May 1, 2024
Have you ever walked away from a conversation with a sinking feeling despite no obvious conflict. As if something was off but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. If you find yourself feeling full of self-doubt, emotionally drained, or replaying conversation to try to make sense out of what was said, you might be dealing with a covert narcissist. I spent 20 years researching the deep connection between self worth and narcissistic relationship.
🟥 covert narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJnKq7ccfY
May 1
First clue for spotting a covert narcissist in conversation – overwhelming tendency to fish for sympathy. Reoccurring pattern: the dialogue orbits around their misfortune. They use sad stories to grab your attention, hoping you feel sorry for them, to hook you serving their needs. This can be tricky when you are empathic person, we offer support. Learn to be very wary of anyone who argues for their own limitations.
🟥 5 clues to spot a covert narcissist in conversation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJnKq7ccfY
May 1
If they quickly shift the focus back to themselves showing little interest in your shared experience, this is a red flag. Next, sarcastic humor, faux concern, making it harder to pinpoint negativity. It's a strategy to belittle others to elevate themselves without appearing overtly cruel. If you are empathic person this is easily missed because you may interpret these comments as genuine care or humor, not recognizing underline hostility.
🟥 5 clues to spot a covert narc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJnKq7ccfY
May 1
Pause with light-hearted clarification like I'm curious, what did you mean by that? It gives a person a chance to explain, potentially mistake or humor gone wrong. And it puts them on spot to reflect on their comment. Next observe their response and body language closely. If they are covert narcissist they may double down on sarcasm and tease you being too sensitive or become defensive, make themselves victim.
🟥 5 clues to spot a covert narcissist in conversation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJnKq7ccfY
May 1
If this was honest mistake, most people will respond with openness and genuine concern offering a sincere apology or clarification, showing real interest making sure they didn't offended you. Third, when person subtly nudges you into a role where you feel responsible for their well-being. Your kindness and willingness to assist are exploited to serve their endless needs for attention and validation. Baited into savior
🟥 5 clues to spot a covert narcissist in conversation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJnKq7ccfY
May 1
Contradictory valuation – criticize you for the very traits they just praised such as working too much or being too materialistic. Hot and cold behavior not only keeps you off balance, trying to reconcile but it also serves their agenda by making you strive harder for their approval. When you are kind person you will miss this because our tendency is to empathize and support which leads us to rationalize and dismiss confusing aspects.
🟥 a covert narcissist in conversation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJnKq7ccfY
May 1
1 We ask ourselves how do I appear to other people. Their family, friends and even to random people in the street. 2 We answer the question what must other people think of me. Do we come across as funny, shy, kind, caring. Standoffish or awkward or don't care. 3 We develop feelings about ourselves based on our impressions of their evaluations and observations of us. This is where it gets confusing. Cooley believes we are not actually influenced
🟥 The Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC5o1-wealw
May 1
Cooley believes we are not actually influenced by the opinions of others but instead what we are being influenced by is what we imagine the opinions of these people to be. These perceptions could be both correct or incorrect and that can be dangerous as we develop our self identities based off of those perceptions of how other people are seeing us. What we think someone things of us in actuality may not be true.
🟥 The Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC5o1-wealw
May 1
The looking glass tells us that our identity, our self concept how we view ourselves as people is not just made up of how other people see us but how we think other people see us. That is the looking glass.
🟥 The Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC5o1-wealw
May 1
George Herbert Mead's Theory of Self
May 1
Social construct
May 1
Erving Goffman's Theories
May 1
I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.
🎞️ Female Trouble (1974)
May 1
The idea was, if you could just get there, everything would be ok. And if it wasn't ok there, well, then it probably wasn't gonna be ok anywhere.
🎞️ Kalifornia (1993)
May 1
My momma used to say that when you have people around it's better that you're not by yourself, because when you're alone, it's hard to develop your personality. With more people around you, it helps, 'cos friends are really important...
🎞️ Kalifornia (1993)
May 1
When you first meet people, all you notice are the differences between you and them. But as time passes, you start to notice the similarities. I guess that' how all friendships begin.
🎞️ Kalifornia (1993)
May 2
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
🟦 Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
May 2
What you're trying to control usually gets worse. Non-resistant means that you have to accept what's showing up. Understand that everything you experience is transient, temporary. What are you trying to teach me – look at emotions in that light. Asking to change I am putting all my power outside of me. If you change then I don't have to face my codependency, that I am not enough, living on my own, never work for myself. Me being controlled by me.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
May 2
One idea that helps me is my goal is as to be as non-attached as possible. To be as non-resistant to everything that happens in my experience. So that nothing can nail me against the wall. That means that if people dislike me, if people say mean things about me, I have to be non-resistant. To the point, I say I am sorry you feel that way, Namaste. You are entitled to your opinion. It's not my job to control what you think about me. From state of peace
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0eHOw3cEeA
May 2
Acceptance of you and your opinion, and an acceptance of love for myself. Because I am not responsible for how you see me. And people who are below the veil are always projecting. Project some lack in themselves onto me, or someone else. Know that people are permitted to have their opinions of you, and you don't have to meet them there. Know that at the core you are perfect. More awareness in prefrontal lobe than amygdala you can overcome triggers.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0eHOw3cEeA
May 2
Abandon all sincere communication when communicating with the insincere
🟦 RICHARD GRANNON
May 2
Willing to stop pushing this boulder up the hill. Am I willing to just go into a state of non-resistance? When we are in state of non-resistance we are accepting of everything. It doesn't mean we like everything. It just means we are learning to understand that if it's happening it's something that's been already created. And your resistance to that thing is actually going to make that thing persist. Anything we dislike we actually breath life into.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddwcxcq-gAY
May 2
We make excuses for the violation. Thinking they are accidents or lapses in judgment, rather then seeing them as deliberate disrespect. Before I understood the concept of boundaries I always thought that people just cross them because I was just bad at setting them. Basically I took their transgressions upon myself and saw the violation as inadequacy on my part. Thinking if I just could be more clear, assertive or direct, they'd respect me
🟥 5 things narcissists always do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQrV6ZNyIeA
May 2
Star map
May 2
I was thinking I was not clear enough. If someone repeatedly calls during no disturb hours, I now see that they are willing to violate my boundaries. And now I understand that they are the problem –not me.
Conversation dominator –where they fail to show genuine interest in what you say, constantly highlight their contributions. Manipulative pattern -it is tactic to control and overshadow healthy dialogue. You may misinterpret as enthusiasm
🟥 5 things narcissists always do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG-vGDXhq6E
May 2
Zegna
airplane mode
May 2
🇫🇷 French accents
May 2
Barbara Kruger - Untitled (Think Twice), 1992
May 2
Vjeran Tomic: The Spider-Man of Paris
May 2
The Art of The Game by Michael J. Browne (b.1963), 1997, from National Football Museum
May 2
🇩🇪 Bravo
May 2
🇩🇪 Baden-Baden
May 3
If you have ever felt like you'd be punished for saying what's or that you'd be ostracized if you don't go along with someone's lie. The narcissist won't tolerate truth-teller. A narcissist lives in a fantasy world where they are wonderful, powerful, smart, beautiful, wounded, victimized, whatever their story of grandiosity or vulnerability is, they need you to validate and affirm that fantasy. They look for high level of agreeableness to their narratives.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
They'll test if you validate and affirm that fantasy to gauge your reaction. On the flip side if you consistently agree and you do not challenge fabrications you're seen as an easy target. Empathetic person prioritize kindness, politeness, flexibility to the point where our own truth may be overshadowed by the desire to accommodate others. This trait makes us susceptible to narcissists who prey on our willingness to avoid conflict and to conform.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
Being compliant and agreeable was a survival strategy as a child but it became a huge liability as an adult because it kept me stuck in pattern of attracting narcissists. I had to intentionally unlearn my over-agreeableness and over time I found that being a truth-teller offers a more formidable protection. Use Subtle Descent Method. This technique uses gentle disagreement without being overtly confrontational. "I am not sure I agree" doesn't escalate.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
Steadfast self: clear and unwavering sense of Self. It means that you know who you are and what you stand for. You know what you want and what it works for you. Where self-respect, self-worth and healthy boundaries are built making you virtually immune to any manipulated tactics. Narcissists want to be the one to define who you are, what you want, how you feel about yourself. Narcissists need you to provide stable sense of Self for them.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
They need you over their axis Center. When you have a flexible sense of Self you're easier to manipulate and control. When you're unsure of yourself, lack self-respect or blur your boundaries you're more likely to be swayed by charm and coercion. Narcissist checks for this like seemingly innocent comment to prioritize their needs over your own. Suggesting personal goal is a flaw or sign of neglect in relationship.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
You don't want to come across as selfish, disrespectful, or willing to neglect someone. Narcissists love this about you and use it against you. Making you feel guilty, irresponsible and uncaring when you try to assert anything that resembles a separate sense of Self. I lived in chronic state of self-forgetting, my needs, hopes. Instead I was always looking others what they needed, how should I act, make them happy. I didn't had axis center.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
Axis check method. When you start to lose sight of own perspective - first pause. Check physical sensation. Then practice self remembering - what do I want, remembering you are separate person. Then communicate something that expresses individuation. "I see it differently" "That doesn't work for me". "That's not something I want". Then pay close attention how they respond. Narcissist find impossible to manipulate, learn you won't be used.
🟥 Meadow DeVor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKf3WgdT8zo
May 3
When we fail at something, it really affects us. We fall back on negative behavioral patterns or negative ways of thinking just to validate for ourselves that we are not the problem, they are. Guess what- now you've put yourself on pedestal. You give that energy. If you're constantly looking for red flags you are going to find them. How often do you look for good quality? Versus “He's too open and honest, he's probably clingy – red flag”.
🟥 Daniel Morales
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQrV6ZNyIeA
May 3
This pressure falls on fertile ground because many gay people were often shamed and excluded as children and teenagers because they were different. Discriminated against, some have experienced violence. Or even hiding and when you're in love, not being able to live it out in a completely normal way. The damaged self-esteem some then think that they can make up for it by looking good. Muscular, slim and athletic around this flaws in order to feel good.
🟥 reporter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Cqg1AHeF8
May 3
A lot of content on mental health in mainstream media does not cover the unique corner that survivors of narcissistic abuse live in. Not one mention of being in any kind of toxic relationship. “Avoid your triggers” is not easy in narcissistic relationships. When the discomfort is living in your house or down the street or in the next office. It was not even rumination, but reality. And the constant exposure means you don't get a break.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uusKWmjUk6k
May 3
I don’t understand the need to try to alpha dog me in the first place.
- It arises from massive insecurity.
May 4
streamWriter has option to display the most played songs on the radio stations all over the world.
At the moment, the most played song in the world is
Benson Boone - Beautiful Things
May 4
Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that insures the successful outcome of your venture.
🟦 William James
May 4
A suggestive idea must come with the force.
🟦 William James
May 4
I am still learning.
🟦 Michelangelo
May 4
William James' self-theory
May 4
The Michelangelo phenomenon
May 4
Pygmalion effect
May 4
Golem effect
May 4
The Galatea effect
May 4
🇫🇷 eurostar-la techno du tgv qui defie la manche
May 4
🏉 Rugby - Challenge Cup, 2024-05-04, 13-33-08, France 3
May 5
🏉 Rugby - Challenge Cup, 2024-05-04, 14-28-49, France 3
May 6
🎵 Luxemburg 🇱🇺 re-joins ESC tomorrow after 31 years of abstaining from Eurosong contest.
May 6
🎵 Countries competing tomorrow at ESC2024:
May 6
⚽ Inter - Hellas Verona
May 6
🎵 Carmen
May 6
⛵ Portofino Regate di Primavera
May 6
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-05-05, 16-01-14, France 2
May 6
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-05-05, 16-01-14, France 2
May 6
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile Play Off S, 2024-05-05, 17-39-39, Rai Sport HD
May 6
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile Play Off S, 2024-05-05, 17-39-39, Rai Sport HD
May 6
She can sense like a weird behavior from a mile away. She's very wary of Thomas.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
May 6
🎵 Don Giovanni
May 7
Social media has added new complexities to the looking-glass theory as new mirrors have been made available. A new Self, known as Cyber-Self has been created. One gets pick and choose what they want to portray and can have several versions of themselves online, from professionalism linkedin to casual tic toc. They are also judged and criticized to a whole new level online which may drive to be online more often to continually reshape their image.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiefWQ-7hBk
May 7
We change our appearances to impress other people all the time. We're going through this strange process of thinking about if I wear this or if I behave this way or I act this way, what's the effect of that going to be? “If I wear shirt and tie they'll probably think I'm professional”. I think that is how they going to see me if I wear shirt and tie. Likewise we would change our presentation. Shaping on premise people will react to us in another way.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToYnMWsTlNs
May 7
Croatia's extinction event
May 7
Socialization is an important process that impacts who you become as an individual and the role you play in the society. Socialization is process of learning to become a member of the social world. So through the socialization process we learn who we are as an individual, we learn how to behave in society, impacts you from cradle to the grave, lifelong process. You learn different parts of your identity in different ways of being.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hctctEJG8ek
May 7
Socialization is not something that happens in a vacuum by yourself. It happens in the interactions you have with other human beings. Identity gets developed, interactions are the foundation of shaping who we become as individuals in our society. Socialization impacts what is acceptable in society. It shapes how we see and define our “self”. Who you are as individual is not just how you see yourself,but how you perceive other people seeing you as well
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hctctEJG8ek
May 7
Our sense of who we are emerges from our social interactions with others. Through our everyday interactions society reflects back to us our own image, the looking-glass self. But how much of that self-image is what others actually think and how much is what we think they think? Our interactions with others can affect our self concept. Over time negative self reflections lead to negative self concept. What society tells about us may not be accurate.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDu5nc_uEPo
May 7
We might in fact see ourselves not as we really are, but rather how we believe others see us. This process starts in childhood and continues throughout our whole lives. Through the years we see our reflection change through the reaction of others. As we do so – we continually change.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDu5nc_uEPo
May 7
CBT explains to us social anxiety as hallucination, that we exaggerate the threat and that toxic people do not exist - and if people are "bad" that they cannot influence us. Well - sociologist disagree.
⬜ Looking-glass self
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide
May 7
When it comes to figuring out yourself and who you are, that comes through your interactions with others. That your interaction with your parents and your siblings and your teachers and your friends, help you to get idea of the person that you are. And the people you interact with become your mirrors. You see what they think of you when you interact with them and it changes the way you see yourself. All is based on the way you think people see you.
🟥 Looking-Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpXUBp9H2XE
May 7
There's usually a different version of ourself that we present to people in our lives based on the relationship that we have with them. Therefore they see entirely different version of us in their own mind. Lover looking-glass self is the one where we might try to be better than we actually are as individuals to appear better than our average selves to this person. We may not have perfect reflection of ourselves.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgf8qtpeCNY
May 7
When we think of us who we truly are, we usually struggle to balance this self-perceived self with the looking-glass selves that we show with other people. We have personality aspects that we don't want to show to certain people or we have tough time doing so. It's important for us to learn which of these traits we can show and can't show when interacting with new people. The more we spend time easier becomes to balance image when interacting with you
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgf8qtpeCNY
May 7
I don't expect anything. I just want to believe that this marriage means as much to you as it does to me...
- Oh my God, of course it does. Why do you think it's so painful, why do you think it hurts so much.
🎞️ THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
May 7
🇵🇹 Portugal
May 7
🇵🇹 Portugal
May 8
🎵 Eurovision Song Contest 2024, 1st semi final
May 8
It comes down to –who is the bad guy? It's like –we're adults. We're taking psychiatric terms and applying them where maybe they don't need to go, like people sometimes are just dicks. In business, maybe I just don't care about, I make him do all work and that's it. Do I need to have narcissistic personality disorder to do that? No. Do I need any personality disorder to do that? No, I'm just rude, selfish prick. Does he have right to end partnership? Yes
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/opdxO6hbr5A
May 8
People see somebody who's confident or extroverted by nature– they can start to conflate that with narcissism. They may say something that you don't like, they might have an interpersonal style that you just don't like. Intuitively you just don't want to know this person that's completely fine. But this has to be distinct from “I think this person has narcissistic personality disorder”. Look for consistent pattern across time lack of empathy, entitlement
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3PO1bzHFH0
May 8
Is this person of evil intent? ¸We have to consider not everybody is operating in good faith (how to contribute to humans). If you wanted a broad structure for understanding human behavior through that lens , narcissism is the wrong one. Psychopathy is correct one. You will get so much more useful, applicable data, rules, guidelines in looking psychopathy than narcissism. It's good philosophically think more clearly ahead of time. I have choice.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3PO1bzHFH0
May 8
Neither the life of an individual not the history of a society can be understood without understanding both.
🟦 C. Wright Mills
May 8
You can never really understand an individual unless you also understand the society, historical time period in which they live, personal troubles and social issues.
🟦 C. Wright Mills
Mills’ sociological imagination
May 8
Thomas Theorem - If we believe something is real, then we react accordingly. “If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.
🟥 Thomas Theorem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAErrXu7mE4
May 8
Sheep versus goats in Bible
May 8
🇫🇷 La flamme en France
May 8
🇫🇷 8 Mai
May 8
When we talk about proficiency or ability to express yourself coherently and understand majority of people, there's a difference in perceived proficiency and actual proficiency. Because the way you believe other people perceive your skills will almost certainly affect your confidence and motivation to continue speaking. If you think you're seen as a poor speaker, you might be hesitant to participate in conversation. Even if your skills may be good
🟥 The Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Whjjs_pSoE
May 9
🇸🇲 San Marino in French is Saint-Marin
May 9
Healthy coping mechanisms
May 9
🇫🇷 Marseille accueille la flamme olympique, la grande soirée
May 9
In the '60s you were encouraged to feel lucky that anybody wanted you at all. And kind people said you are so lucky you were chosen. But adopted felt like dirty word, outsider, shame. Shame lead to depression and lead my my whole life. Parents emotionally unavailable, I went looking on outside who I was. Bad kid was reflected to me. Ponzi schemes are based in this shame of failure, you put something big, see diminishing return of your investment.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RmFkiPjH8Q
May 9
The Sociological Imagination
May 9
Self Righteousness in Bible
May 9
Artist - Normal people
May 9
Be wary of making definite statements; they leave little to no room for other possibilities.
May 9
When you are going to learn that men in uniform are human beings?
- So I make it tough for them. I can start to make it being how tough it will be for them in combat. They're bunch of kids mostly. Suddenly they have to grow up hard and fast.
🎞️ The Private War of Major Benson (1955)
May 9
Personality begins where comparison ends.
🟦 Karl Lagerfield
May 9
If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.
🟦 Mo Willems
May 9
Don't look to the approval of others for your mental stability.
🟦 Karl Lagerfeld
May 9
Don't try to impress others.
✝️ Bible
May 9
Sapir-Whorf hypothesis
May 9
Thomas theorem
May 9
Eric Carle
May 9
Karl Lagerfeld
May 10
🎵 Eurovision Song Contest 2024, second semi-final
May 10
🇫🇷 Carnac - sur les traces du royaume disparu
May 10
Cooley said our sense of Self comes from how we think other people see us. “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am.” Other people's reflections of us and how we think about those images they have of us help create our sense of Self. Grades from teachers can reflect back to us an image of ourselves that we then internalize and becomes our self-perception. They effect self-image.
🟥 The Looking glass self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X1wwTCuZBo
May 10
We imagine we are seen by others. And that imagination forms our identity. Our identity is being shaped by others. Others is agent which influences who we are in society. You begin to believe that and you begin to see as your identity, what other people think of you. Intelligent, high self esteem, outgoing – you believe what people say about you, it becomes your identity. Our identity is formed through the way we imagine people see us.
🟥 Looking-glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWOflUXKUQ
May 10
That imagination comes from interaction with these people. In the process of interaction they tell you this is what we think about you. And then you go off believe in that. You don't control what people think about you. Front Stage Behavior: Familiarity breeds content-With front stage they behave nicely. It's in subconsciousness of individuals that they have to behave a certain way in public. At interview- they smile, but is this who they are?
🟥 Looking-glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWOflUXKUQ
May 10
Dyscalculia affects the ability to understand and work with numbers, whereas dysgraphia impacts handwriting and fine motor skills (ability to form letter for example).
May 10
🇩🇪 Hamburg celebrates - the 835th. Harbor birthday
May 10
The Self is a social construction
May 11
French tv France2 has countdown to Eurosong.
May 11
Our emotions can trick us so often.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31Ay8-RjTss
May 11
It is often said that American Beauty is a film about identity. Each character seems to go through a very personal identity crisis. But I would argue that this crisis are not personal at all. They are products of wider social forces. We may define ourselves based on prevailing attitudes towards sexuality, beauty and material success. Sense of self strongly influences by social world.
🟥 American Beauty Film Analysis: The Sociology of Identity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6youJFbEgQ
May 11
Ricky shows Jane that he likes her as she is. Eventually this leads her abandoning the idea of surgery and gain enough confidence and self-esteem to tell Angela what she really thinks of her. Freed from idea that everyone looks down on he because of her physical appearance, Jane's sense of self is no longer defined how she looks, how she looks to others.
🟥 American Beauty Film Analysis: The Sociology of Identity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6youJFbEgQ
May 12
🇨🇭 Nemo
May 12
My two trips to Malmo more-less looked like this.
May 12
You don't need other people. If someone is always rescuing you, praying for you, keeping you cheered up – that's going to limit your growth.
All that suffering was a set-up for resurrection.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju_tDVQeBN0
May 12
An individual realize its self by reflecting others' perceptions about him. They use social interactions as a mirror. A Person grows and develop due to interpersonal interactions of the Society. When one interacts socially, one completely considers how one looks in the eyes of others. Negative response leads to depression and anxiety.
🟥 Looking Glass Self Theory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAzsBj6yTpw
May 12
Looking Glass Self where you see yourself the way you think others see you. You can't see the way others truly see you. So you're seeing yourself they way you think others think they see you. You can see how much is lost in the translation. You're much more beautiful than you think. You attract so much more than you know. There's more going on with you than you care to acknowledge. Beauty is not about what you see. It's about what you reflect.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFEkq8uDiJU
May 12
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
I promise to love you tomorrow
In the good, in the good, in the good
You'll find me in the good night
🇱🇹 Luktelk · Silvester Belt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyMivcJfm34
May 12
(Bitch, bitch)
(Bitch, bitch)
(Bitch, bitch)
I know I'm not who you want (I know)
I understand that I despair you (I know)
But this is my nature
To change for you makes me lazy
🇪🇸 Nebulossa - ZORRA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGS2M8Q9KIM
May 12
I, I went to Hell and back
To find myself on track
I broke the code, whoa-oh-oh
Like ammonites
I just gave it some time
Now I found paradise
I broke the code, whoa-oh-oh
🇨🇭 Nemo - The Code
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JqxpaJot2E
May 12
Should've known that you are a liar
But I look the other way
Should've known you're a troublemaker
But you act too nice to hate
Take a look at yourself 'cause that's what you need to do, to do
'Cause the only problem in this room is about you, 'bout you
'Cause you're a liar
🇨🇾 Liar · Silia Kapsis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GhxBsD6GaI
May 12
Eurovision 2024
May 12
Moment when Eurovision glass trophy was broken live on stage. And medic arriving after the end roll.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVRISlNWDmk
May 12
To my home town that is full of creativity and people that are different are seen as something special and positive.
🎵 Nemo - press conference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6yuYDeR7sc
May 12
Mirror in front of you, and you are looking at yourself in the mirror, the way it is – is mirror in reality. As Masha labels you, tells you, comments on you, provides you all kinds of feedback, your self continues to develop. The way society perceives you and gives feedback about you. It is considered important to yourself and you have that impression that is how I should be. Their significance or importance makes you proud.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa-PD1YVxj4
May 12
"You are absolutely fabulous"
May 13
Broken Looking-Glass Self is Social anxiety
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide
May 13
Where do we find our self? When we go to society and interact with people in the society, we hear from them that we have lost our personality. It's like you are innocent, you are very nice, you are honest, so how do we come to know these things about ourselves, how do we come to know in the society, when we interact with different people. Talk to them, interact with them, &sit with them. Had we roamed with them, we would have come to know these things
🟥 Looking Glass self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW65S_7iizE
May 13
Cooley said that society is like a mirror, just like we look ourselves in the mirror and see our shape. Then after we come to know how is our physique, then the mirror tells us this. Similarly Cooley said that society is what it is, what is your sell up, your self. Society is reflected with the individuals, they are the ones who make you sell up. If they give you positive response, whether you are positive, are you beautiful, do you have these things
🟥 Looking Glass self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW65S_7iizE
May 13
Social self develops out of imagination of how one appears to the other person, and the kind of feeling that one self can be reflected. This is how you appear in the society. How you behave will depend on what people will think about you, people will give opinion on you, physical appearance. People imagine that this happens, that your social self develops. It depends on you, how you appear in society. Your Self will be developed on opinion.
🟥 Looking Glass self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW65S_7iizE
May 13
There are 3 main features of the self that create what you have: First: Our imagination. Our imagination depends on how we appear to the other person. 2nd, imagination's judgement which we have thought about ourselves. (I am beautiful, I am honest, I am confident, I can do these things) that the other person makes by our appearance, that I know these things. What people comment on that, give their opinion. 3rd feelings of importance, shame, self doubt
🟥 Looking Glass self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW65S_7iizE
May 13
When people judge you are not capable of doing this: you can do it, you don't have this capacity. You don't have this motivation, you don't have this power, people doubt you, your self seems to be me. If I can't do these things then that's what happens: the other person's judgement about your appearance. That's people's judgement. It depends on your appearance. Consciousness would not exist in the absence of society, self cannot be formed.
🟥 Looking Glass self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW65S_7iizE
May 14
One consistent element of the serial killers narrative in victim selection was the sob story. And they were all using sob story to test the boundaries of a potential victims. If you shrugged it off, you were no good. But if they could see tears in eyes, “oh, poor baby”, they were like “I got you”. You'll be back in the van soon.
🟥 RICHARD GRANNON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysIuqHgnbTw
May 14
We interpret others' reactions. We come to conclusions about how others evaluate us. Do they like us for being witty? Do they dislike us for being dull? We develop self-concept. How we interpret others' reactions to us frames our feelings and ideas about ourselves. A favorable reflection in this social mirror leads to a positive, A negative reflection leads to a negative self-concept. You develop yourself based on opinions and perceptions of others.
🟥 Looking Glass Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWnpNJW-ku0
May 14
Now playing on "airs purs" radio:
🎵 Na Na's Waltz · Aqua Bassino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsKtMdKpESo
May 14
Passiflora 2024
May 14
🏉 Rugby- Serie A Elite maschile Play Off S, 2024-05-12, 09-36-16, Rai Sport HD
May 14
🎭 Il Minotauro
May 15
🎭 Daphne
May 15
Shame based emotions are felt by us when we evaluate ourselves as wrong. That's based on identity. Guilt is created if we behave in wrong way – I did something wrong. Not I am wrong. Guilt is related to your actions, not identity.
🟥 Toxic Shame & Guilt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0W9c_1lSHU
May 15
I wanted to say good-bye to you as me. Not what you thought I was.
🎞️ The Man from Earth (2007)
May 15
As heard on "The Great American Songbook" radio:
Killing Me Softly With Her Song · Andy Williams (1974)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg3d-ddyapw
May 15
🇫🇷 Cérémonie d'ouverture du Festival de Cannes, Meryl Streep
May 16
⚽ Sassuolo - Fiorentina
May 16
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile Play Off S, 2024-05-12, 17-24-27, Rai Sport HD
May 16
🏉 Rugby. Serie A Elite maschile Play Off S, 2024-05-12, 17-24-27, Rai Sport HD
May 16
🎞️ Vajont - La diga del disonore (2001)
May 16
Somebody being mean towards us – what do we think? Maybe they have reason for it, maybe they're right. So we start questioning ourselves. This is one way of projecting. We're believing in good of others instead of actually focusing on the fact that we had no bad intentions to begin with. The INFJ is perfect recipient for projection. “Ti” is all about being able to see a truth that is independent of us. I shouldn't get offended.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkG_rohsy7Q
May 16
We make room for people to project onto us and then we hide who we truly are. You are allowing others to project, you are saying your reality is valid. I am not somebody who will tell you this is not allowed. The biggest problem in this is this isn't us. We can hollow ourselves out to make room for somebody to allow them to be seen. We are afraid of showing who we are from the get-go, we go into another direction, allow people to project onto us
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkG_rohsy7Q
May 17
Stop defending yourself. Just be what you are. What's the point of defending yourself to someone that's not going to listen to you anyway. You can think and live in a way that makes sense to you and then you can be proactive in your initiatives. You can individualize your efforts to find personal peace. What gives you sense of contentment from the inside out. Problem – when you claim your freedom, narc will begin invalidating you.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-J4ZrwtIXw
May 17
I can't control narcissist's invalidation. So I won't. So I'm going to go even deeper in myself and I'm going to begin defining what it means for me to have internal strength. I can't get it from the outside, so what does it mean to have internal strength. What kind of traits I want to have in my predominant personality. Self-restraint, self-trust, calmness, basic civility, claiming inherent worth. Appreciate yourself.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-J4ZrwtIXw
May 17
Narcissists will invalidate your internal strength. How are you going to respond to that? Go back to that phrase: I can't control that, so I won't. Then you can add assertiveness. It's not enough to think correctly, - I will turn my direction toward being proactive person. Have healthy initiatives, that is your assertiveness. I'm going to stand up for myself when I believe that I have principles I need to maintain, boundaries, establish consequences
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-J4ZrwtIXw
May 17
Narcissists desperately want you to enter the control game. They are going to complain, moan, and groan, and blame you for everything. How are you going to handle that? I can't control that, so I won't. Narcissists are consummate players, they won't be pleased with who you are, and you're not obliged to get inside of pig pin, that wants to wrestle with you and you get muddy and they get happy. Not going to do that. The power of paradox.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-J4ZrwtIXw
May 17
Narcissists are focused on maintaining control at whatever cost. They will break you down, manipulate every single situation so that you come to believe that you are the person that is at fault, and that they are the victims. It can be hard identifying them because their controlling behavior might appear as self-confidence or genuine concern for your well-being.
🟥 How to Survive a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW10RUD1Imw
May 17
Recognizing how you show up in relationships. Understanding your relationship patterns. Do you seek approval, do you not feel good enough, do you struggle with setting boundaries, do you feel like default to worrying what other people think about you vs do you even know what you think about you. Default worrying how other people feel, taking care how other people feel, feel responsible how other people feel. This is dangerous situation for your mental health
🟥 Lisa Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppldfhcsfi4
May 17
My brain was programmed at the neurological level and at the subconscious level to believe that it was my job to prove to other people that I was worthy to keep around. That was because no matter what I did, my mother would flip it on me and she would turn me into an offender. When I was in abusive relationship and asking why you didn't show up last night. He flips it on me – get off my back, you're such a needy person, I feel like I offended him.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppldfhcsfi4
May 17
It is so common to have unhealthy toxic people flip the narrative on you, and it is so common if you don't have self-esteem or this has been your reality as child, you've suffered childhood trauma, you were nuisance. You're feeling all sorts of guilt because you have a need. Somehow you are an offender. You have acclimated to being accustomed to feel like somehow you have offended someone, somehow.
Today I have no tolerance of being accused I didn't do.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppldfhcsfi4
May 17
I have zero empathy for narcissists. ZERO. They are manipulative and self serving. Don't waste any emotions on these people. Completely move on where possible. Otherwise, keep contact to a minimum.
May 17
When you can recognize this pattern of fragility allows you to not take it so personally. Because they're fragile, that's why they react angrily. You can step back and say it's not about me. When you don't personalize it, it allows you to not blame yourself for it and waste all of those futile hours and wondering what could I do differently.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfZyu3YiNog
May 17
Personality is a kind of predictable road map of how someone is going to behave. Someone agreeable you can be confident that they're going to be flexible, warm, humble. If you know someone narcissistic, what is predictable is that it is unpredictable, that they will go angry if it's not going their way, lack of empathy. Unless they're faking it. Lack of curiosity. I was supply for them to their agenda.
🟥 DoctorRamani | Alanis Morissette
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1OHm0WuwJ4
May 17
Yellow rocking is giving right gray rock responses but with warmth. “Sounds like you had great time”. “That's fun”. To anyone looking at it, it would seem normal. But you're not giving them anything. Firewalling – they way to manage narcissistic relationships – just not sharing anything of significance. Don't share feelings, vulnerabilities, good news, bad news. It's – weather, small talk. I don't share anything vulnerable.
🟥 DoctorRamani | Alanis Morissette
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1OHm0WuwJ4
May 18
What life led by fear looks like: a constant and incessant need for whatever is safe and secure. A constant worry about what's going to happen tomorrow. Life led by fear looks like pushing people away. Looks like being offended all the time. Shrinking life. Where you find yourself saying no or nothing at all more and more. Life led by love is driven by care, often by risk, courage, enjoyable work. Fear and love both direct life.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnPHNnnXT_4
May 18
Four Passionfruit flowers
May 19
Situation with people who are hard to get along with. Counting on you to be a good influence. To be grateful when they are complaining. To have integrity when they compromise. To show mercy when they're judgmental. To see best in people when they're finding fault. Light has the greatest impact in darkness. If you are in the light all the time, you're not going to be that effective. Let your light shine. They didn't stop the blessing. They're not keeping you from potential
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25WeGZkzHtQ
May 19
🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-05-18, 16-56-02, C8
May 19
🏉 Rugby - Top 14, 2024-05-18, 16-56-02, C8
May 19
If you're going to do anything great in life, there will be opposition, setbacks, delays, critics. Taking new ground. There'll always be people trying to pull you into shallow waters. Criticize, find faults, discredit: don't waste your time with that. Set your face like a flint & run your own race. If you listen what smallminded people say about you, that poison will get from the inside. And you'll start fighting a battle that you were never suppose to fight
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqUirtQEfIo
May 19
🏀 Basket-ball 3x3 - Tournoi de qualification olympique, 2024-05-18, 18-08-49, L'Equipe
May 19
🩰 Islands
May 19
After you get what you want, you don't want it.
May 19
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.
May 20
The more you focus on how you come across, the more you focus on how you feel, when you're socially anxious, the worse you're going to feel. And that's at some point going to impact your social performance. Externally focused- pay a lot of attention to their surroundings, to people, they know they come across weird. Normally our attention varies from being externally focused: paying attention to conversation. Not noticing how you feel.
🟥 Metacognitive Therapy Central
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG1xR6gNHYc
May 20
Theory of mind is one's ability to recognize that other people have different mental states and perspectives from one's own. It is your ability to theorize what is going on in someone else's mind. This typically develops during our early childhood. Someone who doesn't have developed theory of mind will listen to Sally story and think that marble is in the box. Why? Well they know that marble is in box, so shouldn't everyone think the marble is in the box?
🟥 Theory of Mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xov5mF1NauU
May 20
They miss the fact that Sally has a false belief and isn't aware of the truth of where the marble really is. But those with a developed theory of mind will be able to think about Sally's mental state. Take careful note of the fact that her perspective is different since she did not see Ann move the marble & take that into account when asked where Sally will look for her marble. Developed theory of mind allows you to attribute mental states to other people
🟥 Theory of Mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xov5mF1NauU
May 20
May 20
Sky movies line-up 17.2.1993
May 21
A significant problem arose for you in life. You failed to confront that problem directly. The problem was evaded in some way. Rather than dealt with. Conceptualized in era of Freud and Jung as character weakness, having a weak will. Problem was framed you could have dealt with it but you chose not to out of fear and cowardice. With plethora of information about childhood development, we can look at it differently.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
Self-regulating means we are reasponably aware of our emotions, as well as where our emotions are coming from. And we are at choice to reasonable extent around how we want to deal with our emotions. Not necessarily reacting quickly at impulse, from trigger. And make intelligent decision how to deal with this emotion. It does not mean that we always inhibit our emotions. It means emotion is not controlling us, we are in driver's seat.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
Neurotic habits–often the thing that we get really fixated on because it's the thing we most visibly see the results of or feel consequences of,in our daily life, is actually not the root problem.The more we fixate on it, the more we fixate on fighting the right shampoo, the more we are going into wrong direction. Just like not knowing nutrition that vitamin deficiency can lead to hair falling out. Humongous blind-spots what keeps us psychologically healthy
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 20
Example- as child, you didn't learn about assertiveness. You didn't learn that it is absolutely crucial part of human relationships to be able to check-in with yourself, say no when you don't want to do something and design your life around the types of things that you authentically do want to do and the types of people you want to be around. We can think of saying no and being assertive as essential vitamin that we need psychologically to stay healthy.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
If you don't have this vitamin you're going to start experiencing severe and recurring consequences. Chronically doing things you don't like doing, or being around people you don't want to be around. Chronically being distressed by that and chronically needing comfort from other people. You may have this idea Why am I so needy. Why people around me don't need so much care as I do. Emotional system is responding perfectly normally doing things you don't want
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
When emotionally abusive parent say something unkind or derogatory or insulting to the other parent, the other parent does not react. Maybe they have pattern to shut down in the face of verbal abuse. And so you internalize their lack of reaction as this is just the normal way that people speak to each other. Problem: when someone insults us, say untrue about our character, or projected onto, our bodies do react to that. Our system know there is danger.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
I've learned through looking at my other parent, that the appropriate response to this is to simpy ignore it and go on with my life. When it happens, I'm not going to understand consciously why I feel dysregulated. As far as I am concerned, nothing of real consequence has happened to me, so if I feel strong emotional response, “it is just because I am crazy or irrational”. That feeling is still present in my body – tense, angry, scared, disgust, shame.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
Now we have a mismatch between our physiological state and what we believe is happening in our conscious mind. And that mismatch has to get resolved somehow. And if we're not conscious of it, we will resolve it unconsciously. So we might find ourselves in pattern of overeating, drinking too much, or desperately craving validation out of other people that we're good or ok. And we have no idea that something is happening to us eliciting responses for comfort.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
We develop a habit of over-eating, because we are in chronically unhealthy relationships, that we don't recognize as unhealthy. And the real problem is that we have chronic need for comfort. But we don't recognize it as such. I don't feel good and I don't know why. This may work for us until it doesn't. Then we might only be conscious of not liking our body. So we might be chronically at war with our body, in yo yo cycles of emotional eating.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 21
Jung quote: we don't cure our neurosis, our neurosis cure us. Switch our frame of thinking: “this neurotic thought pattern or this compulsive behavior is ruining my life” to this compulsive thought pattern or behavior is giving me incredibly important information about what I need in order to feel whole – we can start working with those neurosis instead of against them. Underlies unmet needs. One of them – need for deep connection with other people.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkfK3Ef2wYo
May 22
Petulant Borderline disorder:
extreme jealousy, demanding and stubborn, passive-aggressive, easily insulted, rage and intense emotional outbursts, need for control, feelings of shame and worthlessness
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/63GbJMsqhbM
May 22
The more we activate and improve and grow, self energy and self-leadership, the more parts will settle down and they will self-lead. Example – warm, loving nurturing teacher in school. All the parts we have are like children in the classroom. Imagine class without teacher – it would be an absolute crap show. Little Jimmy throwing spitballs, Margaret pulling Maria's hair, somebody setting fire to something in the corner. That's what parts are doing inside of us.
🟥 #ifs
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9bkZqmpf7tg
May 22
When there's no sense of self, there's no leader. There's no captain of the ship. And the ship is going to run a ground, and the classroom is going to burn down. That's why we need a good leader. And self-leadership is where it's at. That's what IFS is all about, building and improving self-leadership.
🟥 #ifs
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9bkZqmpf7tg
May 22
📖 Jack Kerouac
May 22
Incoming storm
May 22
First- I am not good enough. Second – I'm different, I don't belong, I don't fit in. I can't connect with others. Three – I cannot get what I want, I'm not worthy, I'm not allowed to, It's just not for me. I'm incapable of getting that. Four: anger, resentment, rage over unjust, or bitterness over injustice, betrayal, abuse. Five: I'm not safe, Everything will fall apart, This is more kind of survival, like I'm going to lose my job or I'm in physical danger
🟥 Toxic shame
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/B44dvQahbsY
May 23
INFJs often get mistaken for extroverts. We come across as very chatty and extroverted, because we crave human connection. However our social battery is very small and we need a lot of alone time. And if we don't get it, we'll just disappear for a while.
🟥 3 Things to Know About an INFJ #infjpersonalitytype
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zKWepGW0xK4
May 23
Other option would be I see that person is suffering and I just let them continue to suffer. We as INFJs cannot do this. This is extremely hard for us. Why? Because Fe is our parenting function: We want to make others feel good. We want them to feel good. It's incredibly hard for us watching them to suffer. I am not teaching them how to fish, not allowing others to make choice if they want to be in our lives. let them approach: not wait for their choice.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fP_zf-Kjw8
May 24
If you don't learn to value yourself – nothing's ever be good enough. No matter what you seek, externally, nothing is going to fulfill you. Unless you discover who you are, what you're made of, your ugly patterns, your good patterns, your strong traits, your weak traits, unless you develop some self-worth and independence, break the codependency. No one will ever be good enough, always someone else's fault.
🟥 NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/yU1JeViVcAM
May 24
We are objects. We are tools to the narcissists. And so we will be seen as pawns in this chess game. And so we can never be accepted to be equal to the player of the game. We're just the pawn of the game. And so we can never be equal, so there can never be true acceptance.
🟥 Jerry Wise
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/P1OFr5czZoI
May 24
#1 rule: Stop taking them seriously. I like Jerry's popsicle analogy. When narcissists talk from their delusions, it's like being told, "You are a popsicle." And you KNOW you're not a popsicle. So you just ignore the crazy. Or if you can't ignore because of safety issues... you nod, and say, "Of course, Mom." And then plot to get away from the delusional person as soon as humanly possible.
May 24
Habituation: proceed with caution.
with stimuli that elicit fear, we run the risk of sensitization, which is a worsening of that fear with each subsequent exposure.
https://www.facebook.com/GFCarefreeCanine/
May 24
Cine Tarmac 2024, l'Air et de l'Espace du Bourget
May 24
Triggers for BPD
May 24
Jack Kerouac
May 24
Sensitization
May 24
Traits of HSP
May 24
The Hawthorne Effect
May 24
Subconscious mind
May 24
Habituation
May 24
We must learn how to be surprised, not to adjust ourselves.
May 24
Desensitization lead to an overall blunting of emotional sensitivity.
🟦 Bessel van der Kolk
May 24
How-Different-Colors-Are-Influencing-You
May 24
🏉 Rugby locker room
May 24
🇫🇷 Bretagne
May 24
🇫🇷 Bretagne
May 24
🏉 Rugby - Challenge Cup, 2024-05-24, 20-52-54, France 4
May 24
🏉 Rugby - Challenge Cup, 2024-05-24, 22-25-23, France 4
May 24
🇪🇨 Ecuador
May 26
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-05-25, 15-49-48, France 2
May 26
🏉 Rugby - Champions Cup, 2024-05-25, 17-13-04, France 2
May 26
🇫🇷 Cérémonie de clôture du Festival de Cannes 2024, 2024-05-25, 18-45-41, France 2
May 26
⚽ Celtic - Rangers
May 26
American fascism
May 26
It's easy to go through life wearing a different mask. Instead of dealing with the issues we know are holding us back, too often we keep them covered up, pretending that everything is ok. We're more concerned about the outside, what people are going to think,our image than we are inside. It takes a lot of work to deal with the inner issues, our character, our motives, our attitude, our behaviors,things we know are not right. It's much easier to put on a mask
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4kl9dR2DQY
May 26
I'm all for having attitude of victory, not being able to be controlled by the circumstances. But in order to get well, you need to get real. You have to take that mask off, get honest with yourself and say ok I have some things to deal with, this is not normal. When you get down to the real you, not the pretend you, that' when God can turns things around. But it's tempting to go around wearing a different mask. We don't want people to think less of us.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4kl9dR2DQY
May 26
🎵 Matt Low - Drôle de ciel ( avec Lonny )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFViGvdyRb8
May 26
Too embarrassed to admit that something is wrong. God is not going to fault you for where you are. He knew about every mistake we made before we ever made it. He knows our flaws, our weaknesses, our failures. You don't have to pretend, you have to be honest. Take off that mask, that's when you'll see things turn around. Problem is, when you wear a mask, you step out of God's favor. You have to own it. You can't overcome what you don't want to admit.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4kl9dR2DQY
May 26
Tried to skip the sifting? "I'll just go ahead and do it anyway!" We make some weird decisions when we want something so bad. I just decided. You better let God sift that thing. "I don't like being single." You'd better let God sift that thing. I'd rather be single and sifted than married and miserable.
✝️ stevenfurtick
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3bJpWBtbzuE
May 26
⚽ Téléfoot. 'Téléfoot 21'..., 2024-05-26, 10-58-41, TF1
May 26
⚽ Football - Coupe de France, 2024-05-25, 21-11-14, France 2
May 26
🎾 Tennis - Roland-Garros - Partie 2, 2024-05-26, 12-23-18, France 4
May 26
The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
-Sure.
- Well, when I get it, the only thing that does any good is to jump into a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it. Nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's, then... Then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name.
🎞️ Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
May 26
In some cases it can be a good thing – but self-improvement is one of the worst mental illnesses somebody can have. Never feeling ready to get married. Never feeling like you are attractive enough to approach a woman. Never feeling like you've quite accomplished enough, enough to graduate to that next stage of your life. That what self-improvement does to you, it makes you feel like you're never good enough.
🟥 LFA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQwynPiXKHI
May 27
⚽ Bundesliga
May 27
🏈 European League of Football
May 27
🏈 European League of Football
May 27
🎾 Tennis - Roland-Garros
May 27
Symptom deprivation – a visualization technique that you can do to try to find out the real reason as to why you feeling some unwanted emotion. First lose identity on social anxiety. I have this due to childhood reasons – it is not social anxiety.
🟥 Change Theory - Overcome Social Anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dndw827BtcA
May 27
What bothers me about narcissists and antisocial people in general is their social fabric as a whole. A study revealed psychopaths can recognise eachother through facial traits. It's never an isolated narcissism that causes serious damage, but rather their fabric in social structures, which gaslights victims into questioning their reality. Furthermore, they really don't like intelligent people with strong boundaries around them or their doing. That's a big one
May 28
🎞️ Ryan's Daughter (1970)
May 28
those who have healthy developing personality - will stop immediately after they realise that they are causing emotional pain to the bullied peer
May 28
When a child is a nerd and avoids sports and athletics, these kind of children, idiosyncratic children and behavior, traits, body attributes, gender result in peer rejection. Rejected by their peers. And one of main compensatory mechanisms, ways to cope with rejection, is narcissism. Fantasy – it is fantasy defense. Rejection by peers hurts like nothing else. Many adolescents commit suicide having been rejected by their peers.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
Peer shaming is a control mechanism. It's a control strategy. Peer use shame and shaming to establish hierarchies, social hierarchies, and then to enforce these hierarchies. Shame is a tool, it is instrumentalized, and weaponized among peers. Shame triggers the original shame (believes he is ugly, stupid etc, also ashamed of not becoming the individual of the lost potential). This kind of children react with pathological narcissism to peer rejection.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
Peer rejection creates cognitive dissonance, I want to be accepted unconditionally and cool as they are and on other hand the message is you don't fit in, you're rejected. The child who adopts pathological narcissistic solution resolves cognitive dissonance by counter-rejection: I am superior to my peers, I am much more intelligent, I don't need them. I'm going to give up on them. Another version is I am unknown hero, do heroic things, I am rescuer, savior.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
The third version – I am victim. But victim in a way that makes me special. I'm being victimized by my peers, but this victimization endows me with qualities that they don't have. I'm much more moral than they are. I'm much more adult than they are, mature. These allow to survive wrenching cognitive dissonance. Peers provide a child with reality testing and behavioral script like sexual, as modeling referencing group. Learns how to behave.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
Because child is rejecting his peers, mutual rejection, the child then loses his modeling referencing group. There is no one to emulate, no one to copy, no one to observe. No one to learn from. There's no model that he can adopt and make his own. Going through life half-asleep, unaware of reality, fully embedded in compensatory fantasy, including the false self. Also yields passive-aggression. Peers can become violent, have infinite arsenal. Displace anger.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
In my experience, rejecting the modeling reference group can actually be advantageous. If I followed my peers, I would have ended up getting pregnant out of wedlock pretty young, I would not have gone to college, and I would be trapped in poverty. That is actual reality growing up in a low socioeconomic neighborhood. I would argue narcissism can be a great short term strategy to escape your current situation, but in the long run, it’s a lonely, unhealthy path.
May 28
The child trying to compensate for the bad object by trying to be a good object. There is splitting, the child says my peers, world, parents, everyone is bad, I'm all good. So I cannot be aggressive, I can't be violent, I cannot act immorally or un-ethically. So he becomes passive-aggressive, his aggression is camouflaged disguised, it wears other forms not easily identifiable for example brutal honesty. Or dark humor.Covert narcissism is admission of failure
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
These children suffer on multiple fronts. Peer rejection is only one dimension of their miserable existence. They have been rejected by their own parents. They've not been allowed to separate and individuate. So they have to endure the parental rejection all the time. They've internalized the parental rejection in the form of bad object. Then they were rejected by peers which cemented the bad object. Then they defend against bad object by pretending.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygD2aohZL3w
May 28
You never outgrow having ADHD because your brain structure is what causes it. You just get better at hiding it. People with ADHD will change the way they act to blend in with the neurotypical people around them. We can't change how we process information. But we can learn how to act more like those around us. This is called Masking. Sometimes the strategies we use to mask our differences stop and lead to neurodivergent breakdown. Not able to hide ND
🟥 Hyperemotionality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0doVM9eSkM
May 28
Hyper-emotionality – we have perfectly appropriate emotions to our circumstances. They're just really big. We get angry for the same reasons typical folks do, but we get angrier. You might get uncomfortable in a crowd, while we might become totally unglued. I was experiencing the same emotions as my friends but the magnitude of my emotions was much greater than what they were experiencing. Related to rejection sensitivity.
🟥 Hyperemotionality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0doVM9eSkM
May 28
RSD is about what's wrong with you and wanting to do anything to fix yourself so someone won't want to reject you, even if there's nothing wrong with you and they haven't really rejected you. But then all the trying to fix yourself becomes the problem.
🟥 Hyperemotionality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0doVM9eSkM
May 28
“I get nervous when I talk in groups” - that's a life challenge, that's not an impairment. Why do more boys have ADHD? They don't. Boys act out more than girls, and so boys get identified and referred to services, and girls didn't. Girls suffered in silence with inattentive ADHD. One of major concerns is people start to use their mental illness as a way of identifying, part of their identity. Refer as that, they say I am autistic, not I have.
🟥 The Mental Breakdown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueoEO1o_S9w
May 28
You are not your diagnosis. Then it's used to self-limit. I can't do this because I am this. I can't do anything about it- is very definitive way to think. You use diagnosis not as way to understand yourself but as a way to limit how much life you live. When we identify ourselves by these mental health conditions it gives a power that extends far beyond just disorder itself, it makes it much more difficult to manage. Name doesn't make it real, tangible
🟥 The Mental Break.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueoEO1o_S9w
May 28
Straight guys have always acted and expected to act in certain way and we don't act that way because we don't give a f* what people think, so we don't conform to someone's preconceived notion of how straight guy acts, because we're open and comfortable with our sexuality, what we are doing. We don't concern ourselves with being called gay. We don't care about it. It's not caring what people are going to say, and just doing whatever we want to do.
🟥 KC Boys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0jxXAX7Tc0
May 28
Just be loving and caring and you'll never be able to make everybody happy. No matter what we post, there will always be somebody who's mad for one reason or another. As long as we have open hearts and genuinely want to do the right thing we are just living our life.
🟥 KC Boys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0jxXAX7Tc0
May 28
I'm a coward, you see. No, I always have been. From being a lad. I can't master it. Well, perhaps I've never tried, really. Just the bloody thought of it gives me the shakes. That's my nightmare, as a matter of fact, the shakes. I don't mind dying. Not if it's quick. Life's not that much, is it? But the shakes? Shellshock. Just shaking and shambling like a epileptic baby. Nay, I'd rather be dead.
🎞️ Ryan's Daughter (1970)
May 29
Quiet BPD exhibit this intense unstable relationship. When they meet someone, “this person has fire extinguisher to put it out” and make everything ok. And then “we'll feel safe and secure and everything will be ok”. However vulnerable narcissism is an effort to maintain superficial connection centered around getting admiration. The reason why they connect to others is that they want that admiration. It's not safety component.
🟥 Quiet BPD and Covert NPD difference
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S26a2Sid7nI
May 29
Medication side effect database
drug.com/sfx
Drug and Supplement Interactions
drugs.com/drug_interactions.html
Symptom Checker
patient.info/symptom-checker
🟥 Doc Snipes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnn-gnrexiU
May 29
“My mission in life now is to make people laugh and shed the shame we were told to have as young queer people,” Williams says, “and rebel against it by being as honest and authentic as possible. My life is not tied to the rules of a world that told me I was wrong.”
📰 Variety
https://www.youtube.com/@thatsagayasspodcast7226/videos
May 29
Following a long-running campaign
for the regulations to be reviewed,
Service chiefs announced that soldiers would be able to sport facial hair
from now on
📰 Soldier (UK)
May 29
If a supernova exploded closer than about 50 light years from Earth, the effects would be devastating to life on the planet, comparable to the mass extinction event.
The best known star likely to produce a Type II supernova any time soon is Betelgeuse, which is a perfectly safe 642 light years away.
📰How It Works
May 29
🗞️ Les Tuniques Bleues
May 30
Psychological, verbal, physical abuse all these forms of abuse do that same: they breach the child's boundaries. They don't allow the child to separate. Ego and the self cannot constellate (put together) and cannot integrate unless there is a repeated exposure to bruising painful reality. You need to be exposed to reality as a child because reality pushes back. As reality pushes back against you, a clear boundary is formed. Boundary of the Self.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4Cqhl
May 30
This is the limit – the point beyond which you start and reality ends. The more you conflict with reality, the more you have this tactile experience of the outside, the external, the easier is for you to form, to establish, to coalesce, and to congeal the internal. Experience of having something inside, internal, crucially depends on an experience of the outside. Exposure to reality, good reality testing, they're critical to formation of ego and self. (Freud)
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4Cqhl
May 30
That's where external object relations come in. Simply put: relationships with people. People are part of reality, external, help you to become who you ultimately are. They form your identity by not being you. When child has no contact with reality, no contact with other people – the child feels estranged from his own life. The child has no self, no functioning self. He has identity disturbance. He has fragmented self. Self states. Pseudo-identities.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
He doesn't have central core. There is emptiness instead of core, we call this the schizoid empty core. This child feels he doesn't exist. When you don't exist, you can't have life, you can't own your life. Unable to inhabit his own life. This child become adult who retreats into familiar modes of infancy and remains fixated there. Leads to concept of inner child. Child like element inside us. IFS Model. Construct of inner child to induce healing.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy (DNMS) is psychotherapy, it is trauma therapy. People who have been exposed to verbal, physical, sexual, psychological abuse – they're traumatized, they have attachment wounds, usually inflicted by parental rejection, neglect, or opposite- enmeshment, infusion, spoiling, pampering. DNMS is ego state therapy, there's assumption that developmental needs were not adequately met in childhood, is stuck in childhood.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
DNMS says that ingrained states of mind can become sub-personalities. Parts of the self, ego states with a point of view. Some parts form by reacting to other parts actually. Others form by introjecting people. Dynamic is both external (messaging, environment, socialization) from outside and internal, interactions between sub-personalities, tend to multiply. These reactive parts hold raw emotions: anxiety, terror, sadness, shame, guilt, to trauma experiences.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
30.5.2024
Childlike playful behaviors, child's curiosity, child's bright eyes sense of wonder they are part of healthy adult psychology and healthy adult life. These are things you should never get rid of. These are functioning parts of childhood survive into adulthood. It is when childish behavioral patterns and procedural learning of life become locked in, inaccessible to growth then we are talking about dysfunction. Entrenched dysfunctional patterns (EDPs).
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
When children cannot talk to adult because the adults are not there, when adults are neglectful, or abusive, or terrifying, the child finds solutions which are childish solutions. A child that grows in healthy environment, adults will help. When he can't he invents child solutions – like I will stay child forever and my parents will never abandon me which is narcissist solution.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
When child cannot ask for help, the child stops to process these needs, the only solution is to not have needs. Not met needs are there, blocked by fear and shame. Maturation is arrested. Reaction become fixated. Then we have adult part that is functioning perfectly in professional settings. Then we have another part, still a child with childish solutions, demands and temper tantrums. Experience of having need in dysfunctional environment, is painful.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
You should provide a Safe zone within which the dysfunctional adult can fulfill other needs and wishes that you are not catering to. The Safe zone provides the opportunity to grow up and mature. When we were much younger, brushing against reality makes you grow up. You need to provide Safe zone within which is safe for the dysfunctional adult to brush against reality. That would make wounded child to grow up. Which needs you will realize, or partial solutions
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
This is post-traumatic condition. Child had been traumatized, he cannot trust you, himself or world, faith, destiny. Instead the inner child, wounded child says I need to control manipulate disregard them. You are instrument to the wounded child. When you are married or working with someone with inner child, this mistrust, this manipulativeness, or withdrawal, these kind of dysfunctional adults avoid people altogether. Objectify other people. Object are safe.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
The adult to survive needs to reshape child content in order to induce growth and integration - and this is what inner child work is all about.
🟥 Sam Vaknin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auJRUJ4CqhI
May 30
🎾 Roland Garros Paris
May 30
⚽ UEFA Europa Conference League, 2024-05-29, 21-03-57, W9
May 30
🌊 Atlantic
May 30
🌊 Atlantic
May 30
May 30th
May 31
If people are giving you the bare minimum, just leave them. Though – We INFJs thrive on this because what that actually mean – a person is giving you a little bit of information and then you make up in your mind what you think is going on. Because most of the time when people talk about bread-crumbing, it always leads to another person thinking I'm not worth more. “That's all I'm going to accept” and be thankful for giving me this little bit.
🟥 Wenzes
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/IvO2ZLiO8Sw
May 31
That's not our main issue as INFJs. The thing that we're attracted to is the fact that we are given a little bit of information and we can create an image in our mind. This is what our mind thrives on. This is not a sign of weakness, this is not a sign of codependency, this is not a sign of anxious attachment. But it can lead us to feeling this way.
🟥 Wenzes
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/IvO2ZLiO8Sw
May 31
The real reason why so many people hate INFJs, have hatred in their heart for INFJs. Plato said: no one is more hated than he who speaks the truth.
🟥 The REAL Reason People HATE INFJ's! MBTI
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lYWLC-BpS3w
May 31
Who are you. Not what are you. What are you without education, without experience, without the role of brother, boyfriend, leader, teacher, speaker, know-it-all? Who are you without the role of what? The reason you have this external perception is from shared fantasy from the lack of your true identity. You have fractured identity, partially formed where narc has no identity. You lived in shared fantasy because you believed what you are.
🟥 theforensicbadass
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9rWfvtcV534
May 31
It is called identity disturbance. Shared fantasy gives you automatic distortions of reality of me of other people, of life itself. Of what you are instead of who you are.
🟥 theforensicbadass
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9rWfvtcV534
May 31
A noisy office isn't a demand . That's sensory sensitivity. Demand avoidance is a response to imposition on your perceived freedoms, even an imposition you set yourself. A noisy office isn't a demand . That's sensory sensitivity. Demand avoidance is a response to imposition on your perceived freedoms, even an imposition you set yourself.
May 31
Liam, I know what you saw and what you think it means, but you don't have all the facts, and until you do...
🎞️ The Bold and The Beautiful (2020)
🌈
