Aug 1, 2023
She'd recognize this is similar to times in my past when I was little and I would get beaten. However what's different in this situation? I am in my own house, I am safe now, I am an adult, there's nobody that is going to beat me and encouraging her to notice what was similar and triggering, but also what was different. Recognizing there is part of her that is wounded child but how are you different now? Not subject to stay in situation she is being abused.
🟥 Doc Snipes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MAVi7aIDqM
Aug 1
How to Deal With Emotional Abuse
- Work on an exit plan
- Stop blaming yourself
- Make your mental and physical health a priority
- Establish boundaries with the abuser
- Realize you can't "fix" and abusive person
- Build a support network
Aug 1
Adaptive capacity = less Vulnerability
Aug 1
Biopsychosocial approach to understanding health
Aug 1
Psychological safety at work doesn't mean that everybody is nice to each other all the time. It means that people feel free to "brainstorm out loud", voice half-finished thoughts, openly challenge the status quo, share feedback, and work through disagreements together.
Aug 1
Our assumptions and pre-judgments guide what we see, interpret and recall. We construct our own reality.
Aug 1
While you can't control your experiences, you can control your explanations.
🟦 Martin Seligman
Aug 1
People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality.
⬜ Spontaneous trait transference
Aug 1
The Kuleshov Effect is the basic principle that you can manipulate emotion through editing.
Aug 1
Yes, you do have an attitude. We're having a little discussion. If you didn't have an attitude, you would not have raised your voice to me, now, would you?
🎞️ Ghost (1990)
Aug 1
It's all in your mind. The problem with you is you still think you're real. You think you're wearing those clothes? You think you're crouched on that floor? Bullshit! You ain't got a body no more, son. It's all up here now. If you want to move something, you've got to move it with your mind.
🎞️ Ghost (1990)
Aug 2
NASA Loses Contact With Voyager 2.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd5eyxdJeh4
Aug 2
The narcissist feels as though you are evil and wrong for being imperfect. And if the narcissist suspects that you were purposely imperfect or trolling them because you knew they were a narcissist, the narcissist will forever hate you for discovering that they are a narcissist.
🟥 pacikadafi
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rgYWPdQTL50
Aug 2
The toxic family tends to explain reality through drama. They will explain a chain of events through this thing called victim-rescuer-perpetrator. It's all smoke and mirrors: when sibling says dad didn't ruin the wedding because he got drunk, you ruined your own wedding because of that text you sent a week ago and he was upset about it. Notice how the victim has been switched.
🟥 patrickteahanlicswtherapy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fHCd5aTBPO8
Aug 2
As childhood trauma survivors we second-guess ourselves. We're full of shame, we self doubt, we have all that going on so unfortunately we're terrible lawyers for ourselves. We don't really advocate for ourselves. So we buy into this and this is a tool to get yourself out of it – don't lose sight about what is actually happened: that the family is trying to spin.
🟥 patrickteahanlicswtherapy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fHCd5aTBPO8
Aug 2
I was like: I'm the problem. Because if you've been involved with a narcissist they convince you that they're perfect and after long time of that type of manipulation you start believing it's you. "I was the problem". People who've been in narcissistic relationships have a very distinct personality. You can look at imprint what leaves behind. The imprint is very distinct, clear and obvious: traumatized personality we stuck in.
🟥 Michele Lee Nieves - Trauma Recovery Coach
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OyXS_hEkhU
Aug 2
What happens to your brain as result of narcissistic abuse: this is why we experience these personality changes. Especially when you are with covert narcissist where everything is hidden and confusing what happens is we actually start utilizing different parts of our brain on daily basis. Our cognitive executive function being in charge instead we start to use our mid-brain. Mid-brain is important but it's there when needed:life threatening situations
🟥 Michele Lee Nieves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OyXS_hEkhU
Aug 2
Phrase walking on eggshells we are living in a hyper alert trauma state. Our brain is vigilant to danger 24/7. We are out of thinking areas of our brain and we are constantly in the survival areas of our brain. That is why we experience so much change in our personality. We lose prefrontal attributes: pause, reflect, reframe, find solutions, joy, find big picture.
🟥 Michele Lee Nieves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OyXS_hEkh
Aug 2
When we don't have access to prefrontal attributes (make clear decisions) and we're stuck in our mid-brain, we wind up reliving stress-based stories and responses over and over again. Our fear response is over-activated. We don't feel safe in our body. We don't have clear thinking, we get stuck in negative thought pattern, struggle with rumination, intrusive thoughts, something bad will happen. We live in constant state of fear.
🟥 Michele Lee Nieves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OyXS_hEkhU
Aug 2
When this happens for prolonged period of time we can get stuck in the 5 main symptoms of Complex PTSD: self abandonment, toxic shame, having a harsh inner critic, social anxiety, and emotional flashbacks. Those 5 main components what they make us feeling and doing become like our new personality. We're not ourselves. We're stuck flinging between those 5 main symptoms. Trauma is stuck inside our body, trauma response. We think that's who we are.
🟥 Michele Lee Nieves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OyXS_hEkhU
Aug 2
It seems obvious from contemporary accounts that the events at Clermont were carefully stage-managed: doubtless Urban had instructed a cleric to set up the chant of "God wills it! God wills it!" and arranged in advance that Adhemar would step forward to take a vow.
The visual drama of 'taking the cross' by attaching it to clothing was also seemingly prearranged, with clerics briefed beforehand to provide the necessary material for the eager men in the crowd.
📖 Crusaders and the crusader knights
Aug 2
Entitled, selfish with impossible standards – that is usually what we receive when we go no contact or speak our truth or set boundaries. Prepare ourselves for gaslighting. Say to them – Regardless what you think about me I'm 100% fine in my choices and what I'm telling you.
🟥 patrickteahanlicswtherapy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vrsb6FfFauM
Aug 2
Many people attracted to cults often have low self-esteem, which makes them more vulnerable to the manipulations of charismatic cult leaders. They are more likely to be manipulated by promises of a better life and respond to the 'love-bombing' method that cults use. Showered with love and praise and made to feel valued and accepted.
📱 app Kinnu
Aug 3
ADHD is a coping mechanism adapted by the kid to deal with trauma and chaos in the kid's home. - James korth
Aug 3
To define gaslighting: is severe mental health condition in which a person identifies with a serious problem, a debilitating problem, characteristics, limitations, that they never had but because a narcissist systematically manipulated their environment they were able to prove to this victim (gaslit self deficit codependent) that they really are this person who is severely limited by this problem. They become problem, person is debilitated.
🟥 Ross Rosenberg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2SHRH6iJdk
Aug 3
It's not what they said. It's what they didn't say. If you are an evil manipulative person and you want someone to be insecure: you could always humiliate them. Use another technique: don't say anything. He doesn't want her to get confident. Gaslighters have either sociopathic traits or are sociopathic. They know what they are doing. They are not like NPD oblivious to the world. Gaslighter has a plan. It is campaign.
🟥 Ross Rosenberg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2SHRH6iJdk
Aug 3
People pleasing and car salesman tactics are not the same! There are people in the world who wish to serve others before themselves! That’s not being manipulative! Then you have people pleasers who are timid, or introverted and that’s still not manipulative!
Aug 3
You got to do what you figure out as best and leave the rest to Lord.
🎞️ Tammy (1957)
Aug 3
A lot of important people will be visiting us during Pilgrimage week. You often say things, unexpected things that can upset people. So between now and then would you please learn not to talk too much. That's all I ask from you.
🎞️ Tammy (1957)
Aug 3
Do you think I can learn to talk so it wouldn't sound different from the other folks?
- Now that's one of the things that can be learned, Tammy. But there is one thing that can't be: to have something worth saying when you do talk. Oh, that's thousands time more important. But that's something you have, Tammy. That's something you have.
🎞️ Tammy (1957)
Aug 3
If we have been dealing with ongoing stress or chronic illness or anxiety for a long period of time, the brain can effectively learn to over protect the body. It can even become sensitized to regular stimuli and things in environment, like set off alarm when there is no burglar present. Dysregulated: throwing out these survival outputs based on neutral or benign inputs.
🟥 How To Reset A Dysregulated Nervous System (in under 60 seconds!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3wf2x2vCLk
Aug 4
A great benefit of session like that is not just sharing the pain but sharing it and still being loved. Somebody still cares for you. It's so important to feel that acceptance and love out there that you can reveal what's happened to you in your life and that people will not reject you. You're so fearful of rejection coming. You can heal past by dealing issues you haven't looked at.
🟥 Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMuVzMKEWVE
Aug 4
I had stuffed mine down my entire life. I had not dealt with feelings because it was too painful to deal with feelings. I didn't know what a feeling was. I suppressed everything, including anger. That's one of the thing that comes out. It's okay to express anger. Anger comes out of hurt, out of being hurt deeply.
🟥 Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMuVzMKEWVE
Aug 4
If you're feeling some pain or feeling some depression or some things that you're remembering in your life: it is very normal. As a matter of fact it is healthy and part of recovery is to begin to get in touch with these feelings.
🟥 Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMuVzMKEWVE
Aug 4
The responsibilities that were beyond our ages, beyond our capabilities and the tremendous fear when it didn't turn out right. We didn't want to upset mother, dad, the chaos would just build and build. And that terrible feeling of being responsible. It was our fault.
🟥 Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Tl1olpCyQ
Aug 4
While behavioral psychology offers valuable insights into human behavior, it is not without limitations and criticism. One key criticism is the focus on observable behavior while neglecting underlying cognitive processes.
Another criticism is the potential for oversimplification and generalization.
Behavioral psychology often relies on controlled laboratory experiments, which may not fully capture the intricacies of real-life situations. Findings not being applicable.
📱 Kinnu
Aug 4
Additionally, there is ongoing debate regarding the ethical implications of behavioral interventions, particularly in areas such as advertising, marketing, and persuasive techniques.
Ethical considerations are an important aspect of behavioral psychology research and practice: must ensure minimizing harm, obtain informed consent.
"Behavioral Psychology"
📱 Kinnu
Aug 4
Pavlov's Dogs experiment is a hallmark in the field of classical conditioning, demonstrating the process by which a neutral stimulus can become associated with a reflexive response.
Environmental cues can shape behavior and the underlying mechanisms of associative learning.
Extinction is the process through which a conditioned response weakens and eventually disappears when the conditioned stimulus is no longer paired with the unconditioned stimulus.
"Behavioral Psychology"
📱 Kinnu
Aug 4
Extinction of Behaviors
The process by which an association between two events is broken.
If behavior is no longer reinforced, the behavior should stop.
Extinction practices usually cause behaviors to get worse before they are eliminated.
Aug 5
You can block anything if you want to. Well, the Sun - how many miles in diameter? You can block it out with one finger, right? That doesn't mean it isn't there.
🎞️ Divorce American Style (1967)
Aug 5
Getting into NBA it was everything that I thought I wanted out of life, but it wasn't until I got there that I knew that it wasn't all that is was cracked up to be. And now that I have a firm foundation in Christ I see that it's a reality of Eternity and that's who I found my identity in and my confidence in my boldness.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EVDLcMnRjU
Aug 5
I really struggled with making friends, and I developed anxiety, self insecurity. That basketball was able to mask: the better I got at it, the more that I was accepted by the people around me. And it started this idea in my head about working for love. The better I became at basketball the more love that I got and attention that I got. True love that loves us for us whether we are right, wrong, whether I make a shot or not that I battle against anxiety.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EVDLcMnRjU
Aug 5
Freezing to death, a nice milkman comes and rescues this Ugly Duckling and takes him into home and warms him up and revives him. But not the Ugly Duckling has endured so much violence, so much ridicule, so much hatred, has such a bad view of himself that when he gets his energy back, he flaps his wings and knocks things over in the house, and the wife of the house kicks him out. He can't even receive love anymore because what's happening in his heart.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EVDLcMnRjU
Aug 5
Judgment - we do it all the time. Judgment is the opposite from forgiveness. When we judge others, we sabotage our life. Judgment puts you in a box, it ruins your life, it sabotages your future. If you're judging others, especially groups of people, you will never achieve what they have. You completely have sabotaged your life when you do that. Unless in some position of authority.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EVDLcMnRjU
Aug 5
Clip the stuff that doesn't matter. Clip the time wasting. When you rest, really rest, really be there. Time is the most important resource you have.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EVDLcMnRjU
Aug 5
'Even in Arcadia , there I (i.e. Death) am'.
Et in Arcadia ego is a 1637–38 painting by Nicolas Poussin, the leading painter of the classical French Baroque style. It depicts a pastoral scene with idealized shepherds from classical antiquity, and a woman, possibly a shepherdess, gathered around an austere tomb that includes this inscription.
Wikipedia
Artist: Nicolas Poussin
Periods: Classicism, Baroque
Location: Louvre Museum
Created: 1637–1638
Genre: History painting
Medium: oil on canvas
Aug 5
Taq Kasra, also called the Archway of Ctesiphon, is located about 35 kilometers (22 miles) south of Baghdad.
Built: ca. 3rd-6th century AD
Aug 6
You don’t have to fit in the frame and the measure, you could be before the measure, come in the middle of the measure, but as long as you find that location of exit, it’ll make sense.
doku Dean Martin: King of Cool (2021)
Aug 6
People never leave a sinking ship until they see the lights of another ship approaching.
🟦 Buckminster Fuller
Aug 6
The grief that does not speak whispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break.
📖 William Shakespeare, Macbeth.
Aug 6
There’s a line in Shakespeare’s Macbeth, "The grief that does not speak, whispers over the fraught heart and bids it break."
Grief that you hold on to, it wants to get out and so it breaks the heart to get out.
🎞️ Dean Martin: King of Cool (2021)
Aug 6
Martin seemed like somebody who had no tolerance for bullshit. To be somebody who was cool was that you were honest. You were honest about yourself. You were honest about the world about you. You didn’t accept bullshit.
‐ Dean Martin had a kind of honor code.
🎞️ Dean Martin: King of Cool (2021)
Aug 6
People who are full of vision, excellence, integrity, the destiny genes in them will help activate the destiny genes in you. Get around people who make your baby leap, not people who put your baby to sleep. Sometimes we don't want hurt people's feelings and I know they are not good for me, they pull me down, they're negative, “eat lunch with them, I don't want to rock the boat”. Listen, that boat is already sinking.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3b60FoYDpI
Aug 6
Life is too short. Your destiny too great, your assignment too important to spend it with people who always pull you down. It's not only affecting you, it's affecting the next generation. Set a new standard, raise the bar. I understand - We all have to be around people who are negative and critical, God will give us grace about that, I am talking about when you DO have a choice. Something to inspire you and build you up.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3b60FoYDpl
Aug 6
What happens when the threat doesn't go away or doesn't pass? In cases of prolonged stress, such as enduring narcissistic abuse this crucial rest and recovery phase is continually disrupted. The body finds itself in a chronic state of alert or hyper arousal. This constant exposure to stress hormones along with the parasympathetic systems struggle to restore calm – lead to variety of physical symptoms, including muscle twitching. This is the body's SOS.
🟥 Danish Bashir
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yCzImY_HJ4
Aug 6
August clouds.
Aug 6
Hasty generalization:
a type of informal fallacy that occurs when someone generalizes an experience from examples - not evidence.
Aug 6
Bunch of weirdos and queers.
- I've told you not to use those words. Why don't you just accept that we are all free to live our own lifestyle and do exactly what we do?
🎞️ Making of a Male Model (1983)
Aug 6
- Why you didn't tell me who will be there?
- Ward Hawley is a professional. He is looking for an image. Not a friend.
🎞️ Making of a Male Model (1983)
Aug 6
What we think drives our emotions
VS.
What actually drives our emotions
Aug 6
Things autistic people get judged for
- Asking in-depth questions on a content area that get perceived as challening the authority
- Working harder than expected on tasks and projects can get perceived as "brown-nosing" or "being weird"
- Asking clarifying questions to understand what is being said to them
- Overexplaning in an effort to be understood and out of anxiety of not getting their thoughts across clearly
- Being focused on a task and not on chatting/socializing
Yulika Forman, PhD, LHMC
Aug 6
Up close, people look something like this: somewhat positive and somewhat negative experiences, intermingling
Aug 7
When we doubt our own ability to process and explain life events, we will never be able to trust ourselves. With CBT we will get stuck in low self esteem and destroyed self worth, since we won't believe our own mind what is telling us.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ideas
Aug 7
Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. HSPs differ mainly in their sensitive processing of subtle stimuli. This is your most basic quality.
The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron
Aug 7
“I bet they’ll forget in the next 10 minutes” 😭
With being nice and friendly, as shown in this video - we will attract EXACTLY such people in our lives - because we will try to be cool and happy and chirpy and open all the time - and labeling our fears and panic as unmanly and sissy and something to be ashamed off - so our fear and panic will not be there to protect us against toxic people at all in our lives.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/07/m
Aug 7
Instead of CBT there is Humanistic psychology which actually works.
IT is based on idea that unless we are serial killers - there is nothing wrong with us and we are not sick nor abnormal and we do not have disorder. Disorder lies in toxic ambient which is abusing us.
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/07/m
Aug 7
Dialectical Thinking
I am angry with you... and I will treat you with respect.
Aug 7
Stay weird.
And never apologize for your weirdness.
Aug 7
If your brain didn't filter out distractions, you'd never be able to focus enough to get anything done.
⬜ Inattentional Blindness
Aug 7
In accessible style, "Homo Exploratoris" tackles fundamental questions. Is humanity going forth to the stars, or back to the caves? Is humanity a naked ape species, or an apprentice god? Are we evolving to be both rational enough to do God's job - create worlds at will - and irrational enough to want it, too? ... Google Books
Originally published: April 2022
Author: Alexander Shenderov
Aug 7
Over 1000 people going to die. We can stop it. We can make it so it never happens.
- That's not what's wrong. I know it's hard to understand but sometimes history is cruel. There is wars, disasters, injustices, but some of these things no matter how much you don't want to happen are suppose to happen.
🎞️ Voyager from the Unknown (1982)
Aug 8
What's the difference between having RSD and just being a really sensitive person?
- I fear the rejection that has not yet happened and will likely never happen. For example when you said that I can come whenever I want my brain made me think that you didn't actually want me there since it wasn't said explicitly. And that can spiral into thoughts like if you even like me as a friend.
🟥accidentalboar
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tM0fhWXvYp0
Aug 8
I know that your fear is real. I feel fear too. But my desire to do the things I'm doing are bigger than my fears. My desire to be my own boss. Those things are very strong desires for me and they supersede my fear. So if your desires to start your own business are not superseding your fear than you may not want it badly enough. And that's okay you learned something about yourself.
🟥 Caren Magill | ADHD + Multipotentialites
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YvaroSXBVM
Aug 8
You think you can learn to become a man in a few days? It's taken me years.
🎞️ Her Life as a Man (1984)
Aug 8
When I dress like a man, people treat me differently. And I feel different and I feel stronger. I do things that Carly never would do. Like this trip to Portland. I like the things men get. I like the respect. I'm learning what it's like to be on the other side.
🎞️ Her Life as a Man (1984)
Aug 8
Man have a certain way of thinking. Win all the time. Take on the world. From the time we're born they teach us to never show our feelings because it's a sign of weakness. Sounds like your wife just wants you to open up and let her inside.
🎞️ Her Life as a Man (1984)
Aug 9
Able to look back at your life including a lot of chaos, and challenge, and struggle that has been significant part of it, and you no longer chalk all of that up to you just being a flawed and defective person. This might include like having severe difficulty in forming intimate relationships whether friendship or romantic, struggling to achieve goals that feel meaningful to you, managing health, list goes on.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUySKluL7rl
Aug 9
In case of CPTSD it's likely that you're going to spend the majority of your life and your energy managing your symptoms of these problems. And then when you're unable to do so consistently because you're not getting them to the root cause (you're just playing whack-a-mole with them), the story you might tell yourself if you have that shame bound personality is; "I am defective and flawed and there is something wrong with me".
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUySKluL7rl
Aug 9
As Pete Walker says, we're not looking for perfection, we're looking for good enough. The problem with being in kind of desert of loneliness was anytime someone would came by and they had a water bottle, even if there was a poison in it, I would take it from them and drink it. Because there was a part of me that was so desperately wanted to be seen on deep level that I didn't really care what the cost of that was.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUySKluL7rl
Aug 9
The more we resist accepting that we're in periods of surviving, the more we're likely to turn to those unhealthy coping mechanisms to kind of dissociate from the whole thing. Refuse to accept we are in survival state. Those survival periods are my opportunities to practice deep humility. I try to reframe it as it is my time to be taught, humble myself and let life teach me the lesson I currently need.
🟥 Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUySKluL7rl
Aug 9
⬜ Why do narcissists find conspiracy theories so appealing? - ScienceDirect
Aug 9
Parents and other authority figures often blame children for things that they themselves are fundamentally, responsible for. Or they hold the child to impossible standards and expectations where the child is punished for making mistakes or being imperfect and blamed for failing.
🟦 Darius Cikanavicius
Aug 9
Since the children are powerless and dependent, they have no choice but to accept any treatment they receive from their caregivers: Since the children don't have a frame of reference, they also tend to normalize their environment or even perceive it as loving, caring childrearing.
🟦 Darius Cikanavicius
Aug 9
So many of us confused guilt with love. We've thought that we need to follow guilt, listen to guilt, serve guilt, do everything that guilt says and we're realizing that it has created a lot of toxic influences in our thoughts, emotions and relationships.
🟥 Mark DeJesus
"The Freedom Journey from Toxic Guilt"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne9Tvo01k2A
Aug 9
"Planets in retrograde" scare.
Aug 9
Children raised by overly indulgent or neglectful parents may develop narcissistic traits as a coping mechanism – to seek attention, to compensate for lack of emotional support, or emotional neglect. A lot of parents have good intentions but the intent doesn't match up with the impact that they're actually having on their kids lives. Not realizing it doesn't help their kids grow, develop or mature into person called to be.
🟥 Raw Motivations
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnoQ__K44vQ
Aug 9
There's nothing to protect. This is just me trying to run away from being vulnerable. Think of growing up in a household where person face constant criticism. Emotional abuse during childhood may develop a grandiose sense of self. And it's self-image and excess need for admiration to compensate for the deep-seated feelings of worthlessness.
Where Does a Narcissist Come From?
🟥 Raw Motivations
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnoQ__K44vQ
Aug 9
Higher-order conditioning is a phenomenon in which a previously neutral stimulus comes to evoke a conditioned response after being paired with a conditioned stimulus, rather than an unconditional stimulus.
Classical Conditioning
📱 Kinnu
Aug 9
People don't like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.
🟦 Helen Keller
Aug 9
Anybody ever licked your toes? Sometimes that helps. Or I could spank you.
🎞️ Homework (1982)
Aug 10
If people realise that human rights exist only in the imagination, isn't there a danger that our society will collapse?
Voltaire said that 'there is no God, but don't tell that to my servant, lest he murder me at night'.
📱 Deepstash
Aug 10
He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.
🟦 Friedrich Nietzsche.
Aug 10
Regulating your emotions doesn't mean suppressing them...
actually, acknowledging and understanding your feelings can lead to healthier emotional control.
🟥 thepsycorner
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gwFVF9c3EGw
![[Emotion Fact] Regulating Emotions: Not What You Think! 🎭🔍 - #shorts
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gwFVF9c3EGw](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/110/864/486/676/181/173/small/c1b48332ea2d8f21.png)
Aug 10
You'll find other beautiful things to fill your days with.
🟦 Lang Leav
Aug 10
Never expect a sane response from an insane person.
🟦 Renee Fredrickson
Aug 10
Your insight threatens people's lack of insight. They will mistake your insight as an attack and then actually attack you in order to defend their denial.
🟦Daniel Mackler
Aug 10
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
🟦 Mark Twain
Aug 10
Confidence is silent.
Insecurities are loud.
Aug 10
Common sense is a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.
Aug 10
"I can see it all from here"
Aug 10
Very often we break egos because we try to make the other person feel better. We say, oh okay, I'm going to pretend like I'm weaker than I actually am. So you don't feel so weak in my presence. Or if I was my full-blown self and wasn't dimming my light. But as some point your true nature always comes out. And once you do that, the other person recognize you done this because you thought they were weaker. That breaks ego in a heartbeat.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUBXVqsQ-lM
Aug 10
It's not on you to make the other person feel better about themselves by making yourself small. You are everything that you are, and that includes being mentally strong.
We were often make decisions for the other people they couldn't handle it, so I'm going to dim my light. Be your biggest, best version. Be in such a way that makes you feel good about yourself as early on as you possibly can. Other people can decide if they want this or not.
🟥 Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUBXVqsQ-lM
Aug 10
Guilt-tripping hiking map.
Aug 10
Social anxiety issues that we feel is our high moral and ethical standards that are in direct clash with personality types of predators who do not care about safety, progress, well being but their own selfish agenda.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide
Aug 10
Fritz Kraul's Christmas card from 1915 was inspiration for The Smurfs?
Aug 11
So what causes the imposter syndrome. It has to do with personality traits but also family backgrounds. Oftentimes people who feel like imposters talk about coming from families where high achieving was emphasized. You had to have straight A's, to be best. Yet in the same time they were criticized for anything that they did wrong. So there's lots of nitpicking. No matter how hard – it is not good enough, you don't feel good enough.
🟥 Dr. Donna Leigh Bliss | Optimal Mental
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl6mkptrLq8
Aug 11
How you get over feeling like imposter? Well it's not really a very fair question because it's not something to get over, it's not like an attitude that you can just change. "Today I'm not going to feel like imposter". Because at the root of the syndrome of beliefs you've learned growing up, dysfunctional family of some sort, where you don't measure up, it is not good enough. Understand how powerful these beliefs are.
🟥 Dr. Donna Leigh Bliss | Optimal Mental
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl6mkptrLq8
Aug 11
Beliefs are almost like a living entity. They can get people very aroused. Think about belief people have about religion, politics, sporting events. Where people get very excited and emotionally aroused. And if something challenges their beliefs people can get very upset and aroused to the point where people can get violent, hurt other to defend their belief. So inner belief of being fraud has a lot of energy that you can't just turn off. Explore.
🟥 Dr. Donna Leigh Bliss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl6mkptrLq8
Aug 11
It wasn't little bit of steroids. They saw him with needles. He became really ill-tempered. He was constantly looking for a fight, massively argumentative, things either get his way or there'll be trouble. He starts to be quite controlling. It's not enough to see he's physically shifted, more confident. That's not payoff he is looking for. He looks for people always assuming he is correct. And if not, there will be consequences.
🟥 From Puppy Love to Deadly Obsession
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFleBFXQj9U
Aug 11
When you think about intimate relationships, we have to collaborate. Sometimes we have to compromise. We can disagree, that disagreement to be acceptable. We are different people, we have different agenda, core values. And if you are somebody who is not willing to see that then you can ultimately become quite coercive in the way you treat people. Have them act in a way you consider acceptable and appropriate or there will be trouble.
🟥 From Puppy Love to Deadly Obsession
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFleBFXQj9U
Aug 11
She grows tired of his aggressive behavior, she breaks things off for good. Because she's a smart cookie and she comes from a good home. And even though she hasn't had intimate relationships before the truth is she knows what a good relationship look like because she's had them in her home. She is just an object for his pleasure or pain of whatever he chooses. If she dares to call shots, there will be consequences.
🟥 From Puppy Love to Deadly Obsession
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFleBFXQj9U
Aug 11
In the US in 2013 changes occurred: that full life term offenders for youth offenders were declared unconstitutional. They said because young people's brain is still developing till the age of 25, they felt that it was unsafe to send youths even in psychopathic in nature, done heinous of murders it was not ethical they could never be free. Because they could change. I feel like Fuller will take full advantage of that loophole.
🟥 From Puppy Love to Deadly Obsession
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFleBFXQj9U
Aug 11
Just get up and dance.
Aug 11
"The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones."
- John Maynard Keynes
:calculator: Deepstash app
Aug 12
Freud ransomed
Aug 12
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
🟦 Abraham Lincoln
Aug 12
You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.
🟦 Abraham Lincoln
Aug 12
Scene from Ocean's Eleven (1960).
Aug 12
If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint", then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.
🟦 Vincent van Gogh
Aug 12
PTSD – in some ways has been profoundly important definition in that it gave a voice to people who are really suffering and who are otherwise diagnosed as well "It's just in your head". Or "it's not flashbacks but paranoid schizophrenia" and so forth. The movements that you are making are the kind of movements that your body would have made if there was an explosion. It is repeating those movements over and over again. That's what body does in trauma.
🟥 Peter Levine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1RnTipiU_Q
Aug 12
Body replays the trauma over and over as somatic signs and symptoms. That's really important; that it's not primarily about the memory but of the recycling of what you could call a procedural memory, "the body memory" and how it gets stuck. If we know that and we can access it that something so severe can actually change in moments. Having an explosion it's almost like you get jolted out of your body. What we're doing is calling it back into your body.
🟥 Peter Levine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1RnTipiU_Q
Aug 12
Kant thought there must be something which exists independently of us that is the cause of our representations
Aug 13
"If you look for comfort, you will never find truth"
Aug 13
If you don't recognize that you are enough, then you'll always be depended on other people to make you feel good about who you are.
If you live thinking you are at a deficit, you'll under-sell yourself. You'll play up to people, you'll let them control you, that's where you're getting your validation. But when you know you are enough, by yourself, you won't rely on people to approve you, you'll get your approval from your Heavenly Father. People can change.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WWuiK980_c
Aug 13
I'm wondering if you're looking for something that you already have?
You're looking around you - God is saying, look in you. You have the talent, you have the creativity, you have the confidence. See yourself as no-lack person. Deficit mentality will keep you from your destiny. What you need is in you, but you have to stir it up. As long as you think you're short changed, it will keep you from raising higher.
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WWuiK980_c
Aug 13
We see everything intuited in space and time hence all objects of an experience possible to us are nothing but appearances i.e mere representations. Which as they are represented as extended beings or a series of alterations, have outside our thoughts no existed granted in itself.
🟥 What is Transcendental Idealism?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Ls1FRrwUj28
Aug 13
Transcendental means this claim about objects as they exist outside of our experience that these objects of our experience are ideal. And ideal means without existence independently of our minds. This is opposite of real which means with existence independently of our minds. Objects have their independent existence outside the realm of our possible experience. Outside of our experience that God might experience or look at things.
🟥 What is Transcendental Idealism?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Ls1FRrwUj28
Aug 13
When God looks at these objects, s/he would see that these objects are not independent existent things of our mind in that transcendental realm.
Empirical realism is that objects exist independently of our minds within our experience: objects exist independently of our minds, we don't determine them with our thoughts, we don't make them with our whims.
Your soul might leave that realm then you would see those things don't exist independent
🟥 What's Transcendental Idealism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Ls1FRrwUj28
Aug 13
For Plato what is true are forms. For Kant it's the opposite – Kant thinks what is within our experience is what is really real. Objects of our experience are real in one sense and real in another. If we can take something in more than one sense we can avoid contradiction. So objects of our experience are real, they exist independently of our mind: we can't determine them with our thoughts. At the same time they are ideal. We transcend that realm.
🟥 What is Transcendental Idealism?
Aug 13
Kant sees the human mind as actively constructing reality.
🟥 Kant 2: Transcendental Idealism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=HE40mKqUkos
Aug 13
The problem is, some people get bitten a lot more than others and the little things often add up to be too much.
⬜ Microaggression
Aug 13
Next time round, you'll get hurt more easily
⬜ Anatomy of a Microaggression
Aug 13
“Every new idea is just a mashup or a remix of one or more previous ideas.”
- Austin Kleon
:calculator: Deepstash app
Aug 14
a lot of studies show that how we were loved or unloved between the ages of zero to five, impacts the next 15, 25, 50 years of our life. And how we give love to ourselves and how we give love to others.
🟥 BuzzFlowTrends
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sM3uDR2guuk
Aug 14
It often stems from childhood where we didn't feel like we were "man enough" or cool enough, we weren't basically good enough for women or some variation of it. Maybe we weren't man enough for our dad or for God, whatever, we didn't feel like we were good enough and that impacted our self-esteem. But is also impacted our social skills, for example selective focus.
🟥 Sissy Recovery
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwHnLQlgNys
Aug 14
There is in-authenticity or not full authenticity and then there's just full authenticity where you just own what is that is you. And you're gonna come across maybe more nervous but it's ultimately going to be in your best interest. You're going to be coming across more attractive, it's a lot more relatable. When you open how you feeling and when you fully owning it, and fully honest about it even like really mad, or depressed, than putting on a front.
🟥 Sissy Recovery
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwHnLQlgNys
Aug 14
"You're good enough" – there was this layer of resistance where I didn't want fully that to land. More I worked on that my social anxiety or my social skills have skyrocketed because I'm not afraid. Once you learn to love yourself – you're not seeking it from others. So it doesn't really matter what people think of you. At the end of the day you can be there for yourself, not depended on other people's validation and you'll be able to take better actions.
🟥 Sissy Recovery
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwHnLQlgNys
Aug 14
On the same day as the funeral scene was filmed, President John F. Kennedy (a personal friend of Frank Sinatra's) was assassinated.
After the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, Frank Sinatra regretted for the rest of his life leaving in the line "You come over like George Washington I'll send you back like Abe Lincoln."
⬜IMDb trivia
🎞️ Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964)
Aug 14
It doesn't mean we get up and leave conference room. But it could very well mean we distance ourselves, don't get into idle chit-chat, and end the conversation as soon as possible.
"Avoiding Narcissists by TRUSTING YOUR GUT"
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48K5auz84Zc
Aug 14
"reMarkable" thingamajig.
I love it!
https://remarkable.com/
Aug 15
It was actually from the structure, within the corporate entity. When you extract from there then you can just be in that world but not of it. And now you can make decisions based on your own personal sovereignty and the infinite field of possibilities rather on this limited field of what the industrial complex says that you should be doing in any given moment at any given day.
🟥 Allison Pelot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1DnNOh__WU
Aug 15
Flow of the energy. It's coming up for a reason. It wants you to let it move through.
- To transmute it, to alchemize it, to use it as an invitation rather than being in problem-reaction-solution triad, why don't we just look at: If I'm feeling anxious, what is it an invitation to do? If I feel bored, it is to contribute, to get creative. Angle that we look at, rather than pathologizing everything. Own ourselves, be super clear what I am, I tell truth.
🟥 Allison Pelot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1DnNOh__WU
Aug 15
Who I am and super clear about what my mission is, and then it doesn't matter what you think about me or what I have to say - I'm truth teller and I'm going to tell the truth. And truth creates glitches in the matrix.
🟥 Allison Pelot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1DnNOh__WU
Aug 15
Interesting take on feeling responsible for anything in life, 10x rule claims it is path to the success:
Aug 15
'Obsession is a gift' argument, by 10x rule
Aug 15
Most people do not understand the signs of hypnosis. They seem to think they're be unconscious, not knowing what they're doing - that's wrong. You hypnotize yourself by taking my suggestions, you're relaxed, you're creative, lots of hidden talents will come out but you're not going to lose control. If anything, you'll gain control. You just have to be very sincere and want it, it is the most relaxed feeling in the world,totally relax
🟥 Miss Pat Collins: The Hip Hypnotist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfl2FfxYyPE
Aug 15
Why are you so mean?
🎞️ It Happened to Jane (1959)
Aug 16
I love Austrian radio ORF Kärnten.
They play mostly Golden Oldies and 80s, European crooner hits, but they also drop current hits like this one:
Taylor Swift - Snow On The Beach (Feat. More Lana Del Rey)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CnUYMmEHrs
Aug 16
Understanding others is like solving a complex puzzle.
🟥 "11 Things a Covert Narcissist May Do", Relationship Reboot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vQ9KCDC76w
Aug 16
People who are flat out not into you. Neglect in childhood and the way your parents put you down it makes you the perfect person for these unavailable partners to draw energy and self-esteem from. They take your energy, self-esteem and they get to have those things for themselves. It works because you think this is love. You think you can make this work.
🟥 Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BcUA5hEIAE
Aug 16
Probably a person does not have to get to know you well to find out that you have never been loved properly. That you're sad because nobody asks you about your day. That you're by yourself with that. That people let you down.
Someone who is tying up all your emotional energy so that they can take it while they are married is not your friend. They are not caring for you, they are deceiving you and their wife.
🟥 Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BcUA5hEIAE
Aug 16
There is a difference between a belief and a conviction. A belief can become something you merely hold; a conviction is that which holds you.
🟦 Ravi Zacharias
Aug 16
Longing is not good for you. If you can't have the person, if they cannot be with you, they're not a good person. So your job is to learn how to shut the door and be like, I feel sad. You move forward to emotional availability. Loneliness is a fuel that push many of us to worst decisions.
"If You "Throw" Love At Unavailable People, It Could Be From Wounds of Neglect"
🟥 Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BcUA5hEIAE
Aug 16
One man with conviction will overwhelm a hundred who have only opinions.
🟦 Winston Churchill
Aug 16
There's a super powerful effect that happens when you really like are honest with yourself about what you want. When you're honest with yourself it can start to direct your thoughts and direct your eyes and direct your heart towards something better for yourself than you've ever had before.
🟥 Crappy Childhood Fairy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BcUA5hEIAE
Aug 16
A man of conviction is often more to be desired than a man of experience.
🟦 Curt Siodmak
Aug 16
I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.
🎞️ The Shootist (1976)
Aug 16
Man positively needs general ideas and convictions that will give a meaning to his life and enable him to find a place for himself in the universe.
🟦 Carl Jung
Aug 16
The average person experiences hypnosis at least twice a day: day-dreaming, in deep thought, watching TV. Advertisers imprint with keywords and images that will invoke a response when they see the image or word again.
Aug 16
If you were unable to be hypnotized, you would also be unable to focus your attention long enough to perform your job, read a book, or carry on a coherent conversation for more than a few minutes. You naturally enter hypnosis every day of your life.
Aug 16
Who says the belief is wrong?
Who wants to make the change?
Why do they want to make this change?
Those are three important question which I would be asking before looking to effect a belief change.
Keith Blakemore-Noble
⬜ Quora: Is it possible to remove some wrong belief from subconscious by hypnosis?
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-re
Aug 16
A belief is something that is considered correct and true. Person can believe in various things such as cultural or personal faith, morality or values. It expresses viewpoints but it is not based on facts or evidence. A belief is also an opinion which is why it cannot serve as basis for a formal argument. Beliefs are very personal ideas and cannot be rejected because they express an opinion. Also these beliefs are not mandatory to change completely.
🟥 Sir Paul Englishero
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r3eccHeyoE
Aug 16
A conviction is something that an individual is convinced of. To be convinced you need to obtain all the related information. Based on information that conviction is built a belief changes with time and new experiences yet a conviction remains the same. Conviction is more complex than belief as it becomes a point of view of the world.
Phrases expressing beliefs:
I believe, In my opinion, I think, I feel, In my personal view, From my point of view...
🟥 Sir Paul Englishero
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r3eccHeyoE
Aug 16
"Conversion" practices timeline
Aug 16
Don't yell, dear. You call a person. You yell, if you are in pain.
🎞️High Society (1956)
Aug 16
I tried hard to figure it out. Your father hurt you deeply when he hurt your mother. So you started demanding perfection. Nobody was gonna hurt you. You felt I tricked you. I didn't know you wanted a husband who'd be high priest to a virgin goddess. You'd be a wonderful woman if you'd just let your tiara slip a little.
But you'll never be a wonderful woman, or even a wonderful human being... ...until you learn to have some regard for human frailty.
🎞️ High Society (1956)
Aug 16
The ad agency's viewing room has both color and black-and-white televisions side by side. This was common in the 1960s, allowing the executives to see how the commercial would appear in both color and B&W.
IMDd trivia
🎞️ The Thrill of It All (1963)
Aug 17
I'm very proud of you in recognizing the wrong you did. It's very mature.
🎞️ A Killer Among Friends (1992)
Aug 17
I taught these girls how to swim. To drive. Everything. Those girls were my daughter's best friends.
- On the surface. Inside Ellen was burning up with jealousy. Jenny was everything she wasn't and could never be. Carla was a follower, always a puppet.
🎞️ A Killer Among Friends (1992)
Aug 17
She fooled a lot of people. You are loving and trusting person.
Just like Jenny.
- And that's what got her killed, isn't it?
- No. She trusted and loved the wrong people.
🎞️ A Killer Among Friends (1992)
Aug 19
It doesn't necessarily have to be alcoholism in the household. And a lot of times we don't really understand what dysfunctional households are because what our normal is – is our normal. So we might not necessarily recognize dysfunction from the beginning. We might recognize traits but not always dysfunction. Look at dysfunction in terms of stress. Was there a lot of stress and tension in the house growing up? Sometimes that is easier to identify.
🟥 The Intimacy Gram
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eqL2gk0odc
Aug 18
Adult children, those of us who grew up and who feel inadequate. We have very low self-worth, and we respond to adult situations very much like a child would. We subjugate our needs for the sake of others, we feel subordinate to other people. There's a real lack of self-efficacy. We don't feel like we have ability to stand up for ourselves, to speak on behalf of ourselves. There's a real deficit and the ability to self-advocate
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
If you grew up feeling like who you were was unimportant and that made you feel like you did not belong then you may have some adult child issues and it was not your fault. Our brains are literally wired to look for negative, negative bias. They we're more likely to survive. We could suffer major consequences of not being able to see the holes in the wall. We don't even know that we are not authentic. It is our norm to smile on cue
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
It is so our norm to make sure other people are okay. It is so our norm to feel responsible for other people's failures and also feel responsible whether they succeed of not. Once you look at it above the veil you can see how insane it is. How a codependent views other people is I am responsible and we carry this burden, result of childhood programming, not feeling good enough. Like carrot on a string: attention, validation, seeking approval, love, touch
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
You develop all sorts of survival skills to help compensate for that fear level that you have because you feel so distrustful of other people. But when this is your norm you don't know you are faking it. You're not even aware you're not being authentic. As Gabor Mate says you have been forced to look for attachment over authenticity. Because being authentic meant pain. If I told I felt certain way, I was mocked. Been called selfish.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
So having a want and expressing that want takes a lot of courage. When you have been conditioned mentally and emotionally to associate a negative outcome with daring to ask. Adult children are so afraid of being seen as burden we just stop asking. But this is the key: we don't know we're not asking anymore. We don't know we're in automation program, living below the veil of consciousness. That we've been conditioned to be inauthentic out of survival.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
We don't realize we're doing it. We step into television screen and we think we are Bravo. TLC, NBC. We don't realize we're not the story that's being played out on the screen. The story is our story, it is what is happening to us, but we're not the story. We are so much more than this storyline. At subconscious level we don't know we're faking our happiness. We have been neurologically programmed through conditioning to fear speaking up.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
In terms how neurology works, it works through chemistry. Pain versus pleasure. So if I associate pain with speaking up, asking for more as a child, and I watch my mother: hostile, abrasive, screaming all the time, and I know when I reach out she pushes me away, then I'm being conditioned to fear her. So fear has certain chemical outputs and we associate cortisol with fear. Brain is being wired to avoid that pain.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
3rd reason we fake happiness, we don't know we're doing it, many codependents have been conditioned to think that people in their lives don't really care about what they have to say. Conditioned to they just don't want to hear it. All they want to hear is life is great. "You're silly, you're difficult to please". They want me to smile, because they didn't know how to deal with authenticity.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
I learned to fake happiness because as child I associated more pain with speaking up. And more pleasure with faking happiness. I knew I couldn't have true authentic relationship so being authentic I would be called liar, drama queen, that I am making things up – you can't be authentic. That teaches you speaking up is wrong, that you smile at cue, fake it, you can't tell truth how you feel because you'd be criticized.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
We get the message that speaking our truth we are seen as burden. And we get the feeling if we tell our truth other people see us as a burden. And that will elicit all sorts of shame and guilt. We don't feel worthy of having someone listen to us. Not as much to fix us, we want to know someone resonate with what we're saying and have empathy for us.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UswNAb0Wys
Aug 18
I believe after 50 years of studying this issue that the hypothesis that there's a specific medical disorder called ADHD causing these symptoms is wrong. There are many points of view that can account for those symptoms. I call ADHD a myth. What is looked as ADHD may actually be Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
🟥 Thomas Armstrong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uso4HSY2ANE
Aug 18
Infants, children and teens depend on individuals with mature nervous systems ie. adults to brine them into maturity, physically, emotionally, socially and morally. Requires that adults provide dependable nourishing inspiring care for those who are depended on them. As long as the adults provide these nurturing influences the all important process of maturation can take place.
🟥 Thomas Armstrong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uso4HSY2ANE
Aug 18
Secret of multiplication. It has to do something with multiplication.
Done through love the result is a baby. Lovely thing-
But without love, done through hate, or with fear, the result is a monster. An element that grows.
🎞️ The Magnetic Monster (1953)
Aug 18
Nancy Reagan in sci-fi movie Donovan's Brain (1953)
Aug 18
Hatred is Evil.
🎞️ Diary of a Madman (1963)
Aug 19
Google panorama street cam forerunner, precursor, harbinger, herald - from Switzerland, 1963.
Karl Wolf
The 9-camera system on Heiniger’s Chevrolet: the filmmaker worked hard for the Expo film
around 1963
© Fotostiftung Schweiz
Aug 19
Sometimes God is preparing you for leadership. If you want to be a leader, you got to endure stress, you have to endure disappointment, letdowns, disagreements and arguments, and all sorts of challenges. Leading is stressful, painful. Sam Chan says your ability to lead is equal to your ability to endure pain over long period of time. You learn to endure pain, you can learn to lead.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KohO6SZGOoE
Aug 19
An investment in good appearance
👔 J. C. Leyendecker – B. Kuppenheimer & Company advertisement
Aug 19
You can't have a bitter heart and have a better life.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KohO6SZGOoE
Aug 19
„Wir müssen uns selbst darstellen“
"We have to represent ourselves"
⬜ Patrick Angus
https://www.stuttgarter-nachrichten.de/inh
Aug 19
If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.
🟦 Carlos Castaneda
Aug 19
We perceive. This is a hard fact. But what we perceive is not a fact of the same kind, because we learn what we perceive.
🟦 Carlos Castaneda
Aug 19
CBT meme.
Aug 20
CBT meme 2.
Aug 20
Don't let your environment dictate your identity. The truth is she was a principle when she was washing dishes. She was a leader when she was in that dysfunctional home. She just didn't know it yet. On your way to your destiny there will be environments that contradict what God has for you. Circumstances which are just the opposite of what you know are in your heart. It's tempting to let what's not happening define who you are (“always be lonely”).
✝️ JOEL OSTEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAzzc7BupNY
Aug 20
Maypop
Aug 20
We're trying to escape our pain, problem, discomfort in hopes of getting somewhere else. This leads to kind of pressure, pushing, denial, rejection of our pain. It leads treating them as a problem or enemy or something to fix. And that creates very deep, very stuck place in healing. When we deny our own pain we are rejecting our living experience. It can't heal if we don't acknowledge it. We can't reach peace, we're in way.
🟥 Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijxXOmiLukU
Aug 20
I'm integrating my experience, allowing my physical body, my somatic body to move through the cycle that needs to go through. So that the emotion finds a place of rest. My initial response is trying to get rid of shame, trying to convince myself everything's ok. That is form of resistance. It's my reflex, it is painful to feel, it hurts, I don't want to be in that space. Acknowledge it and warm and peace started to show up in the body. Let my shame be known
🟥 Heal Your Codependency with Marshall
Aug 20
I think English become more English in America than they actually are. People find us charming and polite and well-read. We are, but we become even more so when we come here. So I thought writing song more about Quentin (Crisp) then myself.
🎞️ Resident Alien (1990)
Aug 20
It's very easy to avoid an attack by becoming court jester. And he became court jester for the straight world.
🎞️ Resident Alien (1990)
Aug 20
I do think of myself as artificial, as an invention.
- How much of your concept of sin comes from your cultural background, your "Englishness", I think too much of it unfortunately. But that's something you have to struggle with. I do like the idea that you think that homosexuality is not natural. If it is not natural, it has to be outside of nature. Therefore it has to be superior to nature.
🎞️ Resident Alien (1990)
Aug 20
Quentin as Englishman in New York reminds me of Oscar Wilde coming to America in the 19th century. He finds in New York a perfect market economy, that's interested in precisely eccentrics. At one point he says America tolerates eccentrics, if you are eccentric in any way Americans think you are selling something. And in a way you are. He is ultimate product for sale in New York.
- New York is place where you can do fame by itself, it can become a career.
🎞️ Resident Alien (1990)
Aug 21
- Attending a noisy or crowded social event for an extended period of time
- having to mask or camouflage your autistic traits, your true autistic self for long periods of time in order to fit in socially
- overwhelming academic or work demands without appropriate support
- navigating complex social interactions, coping with transitions between different activities or environments
- facing a high pressure and fast-based work environment
🟥 What Can Cause Autistic Burnout
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uDzlS12Kpxw
Aug 21
Personality disorder affects people's thinking, if affects their behavior, it affects their mood. They're interpersonal disorders. Depression, anxiety, substance abuse – person is having problem separate from their environment. With personality disorder it shows up in close relationship, during crisis, dealing with authority, people start to have all or nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, screaming and you thought you have normal conversation.
🟥 High Conflict Institute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0xhXw8MyBM
Aug 21
With personality disorder people are in touch with reality but they put a spin on it. Like all-or-nothing thinking, jumping to conclusions, like blaming other people for their own behavior. Understanding they don't have as much control over their personality as the average person does. Arguing, blaming them just make things worse. Stuck pattern in personal behavior, think of it as a relationship disorder.
🟥 High Conflict Institute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0xhXw8MyBM
Aug 21
All of the high conflict people tend to have charming potential. And that's why in dating we tell people wait a year before you make a major commitment like getting married, buying a house or having a child. Because you maybe just not seeing the whole person that over the course of 12 months you usually see the whole person. But over 3 months or 6, you don't know. This may be someone who hits you, someone who blames you a lot.
🟥 High Conflict Institute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0xhXw8MyBM
Aug 21
But at first they're charming, friendly, ordinary. They're very ordinary in most ways. But when you get close is when you eventually start seeing. Personality disorder is basically about close relationship behavior.
What later is understood as control, may initially start as charm or protective and a hero, taking care and being a leader. It was there all the time just seen very differently in the beginning.
🟥 High Conflict Institute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0xhXw8MyBM
Aug 21
High conflict people and people with personality disorders don't have self-awareness. They don't really look at themselves and that's why they are stuck. They don't change the part that they can change. You can't change another person, only your part, how you interact with other people. 80, 90% of people say oops, what did I do wrong there, what can I do different in the future. That's a big thing that personality disordered people don't do.
🟥 High Conflict Institute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0xhXw8MyBM
Aug 21
You can't point this out to them because you'll trigger incredible defensiveness and blame. They'll blame you and say It's you. "It's all your fault". They'll tend to be blaming. The other half make their lives difficult. We need to have compassion for them. There's no point in arguing with them about that. Set limits on them, "I need to go now". Anti-social may punish you for splitting up with them. Have your eyes open.
🟥 High Conflict Institute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0xhXw8MyBM
Aug 21
“I never allow myself to have an opinion on anything that I don’t know the other side’s argument better than they do.”
- Charlie Munger
:calculator: Deepstash app
Aug 21
Until now I had regarded other people only as reflections of my own existence. As an audience of my own problem. Now I saw two of them in violent relation to each other. For the first time I was forced to admit that other people existed.
🎞️ The Naked Civil Servant (1975)
Aug 21
When you're being followed, there are a number of rules to obey.
Be very polite. It may work.
🎞️ The Naked Civil Servant (1975)
Aug 21
My appearance sets me apart from the rest of humanity. It is not easy for me to make human contacts. With strangers it is almost impossible. I learned many years ago the golden rule of my life. In public places I do not speak to anyone unless they speak to me. I do not look at anyone unless they demand that I look at them. It is the only way I know of getting safely to my destination.
🎞️ The Naked Civil Servant (1975)
Aug 21
It was the first, last and only time that I have ever been in a crowd of people where I was the center of attention without feeling that I was in danger.
Nothing sexual happened, nothing was going to happen. It was what I have always longed for, and never elsewhere found. A flirtation. An evening's entertainment.
🎞️ The Naked Civil Servant (1975)
Aug 22
If somebody acts slightly different, than other folks their tendency is to be excluded from stuff. Some of it also was my perception. I think human beings are going to draw wrong conclusions at times just because we don't necessarily have all the information. Human beings are the worst at observing their own behavior. We have tendency of drawing conclusions based on interactions with others without being able to observe our own reactions.
🟥 On the Spectrum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFF9JPSZM1o
Aug 22
I still feel the ableist belief that it is a weakness to need to step away when I am overwhelmed. It's idea in my head that I can't withstand what everybody else can withstand. And so I do view it as a weakness in myself, that is very ableist. I used to avoid talking about the feelings so much so I would do the abusive thing like making the other person feel like it was their fault, because I tried to avoid my own.
I avoided anyone know anything about me
🟥 On the Spectrum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFF9JPSZM1o
Aug 23
India celebrating Moon landing.
Aug 24
When a complex system is far from equilibrium, small islands of coherence in a sea of chaos have the capacity to shift the entire system to a higher order.
🟦 Ilya Prigogine
Aug 25
If you're traumatized human being, you sort of feel like what is happening to you, things that happen to you during the day that happen to everybody, you begin to feel like things are happening on purpose. Sometimes they are- if you're dealing with someone who is malevolent, someone who's highly narcissistic. Sociopath. Sometimes they're not but we don't feel that way. Not trusting.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKONv4CrFLg
Aug 25
Adults who grew up with extremely protective parents may struggle to live independently resulting in them staying with their parents or being overly afraid to get out into the real world and be on their own two feet. Overprotective parenting can be just as bad as abusive or neglectful parenting.
🟥 The Codependency Support Group Video Studies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac9xe4GARH8
Aug 25
Their controlled pattern towards you implies "I'm mess inside", that's why they have to get you to act right because there's so much chaos on the inside that they can't clear out on their own. They imply "I'm going to fall apart if you don't offer me your conformity", "Make me feel good so that I can be ok in this moment".
"You should be ashamed for not giving me what I want". That is part of their codependency. Have little substance inside to draw.
🟥 Surviving Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8klR4ej3_4
Aug 26
"I came to realize that it's not binary - it's a spectrum"
Aug 26
Dunning-Kruger effect vs. Imposter Syndrome
Aug 26
We're not serving from a place of abundance but from a place of thirst. A place of hunger, a place of desperation, place of willpower - we don't recognize that we're really not helping very often as much as we hope we are and that makes us feel even more worthless and more empty.
✝️ HOUR OF POWER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeIyEB3HtW4
Aug 26
Accept they are unlikely to change. This is the first and most important step. As is. You get the person as is. Put "as is" on most people's foreheads. But in particular if there's narcissist in your life put on their head as is on their forehead. If they have personality disorder, it is pervasive, and enduring, not likely to change.
🟥 Barbara Heffernan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2nm35oK-bc
Aug 26
Narcissist will compliment you, and make you feel good, when it is in their interest. The narcissist will criticize you, demean you, belittle you, when it is in their interest. It really has nothing to do with you. So if you take NOTHING personally the narcissist – not the good stuff, not the bad stuff; don't take it personally. The narcissist will project onto you what they feel about themselves, they'll call you narcissist.
🟥 Barbara Heffernan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2nm35oK-bc
Aug 26
The boundaries really require you to protect yourself. Because if you simply try to navigate it by getting the other person to understand what they're doing wrong, narcissists don't think they're doing anything wrong. Ever. Which leads back to that "as is", because they'll never change, because they don't think it's their problem. Believe behavior, not words. If I stay my behavior is communicating.
🟥 Barbara Heffernan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2nm35oK-bc
Aug 26
We treat our triggers as something to get rid of, something to fix, something that is problem, something that signifies that we're broken, that we're flawed. That we are deeply damaged, we're irreparable. So there can be a lot of shame, pain when it comes to triggers. Trigger overwhelms us and we have automatic reaction that doesn't necessarily make sense to situation at hand. "I'm going to get hurt" and we have big reaction
🟥 Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlvLtFvm5P0
Aug 26
I thought there was something genuinely wrong with me. I thought that these triggers were a part of me-part of who I was. That led to deep cycle of shame, hate towards myself, and very long, prolonged battle of trying to fix myself by getting rid of these triggers. I deliberately chose to respond to them with warmth, curiosity, some inquiry. Wonder it's okay that it's scary, give myself permission it could be scary right now
🟥 Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlvLtFvm5P0
Aug 26
Triggers are there to help us see where we need that care, that protection and that connection to nurture, our well-being.
🟥 Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlvLtFvm5P0
Aug 26
When a behavior is no longer followed by a rewarding consequence, it loses its strength over time.
Kinnu app
Aug 26
Wounded inner children think abusive people are just making a choice to not be good towards them. Or be loving towards them. Instead of knowing that toxic people are not capable of being good and being loving towards somebody. Spending time looking for secret magic code about how to get your parent to be happy or to engage with you, or to become more loving with you- that secret code is really codependency.
🟥 patrickteahanlicswtherapy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/pZGQ1wdFlKg
Aug 26
As kids, we did a lot of that because children do not see the toxicity in their parents. They just see that the parent is making a choice because the kid is bad, the kid is unlovable... So we grow up into adults not looking at abusive people for what they are. We tend to ignore a pathology around people being incapable of loving because we only are looking for that magic key about how to wake somebody up.
🟥 patrickteahanlicswtherapy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/pZGQ1wdFlKg
Aug 26
She would gaslight me turning those normal reactions into selfish ones. With friends and partners later in life I would vacillate between upset by something and then hate myself for being so bothered by the thing and I would gaslight myself. I was conditioned to not trust my intuition, or to not use my feelings that operate like a compass for us. Gaslighting is manipulation and fuel used for manipulation is shame.
🟥 Patrick Teahan LICSW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNAcUm-U3NE
Aug 26
Lady, you better learn how to treat people.
- Me?! You're telling me I have to learn how to treat people? I, who am the most loving person the world? I am a people pleaser! I love people!
🎞️ Carol & Company - Season 02 Episode 02 - "Diary of a Really, Really Mad Housewife" TX: 29/09/1990
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4d9vBpCOjo
Aug 26
Future Faking:
When somebody talks about or hints at the future to get what they want in the present
Aug 27
Things that can co-exist
Aug 27
"Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith"
Aug 27
"Model" citizen
:calculator: Deepstash app
Aug 28
Ability to think in detail is blessing and it helps us to remove toxicity.
At any job, we will be paid to think and to prevent errors from happening.
Nobody will pay us to not do anything. So society is build on overthinking.
Making fun of our preparedness is called:
Preparedness paradox
The paradox is the incorrect perception that there had been no need for careful preparation as there was little harm, although in reality the limitation of the harm was due to preparation
https://77ranko.blogspot.com/2023/07/m
Aug 28
Anxiety could possible be normal. We actually all have a degree of neuroticism, one of the Big 5 personality traits. So we know that anxiety is part of everyone's personality to some degree and of course some people are higher in a trait of neuroticism than others. Person generally anxious about everything, driving, picking, making right decision everything they do.
Neuroticism is part of our personality structure, everybody has it.
🟥 Shrinks In Sneakers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JOCQhgGZ_w
Aug 28
Simpsons comics #028
Aug 28
When our errors occur - if we are truly aware of pricelessness of neuroticism - we will understand that we are doing everything humanly possible to be perfect 24/7 unlike most of other people who are not strong enough to worry and who do not have personality traits as high as we have in neuroticism.
Social anxiety could be called as Preparedness paradox.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialAnxiety_Ide
Aug 29
but when people have recurring panic attacks WITHOUT CLEAR TRIGGERS, and come to have fear of having more unexpected attacks they may be diagnosed with panic disorder
🟥 Doctorpedia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwIM8R6bpkU
Aug 30
The truth is everything in the end. It is the greatest power in the world to make all people equal. If everyone knows what the truth is, no one can use lies to separate those people and turn them against one another.
🟦 Mel Odom
Aug 30
If you don't feel like you're good enough and you don't know it, then there is no way to escape the trauma matrix and codependency matrix. You're just keep on doing what you've always done, you're going to get the same results, you're going to get frustrated. In the latter stages of codependency you end up with severe depression, severe health issue. And you don't know you've could escape matrix. You live below the veil.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8mOz-h1dXk
Aug 30
What you do as someone below the veil feels not good enough? You try to be good enough. How? You connect to the outside. You develop attachments. You develop these identities within yourself. And you give meanings to things that are happening outside of you. “If I can please my husband, than I am good enough”. In trying to please others, where is my conscious mind? It's in hypervigilance. Trying to figure out what person needs
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8mOz-h1dXk
Aug 30
Narcissist, have a false mask. The illusion is that they are enough. That they're better than everybody else. Codependents are trying to be as good as everyone else. Whereas a narcissist false reality is the fantasy in their head is they are already better than you are. And unfortunately when it comes to codependence we oftentimes enter into relationships with narcissists who appear so strong, appear to have it all together.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8mOz-h1dXk
Aug 30
We have to traverse I am not enough. We have to learn to believe we are enough. We need to understand at least cognitively, that when we don't feel enough what we do by default is we wait for someone else outside of us to show us how to be enough. We give our power over by default to people. There are so many deceptive ways that are happening because it is immature way to relate to people.
🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8mOz-h1dXk
Aug 31
Always remember the rule in narcissistic relationships: which is you can't win. It's their rules, and Radical Acceptance means recognizing that. It doesn't mean that you like it. Radical Acceptance is: I'm good with this, it's just understanding that these are the nature of these relationships. People who grow up with narcissistic parents have their emotions pathologized from an early age and learn to tamp down those emotions to be good kid in their eyes.
🟥 DoctorRamani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXYdHIkQi9I
Aug 31
"Being difficult to a narcissist is a compliment. Not sure why they think their standards are everyone else's."
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