Mastodon 2024 June

 June 1, 2024

If you are a good person, go get what you want. If you are a good person go after what you desire as long as it's not a sin.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UXanuZXYHU

June 1

I can't in chaos. I've had too much of that in my life already. It's destructive and it's exhausting.
🎞️ The Bold and The Beautiful (2020)

Jun 1

🇩🇪 Bild

Jun 1

⚽ Sassuolo - Roma

 

Jun 1

The Deer Hunter (1978)

Jun 2

⚽ Borussia Dortmund - Real Madrid CF

Jun 2

When you isolate someone it forces them to doubt, ruminate, resent.

Jun 2

It wasn't you. It was an adaptation that you took on as a way of surviving your childhood, as a way of soothing your pain. It's when we got older that we realized that there's something more to us than a personality. That the personality is actually a defensive cover for who we truly are. As you go through therapy and go through layers you realize, oh, that's not actually me. You realize what you thought was personality was actually just a defensive cover
🟥 Dr. Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cViBkKnbm1I

Jun 2

The personality itself is a defensive structure that we develop as a way of dealing with our pain. Much of what we consider to be a personality is actually an overlay upon our two cells. And so these aren't choices in shelters. With my ADD I never chose to tune out. But when I was infant under conditions I had plenty of stress on me. And how infant deal with stress that they can't change? They tune out. Become programmed into brain. It was adaptation.
🟥 Dr. Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cViBkKnbm1I

Jun 2

It's been well studied and documented that repression of healthy anger disturbs the immune system. Healthy anger is intruding on your space and they won't desist, you say – you're in my space, get out. It's in the moment, done it's job and finished with. It's different from chronic rage. Anger is boundary defense. Human emotional system has job in general in allowing what is nurturing, loving and healthy, and keep out what isn't = immune system job.
🟥 Dr. Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_qhvzDpQpk

Jun 2

Our brains are wired for attachment. We have another need –need for authenticity. To be ourselves, connected to our bodies and our gut feelings. Without access to our gut feelings, we don't survive out there in nature. Authenticity is important when you know what you want, when to say yes, being ourselves. Throwing tantrums –having no self-regulation. You punish them and give message you are not acceptable to me when you are angry, you must be certain way
🟥 Dr. Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_qhvzDpQpk

Jun 2

The child will choose the attachment and therefore they give up connection to themselves. Which is the essence of trauma– disconnection from ourselves. And we do that for the sake of maintaining the attachments. For the rest of our lives we will be afraid of being ourselves. People pleasers. Trauma is not just personal issue, it is social, collective and historical issues. My point is that nobody is broken. Our first nature is always there. Find true self
🟥 Dr. Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_qhvzDpQpk

Jun 2

For years I felt so much pain around difficult people because I thought I was doing something wrong. Also, being a reasonable person I couldn't understand why would this person act this way. Hoping that difficult person will change, that hope was actually keeping me from changing.
🟥 Mel Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

 Jun 2

We're more fascinating by them than not only we are with how this is affecting us but are we because we had to hid ourselves in order to stay in these relationships. Tale of hunter is always told about hunter, not the lion. Hunter always gets to tell the story. Predatory – stealing your sense of self, make you exist for them. It is gradual transition. You realize you are entirely living in their psychological service and to appease them.
🟥 Mel Robbins | Dr Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

The child doesn't have the luxury of saying my parent is a narcissist so nothing I do is going to work. They can't divorce the parent. So they've got to modify themselves. That builds a muscle in the child. And that muscle that gets build up in the child is that capacity to modify oneself to be what the other person needs, to create an attachment. Not only that become bad precedent when dating, you shape yourself to suit them, it is never enough.
🟥 Mel Robbins | Dr Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

We think we become better to change them when we “becoming better” we're just becoming better supply. We're giving them everything they want. And what the narcissistic person wants is that we anticipate their needs, read their minds, be what they want, never be a source of stress, prop them up, keep our needs and want quiet and then boom – you're perfect source of supply. You've build this muscle up – this accommodation muscle.
🟥 Mel Robbins | Dr Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

Radical acceptance does not means that all of that go away, it's not magic pill. It doesn't mean it's all going to get better. It's not that you are signing off their behavior, that you're agreeing with their behavior, it's that you are leaning into understanding that this is it. This is not going to change. The summit of radical acceptance is – this is not my fault. Hoping that they can change is biggest barrier to healing –resources are invested in idea of them changing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

Problem with narcissistic abuse is ruminate = no solution. Where many other ruminators are getting the solution, the narcissistically abused ruminator just keeps hitting the same wall, fuels powerlessness. Rumination without solution is depression. That's why survivors look depressed. They have isolated themselves. Once vibrant person is living small life, stuck in thinking. Spinning the problem in isolation that has no solution.
🟥 Mel Robbins | Dr Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

Anyone can change. The narcissistic person won't change. They could change but they won't.
🟥 Mel Robbins | Dr Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

🇬🇧 No Context Brits

Jun 2

The vast majority of people who had narcissistic parents develop significant anxiety, self-doubt, social anxiety, am I doing enough, am I enough. Clients say: Had I parent who saw me clearly stepped out of their selfish haze long enough to see me, I would not be 45 and figuring stuff in life for the first time. At 45 they feel behind all of their peers. If I were given the right tools. Recognizing there are tools that other people have. Grief
🟥 Mel Robbins | Dr Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewDusCWdCM

Jun 2

💍 Coeur De Lion

Jun 2

🎭 Opera The Song of the Ladder

Jun 2

🇮🇹 Military Parade

Jun 2

⚽ Téléfoot. 'Téléfoot 22'..., 2024-06-02, 11-16-52, TF1

Jun 2

🗑️ Basket-ball - Betclic Elite

Jun 2

🏈 ran Football: ELF - Rhein Fire at Frankfurt Galaxy

Jun 2

🏉 RUGBY FINALE SERIE A: VIADANA-PETRARCA Diretta dallo stadio Lanfranchi (Parma)

Jun 2

🏉 Viadana - Petrarca, 2024-06-02, 17-23-15, Rai 2 HD

 

Jun 2

🏉 CANAL RUGBY CLUB, 2024-06-02, 20-04-18, CANAL+

Jun 2

🏉 Rugby locker room

Jun 3

You find yourself to please them. Because if this person sacks me, I can't earn my money. There's no more shame that people take away than if they've fawned. Why was I so nice this person that was clearly not being very nice to me. A lot of the time you did not choose it. It was chosen for you and your system was elegant in selecting the way to keep you alive. And your system can't tell the difference sometimes.
🟥 The narcissistic boss
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_QUYWz8VqgA

Jun 3

Social anxiety as rollercoaster
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide

Jun 3

🎭 Incandescences

 

Jun 4

⚽ Football - Match de préparation à l'Euro 2024, 2024-06-03, 21-15-58, L'Equipe

Jun 4

For those without RSD,a critique at work meeting or disapproving glance from a friend can be brushed off relatively easily. Life proceeds without the constant worry that you've somehow failed or aren't good enough, based on every interaction. But for someone with RSD,it's different story. Casual remark or even a joke can be perceived as deep personal attack. The emotional response? It's not just sadness or irritation. It's visceral all consuming pain
🟥 Rejection Sensitive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB0m9AzxPpU

Jun 4

The biggest mistake is thinking  that others are thinking  or feeling as you do

Jun 4

Abuse damages your ability to make judgments, and it damages your ability to tell fantasy from reality. Because when you are in dyad, when you are in duo with somebody who has NPD, they pull you into their world and it's like being dipped in a corrosive acid. And it corrodes boundaries, it corrodes critical thinking, and it corrodes our capacity to be confident in our assessment of reality. So you lose a lot of confidence, you become insecure.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Dq8N9tT5fQU

Jun 4

And you become confused. And in your confusion, you seek leadership. And then they offer you that leadership. But they're leading you to the slaughterhouse.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Dq8N9tT5fQU

 Jun 4

Stand for something,  or you'll fall for anything.

Jun 4

Anxiety is uncontrollable and excessive apprehension. Narcissists are anxious for social approval etc. Narcissists resemble very much to patients who suffer from panic attacks and social phobia. Narcissists are embarrassed of being embarrassed and being criticized in public. And most narcissists fail to function well in social settings, interpersonal. This is very common to narcissist and people with social phobia.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRZG1uLFsrc

Jun 4

"Normal" people were exposed to idiots since their early teen years and they figured out how to ignore the baiting. We didn't. We started our isolation in our teen years - around the age of 12 - and we never had lessons in life how to deal around the hate. All we had is isolation and imagination and rumination - and to copy paste the lessons from our life before the bullying incident happened - so our mechanisms and tools around social situations are based on childhood.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide

Jun 5

Borderlines are only really empathic some of the time. When we split and have borderline rage a lot of us have no empathy at all. I believe some refer to it as a secondary psychopath.

Jun 5

once they start to internalize these label(s), they usually research the disorder(s) and in most cases start to weaponize it and or form their core sense of identity around it. Ultimately using the diagnosis itself as a manipulation tool to justify certain behaviors either to themselves or others.

Jun 5

Giving people very clear information. What most folks are grappling with is what the hell is this. What am I up against? And since a very few therapists would tell them about it, there's very little content, they're getting nonsense messaging like you need to forgive this person. “Everybody is different”. “They don't really mean it” “They didn't intend to hurt you”. They're been giving such mixed messages. Validate their experience, this is not ok.
🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

Hold there –what they are doing is not ok. Empowering responsibility has to start with very clear messaging on what narcissism is, how it works. Not these mixed messages “there's a therapy and law and then they can get better”, show me the evidence! I have never seen randomized clinical trial in a population based sample that has shown sustained outcomes for people with narcissistic personality. It ain't happened yet. Stop putting one person unicorn
🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

Once you give the clients that clarity they actually do start pulling out. You've been using them as point of reference for too long. I want you to live your life and not care – because they don't care about you – so why would you care what they think? Some people get lost in that ideation – grief instead of viewing it as self-victimhood. What would happen if I had parents who actually listened to me. Would I chosen a better spouse. Would I felt deserving of love
🟥 Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

Radical acceptance is understanding that this is not going to change. So while you are in this relationship these are the patterns are going to show up. And to have realistic expectations for this is how it is. By the time somebody reads my book they have tried 17,000 ways how to communicate with this person. Thud – this person will never be solicited, infidelity will never stop, this is how it is. It will still hurt you, they do something hurtful.
🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

I know we've gotten to real radical acceptance with you when you're no longer surprised by their behavior. They will do their manipulative invalidating thing and you are like, here we go, this is how it is. You are no longer like “I can't believe this is happening”, you don't wail, you won't cry, get upset. Anger is great, it is mobilizing. But wailing and self blame is not good for you. Realistic expectations kick in and there is grief.
🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

This reality we can't afford two rents when it is seeped into radical acceptance, person can do other things – finding meaning and purpose in oriented activities. Most people turn their narcissistic relationship into a full-time job. No longer put energy into it. It's really doing the bare minimum in that relationship. Not defending yourself. Not engaging with them, not explaining yourself, don't personalize it.
🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

With people pleasing we need to take step back. What are the origins of this? Is this trauma informed behavior? Was this a way how person maintained attachments? If a person had narcissistic parent, being a people pleaser was the only way they were going to get any form of attunement from that parent. People pleasing now is literally may be safety behavior. What is function of people pleasing– only by doing I am going to be safe. Fixing becomes love
🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

 Jun 5

Person who no longer engaging in all the people pleasing does think of themselves as an asshole. That's where they go to self harming language. But they are not an asshole. I can't wake up at 3am to get them to airport, I will get myself sick. People pleasers feel I am just keep on doing this because it is such trauma based behavior. Where “I'm tired of being Mr nice guy” are vulnerable narcissists. They are not people pleasers, manipulative victimized.
🟥 Dr. Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

You've got to remove narcissist from the central role. This is important to me, end of sentence. Stop using They'll be so proud of me. This character is gone. They don't get role, they are plot feature. Person who is trying to do this is walking from everything they have been told: make compromises, forgive, get along and I'm bad person if I don't do that. No, I am not door mat, I was engaging in behavior that kept me safe. I give more permission to my voice
🟥 Dr. Ramani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0I2UV_ANZU

Jun 5

It's not always on you. So many people try to take the blame for a narcissist or a toxic person being horrible – it's not your fault that they're being horrible to you. Unless cheating or some craziness it is not your fault that they're being horrible to you. Your existence triggers them. They want to hurt and harm you because you triggered them. You triggered their shame center. You do something internally to them, make them feel bad about themselves.
🟥 Mental Healness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsKT6fcYQgU

Jun 5

If I'm internally hurting then I externally want to hurt you. I need to get it out of me. I need to relieve myself out of it. So I try to externally hurt you, I need to get rid of this shame. I need to get rid of this hurt, embarrassment, so I try to hurt you. If I am hurting internally, I need to make everybody else feel the same way. That's the way how it goes right there. When I tell you it's not your fault, it's not gonna be on you.
🟥 Mental Healness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsKT6fcYQgU

Jun 5

Narcissistic person wants to destroy you, so that they can build themselves up. Off the remnants of destroying you, off the debris from destroying. If I demolish this big building I can take the bricks and use those bricks to build my foundation, to build myself to feel better. That is what happens with narcissistic people,they take from you, like reverse Robin Hood. They take from emotionally educationally rich for themselves. Narc abuse is not yr fault
🟥 Mental Healness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsKT6fcYQgU

Jun 5

🎭 Opera - I vespri siciliani

Jun 5

🎭 Opera - Ciro in Babilonia

Jun 5

 🎭 Opera Elisabetta, regina d'Inghilterra

Jun 5

There is a book called "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" - which has interesting premise. Why animals which are always target of predatory animals never show symptoms of trauma and toxic stress. The secret is in their ability to never mask their emotions. When zebras are attacked by predators - they run away. They do not mask it by pretending to be macho alpha male stoic CBT confident assertive dudes.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide

Jun 6

🇫🇷 80ème Anniversaire du Débarquement

Jun 6

🇫🇷 D-Day - les commémorations

Jun 6

🇪🇸 Spaniens grüner Norden: Vom Jakobsweg bis zum Ende der Welt

Jun 6

🗑️ LBA Playoff

Jun 7

We encounter moments that test our spirit, stretch our resilience and challenge our very essence. But what if I told you that you possess the ability to face these challenges as if nothing can really hurt you. Imagine unshakable confidence you would embody if you could look at setback and say this will not break me. What if you could act as if you were unbreakable, unshakable not because you weren't hurt, but because you choose not to be governed by pain.
🟥 Oprah Winfrey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3slJuLjzI4

Jun 7

Pain, whether emotional or physical is an inevitable guest in our lives. But how we host this guest, how we interact with it, and how we let it leave us speaks volumes about our resilience. Resilience is not about avoiding the pain or pretending it doesn't exist. It's about embracing it as a part of your journey and using it to grow stronger to forge a version of yourself that is unbreakable. Understanding that resilience is not a gift bestowed upon a lucky few.
🟥 Oprah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3slJuLjzI4

Jun 7

Resilience is a skill, a muscle everyone has capacity to develop. Every challenge is merely a teacher in disguise. Each hardship a lesson waiting to be learned. Sometimes this requires us to act as if are stronger than we feel. This is not denial of our feeling but choosing to focus on strengths we can forge from them. We are not pretending, we are transforming. How can I use those lessons to empower myself and others, what have I learned?As stepping stone
🟥 Oprah Winfrey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3slJuLjzI4

Jun 7

Have you ever wondered how two people can experience the exact same event yet recounted entirely different ways? What makes one person see challenge while other see opportunity. Our perception influences our resilience. You spill your coffee, task pile up – what if I acted as if this was the best thing that could happen to me. Spilled coffee suddenly becomes opportunity to slow down, moment to breathe, reassess your priorities. Busy become fulfilling life
🟥 Oprah Winfrey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3slJuLjzI4

Jun 7

🎭 Opera - Norma

Jun 7

🇦🇹 Confirming her non-conformist spirit, during the trip to Greece, Sissi yes
he even got a tattoo an anchor on the shoulder, which also appears on the
statue of him at the museum of
Vienna waxes.
The fact always remained secret and was discovered only after her death and the following autopsy.

Jun 7

🇫🇷 La Grande Musique

Jun 7

🇧🇪 The Belgium kit features a blue top and brown short and pays tribute to Tintin

Jun 8

Beware ruminating. When we think about the past – it's easy to dwell on it constantly. To always talk about it. To feel the comfort of sympathy but almost become addicted to it to the point it becomes our identity. It looks like My parents, my parents, my parents... Don't let it become your identity. Don't let it be the only thing that is on your mind. Clinical research has already shown there is danger in persistently talking about this over and over.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeTqUYCBrs4

Jun 8

People do what they do according to their nature. Jim Rone story: frog and scorpion. Scorpion ask from to ride on back, if I sting you we would both go under water, why would I do that. Right in the middle, scorpion stings the frog. Why? Scorpion response was: I am scorpion. Some people are scorpions. I don't get mad anymore at rattlesnakes for biting me. Rattlesnakes do what they do according to their nature. Do according to their nature. Forgive enemy.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeTqUYCBrs4

Jun 8

Forgiving does not mean you let the scorpion on your back. But it means you just say scorpions act like scorpions. It means you learn from it. You let it go. Learn from the past and you will be set free. Aristotle said Wisdom is experience plus reflection. All of us have experiences. What are we missing? The reflection. We're so glad to get through the hard time, battle that we just want to bite and eat and nap, we don't want to reflect on it. We don't want to write down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeTqUYCBrs4

 

Jun 8

Festival of toys in my hometown

Jun 8

⚽ Ucraina - Italia

Jun 8

🎯 Tiro con l'arco CDM Yecheon, 2024-06-07, 15-30-30, Rai Sport HD

 

Jun 8

🇮🇹 La grande Opera Italiana patrimonio dell'umanità 2024

 

Jun 8

🇮🇹 La grande Opera Italiana patrimonio dell'umanità 2024

Jun 8

:transgender: Drag Race France

Jun 8

Does my not reacting means I am not ok with it? Radical acceptance done right means that you're no longer surprised. It does not mean you're ok with it. It doesn't mean you aren't hurt. And it doesn't mean you aren't incensed. Means no more surprise but it doesn't mean that it feels good. You're just not surprised by it. You don't get into mud with them, you don't take the bait. Nothing you do can change their behavior. You no longer waste time on changing
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyAuA3q_FHY

Jun 8

You're not accepting their behavior. You're accepting it won't change. That's what radical acceptance is. Narcissistic person's behavior persists as always and sometimes other people who may not have spied it before because you were running interference, now see it. They may wonder why you put up with their behavior and frankly you don't owe anyone explanation. But simple explanation – narc person is responsible for their behavior. Take it up with them
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyAuA3q_FHY

 Jun 8

For a long time your hard work, you acting as a human shield have blocked everyone else seeing their narcissistic behavior. If people see it, let them deal with it. The idea that you don't make narcissistic person accountable you're just going with it, they are getting away with it, is not true. How it worked when you tried to make them accountable? Whether you go along, say nothing, say something – it's all the same. There is no point. You're not enabling
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyAuA3q_FHY

 Jun 8

Enabling would be if you were saying that their behavior is not a problem, it's perfectly fine and stop talking about it. That's not what you're doing. You inaction is action of some sort. It's pulling your psychological energy out. Divestment. That's not your responsibility. You are not partly to blame because you don't stop them, because you couldn't leave. The narcissistic person is responsible for their behavior. Nobody else. You tried to understand it
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyAuA3q_FHY

Jun 8

I have to solve these problems for myself, Mr. Reed.
- Alright, but you do understand that whoever did that to you needs help. That's psychopathic person.
🎞️ Jennifer (1978)

Jun 9

It's easy to go through life making decisions based on what people will think. “How will this make me look?” “Will this be impressive”. “Will this gain me more followers”. “Will they approve me”. When we live image-driven we can't be real, we can't be authentic. We have to hide this weakness or they may think less of us. We have to play up to this person to stay in their favor. We have to drive this, wear this, be seen with these people.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p81qUS0y5k

Jun 9

We spend so much energy protecting this image we've created. And there is nothing wrong with looking good, being successful, carrying yourself with confidence. That's all healthy. But where it crosses the line is when you become driven by your image. You run everything through the filter, of how it's going to make you look. “To look better than others”. The issue was their motives. They were doing it all to be seen, to impress people.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p81qUS0y5k

Jun 9

The problem with living image-driven, it will wear you out. The pressure of trying to keep up with people, impress your friends, look better than your neighbor, hide how you feel, act like everything's ok when it's not. That's not sustainable. The reason why some people are so stressed, run down, is they have their image on the throne. They're doing everything to protect how they're seen. But you need to take your image of the throne.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p81qUS0y5k

Jun 9

You don't have to keep up with your friends. If they only accept you if you perform to their standards, they're not true friends. There's such a freedom when you can be real, be vulnerable, not worry about what other people think. That's a treadmill that never stops. It's a sure way to drain your energy, stifle your creativity, steal your joy.  It takes humility to take your image of the throne. To not worry about what people think. Not live to impress.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p81qUS0y5k

Jun 9

🏉 PRO D2

Jun 9

🏉 PRO D2 Vannes - Grenoble

 Jun 9

🏉 PRO D2 Vannes - Grenoble

Jun 9

🏉 Rugby Club

Jun 9

🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-06-08, 21-06-13, C8

 Jun 9

🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-06-08, 22-21-02, C8

Jun 9

🇵🇹  Madeira

Jun 9

🇵🇹  Madeira

Jun 9

🇵🇹  Madeira

Jun 9

🎭 Opera - La Porta Divisoria

Jun 10

🏝️ Wild beauty – Islands in the Atlantic

Jun 10

🇮🇸 Inselträume: Island - Hotspot des Nordens

Jun 10

🏈 ran FOOTBALL

Jun 10

The Last Taboo deals with the topic of homosexuality in professional football. The film tells the personal stories of less than ten openly homosexual professional footballers out of 500,000 active male players worldwide.

Jun 10

🗑️ Basket-ball - Betclic Elite, 2024-06-09, 18-43-50, L'Equipe

Jun 10

🇮🇹 Atletica. Europei Roma- 3a giornata sess, 2024-06-09, 20-43-04, Rai Sport HD

Jun 10

🗑️ Pallacanestro. Serie A2 maschile- Finale, 2024-06-09, 21-04-34, Rai Sport HD

Jun 10

After Kelly realized that Reynolds would usually have (very justified) crying jags every time he screamed at her, he came up with a more diabolical plan. He used O'Connor instead as his "whipping boy," displacing his anger towards Reynolds by giving O'Connor a boatload of rage instead.
https://www.factinate.com/people/facts-don

Jun 10

This was additionally confusing for Reynolds as up to this point Kelly “criticised everything I did” on-set, compounding her already present self doubt that she could not pull off her role.

She explained: “I had three months to learn what Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor had been doing for years."

The actress admitted that Kelly’s harsh rehearsals had “transformed an untrained high school girl into a dancer”.
https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/1

Jun 11

If we say everybody's got certain amount of trait narcissism that's the same thing as saying everybody's abusive. They're different things. Somebody high in trait narcissism is likely to be quite annoying, selfish and exploitative. But really the measure shouldn't be narcissism, it should be respect, kindness, openness, down to earth person, aren't walking with their nose in the air.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6SoimbAHoY

Jun 11

⚽  Italia - Panama, 2024-06-10, 18-30-40, Rai 2 HD

 

Jun 11

None of these is recipe for success and happiness and fulfillment. If you Fight, eventually you will go to jail. If you Flight, long enough timeline you'll end up with nothing. If you Fawn, you can have success and things, external trappings but you'll feel nothing because you're never doing it for you. Feeling no satiation from it, it's always for the other. Freezing, end up house bound. Walls become smaller and smaller,like anxiety, strong safety drive
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKZtdT7GPsE

Jun 11

If we reduce emotional flashbacks, you won't be in fight or flight mode, problem is people stay in abusive relationships. Or go back to them. That's the problem. You won't freeze if you are not going into an emotional flashback. When you're not flashbacking you won't stay in abusive relationships.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKZtdT7GPsE

Jun 11

🏅 Athlétisme - Championnats d'Europe, 2024-06-10, 20-30-20, France 3

Jun 11

When something happens over and over again across time and across multiple contexts this is called conditioning. If you are suffering from mental health issues that means you're conditioned to do something over and over again by pain. By fear, by unpleasant things occurring. ACE, shitty childhood over time conditioned me to have a certain set of responses that were maladaptive: anger, social anxiety, fawning, codependent relationship. Conditioned into it
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmimkv3cKdw

Jun 11

🏅 Athlétisme - Championnats d'Europe, 2024-06-10, 22-21-43, France 3

 Jun 11

🏅 Athlétisme - Championnats d'Europe, 2024-06-10, 22-21-43, France 3

Jun 11

 🏅 Athlétisme - Championnats d'Europe, 2024-06-10, 22-21-43, France 3

Jun 11

Create space between trigger and response that is key to healing. Even if the space if half of second.  That's not you. Don't be response. You're not your anxiety. You are not your rage. You are not your sadness. These are flashbacks, you have trauma, you are in CPTSD mode. Messed up by frightening situations that were outside of your control. Heaping guilt and shame on that and judging yourself or other people judging is not going to help. Accept it now
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmimkv3cKdw

Jun 11

🇳🇵 Nepal

Jun 11

🇳🇵 Nepal

Jun 11

🏅 Athlétisme - Championnats d'Europe, 2024-06-11, 10-40-41, France 3

Jun 11

I want to be charge in my life. I want to have strong boundaries. I want to be moving in the direction that I choose. Not that other people choose, or that my mental health issues choose. You want to be welcoming your feelings, open to the emotions and look at them. How to process them. More bleaker emotions knock on your door, allow them to come in, let them express themselves and they'll leave. They're messengers. That's how emotions work. Self care.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmimkv3cKdw

Jun 11

I am not my flashbacks. I am my own self. It is your body, it is your brain, it is your life, it is your attention. Nobody can take it from you. Remind yourself of that – I am my own self.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmimkv3cKdw

 Jun 11

Color wheel of emotions
https://www.avanmuijen.com/watercolor-emotion-wheel

Jun 11

I was blown away by the simplicity of the idea that I don't protect myself because my parents didn't protect me.

Jun 12

Intense pain of narcissistic abuse victim syndrome – if your life is living misery. You cannot do anything, you can't motivate yourself, you can't make decisions, when you make decisions they're wrong ones, your physical health is suffering, mental health suffering, emotional health suffering, your interpersonal relationship suffering, then that is actual emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of someone with NPD, dark triad.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gytUdLbsX_c

Jun 12

NPD introject- they now live inside of you. You are colonized, infected. And then there is authentic self. And the battle that they have. “Why don't you send them message” “She wasn't abusive, she had a lot of problems in childhood, you miss her” devil on your shoulder whispering to get you do things you were not suppose to do. This drives people insane. There are minimum two parts of selves in battle. NPD introject in you trying to make you do dumb $hit
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gytUdLbsX_c

Jun 12

So I go to therapy to treat my CPTSD, get a little bit better. Less anxious, more confident. Who is getting better? Is it my authentic self or is it my NPD. It is introject, it is powerful – it is not all powerful. You have allowed that introject because you mirrored them in order to survive. Where were you? What is the lack in you that leads you to take on a bait. They bait you. Get you into covert contract. You trade your sovereignty for shared fantasy
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gytUdLbsX_c

Jun 13

Became aware that whatever you're feeling in your mind is perfection and it's beautiful and it's utopia,it's place of comfort and excitement. If you want to connect with people which we all need, we have to do it with bringing who we are to the outside. And not hiding it because it's weird or uncomfortable or triggering. You have to believe it that you are special and smart and bring it out, it will make sense at some point. Not waiting for other people to get it
🟥 Wenzes
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ugt1SCGPOE4

Jun 13

You are being a version of yourself that isn't even fun for you – because if it was you wouldn't have had to shapeshift and put so much effort into it. After that effort initial dopamine of validation, I am left by friendship that is superboring for me, draining, when I try to get out of the box with that person they don't receive it well, I feel rejected. Instead of setting energy this is what I like to be – I don't want to hang with these people anymore
🟥 Making Friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elnFaAQhD2Y

Jun 13

🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 5a giornata sess, 2024-06-11, 19-02-53, Rai Sport HD

Jun 13

🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 5a giornata sess, 2024-06-11, 19-02-53, Rai Sport HD

Jun 13

🏅 Roma 2024, 2024-06-11, 21-05-49, Rai 2 HD

Jun 13

This is manic response to insane situation.
- We have to change the narrative. I'm not marrying him forever. It's just for a month, few months.
🎞️ Marry Me (2022)

Jun 13

I forgot the lyrics on live tv, to a song that I wrote.
- It can happen to anybody.
- Point is that once it does, you are always worried. What if it happens again.
- What did you do?
- I shifted focus. I made my dance so hard that all I could to is to concentrate on the steps. Like distracting your mind. Concentrating on dance steps made me forget how scared I was.
🎞️ Marry Me (2022)

Jun 14

Just remember you might be paranoid that potentially in situations of high conflict is a positive adaptation, in high conflict and low resources environment. You can't stop them, you can't consent out of the window and message is negative and your whole body and brain wants to resist the negative messaging you're not good enough, there's something wrong with you, you're stupid – but evolutionary you are wired to listen.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

This is why a narcissist's voice is always going to have so much power than a life coach or mentor, or therapist, spiritual guide: like you should just love yourself, respect yourself, take time out, be tranquil, meditate, embrace peace. All great – but from evolutionary level these are optionally messages. There is also something inside us evolutionary message: listen to tyrants, pathological leaders. To be told what to want. Massive impact voice.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

Secure love provides protection against many of the world's psychological dangers. It makes people more likely to admit their mistake and apologize for them, and feel freer to share who they are. They've learned... that the people who love them can be trusted to accept them, flaws and all. That's what secure love is: the faith that we can safely depend on other people.
🟦 Dr Craig Malkin

Jun 14

If you are dealing with a narcissist, he is not capable of caring about you the way you care about him. And he doesn't want what you want. You want to be intimate with another human being. Pleasure for you is human. But for the reptiles sex is masturbation, way to experience orgasm and it's better with another human body. Priority is pleasure for the reptiles. For humans it would be intimacy of being with human being who care about.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

Narcissists thrive on your self-blame.
Reckless friends need caretakers.
Insensitive partners prefer your emotional silence.
Coping is connection.
Some people need you to stay the same; some people will love the new you. Be mindful of the difference.
🟦 Dr Craig Malkin

Jun 14

You should do what they say because that's your mother, father. For the time being. But you don't have to listen to everything that they tell you is true non-critically. You can weigh it for yourself without getting into arguments with them. And you can consider whether you believe it is true or not. Some of the things that they're going to tell you about you/me, about how the world works are not right. Feel it, reject it without saying anything to them.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

If you've been in abusive relationship, you've been entrained hourly, daily, weekly, monthly to think like this about yourself and about reality. You've now got to counter that conditioning in the other direction, you've got to be pretty disciplined. You can't be passive. It's like strength training, skill training, like Martial arts training, Kung-Fu. You don't want – do it anyway, you are building skill. To see introject is level 1. Now resist it.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

You can't just see and resist it, you have to change the introject. Process is tough and be disciplined. There's an enormous stress that's placed on human system by the cognitive dissonance of the split introjects. You have two voices from inside of your head fighting for dominance – one is narcissist's reality fantasy, and other is you, fighting for your survival space reality. It can make you physically sick: auto-immune issues, allergies...
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

You would be better off if you had, you would survive it better if you did develop NPD, that you did lose your empathy. So you keep your empathy but you mirror, a sort of narcissism-light, in order to survive with them. So you become more competitive than you would otherwise have been. And it's not personality disorder. It's childish, it's infantile, it's silly. On her terms, about stuff that I actually didn't care about. I was mirroring her,narc fragile
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

I never had such dementedly petty thinking in my life as to agonize. That's her co-ordinates. It was crucially important to her and she started to do narcissistic injury to me, and because I was entrained into mirroring her, it worked. My line of reasoning don't work like that, I am not insecure, I do not worry about how I look. You've been tricked , switched into a) carrying what he thinks b) carrying about this thing being stupid or intelligent.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

I was like, where these thoughts are coming from, like who's thinking, what am I doing. Now she's going to determine how I live my life? I've never been that person who would rate their value by how many partners they had. I was worried about it, I was thinking about it, you experienced the same think. You have been tricked into worrying about something that isn't yours. It's his. He is worrying about being stupid. He's the one insecure. introject firing
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7qadu6zCo

Jun 14

No one creates a false self, narcissistic or otherwise, if they feel securely loved.
🟦 Dr Craig Malkin

Jun 14

Before you start to heal strange life decisions after narcissist, the key to remember you must start saying no. The narcissist is giving you their version of reality. And if you are not strong enough to say to them No, that's not true, you can at least start saying to yourself. You have to fight back against their indoctrination, their propaganda, their continuous lying, their continuous brainwashing even it it's only internally.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84U9Fnk2WcE

Jun 14

Where you look at them, and they say something to you, that you know it's not true, they're being abusive where you can at least look away and internally say that is not true. Once you get strong enough you can start saying to them No. That's not true. We're not doing that. I am not agree with you. I deny this. If you want to get better, this is the starting point. Learn to say No. A boundary is always a no.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84U9Fnk2WcE

Jun 14

A boundary is always no. And a boundary is not a boundary just through you saying no. There has to be consequence to the no. It can't just be no, and nothing happens. It has to be – if you keep doing this, then there is a negative consequence. Like I will leave you. Which you should. It does not matter of the person has narcissism or psychopathy or borderline, or histrionic PD. High stake relationship, family, employer. It won't get better if consistent.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84U9Fnk2WcE

 

Jun 14

No revenge. But you can cause them to be of zero significance. This is the best outcome you can hope for – they just cease to be of relevance.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84U9Fnk2WcE

Jun 14

Everybody has the right to be
Wrong at least once
Everybody has the right to be dunce-like
Once-like
Not being too smart is, is no disgrace
What sets you apart is smilin'
With egg on your face
🎵 Frank Sinatra - Everybody Has The Right To Be Wrong (At Least Once)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_Ogrhukmm0

Jun 14

🗑️ LBA Playoff (live), 2024-06-13, 20-32-46, NOVE

 

Jun 14

:transgender: Drag Race France - une seule sera la reine

Jun 15

🎵 Moonlight in Vermont · Robert Maxwell (1966)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akc9uGxB3H

Jun 15

🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 6a giornata sess, 2024-06-12, 20-31-14, Rai Sport HD test HEVC

 Jun 15

🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 6a giornata sess, 2024-06-12, 20-31-14, Rai Sport HD test HEVC

Jun 15

The pain you feel today, will be the strength of tomorrow
🏅 Julian Weber

Jun 15

🇬🇧 2024 Trooping the Colour

Jun 15

You go by yourself Charlie, because I don't like you anymore. See, eventually you would come to end of money, but I would have gone on forever.
🎞️ The Sound and the Fury (1959)

 Jun 15

But the big important thing is I need somebody. I gotta find some love for myself somewhere. I won't run away at night, and I won't even bother to tell lies 'cause I've decided that's not dignified. But I'll keep on lookin'. I'll never stop lookin' 'cause that's what my life is all about. I'm a grown woman, Jason, and I need what any grown woman needs. And that's respect and affection, in case you don't know.
🎞️ The Sound and the Fury (1959)

Jun 16

🏊‍♂️ Open water swimming

 

Jun 16

🇮🇹 Domenico Acerenza

Jun 16

One of the seven things that Scripture says that got hates is someone who sows discords. Someone who is always stirring things up. Bringing division, saying things they know are going to cause strife, jealousy, damage to reputation. Hate is a strong word. Could say that God dislikes it, God encourages us not to do it. But God does not take this lightly. You can't slander people and be blessed. You can't disfavor someone and seek favor.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

I want to be the sunlight of the century
I want to be a vestige of our senses free
🎵 Jessica Pratt - World on a String
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRUs349g-Y

Jun 16

“What I'm saying is all true. I'm not making it up”. But do you need to repeat it? Is it necessary? Is it benefiting anything? Or is it just putting them in a bad light? “Have you heard a word against your neighbor? Then let it die within you”. This is saying, have you heard some gossip, read something juicy, inside information about someone failed. Don't expose them, keep it to yourself. It shows do you show mercy. Small people feed of others mistakes.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

People that you live with, the people god's connected you to, they're going to make mistakes. They're going to say things that they shouldn't. Do things that can bring embarrassment. It's tempting to be “Look what they've done”, no – that's your family. In tough times they need you, not your judgment, they don't need more guilt, condemnation, they know what they've done wrong. They need someone that will show mercy. Bigger person. Be healer, lifter.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

Juicy things we hear about co-workers. There may be a small truth to it, but it slain to make person look bad. It's taken out of context. The negative is magnified. That's how rumors get started. Now there are 3 different versions. By the time it gets to us it's a fraction of the truth. Don't believe everything that you hear. Don't go around repeating things you're not sure or accurate. Many people are busybodies. They live to stir things up. Noisy.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

🎵 The Red Blouse · Antonio Carlos Jobim (1967)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1PMeosHdf

Jun 16

With all the ways to communicate these days, with all the chatter, social media, his co-worker says this, my friend says that, my neighbor told me this, maybe we're judging things prematurely. Maybe we're finding faults without knowing the details. Even if it is true, where is the mercy? Where is the grace to give people room to make mistakes? To not be perfect. Maybe God is dealing with them, maybe they'll make better decisions. Be part of solution, not problem
✝️  OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

You will find your mind when you reach the other side, get on the other side
You won’t be the same when you get on the other side, get on the other side
🎵 Bobby Oroza - The Otherside (2022)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddhCw84vGTQ

 Jun 16
How many times are we judging people without knowing the motives? Without knowing the challenges, how they were raised, what they're dealing with. If we walked in their shoes, most of the time we would have more understanding. More compassionate. It's easy to be critical, find fault, stir up the negative, that's being a crow. You're an eagle. Let's be people full of mercy, even when they are wrong we cover fault. Mind your business. Enough drama in my life.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

It's tempting to be critical, judgmental, but maybe there's something you don't understand. Maybe those limousines are not what you think. Maybe wearing the same suit he has the good reason. Don't be hindrance, starting cutting them down, be a help. Use your words to bless, to speak victory. Let people run their own life. If we're noisy, busybodies, we end up critical. Finding fault. Saying things to put people down. No, run your race.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1PH6eUw9k

Jun 16

If you live trying to protect your image, keep everyone happy, hoping they'll understand, then you're going to be frustrated. Life happens to us all. You don't have to explain yourself to everyone. You don't have to convince people to try to be for you. They ones that are judgmental, won't show you any mercy. You can be sure, they have issues, too. They have things dealing with that they're not telling you about.
✝️ Take Off The Mask | Joel Osteen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCeAxlrhMrg

 Jun 16

There's no shame in being open and honest. The enemy would love for us all to hide behind masks, go around pretending, acting like we're perfect. Making sure nobody sees our flaws, projecting this image that we can't live up to. How many people are living for this image? This is who I want you to see me as: someone greater, smarter, prettier, more popular: when the truth is who God made you to be is the best you. Don't need to pretend.
✝️ Take Off The Mask | Joel Osteen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCeAxlrhMrg

Jun 16

⚽ Téléfoot. 'Téléfoot 24'..., 2024-06-16, 11-02-37, TF1

 

Jun 16

⚽ Téléfoot. 'Téléfoot 24'..., 2024-06-16, 11-02-37, TF1

Jun 16

🏉 Rugby locker room

Jun 16

⚓Titanic

Jun 16

🏐 Beach Volley. C.to Italiano Gold Caorle-, 2024-06-16, 16-55-36, Rai Sport HD

Jun 16

🩰 Le Rouge et le Noir

Jun 16

🎭 La Fanciulla del West

Jun 17

How do you deal with thoughts that make sense? It's not simply feeling anxious and exposing myself to the feeling.

Jun 17

To survive hierarchy environment, socially anxious individuals would have been better at detecting threats against their place in hierarchy. Because social anxiety would serve as a kind of warning signal, when they're at risk of being excluded. In this way social anxiety is a highly useful tool that helps us to integrate better into society. However when it starts to interfere with the life you want to live it becomes a problem
🟥 Social Anxiety | Mari Kato | TEDxBIS Youth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fchZlZrTIMw

Jun 17

Sometimes depression is not clear cut. Somebody may be coming in depressed because they have anxieties. And their anxiety may be the thing causing them to be depressed. And we try to treat depression and it doesn't improve. Because we haven't dealt with the root cause.
🟥 DrJamesGill
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S_sAeWXgecg

Jun 17

You are not the problem. You're misinterpreting strengths for weaknesses

Jun 17

"Be friendly, not friends" is my motto!

Jun 17

You dehumanize, aka put on a pedestal people who you like. Once you stop thinking about people as potential partners, or hell even friends, you're free to see their flaws. You no longer fumble of f**k up, the conversation flows naturally.
This is why I had no social anxiety when talking to old people or kids.

Jun 17

It was easier for me to overcome social anxiety when I started treating people, everyone, as a human being. And I just genuinely started to have conversations, genuine conversations. Where it was just like introduce yourself, see what you are doing or how they are doing, what they're up to in their life. And from there you let the other person speak, bring authentic questions.
🟥 Apollos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsSECRClYrs

 

Jun 17

🏈 European League Football

Jun 17

🇲🇶 Martinique, 🇱🇨 Sainte-Lucie, 🇩🇲 Dominique

Jun 17

🇲🇶 Martinique, 🇱🇨 Sainte-Lucie, 🇩🇲 Dominique

Jun 17

🇲🇶 Martinique, 🇱🇨 Sainte-Lucie, 🇩🇲 Dominique

Jun 17

🇧🇹 Bhutan

Jun 17

🇧🇹 Bhutan

Jun 17

🔖 An acquired taste is an appreciation for something unlikely to be enjoyed by a person who has not had substantial exposure to it. It is the opposite of innate taste, which is the appreciation for things that are enjoyable by most people without prior exposure to them.

 Jun 18

What is introject guiding me towards. Now I introjected NPD. What are they leading me towards? They're leading me to self-destruction, they're leading me towards isolation, they're leading me towards my former negative coping strategies, it's like shadow activation going on. That intention is very destructive, it's beyond a mere negative voice. You mirrored narc behavior – it's not big deal because you don't have NPD. You do have empathy. Will to heal
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dRU_3l0MnU

Jun 18

Narcissists were never trained to manage their emotions very well. They have distorted reasoning. They don't have mind over emotions, they have emotion over mind. And as result, they're not easy to engage with. As you see all that pathology that they probably carried for a very long time, despite that they become masters of rationalizations. When you sit down with this person to discuss they can flip it around they're good person in this. Justify.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYXPEuzsefM

Jun 18

People of less power in society are more likely who need to perceive these cues and threats to stay safe. There are myriad of little cues people give us. Those cues even if they're little ones, they matter. When we meet someone who is seemingly together paper, that they tick the box what is socially valued. Because then we may let down our guards and that's the danger. We have to trust how we feel. How we are treated. If it feels off, pay attention.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V9p7t0DEV0

Jun 18

🎭 Opera - La damnation de Faust

Jun 18

🎭 Opera - La damnation de Faust

Jun 19

You want to upset an honest person, lie to them. You want to upset a narcissist, tell them the truth.

Jun 19

🩰 “Mythologies” : de Persée à Icare, le ballet poignant de Preljocaj sur l’étonnante partition de Thomas Bangalter

 

 

Jun 19

People who are academic or ultra successful, they are the ones who are actually the most resistant to the ideas around the asymmetries, the one-sidedness, and the un-fixability that we often observe in narcissistic relationships. Smart people are often the last ones to be convinced that narcissistic relationships don't change, can't change. As though it is too simplistic to believe that it's just that. It feels defeatist that narcs cannot change.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HV4YhGbXz0

 Jun 19

🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 2a giornata, 2024-06-19, 11-37-02, Rai Sport HD

Jun 19

🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 2a giornata, 2024-06-19, 11-37-02, Rai Sport HD

Jun 19

 🏅 Atletica. Europei Roma- 2a giornata, 2024-06-19, 11-37-02, Rai Sport HD

 

 

Jun 20

A key concept I learned from Ecker and Hulley was that every presenting symptom exists for some important reason. Those reasons are often outside of one's conscious awareness which is why clients come to therapy not understanding why their symptoms are so persistent. The task of therapist is to discover what it is in this client's internal world of meaning in the logic of this client's unconscious mind that makes sense of the presenting symptom.
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

Jun 20

In a symptom deprivation the therapist prompts a client to imagine a vivid realistic life situation in which the symptom would normally occur. Then invites the client to imagine this same situation with the symptom absent from the picture. In other words, the client is temporarily deprived of the symptom. Think of this as symptom removal. Imagine a scenario in which the symptom would usually be present but with symptom removed from the experience.
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

 Jun 20

One might think that removing the symptoms would cause the client to feel nothing but relief. But what we discover time and again – client actually displays signs of discomfort or distress. Sometimes these are overt and obvious – raising hands in protective stance. More often we look at subtler signals: tiniest pause in speech, tightening of throat, tensing of jaw or tapping. These signals reveal that symptom actually serve a very important purpose.
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

Jun 20

The presence of painful symptom allows client to remain unaware of some even worse suffering that she's been unconsciously motivated to avoid even more than the symptom itself.  Ecker and Hulley refer to this as the two sufferings. The first suffering is the symptom that brings client into therapy whether it's anxiety, depression, anger, low self worth. Client consciously aware of. The task of experiential therapist is to help client discover deeper suffering.
🟥 Coherence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

Jun 20

Therapist prompts client to picture herself at party – normally she'd keep to herself but the therapist has her imagine that she overhears a topic she really knows about. Picture herself joining the conversation in engaged way. Exactly how she wants to be at parties. She become aware of intense feeling of vulnerability and a sense of shame washes over her. As she sits with feelings, painful memory comes to mind, expressing naturally would ridicule her.
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

Jun 20

In response of herself not disappearing at a party, she becomes aware that even though she surrounded herself in her current day life with people who are very different than her brother and the neighborhood kids, there's a part of her to this day that stills expects humiliation if she expresses herself or allows herself to be too visible in a group. For this part of her staying somewhat removed, and wallflower role is the logical solution how to stay safe.
🟥 Coherence Th.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

 Jun 20

Symptom deprivation is not as simple as just telling the client to imagine life without symptoms. When therapists try this technique with their clients for the first time their instinct is often to say something like can you imagine what it would be like not to be depressed, or without losing control. Problem is you ask client to imagine something she's never experienced before, therefore can't really conceive of.
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

 Jun 20

If someone always felt anxious in social situations and you prompt her imagine yourself not feeling anxious at the company party – you're likely get blank response. Avoid trap – avoid using Not in our prompts. Milton Erickson, master therapeutic hypnotist: unconscious mind can't hear word Not. Make sure you always use positive framing. Describe what we do want her to experience. The goal is to paint such a clear picture – even if it's experience she never had.
🟥 Coherence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

Jun 20

Imagining without anxiety might cause client to draw a blank, up to her head – in an effort to conceptualize what not-anxious might be like. That's counterproductive in experiential work. Where our whole goal is to get the client out of her cognitive mind – so she can get in touch knowings that are held in her emotional brain and in the body.
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlw7NaVV7sM

Jun 20

The symptom is her way of carrying out that purpose. It's her way of avoiding some very uncomfortable unwelcome fear of outcome. Pivot into Agency. Client come to us feeling powerless.  Symptom being overwhelming, having no agency. This is replaced with realization that she has her own agency in generating and maintaining this symptom. Compulsive eating is solution to problem. Much deeper problem than snacks: I am all alone, nobody cares. Eating =care
🟥 Coherence Therapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KpwvTWv3rY

 Jun 22
You want to let Douglas stay for a while?
- I suggested it to Hope so that Douglas feels heard. I don't want him to feel rejected or unwanted.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

 Jun 22

Experiential – bottom-up – we're allowing the mind using techniques, presence and mindfulness, and creating safety so that mind can speak for itself. Not being analyzed. I don't mean the whole mind. But parts of the mind that don't have as much voice typically. Subcortical. Deeper parts of brain and mind. They're not as readily conscious and they're not based on logic. Our culture likes logic. Our mind has lot that we are not conscious of.
🟥 Tori Olds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3M54ScaVLE

 Jun 22

The lower parts of brain, the more implicit emotional learning systems are associational. Our lower brain is just tracking what tends to come together in space and time. When this happens I can expect this next because it happened before. And therefore I should do this. Idea of being conditioned – like mouse hears a bell and then gets the shock. It's like our predictive models. Based on unconscious statistical analysis. Probability based on past experiences.
🟥 Tori Olds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3M54ScaVLE

Jun 22

My emotion is now paired with an association I'll be overwhelmed. “Anger makes me a bad person” or “It means I'll be rageholic like my dad”. We begin to get these associations to ourselves, to parts of ourselves, to other people. We learn other person is dangerous. Certain behaviors can become dangerous. We have really have trouble when something healthy or good gets associated to badness or danger. Like our core attachment needs, set boundaries.
🟥 Tori Olds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3M54ScaVLE

 Jun 22

🎵 R. Stevie Moore -
Here comes summer again (1977)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USfZLNEstSY

Jun 22

IFS and Coherence therapy look how this symptom actually makes sense. Instead of just how we correct it, how do we solve it and stop it. People can come in so confused by why they're doing what they're doing. On the surface it seems kind of bad. It's easy to think – it's a character flaw. Or it's something to be ashamed of, or embarrassed of, or we're just not trying hard enough, or we're not doing our best. Truth is we're always doing our best.
🟥 Tori Olds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3M54ScaVLE

Jun 22

We get good at just shutting down and shutting off different parts of ourselves. One of main ways we do adapt is by becoming less conscious of things – that's why we're trying to do mindfulness all the time. If we didn't have dramas we probably would just naturally be mindful. Deep down what I am really predicting here? What am I associating, what do I really emotionally seem to know about this? Got wired in template I am broken, I am too much. Bottom up.
🟥 Tori Olds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3M54ScaVLE

Jun 22

🎵 Who Needs Forever? · Astrud Gilberto · Quincy Jones (1966)

Jun 22

Mamma, aren't you going to ask what happened to us?
- In Italy I would ask. In America I have learned parents should be seen but not heard.
🎞️ Blindfold (1966)

Jun 22

🏉 Rugby locker room

Jun 22

🇦🇹 Carinthia

Jun 22

🇦🇹 Carinthia

 Jun 23

How could I ever completely trust you the way a man is supposed to trust his wife? Ever forget what happened to Zende. It can happen with anyone else. The games you were playing I can't forget that. I can't live with that doubt.
🎞️ Bold and the Beautiful - 2021 (S34 E110)

Jun 24

🇫🇷 Corsica

Jun 24

🇫🇷 Corsica

Jun 24

🇪🇸 Costa Dorada

Jun 24

Selective honesty is what a lot of narcissistic people use at the beginning of relationships. Because some of the will tell you the bad stuff that they've done to other people, in order to get you trust them. “I didn't have to tell you so you should trust me more”. That's the tactic.
🟥 Mental Healness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_TvlSck1J0

Jun 24

The Rain Forests of the mazon are disappearing at the rate of 5,000 Acres per day. Four million Indians once lived there. 120,00 remain.
A few tribes have never had contact with the outside world. They still know what we have forgotten.
🎞️ The Emerald Forest (1985)

Jun 25

Jun 26

When you have toxic shame you're not just ashamed of something you've done or something that's been done to you. But you become ashamed of yourself. And when you're ashamed of yourself it just poisons everything else in your life. God wants you to love yourself.
🟥 Do you have toxic shame? There's a simple solution | Joyce Meyer
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/dgxJ-s-qfBA

Jun 26

We can grow up to not have a sense of self. We don't know who we are. It's not safe to develop sense of self because we constantly have to scan the horizon, and be other oriented, make sure everyone else is ok. We can be parentified, taking physical or emotional tasks because parents are not emotionally mature. We form our sense of self I need to help. My worth tied to fixing other people. Not know my identity outside of that.
🟥 Impact of growing up in a toxic family unit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oM1qhFSyr0

Jun 26

When children are abused or mistreated they don't grow up hating their parents, they grow up hating themselves. This is what we do as survivors of relational trauma, because that's what growing up in a narcissistic or dysfunction or toxic family household can be. In order to make sense of chaos, we take the blame on ourselves on our shoulders. My parent is abusing me, my parent is mistreating me, it must be my fault. I am bad, unworthy.
🟥 Mary Toolan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oM1qhFSyr0

Jun 26

My parents simply doesn't have capacity to love, they do not have those skills and resources within to be a good parent. But as children we don't know that. So we take the blame on ourselves, leading to guilt, and shame, feeling we are bad, we are faulty, it's our problem, it's our fault. It is belief because no human is inherently bad, born bad.  Bringing awareness that these are learned beliefs, we were conditioned with, programmed into us. We took these
🟥 Mary Toolan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oM1qhFSyr0

Jun 26

Learn healthier ways of being and moving through the world – that starts with getting to know ourselves, beginning to develop a sense of self, who are we. Outside of programming and conditioning that has been layered onto us and that which we thought is our sense of self. How do we discover who we are, our likes, dislikes, our wants our dreams, our goals, passion, purpose. Give ourselves what we never got instead of waiting. Listen to our feelings.
🟥 Mary Toolan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oM1qhFSyr0

Jun 26

Over time the hypervigilance and the sense that making a mistake even a small mistake, can feel almost catastrophic in a narcissistic relationship. Especially when the child is trying to learn something and the parent is so quick with that gotcha. It leaves child feeling as though they are never enough. We all make mistakes, they need to be pointed out especially in work places. But there is difference in pointing mistake respectfully and gotcha.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc6lAXzlA-0

Jun 26

- Anything you don't now, you can learn
- You no longer need to endure anything
- Let your body be your barometer
- Be truthful about how you feel
- If something doesn't sit right: pause

Jun 26

⚽ Football - EURO. 'France -..., 2024-06-25, 17-58-16, TF1

Jun 27

How you spot a narcissist? You may notice a loss of self and agency over your decisions. A state of mental lethargy. And a constant feeling on being on edge. In their presence you can't fully relax &just be yourself. Making you physically tense and impairing cognitive function. In Karpman Drama Triangle they try to convince you that you are distorted version of yourself, one that fits their narrative. If you're not thinking critically- easy to believe them
🟥 Josh Campbell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfbQbrkI7tc

Jun 27

Doris Day in 1941

Jun 28

Just disagree with them, watch their emotions become so disregulated they're going to try to control you – not the conversation – you. All codependents do this, they're  argumentative, they debate, challenge, make excuses, deny, defend, deflect, attack, darvo. Just by simple disagreement. When you present facts and evidence these people present emotions, feelings, beliefs, opinions. That's how you know you deal with toxic person, you're abusive.
🟥 theforensicbadass
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sguDmbp4Kso

Jun 28

You tube now has option to suggest subtitles correction:

 Jun 28

Look at who sent you here. Because often the people who come to therapy are the people who coming to therapy – because people who should be in therapy are not coming to therapy.
🟥 Lori Gottlieb - Unproductive vs. Productive Anxiety Post-Presidential Debate | The Daily Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb6YSYaQPJg

Jun 28

There is productive and unproductive anxiety. If you didn't have anxiety, you wouldn't be able to be safe. That's why we have anxiety. There's a bear – you better have anxiety. Unproductive anxiety is: I'm just going to stand here. Productive anxiety is I'm going to do something about this. The thing you want to do is you want to say What can I control here, and that's where you take your anxiety, motivate me to do something productive.
🟥 Lori Gottlieb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb6YSYaQPJg

Jun 28

🔭 Pluto

Jun 29

🇩🇪 Ralf König

Jun 29

doublethink
- the acceptance of contrary opinions or beliefs at the same time, especially as a result of political indoctrination.

Jun 29

banality of evil

Jun 29

Inspiration for Gigi D'Agostino "Passion"
🎵 Jacno - Rectangle (1979)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QJH3wzcQ54

Jun 29

🏉 Rugby locker room

Jun 29

🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-06-28, 21-11-40, France 2

Jun 29

🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-06-28, 21-11-40, France 2

 

Jun 29

🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-06-28, 22-08-48, France 2

 

Jun 29

🏉 Rugby Coupe de monde U20 🇫🇷 - 🇪🇸

Jun 29

🏉 Rugby Coupe de monde U20 🇫🇷 - 🇪🇸

Jun 29

🏐 Volley-ball - Ligue des nations masculine, 2024-06-28, 17-49-03, L'Equipe

Jun 30

🇮🇪 Lough Derg

Jun 30

One of the biggest challenges we face is getting along with people. Because everyone is different. We have different personalities, different temperaments, we come from different backgrounds. When somebody doesn't agree with us, they do something we don't like, it's easy to get in conflict with them. Argue, trying to prove our point, straighten out. We allowed strife in. Strife is spirit just like peace is spirit. You can feel tension in the room.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOgoyo0oH98

Jun 30

Never have conflict is not reality. Constantly arguing means we go way too far. If you allow the spirit of strife in, it will tear apart relationships. Just because somebody is doing wrong, doesn't mean you have to engage. That's the spirit of strife baiting you. It takes mature person overlook offense. Walking away when everything in you says let them have it. You can always prove the point but you don't realize it damages relationships. We can't change people
✝️ J OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOgoyo0oH98

Jun 30

She aggravated me that day,big deal! She's human. There's no other person alive that you're in relationship with, that at some point will not irritate you, offend you, hurt you or get on your nerves. Instead of being upset, every time things don't go your way be argumentative, giving them cold shoulder, why don't you try this new approach and start maintaining your peace. Don't open your door to strife. Go extra mile keep unity in your home. Minor adjustment
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOgoyo0oH98

Jun 30

🎹 David Guetta, live à Chambord, 2024-06-29, 23-47-14, W9

Jun 30

⚽ Téléfoot. 'Téléfoot 26'..., 2024-06-30, 11-07-51, TF1

Jun 30

I'd never make it. And maybe it wouldn't make no difference, even if I did. Maybe it's just the whole world is like central casting. They got it all rigged before you ever show up.
🎞️ They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969)

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