Quotes to consider

 Quotes to consider:
Lundy Bancroft:
"Abuse is NOT caused by bad relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behaviour. But he wants you to think you can."

Carl Jung | Psychology and Philosophy 🧠, TWITTER:
The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.

Sigmund Freud | Philsopher & Neurologist ✍️, TWITTER:
Unexpressed emotions will never die.
They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.

Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering.
Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured.
The Highly Sensitive Person,
Elaine N. Aron

"Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame"
Peter Levine

Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”

Self-regulation, writes Ross Buck, “involves in part the attainment of emotional competence, which is defined as the ability to deal in an appropriate and satisfactory way with one’s own feelings and desires.”
Dr. Gabor Maté,
"When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress"

Escape attempt from pain creates more pain.
We get addicted to it.
Dr. Gabor Maté

"I have to be strong"
The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defense.
When the Body Says No - The Cost of Hidden Stress
Book by Gabor Maté

Many of us live, if not alone, then in emotionally inadequate relationships that do not recognize or honour our deepest needs.
Isolation and stress affect many who may believe their lives are quite satisfactory.
"When the Body Says No", Dr. Gabor Maté

For anger to be deployed appropriately, the organism has to distinguish between threat and non-threat.
If I don’t know where my own boundaries begin and end, I cannot know when something potentially dangerous is intruding on them.
"When the Body Says No", Dr. Gabor Maté

See that anxiety is normal response on their part to what actually happened to them. And it can be relieved and recovered if they look at its sources.
YT What Causes Your Anxiety? | Dr. Gabor Mate

“What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.”
Quote by Gabor Maté

Almost every mental disorder originates in childhood experience and originates as coping mechanism. When you are threatened with something, you would not be anxious, you would be afraid - as you should be.
YT Dr. Gabor Mate

Cry for help begins as coping mechanism and that becomes generalized. So under certain circumstances there should be fear and anxiety. But when I have anxiety and there is no immediate threat, what is that about?
YT Dr. Gabor Mate

Look at childhood. Anxiety is really the cry of some desperate childhood part of themselves for help and to learn to get help with that part. Not just to take tranquilizers, drink or go to Internet to soothe themselves.
YT Dr. Gabor Mate

The desire for self development stems from "narcissistic" desires, a tendency to self-aggrandizement and superiority over others.
Sigmund Freud

Neurosis is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.
JUNG

The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego,
the second half is going inward and letting go of it.
Carl Jung

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.
Carl Jung


“To be normal is the ideal aim for the unsuccessful.”
JUNG

Improving our relationships is improving our mental health.
William Glasser

Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships.
Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs.
WILLIAM GLASSER

Controlling Habits:
Blaming
Criticizing
Complaining
Nagging
Rewarding To Control
Threatening
Punishing
William Glasser

William Glasser "What's my Choice" Connecting Habits:
Listening
Supporting
Encouraging
Negotiating
Respecting
Accepting
Trusting

They see us as timid, shy, weak, or unsociable. Fearing these labels, we try to be like others. But that leads to our becoming overaroused and distressed. Then that gets us labeled neurotic or crazy, first by others then by ourselves.
The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron

Learning to see our trait as a neutral thing-useful in some situations, not in others-but our culture definitely does not see it, or any trait, as neutral.
Be careful about accepting labels for yourself such as "inhibited", "introverted", "shy"
The Highly Sensitive Person,E. Aron

"Sooner or later everyone encounters stressful life experiences, but HSPs react more to such stimulation. If you see this reaction as part of some basic flaw, you intensify the stress already present in any life crisis.
This deeper processing of subtle details causes you to consider the past or future more. You "just know" how things got to be the way they are or how they are going to turn out. It can be wrong, but your intuition is right often enough that HSPs tend to be visionaries, more conscientious, cautious and wise people.
It is important not to confuse arousal with fear.
And often we think that our arousal is due to fear. We do not realize that our heart may be pounding from the sheer effort of processing extra stimulation.
I really suggest trying to view it as neutral.
HSPs must spend far more time trying to invent solutions to human problems just because they are more sensitive to hunger, cold, insecurity, exhaustion, and illness.
Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about such things, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering.
Spend enough time putting yourself out there in the world - your sensitivity is not something to be feared.
Carl Jung believed that when highly sensitive patients has experienced a trauma, they had been unusually affected and so developed a neurosis.
Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. HSPs differ mainly in their sensitive processing of subtle stimuli. This is your most basic quality."
The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron

Goodness is chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man.
A Clockwork Orange (1971)

We didn't know until recently that c-PTSD is an injury to your brain and nervous system. And a lot of therapist and clinical professionals still don't know this.
YT Crappy Childhood Fairy

 Somebody made you feel bad about yourself for expecting a normal respectful interaction with people. Somebody planted this idea that you are damaged.
YT Crappy Childhood Fairy

 Narcissists get exhausted at playing nice, they are not naturally empathic. Your form of supply is being their punching bag. They use charm to get supply from people with power or attract new people. And rage & abuse to regulate their exhaustion.
YT DR Ramani

You learned that boundaries weren't necessary. You learned that boundaries equal pain. So as an adult you don't know how to set a boundary. And in fact your brain is going to send you information that tells you – boundaries are bad.
Lisa Romano

If you come from dysfunctional family, you don't have tools you need to gain perspective. It is not your fault. If it is difficult for you to disengage, when narcissist get angry, you must know this is not your fault.
Lisa Romano

 

I would berate myself, I'm just selfish, I'm not good enough, I'm not trying hard enough, it's me. This person's perfect, everyone loves him. I fell into narrative that was created in me when I was a child. Brain wired to think – wrong with me.
Lisa Romano

When you're dealing with covert narcissist, they exploit this in you. They figure out what your fears are and they exploit it. I heard “You never were happy so that is why you can ever be happy with me”. And it makes sense based on programming.
Lisa Romano
 

"The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones."
 - John Maynard Keynes