. Life was getting through the day without being picked on, without being abandoned. So this idea to set goal for myself was life transforming.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp93EwLkuuM

Jul 17

🇦🇹 Eröffnung Bregenzer Festspiele 2024

Jul 17

🇮🇪 Spectaculaire Irlande

Jul 17

🇮🇪 Spectaculaire Irlande

Jul 17
🇮🇪 Spectaculaire Irlande

Jul 17

🇫🇮 Finnland - Sommer auf der Seenplatte

Jul 17

The Sack of Rome by Visigoths in 410
🎨 Joseph-Noël Sylvestre

Jul 18

Lack of compassion is based on hidden hurt. Born more sensitive than others – when they're well treated they become creators, and artists, and leaders and shamans, joyful. When they're hurt, they're traumatized all the more. The environment acting on sensitive genes will create more pain and all addictions and all mental health conditions in my view are ways of coping with pain. The more sensitive, the more prone to fall into those. Sensitivity potentiates it
🟥 Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcAtDSyehcc

Jul 18

Highly sensitive should not be limitation. It should actually be opening for more liberation and more creativity, and more joy and more freedom, properly understood. Neither genetically determined temperament nor what's happened to us should ever be used as an excuse for just staying static and stuck in certain pattern. Environment is supporting, you take task of healing: you're also more capable of growth.
🟥 Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcAtDSyehcc

Jul 18

Detachment is not that you own nothing. Detachment is that nothing owns you.
🟦 Bhagavad Gita

Jul 18

When we really want something we can put too much pressure on it. Or often we can put it on a pedestal. “That's when I'll be happy, joy or loved”. Rather it's approaching from a state of neutrality and finding ways to feel happy, joy and abundant right now. Paradox – it is about releasing the grip on specific outcomes and trusting the process. It requires deep trust and higher power. Carrying just enough for particular goal but not caring too much, investing
🟥 Detachment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBFJLzabb0o

Jul 18

Me leaving anybody at the slightest red flag – cause I have suffered too much in this life already.
🟥 Once you learn the act of detachment, it will be easier for you to let go of any type of stress
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UCf6LZ-cHL8

Jul 18

🇵🇹 An der Sandalgarve in Portugal - Blaue Züge, blaues Meer

Jul 18

🇵🇹 An der Sandalgarve in Portugal - Blaue Züge, blaues Meer

Jul 18

🏖️ Beach Volley. C.to Italiano Gold Montesi, 2024-07-18, 12-41-15, Rai Sport HD

Jul 18

🏖️ Beach Volley. C.to Italiano Gold Montesi, 2024-07-18, 12-41-15, Rai Sport HD

Jul 18

🏃‍♂️ Giro Lago di Resia, 2024-07-18, 13-44-25, Rai Sport HD

Jul 18

🇮🇹 Lago di Resia, Reschensee or Lake Reschen

Jul 18

A person who has been punished is not thereby simply less inclined to behave in a given way; at best, he learns how to avoid punishment.
🟦 B.F. Skinner

Jul 18

It is when you are confronted with challenges that you see what is important to you and what your true aspirations are.
🟦 Benoît Lecomte

Jul 18

Small correction:

What i take away from this is if you want to change the way you feel about something start by changing the way your inner critic and toxic shame and trauma and toxic people force you to think.
If you want to change to way you think about something start by changing your operant conditioning messaging system perspective.

Jul 18

Don't get the concept of detachment confused with feeling apathetic, feeling nothing for anything. Detachment is being selective of what you're choosing to care about. Excess energy stored in you as fat – excess importance or caring gets stored in you as anxiety. Processing so much how do they like me, how am I looking – literally takes energy from you. It blocks that true you from coming out.
🟥 Clark Kegley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0bL4MN7mOM

Jul 18

Analogy of tossing your phone – it is easy, you don't think about it. You don't doubt yourself can I toss this phone. You just do it. But what if we make one simple change. Hold your phone over the ledge. The importance changed. It causes your body to respond completely differently, you get it in your head you might mess it up. We place this mental importance around goals, people, outcomes. The ease effortlessness of life get as if being over balcony.
🟥 Clark Kegley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0bL4MN7mOM

Jul 18

You're not wrong if you want people to view you a certain way. That is completely normal in human nature. But caring about your image can mess you up – if you're over attached. “This is one thing I can't mess it up”. When we're caring about how we're coming across we're making the whole thing about us. You're making it about you. If your goal is service, reaching people, connecting, is the thing actually about you? Detach how you are looking, you relax more
🟥 Clark Kegley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0bL4MN7mOM

Jul 18

Over-attachment is a control issue. “If I can control it, it will be better I have steering wheel”. The moment you try to control life and people you actually push it away. And so much of your life is uncontrollable. It requires trust. Do you want to be in relationship who is controlling? When you are over-attached, that gets worse results, not better. End up placing too much importance on the outcome.
🟥 Clark Kegley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0bL4MN7mOM

Jul 18

What helps me is to associate him with demonic traits. Something I can't love. Then I realize what I'm missing is the feeling and that I'm withdrawing from all that dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin.

Jul 18

We have no control over other people’s decisions. We hurt ourselves by trying to control. LET THEM do as they please !!

Jul 18

Grice's Maxims are unwritten rules most people follow without being aware of them, that govern how people cooperate with each other in conversation. For example, if somebody asks you are you going to the beach later – you're not going to start talking about the movie you saw last night. You're probably answer question first and then change the topic. Don't say too much, too little, insufficient evidence, irrelevant. Be clear and direct.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1J2BMpaAag

Jul 18

Overthinking – our brain is giving us way too much information, often the problem is not the quantity itself, it's that we're not clear on the other three Grice's Maxims. We might not know which part of this information are relevant, and which parts we ought to be focusing our attention on. We might not know which information is true and what is false. And so we might not know which information we must trust, weight heavily.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1J2BMpaAag

Jul 18

Trauma can cause you to retain too much information about the traumatic event. And your mind is unable to sort through what is relevant and what is irrelevant. Your brain might log everything around you as part of the threat. Area of town, red shirt, song, might trigger threat response in the future. In non-traumatized state we are able to filter these out as unimportant information – traumatized brain register as relevant when they're not.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1J2BMpaAag

Jul 18

In overthinking turn our attention towards these other 3 maxims to try to figure out how to improve the quality and structure of our thinking so that we get better results quicker. Which parts of information that you have retained are actual indications of danger and which are not. Helping your nervous system recognize which cues are real danger cues and which are not. Narrow down information what is true, relevant, what is problem to solve here.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1J2BMpaAag

Jul 18

It's really hard to to structure our thoughts effectively if we don't know in clear and unambiguous terms what problem it is that we are trying to solve with our thinking. Ask: do I know specifically what the problem I'm dealing with is, and do I know what the solution to the problem would look like. Often I get very hazy responses from myself. I want to focus – are not very clear goals. They're very vague and indirect goals.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1J2BMpaAag

Jul 18

🇸🇮 Des trains pas comme les autres, 2024-07-18, 21-00-11, France 5

Jul 18

🥾 Pacific Crest Trail

Jul 18

🥾 Pacific Crest Trail

Jul 18

🇧🇪 Les aventures de Tintin

Jul 18

🇲🇨 monaco, l'extension de tous les defis, 2024-07-18, 22-44-08, RMC Découverte

Jul 19

🇸🇪 Midnight at Riksgränsen

Jul 19

Sky news went on a vacation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJUvTVdTMyY

Jul 19

To think that you could just walk around to be with indifference and especially when you want someone is complete utter BS. It's a setup for failure. To feel numb and dead inside is different thing. Indifference can look like real depression, where you don't care about yourself or anyone or anything, because there's a such of depletion of energy, and wound inside. That's not the answer to just stop caring. Many care too much.
🟥 Dr. Kim Sage, Licensed Psychologist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEHJ2yL1mfk

Jul 19

When you attach everything to the other person it makes all of that relationship becomes so much more powerful and what they can take away from you. So if I attached this person doesn't like me back – I'll never have a family, I'll never have a home, I'll never life the life I want, I'm getting them story that is not accurate. Look at the story you created. You've created an entire outcome from this trying to control.
🟥 Dr. Kim Sage, Licensed Psychologist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEHJ2yL1mfk

Jul 19

📽️ Le bleu du caftan (2022)

Jul 19

🇺🇸 Los Angeles 2028

Jul 20

Some of us are sleepwalking through life. When we're children we are forced to learn. But when we become adults, personal development is up to us. We have to choose to do it. And if we're not careful it's easy to just sleepwalk through life. To have no vision. To have no dream. To not develop yourself. General in US military explained among100 soldiers 10 should not be there. 80 are fillers, just there. 9 soldiers we never know who they are do all the work
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drk1pSucAy0

Jul 20

Discouragements but vision will pull you through. Most of all do not become mocker, and do not keep company with mockers. Do not become cynic and do not keep company with cynics. If you do that, your life is over. Psalm chapter 1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the way of wicked. Young man becomes old mocker. They just mocking mocking mocking. Beware. Stay away from those people. Beware of Blame list. Longer blame list, smaller your future.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drk1pSucAy0

Jul 20

🏉 Coupe du monde U20

Jul 20

🏉 Coupe du monde U20

Jul 20

🏉 Coupe du monde U20

Jul 20

🏀 Preparation 🇫🇷 - 🇨🇦

Jul 20

🏀 Preparation 🇫🇷 - 🇨🇦

Jul 20

:transgender: Drag Race France - une seule sera la reine, 2024-07-19, 23-34-55, France 2

Jul 20

🇺🇸 Miami

Jul 20

🇺🇸 Miami

Jul 20

🇺🇸 Florida

Jul 20

🇺🇸 Florida

Jul 20

🏃‍♂️ Corsa in montagna. Primiero Dolomiti Mar, 2024-07-20, 10-24-38, Rai Sport HD

Jul 20

If someone is insecure, fear based, etc, they will go to great lengths (usually subconsciously) to mitigate feeling bad. Often, a maladaptive way is to try to exert control over others, whether it is controlling the narrative or other power plays…so, in those cases, it’s not a “judgement” to discern toxic behavior and have boundaries around that.
We have to be careful to not be inadvertently dismissive of real situations and gloss over with positivity.

Jul 21

Don't go through life with little vision, thinking you reached your limits. Try different approach. Allow to exceed your expectations.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxIH4qYhps4

Jul 21

🎵 The Ronettes
Walking In The Rain (1964)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l5t1FUscUI

Jul 21

We got to let other people be right. We got to allow them to be right. It doesn't mean you have to agree with everything that they're saying. Just let them be right, it doesn't make you wrong. It makes you a peacemaker. I don't want to be right all the time, it is too costly. It's too expensive. It isn't worth of price of my home, my family, my children, of my job. We have to be willing to be peacemaker. Diplomat. Arbitrator. Calmer. Soother. Go-between.
✝️ Victoria Osteen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbbrtNBvR0Y

Jul 21

We all know we have to have difficult conversations. But it's not about having our way. It's about saying I want to converse with this person, I want to be intelligent about it. But I don't have to have my way. I can let someone else to be right. And it doesn't have to be done my way. There are more ways to the point than just my way. There's more way to a common goal than just my way. Sometimes take my hands off, zip it up, for peace.
✝️ Victoria Osteen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbbrtNBvR0Y

Jul 21

🎵 Aaron Frazer - I Don't Wanna Stay (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3qxWnh3VwY

Jul 21

🏃‍♂️ Corsa in montagna. Primiero Dolomiti Mar, 2024-07-21, 18-04-40, Rai Sport HD

Jul 21

🏈 ranFOOTBALL

Jul 21

There was a lot of peace in knowing that is was his issue and not some defect in me.
If people aren't giving your what you want, or if they're just behaving badly, most times, that's their problem, not yours.
🟥 TEDxWilmingtonWomen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nirKw3mWB3I

Jul 21

I can't face her.
- Absolutely not. You're not going to see Hope, you're not going to see anybody until you can get something that resembles control of yourself.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Jul 22

Once a person breaks the seal in an act of violence, whether as a victim or perpetrator, they are really no longer the same. Civilization does not understand them and they lose their sense of civilized reality permanently.

Jul 22

I don’t have any type of problem getting rejected. I just don’t know what mental illness lies underneath the people who say no to me. I don’t know if they have big egos. I don’t know if they want to go runoff and tell people some distorted version of what took place and now it’s a big drama between me and them and whoever they manipulated, etc., I just don’t know what kind of dog shit I’d have to deal with if I were to make the mistake of simply talking to someone with a big ego.

Jul 22

Many people who've grown up with parents who couldn't regulate their own emotions couldn't help teach the child to regulate theirs.
🟥 Jim Brillon - Orange County Therapist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0hg5ZCWIyM

Jul 22

🇸🇪 Midnight in Jokkmokk

Jul 22

🐬 Oum, le dauphin blanc

Jul 22

⚽ Captain Tsubasa

Jul 22

We don't want you to feel ashamed. That's not good. We just want you to understand why you do some of the things that you do.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Jul 23

Don’t expect closure. Don’t expect them to change. That is how you take your power back from a narcissist.

Jul 23

I didn't want to be mean to this person, so I bit my tongue. I can regulate myself because if I didn't hold back I would have lost it. So I made video.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3ngCG92Mxo

Jul 23

We are all at our worst when we are angry. When healthy people behave badly when they are angry – they are accountable. They offer meaningful apologies. And not the BS “I'm sorry you feel that way” nonsense. They make amends.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3ngCG92Mxo

Jul 23

When narcissists are not angry they are able to be better regulated but still don't have full spectrum of empathy – not even close. They are still selfish. And they are still entitled. And this is piece that is so frustrating: They may even know that they believe like an ass* when they are angry – but they still do it.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3ngCG92Mxo

Jul 23

Narcissists desperately dislike critics so if you're not critical person – “good this is going to work our really well for me”. They are hoping you will be natural person that say I'll take you naturally for whatever you bring with you. If you are known as reliable, responsible- narcissist can think – good, this means you have sense of duty and honor so I'll with you what I think the rules and regulations and how things are suppose to be-bound to do
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW985tIBSB8

Jul 23

I believe that evil is the real thing. A noun, not just an adjective. I've noticed its presence from time to time, I'm sensitive to that for as long as I can remember. I've sensed it in minor things. A stranger who passes me on a sidewalk. An empty room that appears in a dream for me. And it brings a wave of dread and revulsion when I encounter evil. It's not quite physical nor emotional but I feel it here sometimes online.
🟥 Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTg_cXBvv5Y

Jul 23

🏊‍♂️ Nuoto Artistico- C.ti Italiani Estivi -, 2024-07-23, 12-19-29, Rai Sport HD

Jul 23

📽️ Muscle Beach Party (1964)

Jul 23

📽️ Muscle Beach Party (1964)

Jul 23

🎞️ Muscle Beach Party (1964) is the debut of music prodigy "Little" Stevie Wonder, who receives an "introducing" credit.

Jul 23

🇮🇪 Nus et culottés

Jul 23

🇮🇪 Nus et culottés

Jul 23

🇮🇪 Nus et culottés

Jul 23

🇩🇪 Aldi: Wie günstig, frisch und gut ist der Discounter wirklich?

Jul 23

🇮🇹 Cornetto battiti live, 2024-07-22, 23-04-00, Canale5 HD

Jul 23

🇮🇹 Cornetto battiti live, 2024-07-22, 23-04-00, Canale5 HD

Jul 23

🇮🇹 Cornetto battiti live, 2024-07-22, 23-04-00, Canale5 HD

Jul 23

Why you do this? You do it all the time, you look for trouble.
- I'm not looking for it, I felt it when I first walked in here.
- Everything is fine.
- Don't do that. Don't diminish my concern.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Jul 24

When you are codependent, you are someone who's been raised to think that you are powerless, and the way to regain that power is to remain hypervigilant, to keep your focus on mummy and daddy, and to feel over responsible for what is happening outside of you. Below the veil of consciousness you think everything is your fault. Try to control what they can. Whether or not they smile, or cry. Control how they are showing up, to make mummy happy.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRRHJr9ct0

Jul 24

As a child the message that I got was you are unlovable. We don't like you. There's something wrong with you. You are not good enough. And so as a child you don't get that positive reinforcement from the outside due to alcoholism where one parent is alcoholic and other is co-alcoholic or codependent, pretends that nothing's really happening, and your needs are going to get ignored.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRRHJr9ct0

Jul 24

Codependent parent is enabling alcoholic parent thinking that I'm doing everything right. But you're not. By enabling the alcoholic, and by ignoring the emotions, the energy and the neglect in the child or the neglect of child's emotions and their internal reality what they're perceiving. By pretending that nothing's happening you are hurting your child. You're teaching the child that it is not okay to be authentic. To ignore how I feel.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRRHJr9ct0

Jul 24

Partner will not know how to give you what you need because hole is inside of you. There's nothing anybody outside of you can do, say to make you feel good enough. That's an inside job. When partner doesn't pat you on the back you will feel eternally wounded. What you don't realize wound activated has less to do with your partner. It's about idea that you have dysfunctional unconscious belief system running you need approval, validate your existence.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRRHJr9ct0

Jul 24

My maternity psychologist once told me: Em, if normal people have 5 batteries each day and you only have 1, you need to accept that. Plain and simple. I took that to heart. I do not function like others, I need more rest.

Jul 24

In contemporary society it is effective for us to be constantly focused on ourselves and monitoring our performance and self-image. To be so fixated on promoting ourselves is to never let your guard down – to compulsively market and improve yourself in the hopes of one day perfecting your self-project. This constant self-reference develops into a rat race within oneself and eventually it can lead to burnout.
🟥 The Myth of Self Improvement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scwsg9Ai3rg

Jul 24

It's (Having compassion for the narcissist) the kind of thing that turns you into a doormat.

Jul 24

They want you to care about them but they don't want to care about you. It's that simple.

Jul 24

Having compassion for the narcissist is what got me here in the first place. I tolerated the intolerable. My mistake, but never, ever again.

Jul 24

All of this compassion you have for narcissistic person who is or who has harmed you. Try and do this for yourself too. If you are able to construct this elegant theory of why they are the way they are and do what they do, why can't you do this for yourself? In this relationship you often think you're the problem. You did the bad. You are the issue. We all know that trauma bonding. If that's the case- we know you are able to be compassionate for bad person.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyLrGl8RAYM

Jul 24

For example, when you say I'm so demanding, I am so difficult, I'm expecting them to help out with the kitchen after they had long day (you had long day too - but you focus on theirs). Perhaps you can say I'm asking for help because had a long day myself and I could use the help. When you say maybe I am not trying hard enough in this relationship maybe I am problem and I am not communicating clearly – makes all this harder.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyLrGl8RAYM

Jul 24

When you believe you are bad person for getting angry or raising your voice, at the narcissistic person who lied to you, you could try – Well I was exposed to anger all the time as a child, and nobody listened anyone. I don't love these explanations for you – you aren't a bad person for having an honest reaction to someone who betrays you. You are communicating clearly. They just aren't listening. And they should be helping you in the kitchen.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyLrGl8RAYM

Jul 24

At a minimum try and come up compassionate justifications for your own behavior. You're doing it for the narcissist, just do the same thing for yourself. At least it's more self kind place to begin. You get BS message how you need to find compassion for someone who is so riddled with shame – well survivors have to carry all of the compassionate and emotional baggage in the relationship. 'Be compassionate to narcissist' is what you hear, 'communicate'...
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyLrGl8RAYM

Jul 24

It appears as if toxic person has some kind of unknown power to hold us into worry and fear and panic. But nope - it is our own logical, mentally healthy part of our brain that is causing the disorder.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ideas/comments/1ebajwf/detachment/

Jul 24

Jul 25

Detaching is knowing that whatever people are doing to you should not be influencing your choices, your life, your capacity and even your doing. I have my own life, my own style, my own different likings, so why would I not be able to express that to myself.
🟥 detachment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lk_kXURdQU

Jul 25

What a child can do today with assistance, she will be able to do by herself tomorrow.
🟦 Lev Vygotsky

Jul 25

The teacher must adopt the role of facilitator, not content provider.
🟦 Lev Vygotsky

Jul 25

Through others we become ourselves.
🟦 Lev Vygotsky

Jul 25

People who accomplish great deeds rarely come out of good little boys and girls.
🟦 Lev Vygotsky

Jul 25

social contact was essential for intellectual development

Jul 25

Children grow into the intellectual life around them.
🟦 Lev Vygotsky

Jul 25

🇩🇴 Dominican Republic

Jul 25

🇨🇺 Cuba

Jul 25

🇪🇨 Ecuador

🏉 Jeux Olympiques - session d'après-midi, 2024-07-24, 16-51-17, France 2

Jul 25

🏉 Jeux Olympiques - session d'après-midi, 2024-07-25, 15-38-18, France 2

Jul 25

🇪🇸 Costa Verde

Jul 25

🇪🇸 Costa Verde

Jul 25

🇪🇸 Costa Verde

Jul 25

🇫🇷 Olympic Games Paris 2024
calendar

Jul 25

🏉 Jeux Olympiques - session d'après-midi, 2024-07-24, 19-32-08, France 2

Jul 25

🏉 Jeux Olympiques - session d'après-midi, 2024-07-24, 19-32-08, France 2

Jul 25

🇧🇪 Les aventures de Tintin

Jul 25

🇧🇪 Les aventures de Tintin

Jul 25

🚣 Der Ruder-Achter - Geschichte eines Mythos

Jul 25

🚣 Der Ruder-Achter - Geschichte eines Mythos

Jul 25

🇪🇸 Der Jakobsweg

Jul 25

🇪🇸 Der Jakobsweg

Jul 25

🐳 Der Humboldtstrom: Das wilde Patagonien

Jul 25

🐳 Der Humboldtstrom: Das wilde Patagonien

Jul 26

We form our views of ourselves based on our perceptions of how others view us.
🟥 Looking-Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjD_yb8DCKM

Jul 26

In complex trauma a child will be lied to and they get angry – and they should. But they try to resolve the problem which is what anger was designed to do, but then they get smacked and being told to not do that. So their only option to deal with anger because they didn't resolve the problem was to stuff the anger down. What is the effect in person's physical emotional life, mental health when they repress anger for years?
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

Gabor Mate in When the body say No says that when we have been prevented from learning how to say no, so when somebody wants to abuse you and you can't stop it – or if there is a problem and you say this needs to happen, somebody wants to use you and you say no but nobody listens to your no, and you push yourself to help and you don't say no, when we don't say no - our bodies end up saying it for us. Body goes on strike.
🟥 Tim Fletcher, Unresolved Anger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

There's a lot of research – repressed anger and stress lead to significant health problems, never being able to say no. There's a high cost to suppressing stress and anger. Repression is dissociating emotions from awareness. Face the option – do I live with pain of fear and shame and anger I can never fix so it's going to be constant fear, constant pain, or do I disconnect from it - Dissociate from it. You relegate those emotion in unconscious world.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

So what you think you've done by disconnecting from all of that pain is you think that doesn't bother me anymore – because I'm not feeling it. So “it must not have any effect on me”. What you don't realize is your subconscious realm – is still experiencing that, you just have disconnected from it. So it is still taking its toll. Gabor Mate says by putting it in unconscious realm, they continue to give stress and they disorganize confuse our psych. defenses.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

In some people these psychological defenses go awry, crazy, becoming the destroyers of health rather than the protectors. Anger emotions were designed to protect you. But if you couldn't resolve problems and you put it in subconscious world – they're no longer able to protect you. Now they actually will work against you. And become enemy because the stress they are under in subconscious world if being added, the more stuff you disconnect from.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

Disconnect from anger eventually attacks your immune system, your central nervous system and it sets you up for disease. The power of repressed anger and stress to cause huge damage and major negative ramifications throughout our body. When you are aware of anger, afterwards you get anger hangover. It sucks emotional tank dry with that anger episode. Complex Trauma causes suppressed emotions takes toll on body and nervous system.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

Cortisol was designed to go in short little bursts. Fear- you go to fight, flight and then situation is resolved, fixed and cortisol disappears. You go back to normal life of feeling safe. When you are in ongoing danger and cortisol is pumping all the time. Ongoing pumping of cortisol does tremendous damage through your body. People with complex trauma do not have good boundaries. You live in stress all the time. Always worrying – can you do this for me.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

Next thing – Mask. Everybody in complex trauma does wear mask. It's because either you don't know who you are, or you think you know who you are and you're afraid nobody will like that person. So you're always playing a role, being fake. You realize how much stress this puts on your system? To constantly be playing a role. To constantly be wondering are people seeing through my mask, and seeing the real me?
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

Cortisol comes out of survival types of situations. In Complex trauma the most common chemical is Cortisol. Emotional competence requires to become aware of their emotional world. Not disconnected. Identify emotions that they feel and actually feel it. Ability to regulate expression of that emotions. Anger does not give you right to punch someone in the face. What they said triggered stuff from your past – that is reaction all about.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

When I can't manage my emotions, express my emotions, know my needs – I have tons of stress that I'm not even aware of. Family systems in which children develop diseases: enmeshment where everything is everybody's business. All of those are boundaries issues. Positive thinkers – some of those is ok but it is denial about pain, refusal to look accurately about what is going in your life. This makes it worse. Repress and deny so never resolve stress.
🟥 Tim Fletcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

People need to tap into their creative energy. We're all wired with different skills and passions. When you help homeless person, it energizes you, make you feel more alive, in helping others you help yourself. We can create new world for ourselves and we're responsible for it.
🟥 Tim Fletcher, Unresolved Anger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cHDkskc6HM

Jul 26

🇦🇹 Eröffnung der Salzburger Festspiele

Jul 26

🇮🇸 Iceland

Jul 26

🇮🇸 Iceland

Jul 26

🎭 Opera - La sonnambula (The Sleepwalker)

Jul 26

⚔️ les chevaliers templiers et le saint graal - strategies de survi, 2024-07-25, 23-50-02, RMC Découverte

Jul 26

⚔️ les chevaliers templiers et le saint graal - strategies de survi, 2024-07-25, 23-50-02, RMC Découverte

Jul 26

⚔️ les chevaliers templiers et le saint graal - strategies de survi, 2024-07-25, 23-50-02, RMC Découverte

Jul 26

🇯🇵 Wild Japan Hokkaido

Jul 26

⚽ Captain Tsubasa

Jul 26

🇫🇷 Jeux Olympiques de Paris 2024 - l'avant cérémonie d'ouverture, 2024-07-26, 17-34-06, France 2

Jul 26

The Simpsons Comics, 2009