Sep 1, 2022
Using word No is boundary with narcissist, toxic people. If you want to repel narcissists, toxic people, use the word No. Saying No will teach this person more than saying Yes everyday. Get them little criticism see what happens.
YT Mental Healness
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/i-nAA9rsCV4
Sep 1, 2022
Do not take every word for truth. Do not trust people too early. Read their body language.
YT Bill Huss
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bEKbWTV81h0
Sep 1
If you don't have good skills and assertiveness and having firm boundaries, trying to learn those skills with someone who is highly narcissistic that's impossible.
It is like learning to swim by jumping in sea full of sharks.
YT Dr Ruth Ann Harpur
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/w_rTHS2WhSA
Sep 1
Comfort zone is marketing ploy.
If comfort zone concept was real, third world countries would be abundant and wealthy.
The only problem are toxic people, toxic ambient, toxic habits. Get rid of those, and we will flourish.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2022/07/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety.html
Sep 1
You don't like people making broad generalizations about you and assumptions about you without knowing you? That doesn't make your comfortable, to have people making broad generalizations and assumption without knowing you as an individual?
YT Jane Elliott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPoSMULI5U
You don't know nothing about my attitude. You know my behavior. You're judging me by my behaviors. You know nothing about my attitude. You only know what my behaviors are
YT Jane Elliott's "Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes" Anti-Racism Exercise |The Oprah Winfrey Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPoSMULI5U
I heard someone says "Shut up and move to other side". It goes against everything that I really believe about how you treat people. People don't understand that racism is really about how you treat people. You don't know unless you feel it.
YT Jane Elliott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPoSMULI5U
You need to realize that we do not live in the same reality. We think that because we have all these freedoms, everybody else has them too. That isn't the way. How many women directed sexist behavior can leave? None, because there's no place without sexism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPoSMULI5U
We've lost 150,000 people to AIDS in this country. Now, think about that. People who are gay are being blamed for AIDS. We're calling AIDS a gay disease and we're letting people die of it because we disapprove of their sexual orientation.
YT Jane Elliott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPoSMULI5U
When you put people in a situation where they have to defend every movement and justify every movement that they make, you get this kind of behaviour (angry, hostile).
YT Jane Elliott's "Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes" Anti-Racism Exercise | The Oprah Winfrey Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPoSMULI5U
Brown-eyed children were in the low class the first day and it took them 5 minutes to get to card pack. The second day it took them 2 and half minutes. The only thing that had changed was the fact that now they were superior people.
YT Jane Elliott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
Filthy nasty word called discrimination. We're treating people a certain way because they are different from the rest of us. Is that fair?
YT A Class Divided #JaneElliott
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
Those who were deemed "superior" became arrogant, bossy, and otherwise unpleasant to their "inferior" classmates. Their grades on simple tests were better, and they completed mathematical and reading tasks that had seemed outside their ability before.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Elliott
The "inferior" classmates also transformed – into timid and subservient children who scored more poorly on tests, and even during recess isolated themselves, including those who had previously been dominant in the class.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Elliott
I felt like in glass cage. I was powerless, there was a sense of hopelessness, I was angry, I wanted to speak up and yet at times I knew I would be attacked. I was amazed how uncomfortable I was in first 15 minutes.
PBS A Class Divided
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
We couldn't argue with statements you make because if we argued, then we were argumentative and not listening, and getting out of our place. That was frustrating to me, not boisterous enough in our opposition.
PBS A Class Divided
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
In society in general you see a few people who are making a lot of noise. And the rest of people sitting back waiting to see what they're going to do. As long I was picking on him I was leaving you alone.
PBS A Class Divided
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
As you become adult you learn to deal with those feelings within yourself. When in situation that you can't get out of, we were captive audience, it was not normal situation, normally we aint badgered.
- What if you had to spend rest of your life this way?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
You may have felt some sort of discrimination but you haven't felt what it is like for black woman daily experiences of arguing and saying listen to me, my point is good, what I have to offer is good - no one wants to listen.
PBS A Class Divided
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
I think you could damage a child with this exercise very, very easily. And I would never suggest that everybody should use it. Inoculate young and old against the virus of bigotry.
PBS A Class Divided
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
They found out how to hurt one another and they found out how it feels to be hurt in that way. And they refused to hurt one another that way again.
PBS A Class Divided
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1mcCLm_LwpE
Sep 1
Some people choose not to unlearn it, because they're afraid they'll lose power if they share with other people. We are afraid of sharing power. That's what it's all about.
Jane Elliott
Die 80er-Jahre - Pop und Schlagernacht
Neue Deutsche Welle is a genre of West German rock music originally derived from post-punk and new wave music with electronic influences.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RceUpFjY79A
Sep 1
Baader–Meinhof phenomenon
after noticing something for the first time, there is a tendency to notice it more often, leading someone to believe that it has an increased frequency of occurrence.
Wikipedia
It may be cognitive bias, but we can employ it to work for us.
Sep 2
If you're dealing with someone covert vulnerable narcissist, this is someone who gets insulted very quickly. This is someone who in a crowd has problem with just about anyone if this person is not able to manipulate how other see them.
YT Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
Covert vulnerable narcissist expect the person across the room to make them feel good about themselves. Covert narcissist will take it very personally, get defensive, create story in their head & get angry at this person they feel slighted them
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
Covert narcissist is someone who is wreaking havoc wherever they go. Someone who is always complaining, who always feels like a victim, who turns situations around, very convincing that others have upset them.
YT Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
It's always someone else's fault why this person can't keep it together. It's very easy to insult them, they are highly sensitive to criticism, may seem vulnerable. What you may not pay attention to is how often they create drama in their life.
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
When you deal with narcissist you deal with somebody who overtly at least seems like they want to help people. But they're not doing it for the person. They're doing it for accolades, for power, prestige. Not to help community of people.
YT Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
It all comes down to – what is the intention of person who is doing this thing (help). To actually help or are they missionary to be able to talk about being missionary on social media, status that brings them, people they meet? All about them.
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
People in relationship with narcissists are very confused. They are emptied out, hollowed out, exhausted, have tons of cognitive dissonance, questioning themselves, physically ill, anxiety, brain fog, body starts to revolt. Impossible to please
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
Live in the world how do I please this person and how do I avoid making this person upset so we are detached. Natural response is want to get validated from the external world that your reality with the shark is the reality.
YT Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
Because love was conditional my little mind assumed there was something wrong with me, I was broken, and I had to fix it. Get thinner, get straight A's, should be perfect, should be quiet, search to fix this thing in me that was broken.
YT Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
I would berate myself, I'm just selfish, I'm not good enough, I'm not trying hard enough, it's me. This person's perfect, everyone loves him. I fell into narrative that was created in me when I was a child. Brain wired to think – wrong with me.
Lisa Romano
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
When you're dealing with covert narcissist, they exploit this in you. They figure out what your fears are and they exploit it. I heard “You never were happy so that is why you can ever be happy with me”. And it makes sense based on programming.
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
In their head they think they are doing everything right, they tell you – you're the one with problem. Perception: I'm perfect, you're not. I got stuck trying to explain to people. I know it's difficult, you have to let go. Focus on my own life
Lisa Romano
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xQpK9PuXHug
Sep 2
Your job was to make sure everybody else didn't set off and so you developed a superpower of taking your feelings and shoving them as far down as possible. By internalizing their feelings, become their regulator for their feelings.
YT The Ramsey Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB78IC4LB7I
Sep 3
Sorry. You lose. Eastern Europe.
Spies Like Us (1985)
Sep 3
If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, the road to heaven is paved with failure. Road to life we want is paved with failure, you have to have multiple failures to become what you are called to be.
HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEX1TCTDMUk
Sep 3
I promise you Tiger Woods has messed up more easy putts than I have. I promise you Elon Musk has had more business ventures than I have. There is process behind every successful person.
HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEX1TCTDMUk
Sep 3
We don’t inspect the world and get “habituated” by it but project concepts upon it. Perhaps it is we who make the world human, not the world that frames how we think.
Introducing Empiricism: A Graphic Guide
Sep 3
"I had to therefore to remove knowledge, in order to make room for belief."
Immanuel Kant
Critique of Pure Reason
Sep 3
The senses do not err, not because they always judge correctly, but because they do not judge at all.
Critique of Pure Reason
Immanuel Kant
Sep 3
Human reason can excuse any evil; that is why it's so important that we don't rely on it.
Veronica Roth, American novelist
Sep 3
Toxic Balkan vs the rest of world.
Sep 3
Man must be disciplined, for he is by nature raw and wild.
Immanuel Kant
Sep 4
If you believe in light, it is because of its purity
If you believe in Joy it is because of sadness
And if you believe in god. It is because of the devil
Enigma - The Rivers Of Belief
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xqb18bqNtEw
Sep 4
If you have ongoing exposure to controlling people it's a virtual certainty that you're going to experience blurry boundaries. They tend to be prone towards passive aggressive techniques. They want you believe you are crazy
YT 12 Passive Aggressive Tactics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mztSUPynskY
Sep 4
What do we mean by saying that existence precedes essence? We mean that man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world - and defines himself afterward.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Sep 5
Neurosis is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.
JUNG
Sep 5
The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.
JUNG
Sep 5
Narcissism is mimicking social anxiety.
The difference is:
Narcissists are afraid of reaction from other people.
Socially anxious are afraid of attack from other people.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2022/07/my-yt-comments-about-social-anxiety.html
Sep 5
Heaven Can Wait (1978)
Sep 6
Empathy. I'm talking to you in a way you can accept. I'm relating. I don't like to brag, but if I appeared to you just as God how I really am, what I really am, your mind couldn't grasp it.
Oh, God! (1977)
Sep 6
Water on Earth predates the solar system, and even the sun. Some of the water molecules in your drinking glass were created more than 4.5 billion years ago, according to new research. That makes them older than the Earth, older than the solar system
(2014)
https://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-old-water-on-earth-20140923-story.html
Sep 6
The likelihood of one individual being right increases in direct proportion to the intensity with which others are trying to prove him wrong.
Heaven Can Wait (1978)
Sep 7
Perception problems. Being overly empathic. You perceive yourself as somehow being the cause of it or you're not responsible to fix it for them. Persistently perceiving you are unwelcome or excluded by groups.
YT 3 Unnamed Childhood Trauma Symptoms - CPTSD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Sep 7
Being in our head look like: navigating fights in our head, ruminating, thinking about emotional problem because we're unable to feel the emotion. Analysis Paralysis. Replaying things. Black and white thinking
YT 3 Unnamed Childhood Trauma Symptoms – CPTSD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Sep 7
The well adjusted persons innate emotions hover at an ideal capacity. What situations come up in their present life they have an appropriate range and a reasonable amount of emotions for the moment. Emotions serve them at the time.
YT 3 Unnamed Childhood Trauma Symptoms - CPTSD
Sep 7
Layoff – well adjusted person have faith things will work out. The fear might be pain in the ass, but not it being about that they are worthless person or proof they matter in life. Anger is not vibe they get stuck in for several days.
Patrick Teahan LICSW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Sep 7
7yo that was raged at in the biological strategy of going in their head or freeze to wait storm to pass, throw all emotions in imbalance. Hating themselves lead to shame, then become so consumed not to make mistake again.
YT 3 Trauma Symptoms – CPTSD
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Bury joy because joy is not safe because it might upset miserable parent if you are happy. Anger is gone because it is also not safe. Being angry at disregulated adult it's just not physically safe. Interest gets muted
YT 3 Childhood Trauma Symptoms –CPTSD
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Sep 7
No one is helping the child with the reality that it's the parent who is off, not the child. What keeps person stuck in this imbalance is unprocessed family of origin trauma along with things happened later in life.
YT 3 Childhood Trauma Symptoms - CPTSD
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Sep 7
You start to free float, paradox is it doesn't matter about present so much. Going into vacuum is telling you that you are going through a trigger about your perception, compromised emotion need to be healed due to unprocessed trauma that we're carrying.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nnkK5m2UNeM
Sep 8
You will find that your body doesn't let you do the things you want to do. Why I feel bad, guilty for doing anything that is me? That's damage of infiltrating your subconscious programs with poison.
YT Michele Lee Nieves Coaching
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9eWUwIYKW8
Sep 9
What other people think about them will control them. Spend their life subjugating their needs to make other people happy. More likely attract people that they need to take care of, exploit their kindness, frustrate them.
YT Codependency
Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
Grow up in a home where the rules are oppressive, never allowed to express yourself, withdraw in yourself, not allowed to think, feel, supercritical, condemning home, feel persecuted, not allowed to talk about truth.
YT Codependency
Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
If we live with someone who is narcissistic, lacks accountability, distorts reality, gaslights, we get controlled by that person behaviour. In turn we try to control this person's behaviour. Children get programmed for codependency.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
Strong emotions like love and safety and trust can also create new neural pathways and basically get the brain out of the state of emotional arrest which is emotional paralysis. My brain was wired for survival.
YT Codependency
Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
As a child determined that you are bad, Self is not good, how can life progress from that point? How you develop self esteem, self efficacy, become self actualized – you can't. You live in survival. You need to achieve 1st stage – trust.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
You feel out of control, your belief system have you believed you have to control something you can't control – someone else's behaviour, how someone else perceive you. You look for validation, you think you do need it.
YT Codependency
Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
I was not connected to love, myself and so my body had no energy. I was giving my energy out and expecting energy to come back in. I thought the answer was outside of me because I was taught inside me was wrong, corrupt, dirty, bad.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
As little I was taught what was going on inside me was bad. It was shameful, broken. Idea of revealing this to someone was terribly frightening, it was tied to death. So my brain was in constant state of survival, I did not know it.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
As a codependent you are not aware you are thinking that way. You aren't aware that you on some level are trying to control what's happening between ears of another human being. Retrain my brain – you can't control anyone.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
Feeling like I had right to tell someone what to do, I had the right to jump and try to fix someone's life, I had right to offer my opinion. I shutty shutty. No – I don't have right to tell someone how to live their life. It is not up to me to fix that person's life.
Lisa Romano
Sep 9
It's not up to me to jump in and rescue that person. It's up to this person to get the help they need, ask for the help they need and to focus on themselves. I don't deserve the glory of that person's rescue. That's up to them.
YT Codependency
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
I began to understand that in rescuing other people was this little girl that was trying to feel good enough. It was my ego trying to use situation to feel better about itself. If I rescue you, then I'm a good person and get your validation
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
This is very threatening to him. From his position he would be losing control over me. If I stopped seeking his validation then what? That was what made him feel powerful and dominant. Wasn't happy with caring of oneself.
YT Codependency
Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
It became clear it wasn't just me. It was also him. Up until that point when I was in codependent recovery I hadn't really figure out that piece of puzzle yet. It became clear: I was living with someone who exploited my fear of abandonment.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
I was developing servitude for Self. I was serving my Self, I was serving my ideas, serving my decision process. I was detaching from needing other people to make decisions for me and to comfort me. Stop seeking approval.
YT Codependency
Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
Codependent looks for approval. Codependent wants to be liked. Codependent wants to know that the person that they're talking to feels seen, feels heard. But below the veil of consciousness, we're trying to wash ourselves from stain.
YT Codependency
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VtGY0H5Ps
Sep 9
If I'm having emotion about a thing, that's real and valid because it responds to a thing. It doesn't need justification, argument, defense. What it needs is acknowledgment, legitimization and respect. This heals effect of gas-lighting
YT Marshall Burtcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jcEYyKyq7o
Sep 9
God: Pain and suffering is built into the system.
- Which you invented.
God: I never could figure out how to make anything with just one side to it. You ever see a front without a back? A top without a bottom? If I take sad away, happy goes with it.
Oh God Book II (1980)
Sep 10
When we're dealing with codependency, we're dealing with below the veil issue. When you're codependent, you don't know it – you are living beneath the veil of consciousness. Living in auto pilot reactive existence.
YT Lisa A. Romano
Victimblaming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2UNBeltyi4
Sep 10
If you come from home where you have been continually denied and neglected and ignored, you don't have a perception of Self. I had been running my life completely reacted to what was happening outside of me unaware who am I.
YT Lisa A. Romano
Victimblaming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2UNBeltyi4
Sep 10
How could I develop a Self if I'm in situation where I am being taken advantage of and I don't even realize I am being taken advantage of? How do I develop a Self if the Self that I think I am is programmed to seek approval?
YT Lisa A. Romano
Victimblaming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2UNBeltyi4
Sep 10
That person who's judging you and persecuting you, to them it makes sense. They've twisted in their heads to make sense. Highly emotional you might end up really triggered by what someone else is saying.
YT Lisa A. Romano
Victimblaming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2UNBeltyi4
Sep 11
Late summer rainbow.
Sep 11
September clouds
Sep 14
When someone attempts to shame us,
Remember you are not them and they are not you.
It's not about you, it's about them.
Internal shame and self-alienation I can control, not them.
YT Toxic Shame: Know How To Protect Yourself and Deal With Shame Attacks
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
Shame lies dormant within us from growing up in shame based families. Shame seeks shame. Neglect is passive shame. Conditional love is passive shaming tool. When we experience shaming, first think 'I am not them, they are not me'.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
Whenever you hear should, oughts – these are shaming statements. 'You should have known better' is shaming statement. Always remember 'I am not them, they are not me'. I don't control nor cause their thoughts or feelings.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
I refuse to fuse with them, or enmesh. I will observe their words and behaviour but not absorb it. Take observer's role. I'll watch someone trying to attempt to shame me. In observer role we don't absorb it as much.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
She is telling her experience or affirming what his experience is, but she is not arguing with him. 'You can have your experience Jack, I can have mine'. Shame attacks from others are not about you, it's about them.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
When we enmesh I lose me. Enmeshment means not enough self, not enough I-ness, too much we-ness. That is what shame often does. It is do diminish your I-ness and for you to fold into We-ness. To fit right into that.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
I call this fusion without closeness. I want you to fuse with me but it's not truly closeness. Shame attacks are used by others when they cannot or don't know how to influence you in a positive way to change or comply. That's the purpose of shaming.
J Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
Although effective, shaming sends other messages that parents are not aware of, may cause problems in the future. Bullying is shaming. Let them have their shaming beliefs and words about you. Just don't absorb them.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Someone being critical or shaming they want to pull you into their emotional field and they want you to be them. They want that We-ness to be really strong. No, I need healthy balance of We and I-ness. They ask for too much.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
When someone is angry at you, and won't forgive - they're pursuing you. Chasing me. I experience myself as extension of you. When we get shamed, we experience ourselves as an extension to other person.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
I don't want to be extension to you. You may have opinions about what I should have done, should be doing, why I'm so bad for not doing that, but I'm not extension of you. Someone shaming you jumps over into your face.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Not only shame attacks come from others, but they can also occur inside us. Our internalized shame can erupt at different times. This is broken way to communicate to ourselves: feeling bad is reaching out in unhealthy way.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
We become shame-bound. Then whenever we feel any need or drive, we can immediately feel shame. Reject yourself think of it as yearning for yourself. Refuse to abandon yourself - that is critical no matter how bad you feel.
YT Toxic Shame
Jerry Wise
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V-MggRH8NW8
Sep 14
"I'm always making these mistakes, therefore I am a mistake". Now he is taking his behaviour as an identity - that is toxic shame.
YT Mark Hutten, M.A.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN9bvSZvN0o
Sep 14
Not holding them accountable to things they were suppose to do because I didn't want to be seen as mean or unlikable. I had constant incessant guilt that my staff was resentful and give them more and more.
YT How I created a toxic company culture
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svTUNbrl9Zg
Sep 14
I created a culture of people who did not respect me because of how much I was playing the “fun boss”. I just wanted to be liked by everyone. You grow attached to them in unhealthy way, not seeing them clearly or make logical decisions.
YT toxic company
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svTUNbrl9Zg
Sep 14
Who takes away the sins of the world
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Give them rest, give them rest
Dona eis requiem, dona eis requiem
Grant them eternal rest
Dona eis requiem
Forever
Sempiternam
Rest
Requiem
Pie Jesu, Andrew Lloyd Webber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g70KM2NwP0
Sep 15
While people create problems, lie cheat in vain,
Come lay with me in my bed and wash away the pain.
Take me on a journey let the pleasure start.
M People - One Night in Heaven (1993)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YLZTDQeEEw
Sep 16
Do something silly. Destroy image of cool your ego hangs onto in your mind – ends up being really freeing. There is freedom in there.
YT JulienHimself
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-UqdMCMBPTU?feature=share
Sep 17
You lose your train of thought, you start something you can't finish it, something upsets you and everything blows out for few days, you can't do anything. You can learn to re-regulate. Fear and resentments on paper.
YT Free Yourself From Family Shame
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKxbNqkEkcA
Sep 18
The dirt is getting you ready to flourish. There are things in your destiny that can only happen with the dirt. If you were not “buried” you would never see what is in your seed, reach your potential.
JOEL OSTEEN
Stronger Than You Think
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHow0xCAmbY
Sep 18
In the process of pendulation, we create a metaphorical path where we draw a bucket of water and carry it to the part of Self that is dying of thirst, as many times as needed.
Sep 18
Ghost at a group therapy.
Sep 19
Advertising suspended over Sky UK.
Sep 19
Studies investigating the effect of criticism on brain function are limited as well. However, it has been shown that listening to criticism activates brain areas involved in the cognitive control over negative emotions and self-referential processing.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3724923/
Sep 20
Axolotls bite everything and anything that moves around in their vicinity, but their teeth are too small to cause much pain.
Sep 20
Give all your focus to getting yourself into physically safe place where you can pause and get re-regulated.
YT To Heal CPTSD, Focus on this ONE Core Symptom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8j0FBa2AK0
Sep 20
I can feel thoughts the very instant they are formed.
Deep Red (1975)
Sep 21
Always be willing to confront people that are trying to control you or manipulate you. There is nothing worse than having somebody always trying to run your life for you, never freedom, constantly being told how to act, what to say, what to do.
Joyce Meyer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSlTJxrxCVU
Sep 21
Trickster can appear is as one who is not deceiving you but telling you the truth – but we likely won't believe him. In medieval times, the jester was known to speak the truth without losing his head in royal court.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster rises against the restrictions and authorities. Just like the id, the unconscious instinctual component that is present at birth, the source of instant gratification, bodily needs and wants, impulses and drives.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
ID is in constant conflict with superEgo, the internalization of cultural rules, which helps us act in socially acceptable ways. Tricksters usually have an enormous libido. Trickster comes when we are too serious, rigid, follow schedules.
YT Eternalised
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster causes us to forget what we intended to remember, say things we later regret, or appear in Freudian slip. Laughter mediates between the sacred and the profane, where trickster resides. Especially laughing at oneself
YT Psychology of The Trickster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster tells us that life is a play. We are the actors on a vast stage following a predetermined script. He tells we don't necessarily have to follow the script. That we can make our own, improvise, not afraid of making mistakes.
YT Eternalised
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
But rather laugh at mistakes. We have freedom and responsibility to do so. This is a core aspect of existential philosophy which teaches us to become authentic and discover who we truly are. We can never deceive ourselves
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Trickster forces us to look at ourselves in the mirror, and to the persona that we are putting on to impress others, to the detriment of our instinctual needs, our creativity and playfulness that is so vital to energy we need in life.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster is against any authority, as he wants to do what's best for him, and he is never going to put someone else before himself. He pokes holes in rigid boundaries, and calls into question fundamental assumptions.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster reveals the possibility of transforming assumptions. Pushes us to question those in power, and the limitations, and rules that are imposed on us. In attempt to wake us up as individuals and as a culture.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Asking a culture to look at its own folly, addressing hot topics with wit and humour, shining a light into shadowy areas and bring public attention to the underbelly. When comedy is suppressed, there are severe consequences.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
The totality of life consists of order and chaos, and the spirit of this disorder is the trickster. He is Dionysian god of wine and music, connects us to instinctual forces that lie outside the bounds of all things civilised
The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster seeks to break conventions and take us into wild, untamed places. Nietzsche who called himself the last disciple of Dionysus, wrote: One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
 |
| People kill, in order to protect what they consider their own. |
 |
| Let's go! Can you hear it? |
 |
| Simon of the Desert (1965), by Luis Buñuel |
Sep 21
Without chaos, society loses its culture, the system becomes flawed, stale and bureaucratic. Therefore, Trickster not only destroys old values, but also creates new values. He reshapes surrounding world with inner magic, continually weaving old into new.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
The Psychology of The Trickster
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
The person who appears to be too kind, or pure on the outside, and is suppressing his true emotions, may suddenly become self-destructive or engage in sinful behaviors. Trickster compelling him to do very thing consciousness prohibits.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Achieve a balance and make peace with one's dark aspects. The psyche compensates to achieve equilibrium and wholeness. Because trickster disrupts convention, he is commonly cast in a negative light.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Unlike the devil, who is an agent of evil, trickster is amoral, not immoral. Morality is structure of society and ego-consciousness, the unconscious does not play by our rules. Occupies liminal: that which is neither this nor that, any yet is both.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
As humans, we struggle to understand paradox, contradiction, and to grasp the possibility that unity underlie apparent duality. Trickster as shapeshifter is like liquid, escapable. We can identify by nature of its changeability.
Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Prometheus is trickster who stole fire to give to mankind. Mankind was not ready to use in unselfish manner. However this made us human, essential for evolution. Paradox: necessary for progress is also capable of destroying us.
Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Carl Jung calls the figure of the trickster an archetype. Part of collective unconscious, present in everyone deeper unconscious than experience gathered in life. We cannot observe them directly but have impact on activities and thinking.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
The Psychology of The Trickster
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Unknown and repressed part of ourselves causes us to lose our own self. The trickster accompanies us into rabbit hole to the depts of our unknown self. However scary, trickster helps us find depths in ourselves we didn't know.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster is concerned with helping us reduce the sin of pride. He keeps us from being too confident in ourselves, since hubris (excessive pride or self-confidence) forecasts a fall. Trickster helps deflate ego inflation.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
The healthy ego is our sense of who we are, serving as a bridge to the inner world. Trickster helps us become more realistic about our psychological limitations and spiritual limitlessness. Humbles us, topples our ego, upsets our plans.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
As we start to see reality of things, everything we thought to be meaningful (power, money, fame, pleasure) becomes meaningless. Trickster helps us to humble us down, and tells us our powers are limited in vast universe.
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
“Not enough” or “too much” are the trickster, the extremes are how we get tricked. However, trickster is trying to point us towards the centre, to the path of individuation. Golden mean of confidence – between self-deprecation and vanity.
YT Eternalised
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
The integration of the trickster archetype allows us to go from being ruled by our own self-centred ego to a new way of living, in which one has integrity and relatedness. It allows us to become aware of our true emotions
YT The Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Sep 21
Trickster allows us to discover our Self, the totality of the personality which unites the opposites of consciousness and the unconscious and holds everything together in balance and unity. Attempts to wake us up, shake to core.
Psychology of The Trickster
https://youtube.com/watch?v=38hwk0BgGNU
Explosion of wealth in 2021:
"Number of global ultra high net worth individuals hits record high"
https://theguardian.com/news/2022/sep/20/number-global-ultra-high-net-worth-individuals-record-high
Sep 21
Narcissists think they're in pain, you are the reason they are in pain, therefore it's all your fault therefore they have right to abuse you. This is what makes them so dangerous, able to rationalize being vile, vindictive and cruel.
Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOX6TCnQBUQ
Sep 21
Panel says US adults should get routine screening for anxiety
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-62974686
Sep 21
You can't run away from trouble,
ain't no place that far.
Br'er Rabbit
Sep 21
Sometimes I believe in as many 6 impossible things before breakfast.
Alice Kingsley
Sep 21
Disney's Splash Mountain art
Sep 21
It's the Truth, it's Actual, everything is Satisfactual!
Br'er Rabbit
Sep 21
Devin Booker sketch.
Sep 22
Tell them off or don't speak anymore. The other person sees for the very first time how mentally strong you actually are, how capable, and how small you actually kept your light in order to make them shine. Hits them where it hurts.
YT Wenzes
Door slam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdHmofK-37A
Sep 22
They see that you've seen their weak side all along. That you made yourself small because you looked at them and said they are not strong enough to be on same level as me, see weaknesses that they see in themselves the whole time.
YT Wenzes
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hdHmofK-37A
Sep 22
Beware the social system that cannot laugh at itself, that responds to those who do not know their place by building a string of prisons.
Sep 22
Donald Trump As A Trickster Manqué, A Failed Trickster.
https://jungstudies.net/2016/06/donald-trump-as-a-trickster-manque-a-failed-trickster/
Naught but love makes magic real.
Salman Rushdie
Sep 22
It's very difficult to shame tricksters or to make them feel guilty or to make them feel bad about themselves. For the most part they are immune to those sorts of manipulation and that makes them inimical to dictatorial nature.
YT The Trickster Archetype
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrTL9b1Mock
Sep 22
We don't take comedians very seriously and because of that we are able to laugh. And while we are laughing their wisdom has a chance to fly beneath the radar screen of our possible ideological objections.
YT The Trickster Archetype
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrTL9b1Mock
Sep 22
Trickster archetype is important to our world has to do with how it enhances and deepens our lives. Inviting us to let go of our debilitating self-seriousness and self-importance, egoistic desperation to see ourselves as winners.
YT The Trickster Archetype
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrTL9b1Mock
Sep 22
It takes abiding intrepidity to find delight in what we're experiencing rather than to see ourselves as constantly oppressed and cheated, and victimized by life. It takes better part of who and what we are.
YT The Trickster Archetype (our world needs it)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrTL9b1Mock
Sep 23
You're not insulting them. You're describing them. You're not speaking negatively about them. You're just explaining what happened. And you're not ruining their reputation. They did that with their actions.
YT Narc Free Living®
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/y0jqDIh-Asc
Sep 23
The wrong way is to assume that my intellect or ability to argue a point can be as good as covert narcissist's. In almost every case it resulted in long, extended argument. I'd find behind the scenes how much time, energy, money to make me look bad person.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hejgv0FIh6Q
Sep 23
Dealing with high narcissistic traits when you have need it will be twisted, you are being conditioned to think that needing is selfish, something to be ashamed of. Over time, you learn not to ask. To take care of everybody else.
YT Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jakBnTixB1A
Sep 23
I didn't see that as mean, as passive aggressive or just aggressive, I didn't even see it as narcissistic, I didn't see it as manipulative because I didn't have the knowledge about toxic relationship dynamics.
YT Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jakBnTixB1A
Sep 23
She knows if she wants to stay alive she needs to stay authentic. It's a commitment. Lost connection to your essence, to your authentic self. That is much more important than whether your mother or father loved you or not.
YT Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYTCfMTOh6I
Sep 23
It gives you same story – if you say no, you're a bad person. That's all it knows. You don't want to feel it, you don't want to make friends with it. Next time you feel guilt, be happy about it. Say to yourself, I've done something for myself
YT Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYTCfMTOh6I
Sep 23
We're meant to create. When we do the work that's not creative, that doesn't reflect who we are, that imposes depression, anxiety, a sense of meaninglessness. We substitute with by other activities – how people feel about us, what we posses.
YT Gabor Maté
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYTCfMTOh6I
Sep 23
We have this idea that what is normal is also healthy and natural. In this culture the norm is neither healthy nor it is natural. In fact, a norm is making us sick.
YT Gabor Matè
Tom Bilyeu
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzXY-DnE0ps
They really try to fit in and not make waves. That's an adaptation. They grew up in families where they were not accepted, seen for who they were. Might have been traumatized. That adaptation to suppress emotions, to fit in.
YT Gabor Matè
Tom Bilyeu
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzXY-DnE0ps
Sep 23
Illness is outcome of that adaptation. Core directive to become pathological is we have to connect by maintaining authenticity, in touch with gut feeling and be true to them. If you grew up in home where honest emotions were not accepted.
YT Gabor Matè
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzXY-DnE0ps
Sep 23
Healthy anger is there to protect our boundaries, somebody invade our space, say Stay out, that is role of healthy anger. If you repress this healthy anger people would trespass me all over me. Keeps out dangerous.
YT Gabor Matè
Tom Bilyeu
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzXY-DnE0ps
Sep 23
Problem with adaptive responses is they help you with at the time but later on they become problems. Adaptive at one point, maladaptive at another point. They are not conscious adaptations, they are automatic, under awareness.
YT Gabor Matè
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KzXY-DnE0ps
Tom Bilyeu
Sep 23
I think I'm losing my head now
Tonight we'll make bad memories
Meduza & James Carter - Bad Memories
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkZnFdu6PXU
Sep 24
With sin we are like in high heels with layers on. This is how you should view sin. Not something to be in shame about, but just something that holds you back from fulfilling who you're truly suppose to be.
Hour of Power
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mGWMqlBqAtI
Sep 24
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little "extra"
Sep 24
A little extra goes a long way.
Sep 24
You interfered with a well-laid plan.
- Yeah, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.
Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
Sep 24
VAHVA Fitness - sketch
https://youtube.com/channel/UCPx2nKfFk4p6IkQsMW9O0xQ/videos
When we live image driven we can't be real, authentic. We have to hide this weakness or they may think less of us. We have to play up to this person to stay in their favour. We spend so much energy in protecting this image we created.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEG-dZxmHVY
Sep 25
The ones that look they have all together - they have issues, too. There is no shame in saying I need help. I'm not what I look like. I'm struggling, I'm hurting, I'm broken. It takes humility to take image off the throne.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEG-dZxmHVY
Sep 25
Walk by faith, not by sight.
Sep 25
When you always try to please people, you can lose who you are. I had to decide am I going to be who they want me to be, I had to disappoint few people. Few criticized. Don't let them squeeze you into their mould.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEG-dZxmHVY
Sep 25
Being worried what he is going to think about me? Some of these situations are test. I don't mean never take advise nor be disrespectful. But be strong when other people are putting their demands on you, putting mould.
JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEG-dZxmHVY
Sep 25
Before Sigmund Freud, man believed that what he said and did were the products of his conscious will alone. But the great psychologist demonstrate the existence of another part of our mind which functions in darkest secrecy and can even rule our lives.
John Huston's Freud (1962)
Sep 25
Whether these alien ideas spring from the subject's own mind as in auto-suggestion following a traumatic experience or by hetero-suggestion as in hypnosis or by the Devil himself, as our forefathers thought is relatively unimportant.
Freud (1962), Montgomery Clift
Sep 25
Important is that these ideas remain unknown to the patient they are unconscious. There is much talk nowadays about the unconscious. So far, it has only been a philosophical abstraction but Professor Charchot has enabled us to reach out and touch it.
Freud (1962)
We must now accept the fact that there can be thinking that is not on a conscious level. Are these unconscious thoughts the wild products of a shattered mind or are they connected to the trauma by a chain of logic whose links we have yet to discover?
John Huston's "Freud" (1962)
Sep 25
Our common enemy the normal people who would knock our deformities, torment and degrade us. My life has been a sham. I misused my talents hiding the truth even from myself. I suppressed my real being. The result I'm dying in a state of pride and ignorance.
Freud (1962)
Sep 26
Your diary, when you were a student. "Progress, like walking is achieved by losing then regaining one's balance. It's a series of mistakes".
John Huston' 'Freud' (1962)
Sep 26
Your guilt is shared by every human being. The innocent is born into a world in which it cannot help but lose its innocence. Every child is foredoomed to become a sinner. I sinned too. I dreamed of killing my father.
- Then you were a monster too.
- No, I was a child
Freud (1962)
Sep 26
Impacts of trauma on group conflict (aka social anxiety)
Splitting:
If you're not with us, you're against us.
If you're against us, you are evil.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=dIoaLyQjMFI
Sep 26
Commander Beverly G. Crusher, MD (née Howard) - Gates McFadden - played in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984).
Sep 27
NASA, you have live cam from some random asteroid. Place live cams on Moon, at Apollo landing sites. No excuses.
#NASA #DARTMission
Sep 27
NASA Live DART cam,
Impact in 30 minutes
Sep 27
"Who would you be without your identity?"
Byron Katie
Sep 28
Give the gift that everyone loves:
Let them be right.
Byron Katie
Sep 28
A dog is a parasite hybrid. He chases cars, he barks at shadows, and he eats his own faeces. But a dingo, dingo's clean, he's intelligent, he's quiet. In fact, he's physically incapable of barking. That's why they call him "the silent dog". He's an aristocrat.
Roadgames (1981)
Sep 29
Pumpkin Festival 2022 at my hometown.
Sep 30
In close relationship lack of empathy is going to matter.
YT The War Against Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qRoehiNSsrs?feature=share
Sep 30
Codependent is motivated to enmash with partner and make surrogate parent: you need to make me love myself, I only feel valuable when you love me, feel valid and real if you see me as valid and real. This is called burdening.
YT Marshall Burtcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODio1ddCWwU
Sep 30
Everybody has bad days, if you take it to heart, make it a big thing, then that locks, you can't exit that vibe, you decide it is big thing and create drama. If you have negative mindset you will see slight on purpose everywhere.
YT TheHappySensitive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZiaIWRp0zo
Sep 30
They went back and forth until eventually they found that sweet spot. The Sweet Spot where they benefit each other protected from elements, and also had enough space not constantly hurting each other.
YT What Porcupines Teach Us About Boundaries
TEDx Talks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xc5eDqWy5o
What if boundaries were not just yes or no, what if boundaries were how much? After 26 years obsessively studying human behavior I discovered two boundaries: fear-based and love-based boundaries.
YT What Porcupines Teach Us About Boundaries
TEDx Talks
I realized every time someone poked me, I let them too close, I would get triggered. Each of us have internal safety threshold. It sets of alarm, danger, you're not safe. Then we get in stress, survival response
YT What Porcupines Teach Us About Boundaries
How can we fully give or receive love if we're in defense? Because we have to feel safe before we can fully give and receive love. Excessive yes had me missing out on true authentic loving connection. Or excessive no.
YT What Porcupines Teach Us...
'How much' question.
In the Inner circle is healthy intimate relationship. And the closer is someone to that middle circle, the more they get those resources: time, energy, attention, how open you are. Further they are, less they get.
YT TEDx Talks
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2Xc5eDqWy5o
Sep 30
A false dilemma s a way to push people to all think the same way (by rejecting valid alternatives upfront).
YT Narcissism: The Boogieman Argument
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__YL1fxjW0Q
Sep 30
Radio 538 is 30 years old and instead of weekly TOP50 hit list there is celebration with TOP 1000
https://538.nl/30-jaar-538/luister-naar-de-538-top-1000
Sep 30
It's important to acknowledge first that your narcissistic relationships with people are not working, narcissist in your life are not going to make good friends or partners. It's really important to own, lose interest in fighting them.
YT TheHappySensitive
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