Mastodon 2024 October

 October 1, 2024

Internalized hyperactivity, being labeled as too much, too sensitive and they don't know why. They spent their whole life masking, pretending to be someone that they're not. The biggest manifestation of neurodiversity in workplace is always anxiety. Spotting what anxious employee looks like. Key takeaway if you accommodate your neurodiversity that enables ND mind become activated-  there are so many positives.
🟥 Why ANXIOUS minds hold some of the BEST IDEAS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhVohk5f62w

Oct 1
Best ideas are trapped in anxious minds. Impulse spending, not being able to manage your emotions – is the first tool to manage it. Having that understanding that you are wired a little bit differently of how society exprects you to behave and respond in some situations. Putting a breaker between scenario and your reactions I found has been critical in managing aspect of emotional dysregulation. Someone make comment you perceive as criticism.
🟥 Why ANXIOUS minds hold...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhVohk5f62w

Oct 1
🇲🇷 Thalassa, aventures extrêmes

Oct 2

There's this deep longing which is so innate in all of us to be loved. To feel warmth of connection, our lives depend on it. We have this intrinsic need to be loved and yet this desperate fear of being seen. We want to be seen but we are afraid of being seen. We want to be loved but we are afraid we are going to be seen and rejected as unlovable. Unconscious shame will keep us stuck in toxic relationships for a very long time.
🟥 Unconscious Shame keeps us trapped
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdRyXXxyL9c

Oct 2
I truly believed in toxic relationship that if person gives me what I want then I would be okay. Relationship will be amazing, I really believed that. But it's just doesn't work like that. It's our unconscious beliefs that are driving the whole thing, keeping us stuck with someone that in deep knowing way we know will never going to be able to see us. I felt my soul so ugly I had to block people out.
🟥 Unconscious Shame keeps us trapped
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdRyXXxyL9c

Oct 2
Trauma is not defined by the event, it is defined by the person’s reaction to an event. Two people could experience the same event and it could be traumatizing to one or the other or both. If something felt traumatic to someone, it was.

Oct 2
It can cause some neurological changes that affect the way you learn and remember, it can affect the way you handle emotions, it can affect your whole body systems and result in chronic disease, chronic pain. So lot of things that we were mystified even 10 years ago why do some people struggle so much with these problems we're starting to see this common denominator and it's trauma in childhood.
🟥 Rewiring Your Nervous System
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
I see healing as a basic two-step process. And the first step is you got to learn to re-regulate your nervous system. And there are number of ways you can do that. Exercise, coordinated movement yoga, martial arts, singing together, dancing, eat, sleep regular schedule, writing my distress. Writing bunch of negative thoughts won't do much. Getting space from them and meditate. There are trauma driven beliefs, take top layer off. Like shower.
🟥 Rewiring Your Nervous System
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
There's no fixing necessary. You just say it, you've written it, at the end of writing we ask for it to be removed, or released. This space opens up in my mind. Then I rest in meditation 20 minutes. It helped me get my focus back, from low floor up to the regular flow. Part two is life problems to work out. If you have been living with trauma and dysregulation – there are life problems. The same that anyone gets but worse with trauma.
🟥 Rewiring Your Nervous System
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
By starting to process my thoughts and feelings I would get better. Well now we know that Complex PTSD actually injures the ability to process thoughts and feelings. There's too much in there. Almost everybody with childhood trauma has a sense of disconnection – like everybody got the memo but I do not understand how to connect. When you find out it is trauma symptom – it really helps. When clumsy gives impulse to avoid people. Re-regulate.
🟥 Rewiring Your Nervous System
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
When you have Complex PTSD a lot of stuff stays active. So you're still reacting to something that happened couple days ago or 10 years ago. It feels like having headphones with very loud music and I can hear what they are saying but never really attune. Mental clutter going on. Common culture is saying “feel your feelings” but if you have emotional dysregulation probably is not best advice. You want to regulate your emotions, check assumptions.
🟥 Rewiring Your Nervous...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
When I am regulated I am aware of time. Then we have people clutter. We have trouble sorting out – this is the person I want in my life, this is the person I don't want in my life. People in early stages of healing often have people who are still abusive to them, who still exploiting them, treating them badly. And there is emotional confusion – do I have a right, is it just me, am I really awful person that should be treated this way.
🟥 Rewiring Your Nervous System
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
Lashing out -  what it feels like when it is happening, it feels necessary, it feels like something so terrible is done to you that you have to fight back really hard. And you're miscalculating how bad it is. People who lash out will freeze up at other times and not say anything. So if they're being harassed at work they will freeze and not be able to defend themselves. People notice emotional dysregulation when you start yelling, it hurts relationships.
🟥 Rewiring Your..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDttryQpGmA

Oct 2
You have multiple inner children. Every time you were traumatized, It's possible that your psyche created fragmented "Parts" to deal with the pain specific to that incident.
This is really about reconnecting your body and your nervous system.

Oct 2
🩰 Hommage à Patrick Dupond

Oct 2
🩰 Hommage à Patrick Dupond

Oct 2
🩰 Hammer

Oct 2
Strange, is it not, how we spend time with people and still can't be certain what they are really like. So many of us posing as one thing in reality being something quite different.
🎞️ Gambit (1966)

Oct 3

Oct 3

🎨 Kevin Alvarez sketch
 

Oct 3

Sometimes, Dolores ...sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.
🎞️ Dolores Claiborne (1995)

Oct 3
🌉 Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy Bridge

Oct 4
Name calling is actually abusive. Adults who choose name calling usually have a low emotional intelligence and lack emotional maturity. Name calling and criticism are two of the most common forms of displaced aggression. If you struggle to put your thoughts into words this could mean one or two things. Either you haven't formed extensive vocabulary to accurately communicate what you are feeling and thinking or you are emotionally triggered and at mercy
🟥 Calling Names
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlEQyzQHXYw

Oct 4
Wallow in victimhood – it is feeding the dark wolf when you had a choice to feed the light wolf. Only one wolf is going to survive. And it's up to you which one that ends up being. You become whatever it is that you think. It's very hard to dig out of hole if you believe you belong there, if you think you deserve problems. You will curate the world around you that starts with your perspective of which just confirms how much you feel awful.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJXYLxf3JuI

Oct 4
📽️ The Batman (2022)

Oct 4
🎨 SL72 sketch

Oct 5

Oct 5

🎭 Turandot - Arena di Verona 2024

Oct 5
🎄 Spiced scent jar

Oct 5

Social anxiety overlaps with Complex Trauma, Quiet BPD, ACoA, RSD and HSP
📊 Social anxiety - Venn Diagram

Oct 5

🧵 Boys sew too

Oct 5
People will only do things in life that benefit them. Sometimes that benefits are hard to notice. Sometimes it is hidden. Sometimes it is not all that good for you, like a temporary bandage. But the (sub)conscious decisions that we're making are designed to get you something. Being in place where everything is scary and after remission, being in place where there is no fear any longer creates a different world around you. We curate world we live in.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu3B0h1ZNlI

Oct 5

Either take care of the fears or the fears will take care of you. And they will run your life. They will find ways to make everything make sense. And that's the part of the issue. All the stuff you are worried about you will find confirmation bias in your world to make it make sense. So that you're able to say –see I was right to worry about that, to fear this, to be scared about this, I knew that would happen. But we create to make these more likely
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu3B0h1ZNlI

Oct 5
🎵 The Smile - Foreign Spies (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHkZ5YzJYvI

Oct 5
Option one make sure you are someone who makes sure collect all data to have a fullest picture. Option two is we curate world we get angry, defensive, fight, or isolate whenever someone says something we don't like or agree with. Of which trains them to no longer criticize you. Walking on eggshells: you created a world where people are afraid to talk to you about certain things and that's usually coping mechanism we use. Make our reaction so bad.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu3B0h1ZNlI

Oct 5
You must have all the data before processing actions. You must admit that you are giving control of your mind to your emotions and that you have been emotionally reacting, I call it BPD filter. Everything you're taking in passes this filter before you make decisions. That is nonsense. You need to collect data before having gaps in reality. Where you don't clearly understand everything. Anger masks pain. You're in pain over something. Data: better choices
🟥 Sensitive St...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu3B0h1ZNlI

Oct 5
🥾 Allgäuer Alpen

Oct 5
You think of bad memory which often times we do, this is the problem, we focus on the emotional content of the bad memories. And that's part of the issue with present, we focus on the negative content of the present situation. And when you put it through negative filter you're giving the amygdala permission to generate negative chemicals. You have to find silver linings in everything. Look at past as someone else's story, as lesson, void of emotion.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh7LcBfaWQ

Oct 5
We have such a fragile sense of self that we can't admit that maybe we are accountable or responsible for something and we don't understand the difference between accountability responsibility – and guilt, blame, shame and embarrassment, we will just mash those two different ideas together. And we will experience blame which is difficult to have when you don't really like much yourself, and fighting tooth and nail everyday to feel valuable.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh7LcBfaWQ

Oct 5
Walking on eggshells perpetuates you remaining in this position. You have to be strong,heroic, confident,you have to tell yourself I'm capable of climbing over hurdles. One thing being sympathetic and sensitive to us, that's alright a little bit. But it's enabling when they start avoiding topics because it upsets you. I want my wife being able to tell me anything. Then I need to dive deeply why this bothers me so much, usually I rely on rest of world tell me I'm good enough
🟥 Sensitive Stability

Oct 5
The “episodes”, the splits, the really bad stuff – we have trained people to understand that's what we get of they talk about certain topics. We have trained people to fear us getting upset or angry or disagreeing with us. This is tough stuff to admit. Hardest thing in getting better in BPD where I admit that other people's opinion might have some validity. And that I don't have to be always right. And I don't have to force, control the rest of world making me comfortable.
🟥 Sensitive Stability

 Oct 5
But instead I can focus on trying to make the rest of the world comfortable and turns out that was the best play I could have ever made. It's not about me me me, making sure I am comfortable, making sure nobody steps on me in wrong way. It should be more about me giving, helping, putting things out in the world. The more I did that, the better my life got. Less problems I had, works so well. It moved me so quickly.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh7LcBfaWQ

Oct 5
In order to permanently solve the favorite person complex you must be able to validate yourself. You must be able to know that you have a basic human right of feeling good enough. In general. You don't have to do anything to prove your worth. You don't have to have this immense value in your job in order to know you are a good human being. You don't have to do favors for people in order to have them like you. Based on other person want to fit in.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh7LcBfaWQ

Oct 5
Triggers can help you promote safety and security in your life. But when we are talking about triggers that fall outside of social norm, like “You can't work this office job because you might find someone better”. We strive to social norm – we want relationship with people who are social norm. You can't predict all the triggers, it's impossible. And we can't avoid all triggers – they are everywhere. Instead I can focus on becoming best version of myself, handle best I can
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh7LcBfaWQ

Oct 5
I wasted so much of my life trying to control other people. & I was actually pretty good at it, manipulating and controlling people into doing what I wanted them to do. So I could avoid getting hurt or upset. I found that to be huge waste of time, it didn't generate long term peace of joy and I had little self respect, I wasn't getting appropriate type of affection and love I needed in return. People were upset they had to walk on eggshells around me
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIh7LcBfaWQ

Oct 5
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Vivre loin du monde

Oct 5
🇮🇸 Echappées belles

Oct 6
🇮🇪 L'Irlande, entre terre et mer

Oct 6
🇮🇪 Ireland's coasts, life between land and sea

Oct 6
🎵 Cesar Precio - D'autres îles en soi (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5nzeirHbwo

Oct 6
🇮🇪 Irlands Küsten, Leben zwischen Land und Meer

 

Oct 6
🇮🇪 Ireland's coasts, life between land and sea

Oct 6
🇮🇪 Ireland's coasts, life between land and sea

Oct 6
🎵 Or Kantor - Nowin' (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SGaK032rlg

 Oct 6
⚽ Téléfoot

⚽ Juventus - Fiorentina

Oct 6
You have a lot of people who are making up your identity if you have BPD of which you may not realize and you rely very heavily upon those person's opinion of you. Judgment, criticism, comparing ourselves to other people, feeling not good enough are some pretty heavy BPD triggers. And they all play in the same arena of worrying a bit too much about what other people think about you. That's terrible way to live in general.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
Building how you feel about yourself based upon how everyone else feels about you–that's very nonconstructive. The root of the problem there isn't you're using other people's guidance in order to tell you who you are, it's that you lack a center of self, strong enough to feel good enough just because you are. That's something that we lack with BPD. It does start at the foundation of you not feeling full, you not feeling whole. You not liking yourself
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
And thus any slight perceived disappointment in you by this other person is enough for us to critically rearrange how we feel about ourselves even more in the moment. The more we act out, the more that becomes true. Self-fulfilling prophecy. And you can still be impacted by some of this stuff even on microscopic levels, without really detecting it. Society care about what other people think to some extent. Some get insulted, betrayed and move on.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
It tells you that social norm, individuals out there haven't figured it out either to some extent. We hold ourselves to such high bars but you ain't going to attain it over night. So we need to set the bar a little lower so that you are not so miserable not understanding it fully. Goal to be the best I could possible be – I'm never going to hit that, it is always out of reach, it's always next step. I think battle stops when you get rid of final negative coping mechanism.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
🎨 J.J. McCarthy sketch

Oct 6
“I have to be right bThe word “had” is really important – because it implies you had no other option. You felt you had to. Second, it implies whether or not friends were willing sympathy. You had to choose the only survival mechanism that was left at the moment which was receiving sympathy. Because we all know your friend can't fix your problem for you. If you call friend every single night and talk on regular basis about it – they'll grow sick of it, hearing about it.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
I am separate from these experiences. I have abilities still no matter how dark it gets, I'm still just going to keep doing the best that I can do. I admit that mental spiral that starts when you are in circumstantial problems that you're in, is designed in your mind to keep you trapped in the circumstances that you're in. Ask yourself what's more likely to improve your future. To make micro actions. Dismantle: alone, romantic, one thing at a time.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
Nine symptoms of BPD in DSM they manifest in weird delineations – jealousy for example is delineation from “fear of abandonment”. And if you hadn't fear of abandonment – you wouldn't have jealousy. The addictions that we have, that's not an exact symptom. But self-destructive, self-sabotaging symptom it is. Depression is not symptom, mood swings are though. When you solve BPD the rest of your problems crumble.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
If you have BPD you've almost been misdiagnosed with everything else. Bi-polar – it is mood swings really. You learn to have a center of self and you solve the symptom, you won't have OCD anymore. Won't be so obsessed controlling every thing in life trying to feel good about yourself. You're just going to feel good. And every thing you deal with all starts to fall away. The way to be in remission permanently: selfless is the answer.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
It's not about how hard life hits you. It's about how fast you get back every single time. It's about constantly standing back up. If for no other reason, to set an example for the people in your life who love you. “Long term help” - says a lot. I think you mean “Long term solution”. I like therapy – having third objective party, but I don't expect that to be long term solution. I've done a lot of programs, ultimately fell back to same behaviors.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
Going to hospital won't solve any of your real world problems. That's why rehab doesn't work long term. Everything is great when you are there but when you are dumped back out in the real world, you have real world problems. And those are the problems of which create drinking issue. BPD coping mechanisms they are not really our problems. They are solutions, just like substance. It's not good solution- screaming at other to get point across.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
You want people to like you, that people agree with you. You want people to get along with you. You want people to be around you, to love you, care about you. Well yelling is ineffective at every single thing I just listed that you say you want. Why would you yell? “It's because my emotions get so high” - then that there's the problem. The real problem is you don't know how to manage your emotions as they're building.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
Instead of trying to handle why it is that you can't tolerate criticism, judgment, disrespect. I had to be okay with that. I had to get over that, I had to decide that I didn't care what those people thought. If they didn't support it, it meant they were not my friend. In terms of comfort I don't enjoy all this stuff, I am introvert, I do it because it's right thing to do. I do it because nobody else is doing it. Even if it comes at cost what other people think of me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
I have enough dignity, self-respect and confidence and self-esteem that I know that there are bigger things that matter more than me. And that was the part of what got me out of this. It was me stopping that train of victim-hood where I was saying why me, it's always my fault, everybody hates me, nobody wants me around. Do something about it – part of is that attitude right there. Cortisol leaves the skin literally, and other absorb it. Kill the mood
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
BPD is esoteric, not many understand it. I spent so long, many years trying to get diagnosis so I knew what the problems were. When I knew what the problems were all the time – you're acting like a**hole. I had to get 10 different diagnosis that had nothing to do with this. When I got the big one – but then what, I wasted a decade. When I knew all along – you are hyper-sensitive, no self-confidence, everyone else need to tell you who you are.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 6
We are stubborn, we are strong. Those are positive attributes but apply these to negative coping mechanisms, you get a train wreck. It's more about direction of finding self-worth. They have to see their value on their own. It is gratifying when you earn something. Doing the stuff to make her proud of me. They don't want to stay with someone who is constantly insecure.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kUYoNxWp7M

Oct 7
🏀 LBA Serie A

Oct 7
I think it’s more a case of everyone else’s social skills that are atrophying.
Because when I’m in a social situation I’m fully engaged. I’m smiling, great with eye contact….but I get anxious all the time because everyone  giving short responses so I assume the problem is me. I’m boring them, they’re only operating my presence to be nice. So I eventually shut up and get quiet.

Oct 7
Before we're giving for the wrong reasons: we're doing all the stuff we know we should be doing to the best of our ability specifically so that people tell us that we are good enough. And that's not good enough. Doing it just for yourself is not good enough. But when you authentically make the world a better place – you start to fill that fullness that you've been seeking. That purpose that you know you need to find.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
We're measuring love incorrectly. We think love is someone's willing to give or do for us. Just as we can give our pain and suffering to the other people to experience and hopes that they might understand where they inevitably can't, they won't, they're incapable of understanding and then your pain replenishes right away. I can dump all my trauma onto someone and I get a minute of relief, now they're miserable too. My pain just replenished.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
We will burn bridges for all types of reasons. Because we allow our brain to be manipulated by our emotions. Our emotions are usually generated not by will of any kind – usually just in response to triggers. Some triggers are mental, other ones, most of them involve the external world. Something happened and our brain and then we have emotional response, our brain starts to develop actions and thoughts. Can be measured by symptoms.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
So if you allow your mind to be controlled based on solely what's happening around you. You are slightly late for an appointment and now appointment is bad. Now you are disappointed the whole week because it didn't turn out as you wanted. Why? It generated emotion, we give emotion to control the brain and we don't use logic. You will have a series of epiphanies as you go about this journey which will change you as a person.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
When I say making peace with them I don't mean accepting things you don't like. I mean understanding how stuff works so you can get closer to what you want without looking like monster the whole time. A neurotypical person already feels whole – they got validated appropriately in childhood. When we don't get validation or learn how to validate as child, we learn other ways of how to inappropriately validate ourselves: Victimhood, seek attention.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
Seeking sympathy, seeking attention, we learn if you give – people like you more because we need your approval so badly. To know that we approve ourselves we'll do whatever we can we'll keep doing it, to try and fill that. A neurotypical person already knows that they're good enough to exist. They already know that they have value. They already know that their opinion matters. They don't have to prove it to you. To prove they're right.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
They understand if you were to accept my opinion that doesn't mean you love me. Two people can love each other and have a different opinion. Neurotypical person does not feel a need to do things for other people to feel differently about themselves. They might care enough about you to do something for you so you feel better. Authentic giving, authentic selflessness. They have emotional permanence. They trust. No need to prove themselves to feel loved
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
I want to make distinction – you are allowed to get angry and you're allowed to be mad. That is not a symptom. The irrational over-reactive rage is the symptom. There's a difference between the two. And often when you are experiencing that type of rage, it's important to remember that you could have just been mad. And done a better job at getting what you want. Anger masks pain. You're in pain because something has gone wrong. Rage is not productive
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
You could be happy with a lot of people but that's not the point. The point is that you have to be happy with yourself. And one of the ways to be happy with yourself is by checking yourself. I have to step outside of my body and look myself in the argument and say what do I look like to the outside world right now. To this person in front of me screaming at trying to get me understand. And be honest, will you get what you want doing that?
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
You don't know it yet but the world needs you for stuff. And what you do will be dramatically different than what I do or any one of us does. But we're all meant to do stuff to make the world better place. It's about what you can offer to the world authentically. We have a lot of talents, intelligence, a lot of problem solving capabilities, a lot of skills, love to give. One thing that we don't have is direction. Comes as you resolve this journey.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X5q1od1v9U

Oct 7
Nobody gets accustomed or adjust to being harmed and betrayed. We get harmed each time. If you've been insulted 1000 times, 1001st still hurts. It may not have the same kind of shock and emotional impact it had the first time or even the first 100 times. But it still hurts. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse asks why can't I just get used to it. Radical acceptance central to healing frankly raises lots of other issues-is meant to lift self blame, untangle
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9Rj_H3HtEY

Oct 7
I see you tomorrow? You ain't go home and ..
- No, not tonight.
- But you want to. For real?
- Yeah. I do. But if it makes you feel any better, I can't do it myself. Because you'd be ashamed of me. Crazy right?
- It's probably the least crazy thing about you.
🎞️ Lethal Weapon

Oct 7
🇬🇱 Greenland's Wild West

 

Oct 7
🇬🇱 Greenland's Wild West

 

Oct 8
Discipline doesn't mean punishment in this scenario. Discipline means adherence to the activities and behaviors which of most likely are to get you closest to your goal. Outcome that you want. Changing perspective – one of the core essential constituents of getting to remission. Reason why a lot of therapy fail don't work because they focus heavily to target skills. Skills are good in the moment but don't change your perspective on triggers.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
You learning how to mitigate the emotion that you have when you feel disrespected for example will not going to stop you from feeling disrespected in the future – but a perspective change will. It's very difficult to remember even all the skill in the moment and difficult to practice them. And you fall back to the bottom and start over again. Perspective change would put permanently triggers at rest. I'd be hang up to what I'd lose.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
You can't take your stress on someone else. It doesn't help to give pain to someone else. No matter how much you want them to understand you, they'll never understand you. And even if they close to it to feel some of the pain and you properly explain it to them – you're not going to feel any better ultimately. Because the pain will continually regenerate for you. That something else missing to disrespect, unheard, unimportant, good enough.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
We don't want to think we are at fault because we have such a fragile sense of self – we can't take heat most of the time, so the first initial coping mechanism is usually passing the blame for something or someone else in the world. But that's ultimately unproductive – let's say this person is really at fault – they still can't fill that cannon ball size hole in your chest. That hole stays no matter how much they say they love you, or paint victim picture.
🟥 Sensitive S.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
No matter how many times you paint the picture that you're the victim – I know we hate that word, that is one of the hurdles we have to get over that victimhood mentality. Not easy, it was the only way we learned to get the affection that we so desperately desire. You learn that when you're a very little kid. When you can paint the picture that something has happened to you which is unfair or wrong that other people will comfort you.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
And because you didn't get the validation or comfort often times or learn how to do that yourself when you were young, that carries over into adulthood. We simply find masterful very intelligent ways to lace that kind of sympathy-seeking into our lives. It is not conscious decision, it's just a survival tactic that developed in the background, no sense of feeling shame over something you had no control over, materialized naturally on its own.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
Better to focus on solution. Because we don't want to feel like the victim and we don't want to look like victim and other people look at us like the victim, and that's how they start to look at us, complainer. When you try to figure out what perspective changes you might need – best place to start: where you complain the most. Where hot spots are. What needs fix in your life- you'll instantaneously come up with answer, but probably not what you like
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
Change doesn't have to be the same for everybody. Which is another reason I hated cookie cutter programs I was trying to get out of this – it's because all of the skills and ideas were universal. But one of the reason we feel so misunderstood is due to the uniqueness of how this manifests. You're so angry that partner can't show you love. They are not built on your frame. There's no sense to be upset about it.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
We only call BPD condition in the negative light because of the negative coping mechanisms that were attached to it. But if you're mining gold you're going to have to get a little dirty and get rid of undesirable stone around it. Doesn't make gold less valuable. You cannot make somebody happy. You can share happiness but not force them. You can't force someone to admit truth or gain awareness. You guide them. If there's no improvement-not worth it.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
“How can I stop putting people on pedestal” You do it because you think this person if they return the love, that you will finally be good enough. The problem is not being able to validate yourself, to feel good enough yourself, to like yourself, to know who you are to have value, purpose, self-esteem and self-confidence, and self-respect and dignity. Without those things you will seek it from other people. Love measured incorrectly to obtain it.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
We think if I give so much, if I just get this person to love me, I will be good enough. Reason to stop it – it is uncomfortable for them a lot of the times, for you, biggest reason would be resentment that you build as you see the rest of the world not care for you as you care for them. But you have to be able to put yourself on a pedestal. Get to a place where you like yourself enough to treat yourself like somebody you actually care about.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
The more you treat yourself right the less you'll worry so much about pleasing other people. Because getting accepted by people we think matter tends to matter more than accepting ourselves. You can't fix angry partner yourself. They have to legitimately live for worth fighting for that they see valuable– and that can't be you and it can't be person. Is he in denial? What got him in nihilistic state is perpetuate failure that we curate without realizing it.
🟥 Sensitive S.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
I'm not saying we're at fault for everything cause that's the mentality that we have. Where we have to be at fault for it. We're accountable and responsible for making changes–that is on productive side. But that takes perspective change where you start understanding that blame has really no useful qualities in this. You're not looking at the variables. Some variables are in your control, some are out of your control. Some may be influenced. Modified
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
Can people that have endured the abuse mimic signs of someone with BPD? - Yes there is trauma bond and you can experience it as neurotypical without BPD whatsoever. You can adopt, learn them coping mechanisms with someone long enough  you will adopt their personality traits – personality disorder, transferring thing is very common. The more likely you will become. BPD takes the center stage, all attention not noticing other condition for years.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MrnEySPDC0

Oct 8
📊 Social anxiety spectrum

Oct 8

Oct 8
I plan to have Republican in my Cabinet. Cause I don't feel burdened by letting pride in a way of a good idea.
🔤 Kamala Harris on “The View”

Oct 9
We don't just have fear of abandonment. I'm not just worried. I am also creating all those worlds where they are actually leaving. I'm simulating futures that are almost always from a negative slant, a negative perspective. That's a terrible way to live. Joy and peace become almost non-existent. You do that for enough time and you start to build up that apathy, nihilism. Feelings that there is no point, it ends up same way. We allow BPD to completely control our lives.
🟥
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
When I say control our mind, it's really control our emotions that are infiltrating our brain and controlling our mind. The emotions that come from not feeling good enough. Every scenario – whether it involved partner, family member, friend, teacher, supervisor, at work, at road, whatever – it was plagued with this kind of paranoia that I would always end up looking stupid. Paranoid what the people next to me thought.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
In reality whenever I'd make a quick glance at them I'd notice that they usually weren't looking at me at all. But that's not what was going on in my head. The possible perception of any judgment or any type of disappointment in me from any other human being even strangers that I had no idea who they were and turns out they weren't even looking at me. But that idea that they might be judging me would control and manipulate my life, how I interact by myself.
🟥 Sensitive S.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
When I am by myself in my own car. It would change the type of music I was listening to. It would change basically all of my actions. And all my thoughts too. Which takes away from all of the other thoughts that you could be having. Which might be worth and positive. You have a lot of things in life you could improve upon. People like us are born with ability to problem solve. That is why you're in this position at all.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
Because very early some bad things happened and your mind took over and said I'm going to protect this person. I'm going to protect myself. I'm going to put these mechanisms in place to solve this problem so that I'm never hurt again. That's why it is happening to you! You just haven't taken the time to try and retrain yourself with new problem solving, new solutions. You're stuck with solutions that “work” since childhood. Temporary band-aid.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
You need to learn how to problem solve because problems are everywhere. I would get anxiety leaving my house, thinking about leaving my house. I'd be looking out of windows before I'd go to my car if there was a hint of some neighbor out there and I thought I might talk to them – and I was worried about their perception of me. Them judging me, me looking stupid, me saying something dumb then asking me a question. I had no idea how to answer. I'd wait for them to go away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
I would position my car to a red light to not have to be next to people. If there was any type of test or work situation that was meant to validate me as a person, type of exam where I thought there was going to be extra criticism or extra judgment, it would control my entire life. Usually I'd also procrastinate to avoid all things terrifying to me. Which made my problem worse. More anxiety that build because you have no plan. We avoid plan, we avoid situations altogether
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
When you have BPD that voice is aggressive, it's meaner to you. It won't say this bad is warm, pillow is soft, you can lay here longer, you deserve it. It'll say you don't deserve anything in life, you're worthless, what's the point of getting out of the bed, why even try, nobody cares anyway, you don't make a difference in the world, nobody likes you. Have a plan to solve this apathy and nihilism that we are trapped in when we have BPD.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
Apathy happens over time. It builds up. It's very hard to get out of that type of mentality. Then I realized it's okay to do things for other people. But you have to do them for other people for the right reasons. Because other people deserve the best version of you. And it's really selfish to be born with the gifts, skills, talents and the passion and all the favorable features of borderline to just squander them and to live in self-pity.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
We can't really talk about our dreams because it is boring – I know everything you dream, you know what I dream so it's all the same, there is nothing to talk about. There's no growth. Opposition creates growth. Differences create memories, create fun, joy, happiness is shared – when it's interesting, exciting, entertaining. The root of this condition is not feeling good enough, having no sense of self. "I'm broken, crazy, it's all my fault".
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
There's a lot of different things that happen all throughout the day that are building up to this place where we feel like we're attacked. We feel like not good enough. We take those things and turn it into our explosive moment to expel energy, drain the tank. But now it will fill again with guilt, blame, shame , embarrassment, fault of which will keep us trapped in the cycle even longer. Break the cycle by you being cognizant what's been building up
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blsqvLDLoHs

Oct 9
Riggs, you can hide in the office, you can hide in the bottle, you can shoot your TV, get high - whatever. You don't have to talk to me. But did you talk to anyone?
🎞️ Lethal Weapon

Oct 9
You heard her, she wouldn't kiss me if I was the last boy on Earth.
- And you believed that?
- You think she was lying?
- Of course, she was.
🎞️ Little House: Look Back to Yesterday (1983)

Oct 9
What's it like knowing you're going to die?
- Well, at first, I was scared and angry. But, you know, once I started to think about my life I found that I had made myself some really wonderful memories. You know, things that I had done. All the good times. All the good friends. And, you know, the best thing about it all is that they all took place right here. ’Cause there's no better place on God’s Earth. Just don't waste the time you have on it.
🎞️ Little House: Look Back to Yesterday (1983)

Oct 9
Just go out and have a good time. Make yourself lots of good friends. You see, that way when it's your time to look back and find your memories, you'll see that you won't be scared or angry either.
🎞️ Little House: Look Back to Yesterday (1983)

Oct 9
Madonna watching and reacting to war clips from ex-Yugoslavia on French TV in early 1990s.
🎞️ In France With Madonna

Oct 10
How we get trapped living for the weekend. Which makes the week itself much more unpleasant. One of the reasons we have such hard time during the week because we are not enjoying life during week. We're going to jobs that we hate, we're doing stuff we don't like, that we feel forced to do. That is kind of entire crux of BPD problem anyway. Even if some of our coping mechanisms are inappropriate we still feel forced to do them.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
When you have BPD weekends become place where you might be able to express yourself more, you're not at work. Most of my episodes and splits would happen at weekend. How difficult we make everyday life when you have BPD everything becomes such a big deal. A drive to work is a trigger zone, conversation by water cooler, what boss has to say to you is trigger zone. How well your peers at work are doing – everything is trigger zone.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
After remission there are still tough times, things that can go wrong. Before remission we're shooting so much for perfection, we forget that life is tough in general. But you are better able to curate better perspective, there is no reason why going to work has to be such torture. No reason why you can't enjoy your drive to work, breakfast. Big project doesn't mean that everything in life has to have joy sucked out of it.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
You could change your personality traits. You can change how you look at yourself, how you look at everybody else. It does require some reconditioning though, it's not something that just clicks into place. Usually you have some work, arrive at the epiphanies, which we call growth. You do different behavior that you would normally do, and you get rewarded for it. Other times things you have to do are very scary or uncomfortable.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
It's easier to stay trapped in a place where less is required from you, or you are the victim. And then you have to do less. It took me a lot of different tries to find something I actually enjoy it 90% of time. I took my normal victim mentality that came with BPD and I gave it a life that would allow me to manipulate my environment and get out whatever I want. I allowed myself to believe I was entitled to that irresponsibility, my comfort.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
Label – high school teacher, costume you put on – that's when you start becoming trapped in a place where you never figure out who you really are. And you don't feel satisfied when you don't know who you are. It's important to figure out what your identity is. There's a real you deep down. Not understanding who that is entirely and being so fragile. You could pick things that you want to be. Pick someone great, sacrifice for other for right reason, provider.
🟥 Sensitive S
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
If someone says something passive-aggressive to me I take a step back before I speak, usually if I don't know what to say. And I think why they might be saying what they're saying or doing. Each person seeks some level of comfort, some level of security, happiness and joy. Most of the time people are not trying specifically to be evil. Even people who have very malicious intent I spend the time thinking why. What is it that they want.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

 Oct 10
When I relate to them, I'm less angry. When I understand them better I'm less upset. When I take time to put in the work, empathy, my outcome's always better. What I have to say makes more sense, and it's easier to say and it's productive. Because we all have something we want out of our arguments. Previously we would be do actions which would push us far from what we want. Changing how you do stuff get you where you want to be.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
You need to be accountable for that you owe. Where are you accountable? You may need to use some other skills to figure that out. Things like objective analysis. Without your own biased opinion. Or having real actual empathy that you don't let your biased opinion taint. Start asking yourself why somebody is doing something. You tell “they were upset but they shouldn't be upset”  You stole it from them. In mind you think why they did something.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
You couldn't just let them talk. Even in your own mind. That's how tough it is with BPD. It's very hard in the heat of the moment. It is ironic because we know what people are feeling far before they feel it. But when we are triggered and go to emotional state where we're making mistakes, disruption, episodes and splits, difficult to have right empathy for them. We're more concerned about right fighting.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
Isolation – you're still carrying pain, suffering. Now you have additional suffering and pain of I'm alone. Happiness is best when shared, Positive interpersonal relationships and happiness with other people. That's what generates joy, satisfaction with someone's life. Focus on why I can't take criticism. Why I always feel not good enough. The bar is set really high, you don't know how to meet it. Parents having skills to validate you, you wouldn't have this problem.
🟥 S.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
It's not parent's fault either. That's the problem. We keep wanting it to be somebody's fault because then we know. There's a difference between symptoms and features. Severe lack of accountability is like jealousy, favorite person complex–they're paradigms. Why we lack accountability. We associate being accountable being blamed, at fault. In beginning we were in such invalidating environment, at fault all the time, felt wrong like victim. Displaced us from accountability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
It would ingrain itself into the most deepest crevices of my life and I would not even realize it. I would be jealous over anybody else's success because the attention wasn't on me. If attention wasn't on me, I didn't feel good enough. But no amount of external validation like that will ever fill you the way you need to be filled. You will keep pursuing it because you'll find people who'll love bomb hell out of you and feel good for a month.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
Everything became a contest whether I was good enough. That kind of living creates world that is uncomfortable for everyone. And then you look like insecure, unsupportive, controlling, manipulative person, there is no reward there. You have to be okay with other people sometimes don't agree with you. The end. And have respect for that opinion. Not everybody is going to like you, stay with you. We are all different, that is reality.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
And you have to be tolerant to some extent because other people are not the same as you. Moving houses, it is also changing jobs, changing partners, changing friends, changing interests, groups, affiliations, religions, political parties – all of it is a mechanism you don't know who you are, and you are trying to latch onto things to fill your identity – and the other side of that is running from the past. Belief that fresh start is the answer.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
That it won't be the same as old memories. “This is a new version of you”. I'd often rearrange my office and furniture to make it look new again so that I could have a new life. Because I was so disappointed about everything I done. Next chapter. But here is the problem – you can run all you want, but the demons are just going to keep chasing you. All your problems come with you. You have to understand, intervene, stop cycle.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10
We think when we will be in remission that everything will be perfect. No. Everything will be neurotypical. Neurotypical people have problems, dilemmas, emotions, crisis,issues. When you stop behaving inappropriately and having these negative coping mechanisms, you still have to deal with life. We should not aim for perfect. Just be aiming for improvement. And that never stops. What can I do better today, than yesterday. If I've been insensitive:Why?
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egIFGTRoFMM

Oct 10

Oct 10
:transgender: RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars

Oct 10
You know, it just makes me so mad when somebody makes you feel so bad you can’t tell 'em how you really feel about them.
🎞️ Little House: The Last Farewell (1984)

Oct 10
⚽ Italia - Belgio

 

Oct 11
It's tough to see some of the behavior. In childhood we start to develop behaviors without even realizing it. The objective subconsciously of BPD mind is to control the environment – to avoid being hurt. That is the foundational motivation why our brains are doing what they're doing. So you may have every intention of getting better – and you can't. Awareness is very important. Needs to change: reasons, justifications, excuses that mind come up with.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
Human mind seeks a level of security and comfort. With BPD someone who lived in tumultuous life all the time that level of security and comfort however superficial it may be, it is more comfortable than the idea that we must pursuit change. 5 things to get to remission: awareness, admit condition impacted your life, 2nd is motivation – good reason to get better. Doing it for yourself. 3 – will to change. Without it you do same stuff.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
4- skills and perspective changes. Get ahead of symptoms. Try and prepare for triggers, handle the triggers as they come. The perspective change part is that you ultimately get rid of lot of problems permanently. 5 – self validation. Understand who you are, awesome, it is just so hidden under layers of coping mechanisms pain agony suffering judgment criticism, feelings of not being good enough. Disciplined person does it anyway and you don't mind for the right reason.
🟥 S
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
I can craft an existence and a personality and characteristics and traits and behaviors that make the world want to be around me that make me happy with myself. I can stop inappropriate coping mechanisms by focusing on why they are happening. There are certain common things that get people stuck in this process, paradigm – stuck on piece of past trauma and they will not move past it until they are ready. How their father treated them. Ruminating it
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
But you are still alone in your mind. And no amount of lashing out, being angry, trying to scare people, threats, breaking stuff is going to make you feel better. All it's going to do is push all people out there who might be associated with you. There's always a reason, once you figure out you realize all your present behaviors are being modified based on this inability to make peace with the past. My remission journey was 12 years.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
You could be around somebody who has it and develop this – be it your father, mother, older sibling, a friend, your partner. Not all of this process is being perfect – this is another part of awareness. Perfect way of responding, outcome. We are not aiming at perfect. We are aiming at social norm. I am calling arguments and trauma – data. Outside applied to character: I am worthless, not good enough. Or other side – it's their fault. Waste of time.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11

And you can't just tell people some stuff because they don't get their lesson, they don't learn. Every way that we are thinking and responding to the world is going through the BPD filter. It's hard from the inside to actually be able to figure out what you might not be aware of. You have to know how to control your emotions, that's it just simple. In the beginning we have no idea that there is a cycle, patterns. We only know there is problem.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
You have normal day, then there is trigger zone. Can't control those. It's outside world. Emotions are next. That's why we call it interventive emotional skills. Because this is the first point where you can intervene. You can't stop people from upsetting you, being late, missing a flight, someone insult you. But when emotions build that's when you're suppose to intervene. When you notice negative emotion built, that's when you're meant to intervene.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
If you don't intervene the emotions build and they lead to symptom development. The symptoms start to bash into each other and they lead to consequence zone. Which includes episodes and splits. Things that have consequences. After that we go to guilt blame shame embarrassment fault arena. Where we waste tons of time – analogy of going to jail for the crime. Then half of us have apology phase. Then we go back to normal day. Break the cycle.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11
It's data. Let me not run it through my BPD filter. Let me look at everything people in my life are telling me and try to figure out what's real and what isn't. What would improve my life, what would tear me down. Then there is a thing of being weaponized.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POvIBSbnTtg

Oct 11

Oct 11
"Vivien would get along fine for few weeks, months, be perfectly normal and friendly. Then suddenly a complete turn around. We'd see a completely different girl. Moody, petulant, rude, often hysterical. Knowing what we know today about these things, one would have to say that Vivien was a disturbed young girl, disturbed in some way that she had no control over."
This shows classic lack of understanding or sympathy about what she was going through. Now, drugs can control it.
📻 BBC Radio 4 Extra

Oct 11

Oct 11

🎞️ Absolutely Fabulous

 

Oct 11
🇱🇺 Luxemburg

Oct 11

You think the British are snobbish ...the Russians fearful, the French immoral, the Germans brutal and all Latin Americans lazy. What's your plan? To cut humanity out? Are you anti-people and anti-life? Must you suffocate every natural instinct in our daughter too? Must you label young lovemaking as cheap and wanton and indecent? Must you persist in making sex itself a filthy word?
🎞️ A Summer Place (1959)

Oct 11

🎵 Benson Boone

Oct 11

📊 Social Anxiety scale

Oct 12
List of Common CPTSD symptoms
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 12
CPTSD is a learned set of responses. And a failure to complete numerous important developmental tasks. This means that it is environmentally not genetically caused. In other words, unlike the most of diagnosis is confused with, it is neither in-born or characterological. As such, it is learned. It is not inscribed in your DNA. It is a disorder caused by nurture – or rather the lack of it. Not nature. What is learned can be unlearned.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 12
Reducing CPTSD to “panic disorder” is like calling food allergies chronically itchy eyes. Over-focusing treatment on the symptoms of panic in the former case and eye health in the latter does little to get at root causes. most of the diagnoses mentioned above are typically treated as innate characterological defects rather than as learned maladaptations to stress – adaptations that survivors were forced to learn as traumatized children.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13

Too many times we normalize the limp.“I am not that smart” You don't realize that's a limp. You're learning to live with it. Letting it to be excuse not to rise higher. You have to know:you will run again. You are injured now but healing is coming. Don't let that limp cause you to settle where you are,give up on your dreams,where you start accepting mediocrity, dysfunction, learning to live with the anger,low selfesteem. That's not who you are, that's a limp
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HUCNfKksgU

Oct 13
If you never felt good about yourself, always felt insecure, unattractive, not worthy – even though it's not true, that becomes normal. All you've seen is poverty, anger, addictions – you don't expect to have abundance, peace and freedom. Made accommodations for those weaknesses can become who you are. “That's how I was raised. Nobody made me feel valuable” You may have valid explanations for why you are that way, but don't let it be excuse to stay that way.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HUCNfKksgU

Oct 13
The superego morphs into a totalitarian critic that trumps the development of a healthy ego. [The ego develops later than the superego. In psychology, the term ego represents what we typically mean when we use terms like my “self” or my identity. The healthy ego is the user friendly manager of the psyche. Unfortunately, Cptsd-inducing parents thwart the growth of the ego by undermining the development of the crucial egoic processes of selfcompassion and self-protection
📖 Complex PTSD: From S.

Oct 13
I am not called to judge you, I'm called to love you. You have to realize every person is on the journey. Where they are right now is not where they're going to end up. They're not a finished product. They're still on a potters will. But so often we judge people where they are today. We write them off and think I'm not going to associate with them. They're mess, they are done. Plant seeds in their heart–your love, friendship, encouragement to make difference
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSgZNWLvh9s

Oct 13
Don't make holier-than-thou attitude. Take off the judgmental glasses. If not for the Grace of God you could be right where they are. The same thing we're tempted to be judgmental and critical about if for not God goodness we could be struggling with as well. If you could walk in their shoes, raised in their family, fought the battles that they've fought, you would understand why they are where they are. Areas you are strong in are the mercy of God.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSgZNWLvh9s

Oct 13
If there was a chance of changing your mind I'd talk about Miss Kendall. Of whom you so obviously disapprove.
- Yes, for using sex like some people use a fly swatter.
- I don't suppose it would matter to you that she was probably forced to do whatever she did to protect herself.
- To protect herself from what?
- Exposure and assassination. You see, Mr. Thornhill, she... She's one of our agents. ... I'm afraid you have put her in an extremely dangerous situation.
🎞️ North By Northwest (1959)

Oct 13
Jesus said It's the sick who need the doctor, not the healthy. I am not here to judge, I am here to love. We don't have to straight everybody out, all we have to do is to sow the seeds. Love never fails. When you show love, you're showing God. When you're merciful, understanding, accepting–that heals, restores, brings new life. For too long, the church in general has been known for what we are against. Against this, that. I want to be known for what I am for
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSgZNWLvh9s

Oct 13
Keep showing this unconditional love. Not “I love you if I agree with you” “I'll accept you if you fit into my little box” No – our attitude should be: if you have good morals or no morals, I'm still going to love you. If you're clean or sober or strung out and addicted I'm still going to love you. If you're gay or straight, Republican of Democrat , black of white, Muslim or Christian, believer or atheist it doesn't matter, I'm still going to love you.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSgZNWLvh9s

Oct 13
🇫🇷 Le journal de la Défense

Oct 13
🏉 CANAL SPORTS CLUB

Oct 13
🏉 CANAL SPORTS CLUB

 

Oct 13
Rageaholic narcissists are infamous for using other people as dumping grounds for their anger. They are addicted to the emotional release of catharting in this way. The relief often does not last long before they are looking for another fix of venting their spleen. This type of narcissism is pure bullying, and bullying alone can cause ptsd. If it goes on long enough as it does with bullying parents in a dysfunctional family, it can cause Cptsd.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile Pad-Lyo

Oct 13
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile Pad-Lyo

Oct 13
⚽ Téléfoot

Oct 13
I think you came up to see me.
- Now, why would I want to see you of all people?
- I don't know, but you must've gone to a lot of trouble to find out who I was and where I lived.
- It was no trouble at all. I simply called my father's newspaper. Besides, I was coming up anyway. I've already told you that.
- You really like me, huh?
- I loathe you. I can't say I like your seagulls much, either.
🎞️ The Birds (1963)

Oct 13
Of all the 4F’s, freeze types seem to have the deepest unconscious belief that people and danger are synonymous. While all 4F types commonly suffer from social anxiety as well, freeze types typically take a great deal more refuge in solitude. Some freeze types completely give up on relating to others and become extremely isolated. Outside of fantasy, many also give up entirely on the possibility of love.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13
Psychoeducation about their parents’ role in creating their fawn response has helped many of my clients. Many instantly grasped that their codependence comes from having been continuously attacked and shamed as selfish for even the most basic level of healthy self-interest.
One fortyish client estimated that she had scorned herself as “selfish” countless times, until one night she had the epiphany that she was by far not selfish enough .
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13
Recovering requires being able to recognize inner-critic catastrophizing so that we can resist it with thought-stopping and thought-correction. I then encouraged him to refuse to indulge this process, and to angrily say “no” to the critic every time it tried to scare or demean him. [thought-correction]. I also helped him enumerate his many successes at work, at school and at life in general.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13
The great psychologist, Erik Eriksen, gave us a great tool when he formulated this emotional mathematics equation. “Shame is blame turned against the self”. Our parents were too big and powerful to blame, so we had to blame ourselves instead. Now, however we are free of them, and we can cut off the critic’s shame supply by redirecting unfair self-blame back to our parents.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13

Accordingly, I encourage you to immediately confront the critic’s negative messages with positive ones like those in the list at the beginning of the chapter. This is essential in Cptsd recovery, because a single unconfronted toxic thought can act like a virus and rage infectiously out of control into a flu-like mélange of shame, fear and helplessness.
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 13
🏀 Basket Zone

Oct 13

🗑️ LBA Serie A (live)

Oct 13

He cannot stop grumbling because no amount of complaining about the wrong thing releases the real pain that is driving his obsessive grievance. If he were able to look deeper at what is really troubling him, he might learn that his wife’s constructive feedback is continuously flashing him back into the fear and shame he felt when his mother verbally abused him.
Verbal Ventilation Heals Abandonment
📖 Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Oct 14

Rugby Club

Oct 14

🎨 Sebastian Vollmer sketch

 

Oct 15
🎨 Ryan Guzman sketch

Oct 16

🇮🇪 Irlands wilde Inseln

Oct  16

🇮🇪 Ireland's wild islands
Winter on the edge of Europe

Oct  17

🐕 A dog  at the top of the Great Pyramid of Giza
https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/animals/paraglider-catches-dog-chasing-birds-on-top-of-great-pyramid-of-giza/vi-AA1skrXK

 

Oct 17

I didn't even want to come here, now these people are standing up for us? I mean, now I realise that you gotta take chances. Because you never know, you know what I mean?
I'm not gonna worry about if people accept me or not. I'm gonna make Hollywood wherever I am at.
🎞️ To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

Oct 17

...and I will say, "My name is Miss Vida Boheme." "Your approval is not needed."
- Approval neither desired nor required.
- "But I will take your acceptance."
🎞️ To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

Oct 17
🚔 flic story

Oct 17

🚓 Notruf Hafenkante

Oct 17

🇸🇪 Schwedens Badewanne - Die Küste von Halland

Oct 17

🇸🇪 Sweden's Bathtub - The Halland Coast

Oct 17

🇸🇪 Sweden's Bathtub - The Halland Coast

 

Oct 18

Trauma, Gabor Maté says, is not what happens to you - but what happens inside you. You can't separate individuals from their environment, multigenerational history, culture where they grew up in. What do I download? "The world is a dangerous place, I'm alone, and I'm abandoned therefore I mustn't be lovable, good enough. I grew up with that unconscious sense. That's unavoidable stress, can't do anything.
Most of the people try to do their best.
📻 BBC Radio 4, Gabor Maté
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0023ycy

Oct 18
And if they don't do their best, or even if they hurt their kids, that's only because they have unresolved trauma from their own childhoods. You are talking about extreme circumstances that are imposed from the outside. There's not much that she can do to change, not much that she could have done. Gaza is not what I write my book for. I write my books for people living in everyday culture, where facing stress is - may have some choices.
📻 BBC Radio 4, Gabor Maté
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0023ycy

 Oct 18
if they are well informed: There are some choices that you can do. Under dire conditions - I can't advice people. I never thought of my work compulsion and addiction until I really begun to work with addict clients. We make huge mistake when we transpose this word "Normal" to social conditions. Norm doesn't mean it is healthy or natural. Things we consider normal very often cause illness and dysfunction.
📻 BBC Radio 4, Gabor Maté
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0023ycy

Oct 18
"Stiff up your lip", 'get on with it' - British phrase actually denotes abandonment of self and ignoring one's own emotions. As mammals, we are emotional creatures and our mind and body are inseparable. Our emotions are inextricably linked to our physiological health. People who repress anger are repressing their immune system. And immune system turns against them. That's what happens in auto-immune disease. Like Lupus - you are result of trauma.
📻 BBC Radio 4, Gabor Maté
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0023ycy

Oct 18
You can "stiff up your lip" all you want and go to doctor and be on medication for the rest of your life. Where you can actually recognize that the disease is your body saying No, 'cause you didn't. And if you learn to say No, and assert yourself and become your true self, the disease itself it not independent entity. Disease is manifestation of your life. Change relationship with life, changes process.
📻 BBC Radio 4, Gabor Maté
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0023ycy

Oct 18
🍹 Fanta - limited edition

Oct 19
🎵 Anna Majidson - echo feat. November Ultra (2021)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8oGy3UpIms

Oct 19

Oct 19

🏉 Rugby Club

Oct 20

You are a gift, treasure,prize possession. If someone doesn't recognize your value, they don't treat you like a masterpiece that you're with respect, with honor, that's the sign that season has changed. You have to move forward. People that can't live without you, people that love being with you,can't wait to see you–sometimes the reason we're not seeing this people is we're holding on to the wrong people. Quit chasing someone who doesn't want to be with you
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa5ybuB0KLc

Oct 20
Letting them control you, manipulate you, hoping that you'll gain their approval. Then they'll let you in their friend group. Here's the problem. If you do convince them, they become your friend, how you started that relationship is how you're going have to maintain it. It's going to be constant struggle to keep performing, manipulating, conniving. Be who you are, not live to force people like you, lower your standard. Someone doesn't want - let them go.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa5ybuB0KLc

Oct 20
Let it go. Quit dwelling on it, re-living the hurt, hoping that you can pay them back or try to change their mind. I'm asking you to be at peace with those who walked away. Quit holding on to people that don't want to be there. You're not suppose to chase people to love you, accept you, believe in you. You don't need them. This takes the pressure off – no more striving, straining trying to convince people to be for you. That is labor in vain.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa5ybuB0KLc

Oct 20
⚽ Téléfoot

 

Oct 20
When a child is young and their brain is still developing it actually causes damage to the brain. If a child is constantly told that they are stupid, not good enough, and that message they hear every day of their early life, this will then be a belief that they hold about themselves. As an adult they end up having emotional flashbacks. Original memory stored in the brain, when the child was criticized by their parents.
🟥 Complex PTSD- How to manage emotional flashbacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uDPJfj25e8

Oct 20
🇮🇹 Linea Verde - Devétéya a Cogne, la festa

Oct 20
🔥 Fire Force

Oct 20
🚔 FLIC STORY

Oct 20
🚔 FLIC STORY

Oct 20
🏉 Rugby Club

Oct 20
🏉 Rugby Club

Oct 20
🏉 Rugby Club

 

Oct 20
🏉 Rugby Club

 

Oct 21
You are bigger than what is making you anxious.
🟥 magnusdavies
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DLG8csacFI0

Oct 21
🎵 Bebel Gilberto - So Nice (Summer Samba) (Mario Caldato Jr Remix) (2001)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nkpmoTzxDw

Oct 21
We think our only value comes from what we can give and do. That we're not valuable just in general. Just being here. Lending ear and not try to solve their problem. Just hear them. And that be enough of a currency, just be a good friend in general. Just a reliable friend. And that could make you valuable enough. That idea is so foreign to us. Instead we even have to sacrifice pieces of ourselves to prove loyalty and commitment.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqgVdKoWH2o

Oct 21
We're never reasonable in survival mechanisms. Survival mechanism does not mean appropriate. It's the only thing you know how to do. But if you learned how to do other things, learned how to re-analyze the scenarios, how to change your perspective, learn how to respond and not react, in between how you would reacted and respond, you'll find that you ger a whole lot more of what you want out of life. Take those lessons without emotional content.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqgVdKoWH2o

Oct 21
Social anxiety is reaction to abuse - in ACoA childhood and later on - by narcissists around us. We can see in America and other countries that percentage of mentally ill evil psychopaths around us is 49 percent. We are not imagining the danger. People are really sick around us - and we are reacting to their abuse and manipulation. We are not being irrational
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2024/06/my-yt-comments-on-social-anxiety-2024.html

Oct 22
One of the indicators that you're in a split is the rapid change of thought or idea about something. So you don't over the course of time decide that this thing is bad for you, based on foundation of solid evidence, instead the BPD brain will just flip like switch. And it will immediately cut this person out. You have rise of emotional chemicals that are "helping" you make decision, destroying your decision making process, logic. Base on how you feel
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi_hk2If60

Oct 22
I look for the intention, for having empathy. Because a lot of times the things that we think are happening they never intended on hurting us or upsetting us. And that changes it for me enough to avoid the split. I also make no actions in reaction category. Instead I focus on responses which takes time. It may appear as if there is no time in between trigger and bad coping, impulsivities. It felt like it came instantaneously, you pour all emotions
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi_hk2If60

Oct 22
You might be extremely mad, angry, you're not going to get your point across like this. You're not going to get what you want like this. And you'll also going to lose stuff – where plates are flying across the room. I know you're upset in the moment but remember this: this will not help you. You can get it much better tomorrow. Instead of having to pay the cost of dignity, self respect, reputation, understand what you're paying.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi_hk2If60

Oct 22
Phase II – you start to realize the rest of the world just doesn't get it. And that yelling, screaming, whining and complaining and throwing fits and episodes don't actually help you get what you want, so you say I'm not going to make anybody else suffer anymore, I'm going to stop the outbursts. And then you realize I still feel bad. I'm still suffering. Then learn to get over the suffering, make peace, let things go.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi_hk2If60

Oct 22

Oct 22
🎭 Marino Faliero

Oct 22
🕵️‍♂️ Spy Guy

Oct 23

Use those interventions. Went from panic and the next thing you know you are calm. Looks like being open, feeling open, there's an expansive feeling, there are different thoughts. A-ha moments, epiphanies, curiosity. Curiosity is only happening in that regulated state. And that's a great sign you're there. Multiple parts of brain being active doing what they need to do.
🟥 Shifting yourself out of a panic attack
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/l8jaDZpnacY

 Oct 23

I also think that people should not be afraid to express their opinions. And I think no one wants America where people are worried about retribution of what people would do if you make your opinion known.
🇺🇸 Eminem

Oct 23
Imagine a child faced with the dilemma of whether to share their candy. At Kohlberg's pre-conventional level, the child might think, "If I don't share, I'll get in trouble". Here, moral reasoning is driven by avoiding punishment or seeking rewards.
⬜ Foundations of Morality, Kinnu app

Oct 23
You are in victim mode when you are in condition. And we don't like to be told we're victims, because it pulls the curtain up what is going on here. The victimhood is control tactic, it is defense mechanism. It's a survival technique that you learned. You started out as a victim and you learned how to play those cards – those the cards you got. Until you decide you want different outcome in life and being victim is not helping you, it is hurting you.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLGo_dsbvAw

Oct 24

When you're in a flashback, it's not a good time to have a major conversation. Or try to confront people in your life about why they're making you feel this way. It's really just going to create a lot of trouble. If you know you're in a flashback, you can say to yourself “I'm in a flashback”. In fact, that is on number 1 on Pete Walker's list of what to do about a flashback. And right away that breaks the spell. It's time to collect yourself.
🟥 EMOTIONAL FLASHBACK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo2DkvIR6Dw

Oct 24

Maladaptive behaviors spread and the best way to stop the cycle is to stop their control over you.

Oct 24
You start to think what's wrong with me. There's something wrong with me, I'm messed up, crazy, broken. That's very shame inducing and it's very hard to move forward from a shame based emotional states. So you wind up stuck in limbic system loop where you're triggered, you have an emotional flashback, it induces shame. Shame gets you spiraling again. It happens again and again, emotional flashback trigger shame, you get stuck in that loop.
🟥 Emotional Flashbacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhMCxr7KU2I

Oct 24
Emotional Flashback throws you into a shame based emotional state. On the emotional vibration chart, shame is the lowest vibration there is. In fact, it's like one step above death – it's very difficult to feel motivated to feel enough when you are operating at such low frequencies. Shame is emotionally crippling. If you grew up in an emotionally abusive childhood you probably were never allowed to have your own perspective. Punished, ignored or made feel bad.
🟥 Emotional
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhMCxr7KU2I

Oct 24
Child ability to just be themselves is being abandoned. In that abandonment what our brain does as a coping skill is it starts to associate assertiveness =bad, punishment, abandonment, that's bad. It eliminates assertiveness from your personality. So it's a coping skill that brains puts into effect, to try to keep you safe. Try to help you avoid abandonment, avoid the pain. That coping skill becomes maladaptive in adulthood. Brain remembers the pain
🟥 Emotional Flashbacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhMCxr7KU2I

Oct 24
The amount of fear and the inability to act how you know you can – you know you are capable of it – but the inability to do so is an emotional flashback. That's coming from the past. That's how you can tell you are in emotional flashback: you feel like you can't do something that you know you can. You know you are fully capable in saying No, capable in giving your perspective, just being yourself but in certain situations, that evaporates.
🟥 Emotional Flashbacks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhMCxr7KU2I

Oct 24
🎄 Mini gingerbread houses

Oct 24
Negative mindset has a tendency to compound. “I can't do anything, I'm worthless”. With that kind of attitude you will remain in the position where you are not productive. You have to start understanding the difference between a label and actual personality trait. Coolest part of not knowing what your personality traits are – is you kind of getting pick them. Get to choose, you want to be bad-ass who always finishes what they start.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4e2PBoRgk0

Oct 24
They will never get it. So you are wasting your time dramatically trying to make them understand. The reason why we waste so much time trying to help other people understand us is because, and this is link in chain, they can't understand it, and there's no point in trying. You think it's worth it, to get them understand because you think it will solve problems. You think it will help. You think that's part of the answer. It's not. They will never get it, fix it, help.
🟥
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4e2PBoRgk0

Oct 24
If you are suffering from anything remotely related to BPD, it's worth getting ahead of it. Because this condition, even watered one or two symptoms is enough to completely destroy your life. That's why I don't care much about labels as much as I care about fixing the behavioral problems. Where are the deficits, issues, where are we making mistakes, losing people. Let's fix that, let's focus on that. That's more productive than focusing if I have something or not.
🟥 Sens.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4e2PBoRgk0

Oct 24
🚔 Notruf Hafenkante

Oct 25
The root of it is not feeling good enough. If we felt good enough we wouldn't have such a slanted perspective on everything. That skew in reality is causing a great deal of distress in your life, it's one of the most contributing factors to all of the tougher times–it's hard when people cannot have the most basic conversation with you, you misconstruing it. It's very hard to get rid off. Taking everything you think and putting under rigorous analysis
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Vc7WbpJwJU

Oct 25
Focus on the perspective changes that get you ahead of the triggers. Once you dismantle the disrespect trigger for instance and you realize that I will never be disrespected again even if somebody tries to disrespect me I won't ever feel that emotional response from that – you won't have to worry about over-reacting and your impulsivity will start to vanish. These problems are felt by NT people on regular basis, their reactions are not so extreme.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Vc7WbpJwJU

Oct 25
⛵ Ship models

Oct 25
🎨 Pau Cubarsí sketch

Oct 25
🕒 🕑 Ende der Sommerzeit

Oct 25
🕑 🕐 Clocks go back one hour

Oct 26
🗞️ Flaschen zuruck

Oct 26
🗞️ Bild using AI to depict the story.

Oct 26
The speed with which they turn from seeming to love you to hating you is breathtaking. You may be dealing with borderline high conflict person. Reasonable, charming, friendly – then screaming and blaming and attacking. It stands out, it can even be shocking. Person with this trait can be very charming, very friendly, very sincere, very loving, very appealing, very attractive yet when you get to know them these emotions come out.
🟥 The High-Conflict Borderline Personality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5VY3ewnB2g

Oct 26
🇮🇹 Linea Verde

Oct 26
Cognitive is thinking, learning to tell yourself positive phrases. Changing your thinking. When something feels hopeless, it to say no. I don't know what the future is. This may be a hopeful situation. So I'm not going to jump to conclusions. Things like that are cognitive part. The behavioral part is practicing new behaviors. For example saying I am angry with you, rather than demonstrating it by throwing things or storming out.
🟥 The High-Conflict Borderline Personality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5VY3ewnB2g

Oct 26
📽️ Gremlins (1984)

Oct 26

Oct 26
🟨 2019 calendar can also be used in 2030, 2041, 2047 & 2058 (you should live so long)

Oct 26
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 3a giorn

Oct 26
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile - 3a giorn
Petrarca Rugby - Valorugby Emilia

Oct 27
🟨 Simpsons Comics

Oct 27
🎵 WORLD BRAIN - Open (2024)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRzw4U8EvVQ

Oct 27
🎞️ Meurtres à...

Oct 27

 👮 FLIC STORY

Oct 27
⚽ Téléfoot

Oct 27
⭐ The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce invites you to watch our
Walk of Fame ceremonies live from anywhere in the world exclusively
on walkoffame.com

Oct 27
👖 Numéro Homme

Oct 27
👖 Numéro Homme

Oct 27
🏀 Basket Zone

Oct 27
🏀 Basket Zone

Oct 27
You know, I'd always suspected as much. You are an eidetiker.
- I'm not psychic, Doctor.
- No, this is different. More akin to artistic imagination. You can assume the emotional point of view of others even those that might scare or sicken you.
🎞️ Red Dragon (2002)

Oct 27
I'm little embarrassed by my actions. If you'd live my life, you would understand. -Don't live your life with regrets, Samantha. Go after your dreams because you are on here only for a short time. If you're lucky.
🎞️ Ghosts (USA)

Oct 27
That was the only experience I had with the Prom. So forgive me, not getting invited to a Ghost prom gives me a little PTSD.
- Okay, you really need to move on.
- Oh I'm sorry Pete, it was a very traumatic for me.
- No. From that spot on the wall. Pretty soon we'll be exposing some wiring.
🎞️ Ghosts (USA)

Oct 27
The truth is, she HATES herself and takes out her self-loathing on everyone else. Emotionally immature child.

Oct 28
🏉 Rugby Club

Oct 28
🏉 Rugby Club

Oct 28
Just recognize it's ok not to feel ok. Thank your brain for doing this job, trying to keep you safe. But begin to recognize when it's really affecting you. What are you actually feeling. Get curious about it. Make that something you have some power in. You can use to counter-act this stress system making you jittery and revved up to answer to danger. That's what your brain is doing. Breathing, moving, walk, because when we have a stress reaction, we are geared up to move. That's our physiology

Oct 28
🍴 Diner aux chandelles

Oct 28
🇩🇪 Berchtesgadener Land

Oct 28
🎞️ 'Friends' Was Originally Called 'Six of One'

Oct 28
⚽ Ballon d'Or - le tapis rouge

Oct 29
Framework for our lives: we can get out of perfectionistic thinking and just start taking messy action. The idea is that humans in general have a tendency to focus on what we haven't accomplished, versus what we have accomplished. The problem of this excessive focus on the gap and how we're not where we are need to be is 1) it undermines our confidence, 2) holds us back from truly understanding how much progress we made
🟥 Caren Magill | ADHD Coach + Multipotentialite
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igr_gbW0oSE

Oct 29
Stress usually involve other people. If you were able to fail in private – wouldn't be a big deal. I could fail in private all day. The stress isn't there in private. It's not the same. Whereas where other people are involved – stress is amplified. It is not fear of failure that really bothers us. Especially with BPD. It is the fear of what other people will think when you fail. That's the problem. That's where most of issues come from.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqenLaQX3zs

Oct 29
Idea of tolerance is having endurance for these stressful situations. And having ability to look pass the stress without letting it to overwhelm you. When you understand the basic concept that a lot of stress revolves around other people, it revolves social setting, interactions, the interpersonal relationships, you're going to have a better time tolerating this type of situation and failure. But you have to wrap around idea if other people weren't involved...
🟥 Sensitive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqenLaQX3zs

Oct 29
Shame is a facet of distress. So is embarrassment, guilt, fault. Judgment is also facet, criticism. The reason why we don't feel good enough is because there are other people and other ideas of living to compare ourselves to. Again – you take the other people out of equation and all of the sudden there is no need to feel good enough because there's no one next to you. Isolation would solve problem but you're still not going to be happy there.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqenLaQX3zs

Oct 29
These coping mechanisms which make it so hard for us, it's not like we chose those things, they developed early in life. Makes us perpetual victim throughout life. It started out so early. We learn how to cope: get our affection, attention, needs met. Usually found in sympathy and pity. Endurance may be better phrase than tolerance. Tolerance translated struggling through it. Where enduring it – enduring the idea that other people have opinions.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqenLaQX3zs

Oct 29
We are like the best lawyers in the world. Everybody used to tell me “You should be a lawyer”. I took it as a compliment but what they were actually trying to say is Shut the hell up. We get to the point in arguing where other person just don't give care anymore, they give in just to get us shut up. I think having skill is not to argue and to respect their opinion even though we may disagree with it and be wrong. That is distress tolerance. Walk away, think about this.
🟥
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqenLaQX3zs

Oct 29
Every time the emotions are high we make mistakes. When you recognize the emotions are high you have to escape the situation for a little bit of time – we can learn how to do the work in that time to get better, too. I leave for an hour, I do it very kindly, I don't say nasty things. “I need to think about this”. They can say something while you are leaving the room, who cares. Now you're just looking more mature. It's not that it's a contest.
🟥 Sensitive Stability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqenLaQX3zs

Oct 29
People with identity diffusion struggle to see themselves and others in a clear, consistent way. Their descriptions of themselves and other people can feel contradictory or onedimensional. Individuals with identity diffusion may change their self-concept in reactive or even extreme ways redefining who they are and what they want from moment to moment, situation to situation. As chameleons or peoplepleasers, adopt to quality necessary at the moment
🟥 Without Emotional Skin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz-C503q_9Y

Oct 29
🍹 Vintage Mini vending machine

 

Oct 29
🍬 Gumball Machine

 

Oct 30
Multiple people garner the tools to be able to manipulate me. Because of this I was like “I probably should not talk about this anymore”, and “I should work on fixing myself so I am less vulnerable”. But then I realized the real people who need fixing are the people using people's weaknesses, traumas, and triggers against them. You actually using me being open and vulnerable against me. But I'm talking about I need to work on myself. Say Ick.
🟥 theebrettina
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/EhOKoRRlS9g

Oct 30

Oct 30
🇪🇸 Valencia

Oct 31
Set boundaries: If you give 70% into a relationship, no matter what kind and you're getting 30% back, you have to cut back. It's just not possible to change it any other way. You can't overcompensate. Make sure you get enough energy back so you feel appreciated. I'm not for everybody because I don't want to give my energy to people who will not appreciate it. I make sure I speak as authentically. And a lot of people cannot connect with that.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK50TmM44aQ

Oct 31
Codependency is not the problem of controlling others. It is the opposite. They're really not controlling anyone. They're in a hamster wheel. They think if they just keep doing this that the other – it'll make a difference. But it doesn't. Most narcissist in a relationship with codependents will project to their partner codependent that they are controlling. Blame other people for malignant problems they can't see.
🟥 RossRosenberg
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8CDq0ApEy3E

Oct 31
🎃 AI image create:
"halloween castle moonlight"
https://deepai.org/machine-learning-mo

Oct 31
🎃 AI Image Generator

 

Oct 31
🔥 AI Zoroastrian symbol

🎃